Chapter One- Of Course

He was not who she thought of imparting this to, truly. But the words came regardless of her barely-conceived intent. She left him with only the barest of details, nothing more to go on then to please meet her at the docks as soon as possible. He had not crossed her mind during her first frantic dialings, numbers punched and erased, it was only standing on the docks that she realized he was who she needed, a white knight to save the day, a charming prince to sweep her off her feet.

"Claudia." There was concern in his voice, his breath heaving in his chest as if he had ran there, not that he would, he was raised better than that. She turned; a vision in satin and lace, a silent tear and a smile for him.

For a second Nikolas feared for his own sanity, he always feared for his soul with Claudia, a temptress like no other, luring him down into the darkest recesses of his heart, but he had never feared for his gripe on reality. Claudia was not Emily. But there she was an angelic vision, too out of place to be true, a satin dress dragging along the splintered wood of the docks, a heartbreaking sad smile on her face, and a heavy lace veil twisting between her hands.

"Hey. You came." And then he really looked at her, weighing the extent of her in a long piercing gaze so that she couldn't stop her smile. It was inappropriate how thankful she was to him in that moment for actually making eye contact, and seeing her, no ghost hovering over her shoulder, not the blood on her hands, not all of the broken pieces, just her.

Nikolas blinked twice, all of it too surreal to digest in one moment. Yes, he came, of course he came. He himself didn't know why, he had heard her voice so frantic, with none of the control he knew she fought so hard for, and he found his feet moving of their own volition. He told himself it was because he wanted to help, that's all, it had nothing to do with the madness in her eyes that seemed to match the screaming voices in his own mind, two souls on the brink of insanity, bloodshed and love a breath away from each other. Of course, he came. "You called." It seemed important to remind her of that, but he didn't know why. "What's going on?"

Claudia looked down at her hands, the end of her veils twisted in a ball between them, as a child she couldn't help fidgeting; maybe she hadn't changed as much as she thought. It was absurd of course, him here, her there, them together. She laughed at her own foolishness, the sound strange, piercing the silence between them, a smile that didn't belong on her face. "I'm getting married."

Of course she was. Nikolas waited for more pieces to click into place, but none did. "I guess that explains the dress." It was an insufficient reply and he knew that, it almost bordered on rude for all that it was lacking. She raised her eyebrows, a bit of mocking in her smile, but he paid it no mind. His eyes soaked her in; she looked so… different, she looked just like a girl, not like a power hungry mob princess. "You look beautiful." He added somewhat clumsily, something he never was except with her, awkward because she was unlike any person he had met, loving and hating, scared and endlessly brave rolled up into the gorgeous woman before him.

"Thanks…" Her voice drifted off as if she was unsure if it was some sort of backhanded comment, wary of the contentment she felt with him.

Nikolas shook his head, "I'm sorry but…" He gestured to the dress. "When exactly are you getting married?"

"In about twenty minutes."

"Okay." He rocked back on his heels, his fingers in a steeple at his lips. Her answer was too calm. "Here?" He asked, feeling as if perhaps he had forgotten and he himself had proposed to Claudia; it was preposterous of course but so was everything at the moment.

"At St. Michaels. " She could see the question on his lips and she took a deep breath, exhaling loudly before throwing herself into the fray. "To Sonny. I'm getting married to Sonny."

How, what, why, above all else why, why would she do this to herself, Nikolas couldn't understand. Sonny wasn't a monster but she hated him, hated him, had wanted him dead and paid with her soul. She would die there, she would flick and burn out, a flame with no air. "You can't." He didn't know why he cared, knew he shouldn't but he did. "You can't." He repeated his voice a breath above a whisper.

Claudia took a step forward then, squaring herself with him, giving him a heart wrenching soft smile, tilting her head as if he were a child needing comfort, a lie to keep the demons at bay. "I have to."

He was waiting for her to speak, to tell him what he believed he was entitled to, and he stepped back, looking out over the water, something real in a world that he turned into a cacophony of dreams and nightmares.

She began quickly, because the quicker this was out the sooner it would end. And then maybe he wouldn't hear it all but that wouldn't be her fault because she had said it. The further in she got, the more tears burned behind her eyes and the more the words slowed. I don't want to be this. And how to explain to him that she wasn't happy with where she was, with what she had begun, with the repetition and the superficial and disconnections and the results that were hollow. It was all a battle she couldn't remember why she was fighting, except for that not fighting meant to lay silently on a cold slab or worse for Johnny to. "And I have to do this; I have to keep Johnny safe. I can keep the peace." And she thought it was ironic that after so many battles she had started where blood ran down the street that she was giving her soul to stop one, if she still had a soul at all; who knew when the devil came to collect.

He smiled self-consciously, but looked away, unsurprised but not fine with it. That was her life, blood spilled, marriages arranged, families with murder in their eyes; something not to different from his own and maybe that was all it was. Maybe he just wanted to save her, maybe then it would be that he himself had gotten out, gotten away from the danger and destruction that was summed up in one word- Cassadine.

"And I just-" There it was, the thing she hated, the needy part of her that she didn't want to show. "I just can't do it on my own. It's crazy I mean I know it's no big deal really but… "And then she was done, completely, with no more words left inside her at all, and he reached across and covered her hand with his.

"You don't have to do this alone." Claudia exhaled; his hand was so hot. "Well I guess I don't have time to change."

The comment struck Claudia as something so innately Nikolas, the impeccable dress and manners, someone far beyond her reach in both breeding and brains, yet he was holding her hand. "Not really."

"That's okay. We'll make do." Of course they would, they had lived with demons bigger than this.

TBC

A/N: I am very nervous about this story so please let me know what you think. Its going to hit on Claudia's relationship with several different men and how they all fold into her life.