Disclaimer: I don't own SPN or Good Omens

Step 1- Lie to my best friends

When Emmy arrived at St James Park, ten minutes before the arranged time, she was unsurprised to find Aziraphale already stood at their usual spot. He was holding a bag of Morrison's Own wholegrain bread that he was throwing to the ducks while waiting.

It was one of those deceptively warm spring mornings that conned Englishmen into thinking that they'd be in for a similarly warm day before dousing them all in rain around lunch time when they left the office to enjoy their sandwiches. Having had 6000 years' experience of dealing with English weather, Emmy had anticipated this and was wearing a woollen, black Belstaff coat and was holding a black umbrella with a curved wooden handle in her right hand. Her brown curly hair was cut to just below her collar bone and it flew everywhere in the cool spring breeze. Aziraphale's blonde curls were moving the smallest amount as was the long fawn coloured winter coat that hid the obnoxious tartan suit that would, no doubt, be underneath.

"Heya, Angel Cakes." She said in greeting as she reached his side and slipped a hand into the bag to grab a slice.

"Ahh, hello, My Dear." He grinned at her as she began to rip the bread into duck-sized pieces and throw them out, "How's America?"

"Well, you and Crowley were right. Can't get a decent drink anywhere. Other than that though, it's not too bad."

He smiled down at her (he had a considerable height advantage) and said "Ah, well, that's good. And how's dear Gabriel?"

"He's good." She grinned as her thoughts turned to her long-term Archangel boyfriend[1]. "Still hiding from Michael and doing Trickster business."

Aziraphale nodded and they stood in companionable silence for a minute before he asked "So what do you need our help with, my dear? Or would you rather wait for Crowley?"

"I'd rather wait. You know me, Angel Cakes, too lazy to explain something twice. Speaking of Snakeface, I promised him coffee. Want to come?"

During the ten minutes it took the angel and cupid to buy three cups of coffee, Crowley had made his way to the park. He'd gotten bored within ten seconds of arriving and spent the rest of the wait turning the assembled ducks into a quacking, scrambling, warring mess with well-aimed bread crusts onto their backs. He was laughing raucously to himself when he heard a disapproving and familiar voice say "Really, my dear?" just behind his left shoulder.

"I'm just doing my job." He defended with a smirk as he turned around and saw the angel holding a cardboard carton with three cups of Café Nero coffee in it and Emmy who was watching the ducks with a raised eyebrow. "Spreading discord and violence wherever I go."

"Yes, but do you have to do it to the ducks?"

"Guys, I didn't bring you here to argue!" Emmy interjected, giving her friends a disapproving glance each.

Crowley smirked and Aziraphale looked sheepish.[2] "You're right, of course, my dear. So now that Crowley's finally here, what do you need?"

She took a breath and said "Well-" and was then interrupted by Crowley. He glared at her hands in which she held only an umbrella and pointed out "You didn't bring me a bagel!"

"Oh for crying out loud!" She rolled her eyes and held out her hand. A few seconds later a sesame seed bagel with a cream cheese and salmon filling appeared and she handed it to him. "Here, knock yourself out! Now shut up and listen!"

He took the bagel and smirked before taking a bite.

"I need your help." Emmy re-started.

"With what?" Crowley asked suspiciously, spraying breadcrumbs everywhere.

"My job." She admitted as he groaned, "After the whole 50 people in one day thing my superiors think I'm some kind of genius and keep giving me really hard jobs. I'm struggling to cope!"

"No." Crowley said.

"Crowley…" The angel said disapprovingly at his blunt dismissal.

"No, Angel, I'm not doing this! Do you know what They would do to me if they found out I was helping you spread the gift of love or whatever! I'm in enough trouble as it is!"

"But, Crowley!" Emmy said desperately, "You owe me remember? Both of you!" She had to get his assent, if she didn't the plan was finished.

He spluttered out "Owe you? I don't- What? I don't owe you anything!"

"Yeah you do! The apocalypse 2.0, remember?[3]"

Crowley deflated like a balloon and glared across the park, he took a savage bite out of the bagel and sighed in defeat. "Fine." He declared. "But we are not conducting this conversation sober."

"It's a little early for drinking isn't it, my dear?" Aziraphale questioned as they followed a stalking Crowley towards his parked Bentley.

"Well, as Gabe always says," Emmy grinned, "It's always the afternoon somewhere."

The backroom of Aziraphale's bookshop was filled with the sounds of glasses and giggling[4]. The angel, demon and cupid had been drinking solidly for about four hours and were absolutely smashed. Crowley had refused to talk about Emmy's plans until he was good and drunk and had finally decided he was ready. His ever-present shades had fallen under the table and his yellow snake eyes were glazed.

"So, wha's this plan thingy, you got?" Crowley waved a hand negligently and knocked an empty bottle on to the floor.

Emmy was leaning onto the small section of table that wasn't covered in bottles with crossed arms, head pillowed on them. She looked up as he spoke and made a sound that might have been a word. "Wha?"

"You know, for your job!"

She stared blankly for a few seconds before what he had said sank through her alcohol-addled brain and she remembered the reason for their drinking. "Oh!" she exclaimed and sat up straight then leant on her left elbow and started to explain, staring at Crowley.

"There's these two guys, right, Sam an' Dean. They're Hunters."

"Met some hunters once." Aziraphale muttered, Emmy paused and they looked at the angel. His hair was a complete mess, and he'd stripped down to his dress shirt during the first hour. "Spent their time killing everything for no reason. S'not right…" He mumbled, trailing off and staring towards the back window.

Emmy turned towards him and waggled her finger "Nononono. S'not that kinda hunter. Kind that hunt 'im." She pointed at Crowley who blinked in surprise.

"Me?"

"Yeah, kind that hunt demons an' ghosts an'," she paused as she tried to remember other things the two men had killed before and when she drew a blank she decided on "an' various other supernatural shite."

"Why'd I wanna get involved in a plan with two guys that wanna kill me?" Crowley tried to glare at the cupid but the effect wasn't very strong when he was swaying slightly.

"Not kill," Aziraphale corrected "Inconbeb – incog- oh I give up." He thumped his head onto the table.

"An'way," Emmy continued, "they love each other, right, but they're too scared to go for it, so I figure, if I kidnapped one, right? An' I give him to you," she pointed at Crowley, "to hold 'ostage an' I direct the other to Az," she pointed at him "to lead and guide 'im to his lost love, right? An' then they'll be so glad to be alive they'll kiss an' stuff." She finished proudly.

"An' then they'll try an' kill me." Crowley muttered.

"Nah, we won't let him." She gestures at herself and Az, who smiled wobbly in Crowley's direction. "So are ya in?"

Crowley squeezed the bridge of his nose and said "I'm gonna live to regret it but alright. I'll do it."

"And you, Angel Cakes?"

"As if there was any doubt!" He grinned up at her.

"Great." She stood up unsteadily and forcibly sobered up. "Well, I better make sure they haven't gotten themselves killed while I was gone. We'll work out the details in a few days, yeah?"

They nodded.

Emmy grinned and left for America.

Footnotes:

1. They had, in fact, been dating since some point in the 18th century after having met in Italy.

2. Pretty much their default expressions

3. The Apocalypse 2.0 happened two years into Emmy's time off. Crowley and Emmy had been gluing pounds coins to the pavement on Oxford Street when Aziraphale had called them in a panic. Apparently, Adam had decided that, after being dumped by his first girlfriend, he didn't want the world anymore and was starting the Apocalypse again. Emmy somehow managed to talk him down thus saving both the world and Crowley and Aziraphale from a dreadful fate no matter which way the coin fell.

4. Emmy was a very giggly drunk