With no forewarning to my brother, I opened the door to his gaudy bright blue limousine, slipped inside and slammed the door loudly in the hopes of getting his full attention which at the time seemed to be on a little half-clothed brunette sitting on his lap.

The girl whipped around and gave a sharp scream as she tried to cover herself. I sighed and touched a gently hand to my abused eardrums.

"Sier, will you shut your little whore up? I believe she has other business to attend to, perhaps a meeting with your other little banshee's, you know...out of the car?" I shooed her away with a flippant hand gesture.

The girl stared at me with wide watery eyes. When she didn't move fast enough, Sier sighed, opened the car door and literally kicked her out of the car with a shiny black shoe. He closed the door swiftly and turned towards me with a look that suggested extreme annoyance, "Sister, how pleasant of you to arrive unannounced! And at such a convenient time too." he said as he adjusted his ruffled clothing.

I gave him a quick once-over, Black hair similar to mine in disarray, dilated black pupils. I made no effort to disguise my disgusted scoff, "Forgive me, I had no idea you'd be entertaining...company of the slutty variety."

Sier laughed, "Oh, shut up. Just because you want to live your life as a saintly prude doesn't mean that I have to. Now, what do you want? And it better be good." he said, crossing his legs and sitting back with forced composure. My surprise arrival had rattled him, and he was still recovering. He hid it extremely well.

I fought down the grimace working to appear on my lips, "Oh, yes. Thats right, I need a favor. I need you to do some research on a boy named Fujioka Haruhi, first year."

Sier's gaze turned into one of amusement. "The honor's student? The dirt poor boy that everyone simply can't stop talking about?" he laughed, "I'll admit, he's been looking better these past few days, but I wouldn't have guessed that he'd be the one you'd choose to pluck your precious little cherry."

I gave his leg a swift and brutal kick, "Ow! Okay, fine, still ever the prude. What kind of information do you need?" he asked, already pulling a notepad and pen from his pocket.

Finally, he was getting serious. "I don't need anything huge, just the basics, favorite color, food, family member's, place of past and present residence, etc. Useless things like that."

"This is starting to sound a lot like a crush."

"It's not, you idiot, it's for befriending him. Any information that leads to that goal will be apprieciated. Now, if you'll excuse me." I moved to exit the car but a sudden grip on my wrist slammed me back down into my seat.

"A friend!" Sier squealed like a giddy school girl. "You're actually trying to make a friend!? Oh, god, I can't breathe!" he wheezed out, "Your first friend and you're trying to get one like this?"

I felt color rise to my cheeks, "I shouldn't have told you anything." I grumbled under my breath.

Sier went on laughing, "No, no, this is good. It will help me know what to look for. But seriously, Riva, what you're planning isn't going to work."

"And why not!? If I take the proper steps and precautions, it should be easy...I mean, I would have already done it before, but-" I hadn't thought it would work before. It had always been easier to avoid the social jungle of relationships, platonic or otherwise, it was always so complex! And the things that had mattered to everyone else hadn't mattered to me. It felt like I was faking it, walking on tightrope where saying the wrong thing or not being interested in the right things, would end up with me plummeting down into the shark infested water. Just riddled with the hazing I sometimes saw other students go through after a sudden fall from popularity. It was brutal.

But now, after a recent revelation...it was time.

"It will work, Sier, I'll make it work."

Sier waved his hand, "No, you don't understand me, hell, I think you can do it, but the thing is, men and women can't be friends."

"...What?"

Sier grinned widely and repeated himself, "You heard me, men and women simply cannot be friends. It doesn't work that way."

"You and you're sexist bullshit." I huffed in irritation.

Sier shook his head and his tone took on a patient quality, as if talking to a mentally disabled child. "You have absolutely no expertise in this area, I, however, know better. It can't be done. Men and women are too different, either he'll get bored and lose interest, or he'll get a crush on you, try to act on it, and be rejected or accepted. Either way, you won't remain friends."

"...But, surely you're not so simple minded?" Not all men could be like that.

Sier smiled. "What use are you females, without your legs spread wide open."

I left the car with the satisfaction that my brother would have a bright red hand shaped mark on his cheek and a split bloody lip for the rest of the day, and hopefully even after that.

fucking Pervert.