He opens the door for me, and I squeeze into the tiny apartment.

"This is where you've been living?" I ask, trying to keep the surprise from my voice. The single bed is pushed up against the wall, the only seating in the entire place. There's an incredibly cramped kitchenette shoved into the corner, and a closet-sized bathroom.

"Well, when you've been too sick to work for the past three years, and you have to pay for constant medical bills, you can't exactly rent a place where the Queen's guardians reside."

I ignore his biting tone - Dimitri had a need to take care of himself, and it was hard for him to admit that he needed help. I set his bag on the bed.

"Do you need help unpacking?" I ask awkwardly. I haven't seen him in over three years, after he disappeared and broke my heart. How could we ever get over that?

"I'll be alright."

"What about dinner? Do you want me to-"

"Rose, I'm fine. I can handle it. I've been doing this for awhile, now," he says gruffly. I hold up my hands in defense, noting how he runs his boney fingers through his dull hair.

"Alright. I guess I'll go than. I'll check on you tomorrow evening after work..."

"That's not neccessary."

I sigh, I'm not going to argue with him when he's being stubborn. If he wants help, he'll have to ask for it.

"Fine. If you need me, text me or something. "I'll see you later..." I say hurridly, and rush from the run-down apartment, not looking back.

"So he's living in Court?"

I sigh, holding tightly to my paper cup of hot chocolate, Lissa sitting across from me. I've told her about my encounter with Dimitri a couple days ago, leaving out any medical details.

"Yeah. Please, don't go looking for him. He wouldn't want anyone to know-"

"Of course not!" she assures. "So he's living on the East side of Court? Those aren't nice buildings, or a nice area. That can't be good for his health."

I shake my head. "It's in a horrible area. It's a long walk to the infirmary, and anywhere else in Court, it'll feel longer if he's sick. Besides, the whole building was in terrible condition. The whole thing is musty, probably infested with mold."

Lissa shakes her head, sadness weighing heavily on her features. "And there's nothing I can do?"

"No. I practically had to force him into this arrangement. I offered to pay for his care, but he flat out refused. He needs help, but he's too proud to admit it. I don't know how he's going to live alone, Liss, you should have seen him. He looked like a Moroi he was so thin and pale."

Lissa wipes her eyes, her own face pale, her eyes and nose red. "I hope he's alright..." she whispers, and I nearly burst into tears. No, no he's not alright. He's dying. The first man I loved, the man I gave myself to, the man I nearly died to save, was dying. I was okay letting him go, we had already grown so distant by the time he left. But knowing that he would be gone forever, that I couldn't take.

"I hope so, too, Lissa," I say, plastering a fake smile onto my face. "I hope so, too."

"Well, if you need to take some time off to care for him, feel free. You're doing a good thing."

I smile, but still have a heavy feeling inside. Because I'm trying to do a good thing, to help him, but I'm failing.

Despite Dimitri's wishes, I do check on him several days later. Although it's only six in the evening, I can tell I've woken him. The last time I roused him from his sleep, it had been the night of the lust charm, and he had been shirtless, with just a pair of flannel pajama bottoms covering him.

Now, he was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, along with his bottoms. His once-fitted t-shirt now hung loosely on his frame, and the dark circles beneath his eyes stood starkly against his pale skin.

He sighs upon seeing me. "What is it, Rose?"

I frown at his irritated tone. "Drop it, Dimitri, stop acting like I'm some annoying pest. I told you that if you weren't going to let me help you with the medical bills, you were going to live at home and I would check on you. You agreed to it, so stop treating me like I'm causing you some great inconvienence, alright?"

The annoyed look on his face never fades, but he swings upon the door, raising a brow, looking at me expectantly.

I square my shoulders, and walked into the room. I assess his bed, check his bathroom, and begin to dig through his cupboards.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Refusing to turn to face him, I move to the refridgerator. "I'm checking on you."

"By raiding my kitchen?"

God, he's so...

This time, I do spin. "No, Dimitri. As time goes on, this is just going to get harder and harder for you. How are you going to get out of bed by yourself? Bathe yourself? You barely have enough food to last you this week, Dimitri. How are you going to be able to get groceries? If you're going to keep being an ass, fine. But a deal's a deal, and if you think this obnoxious behaviour is going to make me leave you alone, then you're wrong. So fine, just be bitter, but can you just shut the hell up long enough for me to help you help yourself?"

He grits his jaw, but eventually, he nods, though he doesn't look happy about it. "Fine. Do whatever you want to my apartment. Now, will you please leave?"

With a snort, I say, "Be glad to."

I slam the door behind me, rolling my eyes. Dimtiri had always been antisocial, but I was starting to see how easy it could be for him to push everyone away.

So how could I still miss him?