"Ok, so today we have a treat: goo, with a side of - get this - orange goo." No one laughed as Hunk set down the platter of food on the table. Hunk cracked a wide smile, at least he found his own joke funny. The Yellow Paladin hummed an upbeat tune to himself as he began to spoon giant globs of the viscous nutrition paste onto individual plates. No one seemed eager to reach for their spoons, Coran and Allura included.
"Orange you say?" Coran rubbed his mustache as he studied the portion on his plate, carefully dissecting the colors from one another. "Must be a kink in the ol' food tube. I've never seen this color before." He observed as he raised a spoonful up to his nose and gave a hearty sniff. Even by Altean standards he had to admit that this food stuff was largely unappealing.
Pidge, curious to learn more braved a bite. Pidge took a long time on that first bite, slowly mashing the substance back and forth. Their eyebrow rose curiously as their tongue attempted to place the unusual flavor. Finally they swallowed and waited a solid moment, the entire table was quietly watching, waiting. When there appeared to be no ill effect a nervous smile broke across Pidge's face. "It kind of reminds me of mashed potatoes...carrot flavored mashed potatoes." The scientist struggled to find the right word to describe the taste. It wasn't exactly carrot or potato like at all, Pidge couldn't even classify the substance as a vegetable, but there was truthfully no other comparison to Earth food that they could think of.
Shiro anxiously waited a good minute after Pidge's first bite before taking a sample of his own. Closing his eyes he forced the gelatinous mix down his throat. It didn't taste anything like potatoes or carrots. "If there's one thing I miss about Earth it's a good bag of potato chips." Shiro smiled kindly as he reminisced, hoping by some strange will power to make himself believe that the food before him tasted edible. The uneasiness from the control room seemed to have followed them to the mess hall. The entire crew had decided that before starting on the ship's repairs they should sit down and take a moment to relax and eat, though perhaps eat was a strong word. Shiro felt the familiar knot in his stomach as it reacted to the second mouthful of goo.
The Yellow Paladin and self proclaimed cook paused mid bite, the spoon half ways to his lips. His dark eyes grew misty as a sudden realization came upon him. His gloved hand drooped with melancholy, the spoon nestling back into the goo mountain on his plate. Hunk looked down at his lap for a good moment, Shiro worried that perhaps he had said something wrong, when the Paladin looked back up there was a determination in his eyes. "If there was one thing I wished I could have brought with me from Earth...it would be an entire Lion full of potatoes!" He declared with a feisty smile, his nostrils flaring with excitement.
Lance, sitting to the left of his Engineer friend placed his hand on Hunk's shoulder and nodded his head in solidarity. "And then we could have all sorts of food! Potato chips! Baked potatoes! Mashed potatoes!" Hunk continued.
Lance bobbed his head in punctuation with Hunk's proclamation. "Mm-hmm, preach it brother!" After the initial shock and dramatics with his injured tongue Lance had found he could now speak normally again, although the words did smart as he spoke.
Tears began to stream from Hunk's eyes. "French Fries! Poutine!"
Lance's eye's snapped open and he removed his hand from his fellow Paladin. "Ok, you lost me. Poo what?"
Hunk tilted his head, his eyes narrowing as he glanced at his comrade in a new light. "Poutine. You know, the fries with the cheese curds and gravy?" Hunk gestured with his hefty hands in the hope that somehow a wave of his hands could convey the dish he was craving.
Lance shook his head and resigned himself to sampling some of the goo. "If I could go back to Earth and actually pack for this journey I would bring a lot more underwear. I've been innie-outie on this pair to the point that it's practically commando down there." Lance shrugged as he continued eating, blissfully unaware of the shocked stares around the table. No one felt hungry any more.
Pidge's face was frozen tightly with horror, mouth agape their glasses slid down their petite nose until they quickly reset the frames on their head. "Lance...haven't you used the laundry machine? It's right beside the showers…" Pidge couldn't exactly say they were surprised by Lance's revelation. Pidge had grown up with an elder brother, they knew what teenage boys did and smelled like. Since the adventure with Voltron had begun Pidge felt like they had gained a bunch of new older brothers, each uniquely disgusting in their own path to manhood.
"There's a shower?" Lance seemed honestly curious, Pidge could not tell if he was joking or not.
The screech of a plate being shoved across the table interrupted the hygiene discussion. "I've lost my appetite." Keith explained in a low voice as he stood, pushing the plate of untouched food away from his spot. "You said this planet had air right? I'm going out." Keith looked to the Alteans for confirmation as he stood.
"Wait just a moment." Shiro's voice rooted Keith in the doorway, the authoritative tone in his voice preparing Keith for a rebellious show down. Shiro's eyebrows laid lower over his eyes as he processed Keith's request. "You're not going...alone that is. This may not be a civilized planet but we don't know what's out there. You could get hurt or lost. Take Lance."
Green and orange globs of goo spewed across the table as Lance all but choked on his meal. "Why me?" His voice cracked with distress as he felt the color drain from his face. Even Lance for all his emotional ineptitude could sense that Keith was not in a good mood, and he did not fancy being in close proximity to that sour attitude. It was no fun to joke with someone who was on the breaking point of furious.
Keith agreed. "Why him?" Keith was still hopeful that Shiro would change his mind and let the Red Paladin explore on his own, but when Shiro made that disapproving face there was no swaying his resolve.
"It will certainly keep him out of the way as we make repairs." Coran delightfully concluded, smashing his fist into the palm of his hand as he guessed Shiro's line of thought. The Black Paladin glared at Coran. Part of being a leader was knowing when to spill the details of their thought process and when to keep silent. "After all, he is usually the least productive when we do any maintenance. Last time I caught him taking a nap in one of the cryo pods!" Coran laughed as he remembered how a paranoid Lance had believed the Castle was trying to kill him.
"Hey!" Lance tried to interject and defend his good name. He raised his spoon and pointed at Coran in an accusatory gesture.
"True, and it would prevent him from trying to prank or distract any of us doing hard work." Princess Allura wore a completely seriously look on her face, her index finger tucked under her chin as if hard at thought. The Princess was nodding her head, her silver-white hair bobbing with the motion as she agreed with the plan. "Overall I think it's for the best."
It seemed that the only people that didn't agree with the notion were the elected participants. Keith opened his mouth to protest but Shiro raised his metallic hand, pointer finger upright in a shushing motion. "Either go with Lance or don't go."
Keith balled his hands tightly into fists until he felt his fingernails bite into his flesh. This wasn't fair. He never asked to go on an intergalactic adventure. He never asked to be stuck with these people. And now all he wanted was a little fresh air to himself and they were imposing the utter moron on him? Keith glanced at Shiro. The leader's face had not moved, it was impassible, would not change. Keith's shoulders drooped as he let out a forceful sigh that sounded like a growl through his clenched teeth. "Fine. Come on, let's go." The Red Paladin turned to leave.
"What, now? Wait wait wait." Lance picked up his plate and shoveled a bit more goo down his throat as he stood to follow Keith. Pausing in the door Lance looked back at his team mates who had selected him as martyr. "If I don't return it's because Keith has murdered me." He said with deadpan sincerity.
Shiro sighed as the door closed behind them. He knew that Keith and Lance were a volatile mix, but they complimented each other in ways that they didn't recognize yet themselves. What one would watch out for the other would totally miss. Together they had a better chance of staying safe. 'Tell my Mama I love her!' Lance could be heard calling out dramatically as he walked down the hallway. Shiro cringed, but then half smiled. Things would turn out alright. Probably.