A/N: Thanks for the reviews and favorites last time around! I really hope not to disappoint this chapter. Review blah dee blah blah.

Dib tried to calm himself down. It wasn't like this was his first abduction. Yet, as the man-sized test tube zipped through the massive, un-Irken ship, he admitted he was a little nervous. Even with Zim, there was no mystery behind the captivity. Zim would either spend his time laughing and trying out really bad jokes while Dib was strapped to a cold metal table, or his failed robot dog would perform dances for him with MiniMoose. It was all ridiculous, really, but at least it was better than just sitting here, waiting.

These aliens must be good. Dib tried to mull over that idea. A good invader. Gaz had once told him herself that there should never be too much worry about Zim's plans, because "he's more likely to use his latest laser gun on himself from pointing it at the mirror than to actually conquer the planet with it." But these enemies, they appeared to actually know what they're doing, while Zim usually just made things up as he went along.

As the tube began to slow, he began to feel his heart pound.

What kind of things awaited him?

Invader Zim cackled sinisterly to himself. With this new laser gun at his disposal, he would turn Dib to ash. He ignored Gir's happy sounds as he munched on a roll of duct tape—er, "cheese."

"Master, look! The cheese loves me! He wants to be with me FOREVER!" Gir waved the duct tape roll in Zim's face as the invader sat huddled over his working area.

"Not now, Gir. Can't you see I'm doing some SINISTER?" Zim emphasized the last word, feeling proud of his deviousness.

"But the cheese wants to love you, too!" Gir began smacking the side of Zim's green face to get his attention.

"No, Gir. Never. I will never love that cheese," Zim muttered angrily as he tried to fit the last piece on. "Grrr, why won't it fit!"

Gir, feeling fully discounted by now, began to wail as he continued to smack Zim. Try as he might, the fuming Zim found that the could neither ignore the blundered SIR unit, nor fit the last piece of the laser pistol. Raging now, he turned to Gir to yell more, but, with Gir still smacking him mercilessly, the roll of duct tape smacked Zim in the eyes.

"GAH! Giiiirr! Get it off! GETITOFF!"

"I told you it would love you!" Gir cried happily.

"IT'S SINKING INTO MY EYES SOCKET! GIR! HELP ME!"

Gir, promptly feeling bored, decided it was a good time for waffles.

Dib watched the two silhouette approach his clear prison. His heart pounded when he saw they're claws for hands, their round eys, and their smooth faces. They were tall and daunting, and they smiled evilly at him.

"Who-who are you?" the small boy managed. These were the picture of the aliens everyone always imagined in fear. Almost sickly thin, they're eyes were expressionless.

"We are your worst nightmares, weasel!" one said in a shrill voice. "Do not attempt to resist us!" the lights flickered on and off sickeningly. The other alien howled as the light appeared and disappeared.

"Now, begin the fusion..." the one said ominously.

"No! I'm too young to be fused! Nooooo—waitaminute, is that DUCT TAPE?"

"Gir! Come here!

Gir, who had been happily watching the Crazy Monkey Show, reluctantly stood and walked over to where Zim was staring at himself in the mirror.

"Gir!" he called again. "Get over here before I replace you with MiniMoose and use you for spare parts!" Zim mumbled, "Although I doubt even those will be helpful."

"But I'm right here!" Gir objected joyfully. He was so proud of himself when he obeyed his master.

"Oh," Zim pulled on of the eye patches. "So you are." He slapped it back down. "Gir! I need to know how I look with this gun. I've heard the humans tossing the word 'smexy' around recently, and I've concluded it is a very bad thing. So tell me, Gir. Do I look smexy?"

Gir cocked his metal head, formed picture frames with his hands, and gave a good, long look at Zim. "Yep!" he finally concluded. He gave a thumbs up.

"Good! Alright then, I think I am ready to send FEAR and DOOM into the hearts of the humans." Zim, stomping proudly, made his way to the door. After a failed attempt of not exiting through the door but rather slamming himself into a wall, he succeeded the second time and called out to the world, "Fear me, all who question my authority! For I am SMEXY! None can conquer my smexiness! Not even meat!" before slamming the door behind him.

Gir decided it was the best time to do one of his favorite hobbies, and that was staring at the door.

Good times, Gir thought cheerfully.

Gaz was extremely annoyed. Why did the cow's head have to have that shape? She growled. Maybe what she needed was to cut off that head in her picture. It would end it's misery, anyway. Better have it killed now than steroid pumped and slaughtered for McMeaties or Bloaty's Pizza Hog. Mmm, Gaz licked her lips. Bloaty's Pizza Hog...

By the time her father returned home from the month of sleeping in his office, Gaz's cow looked more like a Pepperoni Pizza.

"Hello, umm..." Dr. Membrane checked his pocket book. "...Gaz. Where's your um... brother?"

Gaz rolled her eyes. One day she was going to hire replacement children to see if her father noticed the difference. She looked at him as he stared at the TV, then sighed. Probably wouldn't even skip a beat. "He's out," she replied plainly.

"Oh. Alright. Want to order some pizza?"

Gaz couldn't say yes faster.

Zim interrupted Gir's door watching by trapezing in, storming furiously. "Gir!" he called, not at all pleased.

"Master, look!" Gir pointed at the door happily. "The door opened!'

Zim stared for a moment. "I know that, Gir. It was I," he emphasized himself loudly, "who opened the door. And I am not happy with you, you pathetic excuse for a smexy-radar. I'll have you know not one person concluded that I was 'smexy' in the slightest, and a group of teenage girls laughed at me! Why, I didn't even have a chance to test out my laser. What is the point of a laser if you cannot look smexy with it? Gir, how dare you fail me! Again! Just for that I'm going to... uh... I really don't have much I can do that would put you into too much of a disposition at all, do I?"

Gir shook his head in his ever-gleeful way.

"Well, fine, then. I'm going to stare at myself in the mirror some more. 'Cause apparently that's what you do when you want to be smexy, as a strange earthmonkey with green hair told me."

With that, Zim stalked off, and Gir continued starting at the door.

Unfortunately, now that the door's presence had been disturbed, there was no way he would be able to fully focus on it now. With a cry of a banshee, Gir jumped up and ran toward th bathroom, where Zim was currently trying out different poses.

"I LOVE MASTERMOMMIES!" Gir screamed as he leaped onto Zim's head. Out of reflex, Zim pulled the trigger while still facing the mirror.

As it turned out, Gaz had been right. Zim was much more likely to shoot himself then to actually use it on the actual enemy.