Today on her day off, Clarke finds herself holed up in her spare room painting with sad blues and ugly greys.
Though Anya is two years older, Clarke remembers her best friend's sister always being around during her life while growing up.
She remembers when they were six and Anya would take both her and Lexa to the park and play with them – even though she acted like she hated doing so. Remembers her having to share a room with the two best friends during the "Annual Woods Family Cottage Trip". Remembers that one time when she was twelve and Anya accidentally kicked her off the tree branch causing her to break her arm (She never lets the older Woods forget it). She remembers Anya telling her, "Your art matters, Clarke. Have you seen the dumb smile it puts on that one's face?" (She pointed at Lexa).
So yeah, Clarke is a little upset she hasn't gotten an invite to the wedding, but Lexa told her that she thinks it's just something small and that she knows Anya is still trying to get invitations out, so she tries not to let it bother her very much.
The sound of her heels clicking against the floor is the only thing heard in the hallway until the ringing from her pocket starts. Plucking it from her jacket, she takes a quick look at the caller ID before swiping her finger across the screen.
"Hey, An".
"Hey, Squirt".
Despite knowing her sister can't see her, Lexa rolls her eyes. "Anya, I know you're well aware that I'm 26". She reaches her apartment door and slides the key through the keyhole. Although she doesn't mind being dressed more proper for work, she's itching to change into more comfortable clothes.
"How was work?"
"Everyone I work with is an imbecile".
The woman on the other end of the line chuckles before replying. "So the same shit but different day is what you're telling me. You'd think that hotshot lawyers would actually be at least somewhat intelligent".
"It baffles me every day".
"Listen, I have to make this quick because Gus and I have to go try some cakes. You should bring a plus one to the wedding".
Lexa makes her way to her room and puts the phone on speaker so that she can change in to her favourite pair of sweats and out of her dress pants.
She already knows where Anya is trying to take the conversation. Sometimes she wishes she hadn't told her, just so that she wouldn't have to be teased about it all of the time ("Great job, Lex. You've fallen in love with your best friend and now you can't stop picturing her naked, can you?" Insert Anya's ugly smug face here).
(Lexa does struggle sometimes).
Lexa remembers the night vividly. Remembers that she'd sprinted through the rain to Anya's apartment right after Clarke had left their weekly night of binging scary movies because Finn called and said he had a surprise for her. They had been cuddled together on the couch, Clarke having her shirt in a deathly grip and hiding her face in Lexa's neck when her phone interrupted the film.
(The surprise wasn't necessarily for her)(He wanted to show off his new Mercedes).
(Clarke couldn't stand being paraded around in it).
She remembers her tears mixing with the rain and hoping her sister wouldn't notice the tremble in her voice when she told her Clarke is more than what Finn ever deserved. When she told her that if Clarke were hers to love for the rest of her life then she'd move through hell and high water to make sure Clarke knows. Remembers that after spending the night on her sister's couch with tear-stained cheeks she told herself head over heart because anything more would ruin what they've built; she can't risk losing the biggest positive that she has in her life to something as terrible as unrequited love. She'd rather have Clarke as a friend than as nothing at all.
She decides to play dumb even though she already understands what her sister is suggesting. "A plus one? But there is no plus one".
"Well you can bring Clarke".
She knew it.
"She's practically part of the family anyway. It'd be weird not having her there".
The only thing Lexa can do is groan in defeat as she pulls her favourite hoodie over her head. It's a faded navy blue hoodie that fits her snugly with "Heda" printed on the back – a childhood nickname given during their war game Trikru versus Skaikru – that Clarke got her before they both parted for university. (Clarke has one to match with "Wanheda" on hers). She knows that Anya is right. Clarke's been there for so many different Woods family events and everyone always welcomes her as if she is one herself.
"Think about it. You can drool over how pretty she'll look and you both can dance together, and maybe you can even tell her how you feel".
"Okay Anya, this has been great and I absolutely love when you remind me of things I don't want to be reminded of, but I'm going to hang up now". She barely hears Anya's hurried "Ask her" before the call is ended.
It's been two days since the call with her sister and she's managed to only scrape by at work because she's been so distracted by trying to give herself a pep talk before calling Clarke. Now that Anya straightforwardly insisted on the blonde's presence she knows she can't keep avoiding it, so she picks up her phone and calls.
The line only rings twice before it's answered.
"Wow, Lexa Woods is actually alive and decided to grace me with a phone call. I was thinking of sending out a search party or something".
In her attempt to work herself up to asking, she has to admit that she'd been kind of avoiding Clarke.
It wasn't her brightest idea, but she knows that if she were to take one look at those gorgeous eyes while being so ill-prepared then she would have surely accidentally made the invite sound more like a date date, not just a date, and then Lexa's embarrassment would've just gone downhill from there.
"I know, I know, I'm sorry. Work's been kicking my ass a little, there's this new deal we've been trying to settle".
"I don't believe that for a second. There's no way my best friend – and probably best lawyer ever – would have her ass kicked. I'm also sure you'd kick ass right back. Have you seen you?"
She decides to just rip off the Band-Aid. "I have a question for you, Clarke".
"Ooh, I have serious Lexa today. Go ahead".
"It's been brought to my attention that you should be my plus one for Anya and Gus' wedding since she practically watched us both grow up attached to one another…And it's not like a date, just, you know, a date. Me and you, but not me and you, you know?"
She decides to leave out the part where Anya had texted her after their phone call to say that Lexa absolutely needs to ask her because her sister was going to just outright give Clarke her own invitation but decided it'd be much better (Damn Anya and her need to embarrass her constantly) if she forced Lexa to ask if she'd be her date.
In short, because it's like some sort of unspoken Woods family rule, Clarke had to be there.
"Plus, since O is practically married to Lincoln already she'll be there too. I think Bell and Echo have something going on, so maybe he'll show up as well". Lexa is rambling. It's a nervous trait which she absolutely loathes because she knows Clarke always catches it (She says she thinks it's adorable), but for the life of her she can't stop (Come to think of it though, what is with her friends and her family all mixing together?). "And I know Niylah and Ray are just testing things out but An said she's pretty sure –"
"Lex, slow down". Her giggle makes the brunette's heart beat a little faster and Lexa curses the fact that she's begun being this affected by her. "I'd be more than happy to go. Even as your not date date".
"Yeah?" Honestly for some reason she made up about a thousand situations in her head where Clarke said no…Now all those reasons just seem stupid and Lexa wants to roll her eyes at herself. (This is Clarke. Of course she'd want to go, idiot).
"A chance to dress up nice, drink, and dance with my favourite person? Of course I'd be there".
"Your favourite person?"
"Wow Lex, for a lawyer you're not really on the ball right now".
Later, their conversation ends with Lexa's cheeks still a crimson colour from being reminded that she's Clarke's favourite person.
When Clarke hangs up the phone she feels a slight pull in her chest.
Don't get her wrong, the blonde loves weddings and she's more than happy that she'll be in attendance at Anya and Gustus' big day. She hoped to be able to go because not for anything, but she expected to be invited. Hoped to see everyone mingle and be happy (and see Lexa get dressed up).
The thing tugging her heart though? It's that Lexa had to be told to bring her along rather than having her best friend automatically wanting her there at her side. Date or otherwise.
When she calls Bellamy later to tell him the news he answers with, "Wait. Why wouldn't Anya just address it to the both of you? Isn't it assumed you guys are going together since you're a couple?" followed up by, "Oh shit. Clarke, I'm sorry. I thought – never mind". The last of his bumbling is him swearing to her "That girl looks at you like you put the stars in the sky".
Platonically? Sure. Anything else though? She doesn't quite understand it and it only makes her heart hurt more.
(With some help eventually Clarke will come to see it too)