It killed me a little inside every time she talked about...me changing her...how could I do that to my love? It hurt so much to think that I was going to be the one to end my sweet angels' life. That she wanted me to be the cause of her death, and even though if all went to plan I would be the source of eternal life to her, all I really was doing was damning her for eternity. A life of eternal damnation that was what my life was or at least until I found my Bella.
But now I couldn't live without her?...how could I do this send her into eternal damnation?... how could I let her human life slip away?...I knew it would happen though, Alice had seen it...and you never bet against Alice.
How could I send my angel to a living hell? To hell itself on earth? How could I take away her soul?... I lay there next to her for a long time thinking, just listening to her heart beat cherishing its every beat and counting them knowing they were numbered.
As much as I loved her and couldn't live without her I wanted to save her but what if the only way to save her was to change her? What would I do then? Would I be as strong as Carlisle? Would I be able to do it? Just as I was begging to doubt myself my Bella uttered my name, once again reminding me that no matter what, I would save her. Even if I had to die doing it.
But I refused to hurt her! I wouldn't hurt her! I couldn't, No! I couldn't think about it anymore, my head was going to explode. The sun began to rise and my sweet angel began to wake up I instantly wrapped my arms around her and nestled my face into her neck inhaling her scent deeply. After all, this was exactly where I wanted to be for the rest of my life, with Bella. Preferably with her living. But as Alice would say and we all know some things just don't go to plan.