The blackness was all consuming, her senses stripped from her. Lenneth was unable to feel anything, existing not as a person, but simply as a soul. A soul that had no body, and no awareness of what was occurring around it. Lenneth knew nothing of the great battles that would be fought on her behalf. Battles that occurred all around her, the violence unable to touch her.
She would know nothing. Lenneth couldn't even think in this form, could not remember or dream. She certainly couldn't actively plot, Lenneth unable to do anything to change her circumstance. It was a loss that was crippling, Lenneth nothing more than a trophy now. She did not despair, did not give in to fear. An existence as a soul wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Lenneth was at peace, a rarity in her long lived life.
Lenneth was almost disappointed when her awareness began seeping back in. It started with sounds, Lenneth hearing the soft chime of bells. Her heart began to beat inside her, pumping life and vitality through her. Her breath was the next to follow, a sudden intake of air filling her lungs. It made her gasp, Lenneth almost choking as she began the process of breathing.
Her eyes were the last to work, Lenneth seeing the darkness flicker. Light began to flash, Lenneth's eyes opening and closing in a rapid blink. By the time they adjusted to the light, Lenneth was chasing off her disorientation. It was not born from the grogginess of slumber, for sleep hadn't been what Lenneth had been doing. She had been pure energy, a soul with no function. But now her body was returned to her, Lenneth laying there, her fingers flexing. Toes wiggling, Lenneth encouraging the odd tingling sensations to course through her body. Checking to make sure everything worked in the proper manner.
She stared upwards as she did this, Lenneth noticing the gauzy fabric that made up a canopy over the bed. Her mind was still sluggish, but once she realized what it was Lenneth was staring at, other facts presented themselves. She was on a bed, large and luxurious, it's mattress seeming to stretch on to infinity in every direction. The canopy's curtains trailed downwards, surrounding the bed with only the merest slit for an opening.
She could see through the curtains, Lenneth looking at the room. It was ornate in design, looking like something that belonged in Valhalla with it's gold glided walls and smooth white marble. There was a window cut into the wall, but there were no bars lined against it's glass. Giving the room the illusion that it was something more than a prison. Lenneth knew better. No matter how finely appointed, the room was nothing more than a cage. And she the capture that lived within it's confines. Lenneth suppressed a sigh.
"I have lost." She murmured to herself. Lenneth didn't dare hope for a better outcome. Doesn't dare dream that there could possibly be another explanation for the situation she now found herself in. Too often had she woken up after battle, in a stranger's bed. Lenneth knows all the signs, knows what this means. Just as she knows what she must do, Lenneth resigning herself to a life of servitude.
But melancholy sadness fills her, Lenneth giving a brief thought to the freedom she had left behind. It had been nice while it had lasted, Lenneth wanting to hold the memories she had made close to her heart. To savor them one last time before resentment twisted her feelings. She'll forever yearn for the freedom she had once had, just as Lenneth will damn fate for allowing her that quick taste of it. It just didn't seem fair, to taunt her with that which had been taken from Lenneth once more.
Her head is still bowed, Lenneth offering up one last prayer to the world she had left behind. To the people and the future stolen from her. She doesn't cry though. She's tougher than that. Or at least she tries to be, Lenneth's hands curling into fists. It is a helpless rage she feels, one she holds back on. She could level apart this room, but in the end such a tantrum would serve no purpose. What good was it to destroy, when it would only earn the disapproval of her latest master? Punishments follow their disapproval, Lenneth feeling an inward shudder in response to memories she refuses to dwell upon.
She's vulnerable enough without doing anything to purposefully displease the one who now owns her. Her armor has been taken from her, leaving Lenneth clad in the thin dress of white she had worn beneath it. There are no sleeves to the dress, just thick straps going over her shoulders to hold the bodice up. The cut of her top is modest, with only the barest hint of cleavage to be found. But the dress is tight, molding to her breasts and to her waist. She abruptly feels indecent, crossing her arms over her chest as though to shield Lenneth from unseen eyes.
She almost laughs then, a bitter, nervous sound. Lenneth knows it is useless to try to hide. She will be seen, in this dress and out of it. Her every spot revealed, examined. To be looked at is not so bad. Not when one considers the alternatives. She forces her arms down, her hands fisting the blanket on top of the mattress. Trying not to remember the lecherous stares of those who had come to her in the past.
It is a difficult undertaking. She may not remember all their names, but their eyes still haunt her. As does the memory of their touches, the hands debasing her. Pinching and probing, doing rough caresses that leave behind bruises. Lenneth has never felt pleasure in being used, and something inside her recoils at the thought of such abuse happening again. But she knows it could be worse. That the hurting and humiliation could be tripled should she try to fight. She's been burned in the past, learning the lesson well. Submit and you won't be hurt anywhere as badly as if you had fought.
Even shaking her head doesn't chase away the memories completely. Lenneth scowls at nothing, and begins crawling towards the edge of the bed. It is a ridiculously soft mattress, meant to comfort at every turn. She seems to sink down in it, even as she moves, Lenneth eventually reaching the edge. Her steady hands reach for the curtain's slit, widening it so that she can pass through. She'll explore her prison, wait out her master who seems to be taking his sweet time in appearing before her. Lenneth almost wishes he'd get it over with. The wait is getting to her, Lenneth agitated. Wanting to end the initial discomfort of the first taking by having it done and over with.
But it never gets easier. The awkwardness might go away, but the disgust and self loathing remain. Worsening each time Lenneth is used for sex. Sometimes she hates herself, just as she curses Odin for crafting her to be a being that is so desired. Lenneth actually glares when she sees her reflection in the floor length mirror. How she wants to ruin the perfection of her form. But a Goddess, even one as low leveled as Lenneth, cannot do any lasting damage to themselves.
She is still standing in front of the mirror when Lenneth senses his approach. There was little doubt who it could be, Lenneth recognizing the feel of his power. It was Lezard, the man here to gloat and to take from her all he wanted. Lenneth was already turning when the door opened, her eyes meeting Lezard's excited gaze. That excitement didn't lessen when he smiled, his lips conveying a keen sense of triumph. He was happy to have won, Lenneth the prize he had coveted for so long. Somehow she managed not to glare at him, Lenneth forcing her expression to be indifferent. To play as though she was unaffected by the sight of him, Lenneth an emotionless being in the moment.
It as easy to put the shields up, to seal away her emotions. The months of joy she had had, reveling in her freedom had done nothing to make old defenses forgotten. A wall was being built up inside her, Lenneth preparing to guard her heart from disappointment. Her blue eyes dulled in the process, no longer sparkling with life. She neither frowned nor smiled, Lenneth preparing herself to play unfeeling doll to him.
"Lenneth Valkyrie..." Lezard breathed out her name in a possessive purr, the man gliding towards her. Effortless grace was in his movements, Lezard's eyes devouring the sight of her. He looked hungry in the moment, a half starved man who had finally been given a worthy feast. Lenneth felt as though he was seeing through her clothes, staring at the body beneath the fabric. It almost felt obscene, to be stared at so when one was still clothed. She moved to take action, even as Lezard was speaking. "My beloved Goddess..."
"Shall I undress now?" Her words were toneless, no inflection of emotion to them. Lenneth thought to rush through this, to end some of the uncomfortableness by trying to guide some of what happened. Lezard actually paused, eyes turning a brief surprised. He seemed not to know how to respond, staring at her face as Lenneth waited for an answer.
The silence stretched out between them, the question lingering, unanswered. Lenneth began to raise her arms, fingers reaching for the straps of her dress. But before she could jerk them down, Lezard reacted. His hands were suddenly seizing her wrists, stopping her. Lenneth didn't gasp, didn't react save for looking back at him. "You want my dress to remain on then?" She asked, knowing that some times men were impatient enough to take her without either one of them disrobing completely.
Again that uncertain look. Lezard seemed unsettled by her, as though not expecting such compliance. Nor did he answer her question, uncertain eyes gazing searchingly into her own. Whatever he saw there, it made Lezard frown. "Why would you do this?" He demanded. "Why would you ask me such a thing?"
"Have I given offense?" Lenneth asked, but there was no sarcasm in her voice. She maintained that neutral feeling, eyes watching him carefully. "I merely thought to give you what you wanted."
"What I wanted?" He repeated it, confused. Her wrists were still held by his hands, a grip that hadn't turned painful yet.
"My body is what you wanted, is it not?" Lenneth questioned. "The pursuit of it is what has driven you to do the things you have done..."
"I wanted-want you!" Lezard heatedly corrected. To Lenneth there was no distinction between herself and her body. To want one, was to want the other, and men had always placed more value on her body than that which made Lenneth herself.
"Then shall I disrobe now?" Lenneth repeated her initial question, but didn't try to free herself from his grip.
Lezard's look turned frustrated. "Don't you have any questions?" He wanted to know. "Don't you want to know what I want from you? What I have planned for us both? Do you not even want to know what became of the group you traveled with?"
"If my knowing would please you..."
His eyes narrowed, the amethyst glinting with a sharp light. "I killed them." Lezard's words were spoken with a finality, leaving Lenneth with no doubt towards the truth spoken. "I let those other Valkyries' souls rot away, and I used these own hands to murder the rest of your allies."
Her walls were too built up, Lenneth managing not to react to the news. She couldn't, wouldn't feel sorrow for the loss of those lives. They weren't the first to have died because of her. She was certain they wouldn't be the last.
"You did what you had to, to win." Lenneth spoke out loud. Lezard abruptly let go of her wrists, seeming agitated and angry. His hand went to his hair, smoothing back the unruly bangs with a vicious motion.
"Yes, I did." Lezard agreed. "But I didn't expect you to take to the news so well!"
"Tell me how I am supposed to react."
"Get angry!" Lezard exclaimed. "Get indignant on their behalf. Hate me if you must, but show me something other than this indifference! This unfeeling urge to do what you think will please me!"
"Would my anger make you happy?" Her level tone had him throw up his hands in exasperation, Lezard looking like he wanted to shake some sense into Lenneth. She wasn't trying to annoy him. Truly she was just attempting to figure out the correct behavior to exhibit, to figure out what she had to do to come away with the least amount of hurt.
"I cannot be what you want, if you don't talk to me." Lenneth added when it was apparent he wasn't going to say anything more. Those words got through to him, Lezard staring, a mix of concern and upset in his eyes. He seemed aghast by what she had just said, Lezard reaching out a hand towards her face. He stopped his fingers from touching her cheek and Lenneth could not bring herself to move into that touch.
"I want that spirited Goddess back." Lezard told her. "I want the woman who had stared at me with so heated a gaze. I want the Lenneth who would speak her mind, not this subservient girl before me!"
"That Lenneth is lost." She turned from him then, her eyes catching his startled reaction inside the mirror. "No..." She quickly corrected. "That Lenneth was a lie."
"A lie?" He echoed. "What do you mean by that?"
She glanced away from his image in the mirror, staring instead at herself. The reflection Lenneth saw, showed a bland, unfeeling face, eyes weary in the moment. "A lie..." Lenneth repeated, hand raising to touch fingertips to the mirror's glass. "She came into existence only for a brief time...she was never meant to be..."
His hands were suddenly on her shoulders, the leather of his gloves warm in comparison to the chill she felt. He pressed into her back, but it wasn't a sexual advance. It felt odd, as though Lezard was trying to comfort her.
"We can find that Lenneth." He told her.
For one-second she let him hold her. And then Lenneth was pulling away. "She's lost. To me and to you." She turned to look at him, but even then she wasn't full of fire. "She can't exist you see...not like this. Not without the freedom you took from her..."
"Are you saying it's my fault?" Lezard demanded.
"I am not blaming you." Lenneth reassured him. And she wasn't. Not really. Not so long as she no longer had the energy or emotions to do so. "You are no different than any that have come before you. Wanting me. Doing everything you can to possess me."
She could see him processing this, Lezard thinking on her words. "And..." He spoke hesitantly, as if he didn't want to know the answer. "Has there been many others?"
"More than I can remember." Lenneth answered. Lezard was aghast, and would only turn more so as she continued. "The faces all tend to blur together. Names lost, the people unmemorable. It's their actions I recall, their hidden depravities and abuse..." She stopped, watching the anger burn in his eyes. He was bothered by what she had said, and yet Lezard apparently had a morbid need to understand what had been done to her.
"What have they done to you?"
"What haven't they done?" Lenneth countered, then took a step forward. "This body is used..." Her hands began caressing over her breasts, Lezard's eyes following that seductive movement. "I was created to be a slave...to play victim to my master's many desires. Odin himself made sure I was of pleasing form. He went well above his expectations, crafting a woman who would be coveted by so many...I've been many things, to many different beings. What will I be to you besides the obvious?"
He looked up at her as he answered, maintaining a seriousness that was surprising. "I would love you."
She had no concept of love beyond the physical use of her body. "You want to have sex with me." She corrected.
"I want to make love to you!" Lezard corrected, and Lenneth shrugged. It was all the same to her, Lenneth not reacting even as Lezard amended his statement. "I want to make love with you..."
"Nothing is stopping you from the attempt..." Lenneth pointed out. And yet he made no moved on her. Lenneth reached towards his face, caressing her fingers over his one cheek. "Does it bother you that I am virgin no more? I assure you, I can make up for that in experience. I know what men like..." Her other hand touched the front of his pants, cupping over his groin. "I know how to tease, how to please...let me show you..."
She was new to him, but the look he gave her was full of heat that was familiar to her. She had seen it in countless men and women's eyes, Lezard reacting to her touch. Her hand on his groin, felt the beginning swell of his sex but there was no triumph at arousing him. It was merely her duty, Lenneth wanting to get it over and done with.
His hand reached to cover the one touching his cheek, Lenneth staring into Lezard's eyes. Watching as another emotion burned inside. It was a jealous gleam, which surprised her.
"I'm going to make you forget those others who hurt you." Lezard told her, his voice a low but heated growl. She raised eyebrows, not realizing her look was almost challenging.
His hands reached for her, Lezard drawing Lenneth closer. Her breasts pressed against his chest, Lenneth tilting her head back to stare up at the taller man. Lezard's eyes still held tints of jealousy to them, but there was warmth there as well. A heat that seemed to smolder as he gazed down at her, Lezard bringing his face towards hers. Lenneth couldn't completely stop her reaction, eyes widening in surprise. Could he really mean to kiss her? And yet she couldn't deny the softness touching her lips, Lezard's mouth trembling over hers. In a feather light kiss that was almost as uncertain as Lenneth felt.
Eyes huge, she held herself still for the kiss, unprepared for the sheer sweetness of lips touching hers. She didn't have much experience with kissing. Her previous masters had reserved that sort of affection for true lovers, not wanting to waste such attention on a slave. They had truly treated her like a whore, using Lenneth for just her body, for the pleasure they could obtain inside it.
Lezard's grip was just this short of hurting, as though he feared Lenneth would bolt from his kiss. But she was frozen in inaction, staring at him as he continued to gently brush his lips over hers. His own eyes were closed, a sigh escaping him. Seconds would go by, and then Lezard's actions would grow bolder. Lenneth supposed it was because she hadn't jerked back, the Goddess just standing there. When Lezard's lips began to increase their demand on her, she tentatively attempted to kiss him back. But it was clumsy, almost shy. Of all the things she had been taught to do with her mouth, kissing another on the lips was dreadfully out of her realm of experience.
But not Lezard's! There was no doubt in Lenneth's mind that he had done this before. It didn't matter with who, the man turning his skills onto her with determined intent. His mouth worked to coax hers open, lips ravishing her to the point her thoughts turned muddled. Her hand was still cupping his groin, and she felt how he swelled in response to her own tentative kisses.
She didn't melt into his arms. Lenneth wasn't so inexperienced as to be undone by a kiss. But she felt him hesitate in reaction to her participation. To the slow, almost shy kisses she gave back to him. It could be considered a surrender of a different kind, and it was clear it disconcerted him. Whatever Lezard had been expected, he hadn't been ready for her to make things so easy for him.
Nor did he hesitate for long! Any reprieve she might have had, evaporated within seconds. Lezard's mouth became a hot demand, moving in hungry ways as he added tongue to the kiss. She felt his tongue glide across hers, it jolted a reaction in her. Lenneth recovered quick enough, using her own tongue to glide against Lezard's in a mimicking movement.
Her hand squeeze over his groin, Lezard responding with a growl against her lips. It was practically violent the way he had at her mouth, Lenneth staggered in place. As she stumbled, Lezard drew Lenneth as close as possible, her hand trapped between their bodies. She didn't attempt to get free, didn't try to stop squeezing his covered length. She felt the nip of his teeth on her bottom lip, the sting instantly soothed over by the lick of his tongue.
His eyes opened, and the amethyst was clouded with desire. His arms were locked tight around her, Lenneth waiting for him to take this encounter to the next natural progression. His length seemed to throb against the palm of her hand, Lezard's breath rasping out in a hard hiss. That he wanted her was no denying. She held the proof of that desire in her hand. She waited expectantly, wondering what command he would make of her. Would he order her down on he knees, force Lenneth to take him inside her mouth? Or would he insist on getting between her legs for this first time?
Lezard bowed his head, forehead touching hers. He continued to breath heavily, his eyes half lidded as he stared into Lenneth's eyes. She gazed back, her own expression nowhere as affected as Lezard's was.
"Do you want me on the bed?" Lenneth's tone was a breathy whisper. "Or would you prefer me on the floor?"
It was startling, the change that came over him. The look in his eyes hardened, much of the satisfied high leaving. His mouth turned down in an unhappy frown, Lezard stiffly letting go of her. He'd actually pry her hand off him, Lezard stepping away from her. It was confusing, Lenneth not completely understanding why he would pull away. Especially when it was clear he was aroused.
"Neither." Lezard said in a clipped tone. He adjusted his clothing, though there was no use helping the erection that strained his pants to a tighter fit.
"Then...where?" Lenneth let her confusion show. He shook his head, which made her frown. "Have I displeased you in some way?" She was sure she hadn't, judging by his body's reaction to her.
"It's nothing you are at fault with." Lezard retorted. But his tone was hardly reassuring, smile stiff and unfriendly. "You are simply a product of other's mistreatment." Lenneth couldn't even deny it, knowing the things done to her had been beyond cruel. She must have worn some kind of expression, for Lezard stepped towards her. He ran the briefest of caress over her cheek, his own expression one born of frustration. "I will prove to you I am different from those others."
"You cannot." Lenneth said with certainty. It unsettled her that Lezard spoke with just as strong a certainty, the man giving her an unhappy smile.
"I see I have my work cut out for me. But worry not, Lenneth. I will prove to you how wrong that way of thinking is." He then bowed to her, movements stiff and slow. It was clear it was costing him to walk away from her in his moment of need. But he did walk away, Lezard retreating to the door. He would cast one last look at her, and then step through its frame, leaving Lenneth to stand and stare in shocked confusion at his exit.
Well...this chapter ended up going nowhere like I first imagined. But then my friend Huntress looked over part of it, made a suggestion. Said it would do much to convince Lenneth of Lezard's sincerity if he held back from insisting on sex. As much as I wanted to write a sex scene, I think she made a good judgment call for the fic! *waves pom poms*
To Be Continued...
Michelle