Author's Note: Thank you, my dear reviewers! It feels so good to have your work appreciated! I love you guys!! Anyway, another Disclaimer, because I didn't mention I DON'T OWN FULL METAL ALCHEMIST. Thank you! A/N end.
Percy looked troubled. Annabeth nudged him. "What's up?" He shook his head and fell silent. Then he said quietly, "They're mortal." "What?" "They're mortal, Annabeth! That's what she said! Remember? She said that if I pass Riptide through them, they won't disintegrate, die, or bleed golden blood. So that must mean that they're mortal!" Annabeth looked away. "I don't like this, Percy. If mortals can... walk in and kick Mr. D out, well..." They looked at each other, not saying anything. Then they turned and sprinted towards the cabins.
Annabeth slammed open the door to find all her brothers and sisters lounging about, talking about strategic war. "Annabeth!" they cried as soon as they saw her. "But... What...? I mean... Mr. D..." She trailed off, confused. "I know!" her brother cried, "You know that Chopsticks woman? She's mortal! And she carries shotguns!" "Shotguns...? What about Mr. D?" "Oh, he's on two week's vacation. That's why they came." whispered one of her sisters dramatically. "Right... Okay... Wait... I'll just find Percy..." Annabeth murmured, desperately trying to grasp the fact that there was nothing wrong with camp. If those two girls had been evil or bent on destroying the camp, they would've done it sooner. She stumbled out of the cabin and let her legs take her to Cabin 3.
Percy slammed open the door, expecting some kind of monster. But lounging on the bunk next to his, was a boy with fair hair listening to his iPod and reading a book. He scowled. "You're kinda noisy, aren't you?" Percy just gaped. "WHAT IN THE HADES??"he screamed, pointing and backing away, because his brain just processed something: this guy was reading a book. A novel. An English novel. He can't be dyslexic. He's mortal. "I would ask you to use that name with caution, Percy." said a cold voice behind him whom he recognized as Nico di Angelo. "NICO! This guy--He's mortal! And just now those two girls said--" He stopped when Nico held up his hand. "Alex?" Nico asked, looking at the boy. "Right. So he's my cabin mate? Like, the Son of the Sea God and all?" The boy, Alex, asked, looking Percy up and down. Percy felt stupid all of a sudden. "I'm Alex Rider." Percy looked at his outstretched hand like it was a dried pudding. "You're not a demigod." Alex raised an eyebrow. "Meaning...?" "You're mortal. Why are you here? I thought the barriers..." Percy trailed off. "Oh. Mr. D let the girls in. Then he also let you in." He said, his brain working furiously. Alex rolled his eyes. "He's a genius!" He said sarcastically, then he turned back to his book. Percy sat down and put his head into his hands. Nico walked over, worried. "Percy, you okay?" "Oh, yeah. Sure. Everything is just peachy." Percy gave a hollow laugh. "It's great. We have mortal girls running camp, and I just noticed that I have a new, mortal bunk mate with the body of an athlete-" "You looked at my body?" Alex turned around, horrified. Percy's head popped up. "What- Yeah, I did- NO NOT IN THAT SENSE!! That is SICK!" He yelled. He reached for the door, while Annabeth flung the door wide open and walked- into Percy. Their heads crashed together with a resounding crack and they slumped to the floor. Nico looked at Alex. Alex shrugged. "At least that saves us the effort of knocking them out." He stated.
Meanwhile, Jade shuffled through some letters. "Bills... Bills... Brochure... Bills... Letter... Bills... A-hah!" Triumph, she snatched up a pink envelope from the pile. "Chopsticks! I got it!" "You did?" asked the girl lazily, picking at the ribbon on her shirt. "Yup! Transfer form... for Alex Rider, Harry Potter and what's this..." Jade squinted at the printed paper. "An Edward Elric and Envy." She looked up. "Where are they from?" Chopsticks rolled over to face Jade. She looked stunned. "You don't know Edo?" "Edo?" "Ed, Edward, Edo, Chibi-chan..." Chopsticks recited all his nicknames. "Hageno o-chibi-san..." Jade help up -both- her hands to stop her. "Who is he? Is he even supposed to be in the story?" Chopsticks brightened up. "Oh, that won't scare the readers. All they need to know is Edo is sensitive about his height. As long as Percy doesn't call him short, I don't think it'll influence the story much." "Huh. You sure about this?" "Oh yeah. But then Envy might be a problem." "Why?" "Jade! Read FullMetal Alchemist! Or at least watch the anime!" Chopsticks yelled, brandishing a book in front of Jade. "Stop! Evil-doer! You shall not terrorize this young lady any longer!" A voice cried from the doorway. Jade and Chopsticks froze. Standing proudly at the door was a boy. And he was short. Very short. In fact, he was so short- "WHO IS THINKING I'M SHORT?! I AM NOT SHORT!! I'M 17!! I'M JUST FUN-SIZED!!" he screamed at no one in particular. "Jade," Chopsticks sighed, getting up from her comfy sofa. "Meet Edward Elric."
Jade stared at the boy who was quietly sipping his tea. Okay, scratch that. Edward is never quiet. His right arm and left leg was metal. "Auto-mail." He corrected. His blond hair was tied into a braid. He looked girlish. Suddenly the door slammed opened again. "CHIBI-SAN!!" the figure yelled from the doorway. "I'M HEERRRRREEEE!!" Chopsticks sank down to the floor. "Oh my god no..." Edward jumped up. "AUGH!!" Jade's cup of tea shattered onto the floor, and it lay there forgotten. Standing before them was a person. "Envy." Chopsticks presented the Mystery Man. "He's a male." Jade looked back at him. He did not, in fact, look anything like a male. He looked even more girlish than Ed, who was wearing tight leather pants. Except for the lack of boobs, he looked like a female hooker. His green hair defied gravity and floated after his extremely thin body. He was dressed in a shirt that showed off his flat stomach and- "Why is he wearing a skirt?" Envy turned purple, same color as his eyes. "IT'S NOT A SKIRT!! IT'S A SKORT! SKIRT SHORTS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND, YOU STUPID WOMAN?!" He shrieked, furious. Jade blinked and turned to Chopsticks. "This anime's characters all have screaming issues, huh?" Chopsticks sighed. "I thought it would be an amusing addition..."
Dinner. Oh great. Percy felt used. Well, still. He's a hero. He's supposed to be used by the gods. But somehow those two mortal girls freaked him out. Just before dinner, when he was taking a bath -in a boy's shower! Fer Christ's sakes!- when someone called him. "PERCY JACKSON!!" Percy yelped and willed the steam to cover his... ahem. Then he turned around. And suddenly he wished hadn't. Jade was Iris-messaging him. He choked back his scream. "I can only see your face, you ninny! Now, stop blushing and pay attention! I've got something I need to tell you." Jade said urgently. "Tonight, at the dinner, Chopsticks will announce it to the whole camp. Well, actually it was my idea, but she does all the talking." Jade shrugged. "Anyway, the point is, we can't have you looking like an idiot, so I thought I'll just tell you. In advance. Remember, the audience always likes a good show. The more dramatic the better." She was about to disconnect when Percy spoke up. "No, wait! What are you talking about?" he asked. "What do you plan to tell camp?" Jade looked at him, eyes darkening. "You thought we were joking? This is serious matter, Percy." And with that, she disconnected the line. He just stared at the wall until Alex pounded at the door yelling something about hogging the bathroom. So that was it. That explained why the minute he stepped into the mess hall, the two mortal girls turned their eyes on him. And obviously they were scheming something. The hairs on his neck stood up. They really were freaking him out.
Chopsticks cleared her throat and silence fell throughout the hall. Annabeth wondered what she had to do to make such an impression. Even Mr. D wasn't greeted with such enthusiasm. "Tonight, we have new guests!" she started, and the campers started murmuring to themselves. "First off, Harry Potter! Although, I think most of you will know him." She smiled. The campers roared. Harry appeared in a puff of smoke and looked around. "Clarisse!" Chopsticks yelled over the din. "He will be staying in the Ares cabin for a while, so take good care of him, okay?" she winked. Clarisse smirked and winked back. Oh yes. Harry Potter is in very good hands. "Next! Alex Rider!" More cheers. The campers went wild. Alex bounded up to the stage and waved. "He will be staying in Cabin 3." Alex leaped off the stage and landed neatly on the table. The campers went wild. "That's it! Everybody STOP!" Chopsticks yelled, whipping out a very dangerous looking shotgun. She was breathing fast. One of the younger campers in the Aphrodite cabin twitched. She turned and pulled the trigger. The bullet missed his feet by inches. The hall went deadly quiet, their ears still ringing from the gunshot. Then she cleared her throat. "As I was saying, we have new campers. Let me introduce-Envy!" The green-haired person bounded on stage. "He will be staying in the Aphrodite cabin." Someone yelled, "She's a he? Why's he wearing a skirt?" "IT'S A SKORT!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? SKORT!!" Envy screamed, looking like he was going to burst out into tears. "Envy, just... go." Chopsticks soothed him. He blinked once and grinned. Oh yes, Envy was back. He strutted over to the Aphrodite cabin, smirking. The sons and daughters of Aphrodite nodded. He was good. "And also Edward Elric. He's good at making stuff so he'll be in the Hephaestus' cabin." "He's SHORT!" somebody yelled. Edward leapt off the stage and dragged the person out of the mess hall, snarling and flexing his fingers. "Don't kill him, Ed!" Chopsticks called after him. "Finally that's over..." Jade muttered into Chopsticks' ear. "Now... for the fun part."
"I remember telling Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase," Chopsticks started, "that we have recently taken over Mr. D's place as Camp Director." She glanced over to the Poseidon table. Percy and Alex was engaged in a whispered argument. "-will you just act normal for once?" "What is your problem? I landed on the table!" "Normal people don't jump onto tables, you-" "PERCY JACKSON!!" She yelled. Everybody turned and stared at him. "Whoops." he muttered weakly. Chopsticks ignored him. "As I was saying, we have taken over Mr. D as Camp Director. That means we make all the rules, get it?" "Yes!" the crowd chorused. They didn't look worried. In fact, they looked excited. "So... Let's make a new rule, shall we?" There was an evil glint in her eyes that told Percy to run for it. "Annabeth Chase, from now on you will eat, sleep, train and spend all your free time with Percy Jackson." The campers jumped up and cheered. Annabeth buried her face in her hands. Silena clapped her on her back and shrieked "Go get him, girl! He's all yours!" While the others congratulated her on "hogging her boy", Clarisse did what she did best. "Oi Princess! Don't let him go!" And she went off cackling. Annabeth looked up and stared after her. "That... was weird." She mumbled.
Percy felt like killing himself. Thank the gods Grover isn't here or else he'll be laughing his hooves off. "PERCY!" someone bleated. Speak of the devil... "Hey! G-man! Uh... Why are you here? I thought you were uh... somewhere... not here..." he trailed off. "I found Pan!" He said rather proudly. "And aren't you gonna invite Annabeth over? I mean..." Grover waved his hand in the general direction of the two girls. Jade waved. "I wanna kill them..." He groaned. Somebody plonked Annabeth onto the bench. She looked dazed. Percy just wished they would stop wolf-whistling. Then he saw Jade talking to the Stoll brothers. Oh great. Anything concerning the Stoll brothers is bad news.
Chopsticks cleared her throat. "Now that the announcements have been made, let us begin our dinner!" She declared brightly. As Percy made his way up to the bronze brazier and slipped his piece of pizza in, a thought flashed through his mind. Aphrodite. The goddess of love caused this.
--
AHAHA! Cliffy! Actually, I just got tired and decided to stop here. It's two thousand words, that's all you're gonna get from me. For now. :