Chapter 2: Heroes and Villains.
"Quickly, back into the warehouse!" Shouted The Doctor, yanking Clara into an alleyway.
"Shouldn't we be getting out of here?" She said.
"No. There's something in that crate which can help us."
"You never use guns." Shouted Clara as The Doctor rummaged around in the crate. "Well sometimes. But not more than once or twice per incarnation."
"Don't worry." Said The Doctor. "This is no gun."
Shots landed all around them as the guards closed in. The travellers responded by diving into the crate. The firing ceased as the guards grew nervous of hitting valuable equipment.
"You've only got time for one shot!" Hunt shouted at them. "Now do you want to make a very messy last stand or do you want to give up and save us all some trouble."
The Doctor leapt up, sporting a pair of sunglasses. In a single second, he'd raised up the neuraliser he'd found in the case and zapped everyone in the room. Wiping the last ten minutes from their memories.
"I'm glad you all came out to greet us." He said. "As you know, we are special advisers for the commander of your armies, who have just arrived from another dimension. Now, I need to know how to get to where the train's going."
The guards softened at this news and led The Doctor and Clara through the warehouse, up some stairs and along some catwalks, to the rail manager's office.
"I'm afraid we don't have any more trains going that way." Said the Fat Controller. "Operations in that area are being kept surprisingly secret. Only high command can arrange transport to the region."
"Then perhaps you could direct me to high command."
Sometime later, the two of them found themselves being led through a long corridor towards the war room.
"So tell me again," said Clara, "How can we be inside the human imagination?"
The Doctor thought for a long time. "It's hard to explain. Your species can only physically perceive three dimensions, so naturally you assume that's the way everything is happening. It's why you've been led to believe that thoughts are just impulses shooting around inside your head."
Clara nodded along. "Whereas, really they are?"
"Well, impulses in your head, but they're not purely three dimensional. Your consciousness accesses various thought dimensions, which you're not consciously aware of, so there's dream dimensions and ambition dimensions. Just as the TARDIS flies through the fourth dimension three dimensionally when it's in the vortex, it can fall through week point in the universe and travel through imagination three dimensionally.. And that's the first time you've given me that look in a while."
"What look?"
"Like you have no idea what I'm talking about."
"I'm just concerned whether you have any idea what you're talking about."
"Yes, but recently, whenever I try to explain anything, you suffer flashbacks of a time when you learned about it in some life of other. This is a concept you've never learned about."
"Well, this should be more fun then. So are we in every race's imagination?" She didn't want to think what sort of things some creatures would imagine.
"Ah, no. It's only human being that can perceive this particular dimension. Part of the reason I like them so much. They have more imagination than any creature that threatens them, hence why they always survive. You can adapt to any challenge."
"But wouldn't that mean that us being here could warp humanity's thought process?
"Oh you ask too many questions. Very little's know about this place, since no-one's ever created a reliable way to get here.
They'd reached the operations room now. Inside, a selection of high commanders from various franchises were gathered round a massive holographic model of what appeared to be a bizarre fusion of several sci-fi and fantasy kingdoms. Clara reminded herself that that was exactly what she was looking at.
The withdrawal from Gotham's almost complete." Someone was saying. "Colonel Watson is confident that their advance can be held at Serenity Valley."
"We can't remain on the defensive forever." Said Roj Blake. "The only way we can stem their advance is to counterattack and take back some of the lands they hold."
"Yes, I quite agree." Said General Melchet. "We could attack their line where its strongest with everything we have, under cover of daylight, they won't be expecting that."
"How did you ever become a General?" Said General Nick Fury.
"I think this discussion will have to wait," said Gandalf, "we have some visitors."
"Ah yes, The Doctor." Said M. "I'm led to understand that you've come to this dimension to advise us in our war."
"Why don't you start by giving me an overview of the situation in this land?"
"I think I can handle that." Said Basil Exposition. "There's a machine known as the master brain, which used to control virtually everything in the land of fiction. Some time ago, it had its hold on the land broken and so it migrated over here and picked up a new writer to control certain characters, so it could gradually build a new power base."
"Hold on, so this isn't the land of fiction?"
"No. This is the land of fan fiction. Now, over here we're harder to control since we don't stem from the imagination of a single person, but from several thousands of people with internet access. At first, the brain only had power over the transparently evil characters, the ones with no clear motivation who just want to be unpleasant. Since they have no characteristics or motivations, they're easy to control. Trouble is, as the villains' territory expands, the machine's power grows. And so it can control characters who are less and less evil and their ranks are swelling all the time as we get driven back."
"We're now ten months into the war now." Said a head on a screen, which The Doctor recognised from Red Dwarf. "The master brain now has control over virtually almost any character identified as a bad guy. Since villains tend to outnumber heroes, we're at breaking point. We believe they're preparing for the final assault to finish us off."
"But why? What does it want?" Said Clara.
"We're inside mankind's collective consciousness." Said The Doctor. "Control this place and you control your entire species."
Aragon directed their attention back to the map "We've been setting up a final defensive line, anchored by the sea to the east and the border of the land of slash fiction to the west. Unfortunately, a huge chunk of our army has been trapped in a defensive pocket to the north. With the numbers we have available, we're not sure if we can hold the entire length of the line."
But The Doctor was concerned with something else he'd said. "Did you say the land of slash fiction?"
"Yep." Said Fury, pointing to a blank space on the western edge of the map. "Both sides gave up trying to make manoeuvres in there a while back. All plot keeps breaking down when you go in and they just end up having sex. We tend to avoid it. Some of those pairings don't bear thinking about."
"It's a shame we gave up on that region." Said Zapp Branigan. "I spent many a fine campaign scouting it out very thoroughly."
"Good thing I didn't bring Captain Jack." The Doctor muttered. "But anyway, moving on to item 2: I came here in a blue police box, which got loaded onto a train called Gordon. The man said it was on its way to Hogwarts. I need to retrieve it before I can help you."
"Did our relief column make it?" Said M.
"Oh yes." Said Gandalf. "In fact, one of the Hogwarts commanders spoke on the radio of a strange blue box none could open."
"That'll be it!" The Doctor said, excitedly. "There's nothing they can do to get in, but if you'll just direct me there, I can open it for you, and fly over to the villain's lair. I can't believe I got to say that in context by the way. I'll have a chat with this master brain, resolve your war for you and fly away."
"Simple as that, it is not." Said Yoda.
"What do you mean?"
"Well," said Basil, pointing to the map. "Here's our front line. And here's Hogwarts. About 50 miles deep into enemy territory. We have several thousand people trapped in a pocket about a mile wide. We're doing all we can to keep it there, since the villains need all their recourses to close it up. Once they succeed, they can attack our main line in force and finish us off. Earlier today, we ran a flying column up this railway here, to resupply the pocket. But we have not yet devised a way to open a permanent link to get them out. They've surrounded the place with anti-aircraft and anti-spaceship guns, anti teleportation fields, they'll up the defences on the route we used today now that we've got through that way. I'm afraid you can't get to your craft."
Clara pointed to a region just west of the Hogwarts pocket. "There's no front line marked here. What's there?"
"That," said King Arthur. "Is where the ambiguous characters live. The sort who switch allegiances at the drop of a hat so you can never tell whose side they're on at any given time. Golem, Severus Snape, Loki, that sort of person. Since we can never rely on local support, and the terrain is very uneven in that region , neither side can establish a firm hold. Both sides launch many expeditions into the region though."
"So if one of your raiding parties can get me to here." Said The Doctor, indicating a point deep within the ambiguous morality region. "I would be only five miles from the TARDIS. Clara and I can then sneak through the lines contact the Hogwarts pocket, use the TARDIS to evacuate everyone and reinforce your main defensive line. Nice and simple."
"What makes you so sure it can get everyone out?" Said the US president. The Doctor wasn't sure which one.
"It not from this dimension so it's unlikely that the villains will have thought of a way to stop it. Its also dimensionally transcendental, so there's enough space inside for everybody to go in one trip All you have to do is get me through the lines."
"I think you might be in luck there." Said Major General Ross. "Major Sharp is due to lead an expedition to contact someone in Mos Eisley. That's not far from where you need to be. You could join them. Though I should warn you that you'll have to dodge around enemy patrols on the way."
"Brilliant." Said The Doctor. "Things are looking up already."
Author's notes: Sorry that it's taken me so long to update, but I had trouble thinking of ways to make the chapter interesting.
I was disappointed, watching Day of The Doctor, that Clara doesn't appear to remember anything (she didn't even know who UNIT were.) I will account for this later.
Though I have an outline for the plot worked out, I am largely writing the story as I go along. If anyone has any suggestions for characters to incorporate, or even characters who could get into a fight, I'll see what I can do.