April, 105 AG
Ty Lee does not return to the house until well after dark that night. She closes the door behind her gently, so that the only sound is the soft click of the lock, and carefully picks her way across the living room and into the bedroom.
The entire point of waiting so long to return was a hope that Azula would be asleep already, that Ty Lee could lie down without waking her, and then rise early and leave for the training room before they had a chance to speak the next morning. She knows immediately, however, when she opens the bedroom door, that her plan has been foiled. Azula is seated on her bed, back pressed against the headboard and knees drawn to her chin, a small flame—the largest she is capable of producing—flickering at her fingertips. "You got blood on my face." She sounds unfairly accusatory, but so much like the Azula that Ty Lee fought a war with that she finds herself unsurprised. Then, more quietly, "I was beginning to wonder if you were going to come back."
Ty Lee doesn't answer. She steps across the floor and sink into her own bed, wrapping her arms around her body, without looking at her companion.
"Where did you go?"
Ty Lee sighs. "The beach, mostly. I thought about going to see Suki, but…"
"You didn't want to tell her what happened," Azula finishes darkly. Ty Lee can hear the self-loathing in her voice.
She nods. "I knew she would realize something was wrong. Listen," she takes a breath, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have… done what I did. I was just caught up in the moment, I guess, and I wasn't thinking."
The voices of her older sisters ring in her head. Ty Lee never thinks.
"So…" Azula's voice sounds oddly strained. "You didn't mean it."
A long pause. "I meant it," Ty Lee finally whispers. "But I never meant to do it. Especially not then. Not when you were so upset. I took advantage of you."
"You taking advantage of me?" Azula replies with a bitter snicker. "My, my, how the tables have turned."
Ty Lee is silent, willing herself not to cry. When Azula speaks again, her voice is softer, and laced with something Ty Lee cannot quite place, though it resembles fear. "Why did you run away?"
"I thought you would hate me."
"Oh," Azula replies. "Well, I don't." She sighs. "I thought you might have done it because you were disgusted with yourself."
Ty Lee looks back at Azula for the first time since that morning. "For… for k-kissing you?"
Azula nods. "I tortured one of your best friends and would have killed the other if you hadn't stopped me. It hardly seems a stretch." But she sounds hurt, nonetheless.
"Well, when you put it that way…"
Azula chuckles softly, and for a split second, Ty Lee feels like they're in a tent in the Earth Kingdom, bantering back and forth while Mai sleeps, dead to the world, not six inches away. "Look, Ty Lee, do you want to just pretend this never happened?" The moment is gone.
"And go back to the way things were?" Ty Lee asks. Azula nods. "If you do."
Azula is silent. She looks away, first at the bed, and then at the opposite wall.
"D-do you, Azula?"
It takes the Princess a long time to answer, long enough that Ty Lee is about to give up and pull the blankets over herself, resolving to feign amnesia the next morning. When she finally answers, her reply is so quiet that Ty Lee nearly misses it in the sound of her own breathing.
"No."
Ty Lee feels more awkward than she can ever remember feeling the next morning when she enters the kitchen. Azula is already there, nose inches from the piece of fruit she is slicing.
"Morning," she murmurs. It is not her usual chipper greeting, and she knows Azula notices by the way the knife stops moving, just for a second, and Azula's eyes flit up at her, but she grunts in return, just like she always does, as Ty Lee shuffles around her and reaches for a bowl to make porridge.
They don't speak until they are both seated at the table, Ty Lee poking at her food so that it will take her longer to eat.
"I never actually told you happy birthday yesterday," Ty Lee comments.
"Yes, in the midst of your sudden burst of affection, it seems we forgot," Azula replies, though she doesn't sound like she cares very much at all.
"I'm sorry." Ty Lee says. Azula shrugs. Ty Lee reaches across the table to take the Princess' free hand in hers. She laces their fingers together and watches her friend's face for a reaction, testing the waters. Azula's eyes drop to their hands, and Ty Lee can feel her tense, waits for her to extricate herself, but then she feels her relax, and their eyes meet again. Ty Lee breaths. "I was thinking maybe we should do something tonight instead."
"I am not having a party."
Ty Lee rolls her eyes. "I don't mean a party. I mean we should do something. Just the two of us. As a… couple?" Another test. She studies her companion closely.
"A couple," Azula breaths. She is silent for a moment, like she is allowing it all to sink in (Ty Lee can relate). Then she narrows her eyes. "What kind of something?"
"Relax," Ty Lee chuckles. "It'll be fun."
Not much has changed since Ty Lee and Azula became a couple. They hold hands sometimes (always initiated by Ty Lee), and they invade each other's personal space more often (always initiated by Ty Lee), but on the whole, they don't behave any differently toward each other. Ty Lee is afraid of overwhelming Azula, and Azula was never an affectionate person to begin with.
Ty Lee does not tell anyone about her change in relationship status. In part, it is because the idea that Azula returns her sentiments seems too good to be true, and she is positive that if she breaths a word of it, she will wake up and find that it was all a dream, and in part because she is, admittedly, afraid of their reactions. Even if Azula wasn't Azula, she would still be a woman, and only Mai is aware of Ty Lee's inclination towards women so far. She has always been strangely supportive of her infatuation with Suki, but Ty Lee has never been sure if she is merely trying to be supportive, or she does it because watching Ty Lee pine amuses her.
Mai visits again the weekend after Azula's birthday, this time with Zuko in tow. He seems harried and distracted, but he greets Ty Lee with a smile and a hug, and Azula with a stiff pat on the shoulder, that Ty Lee thinks is equally awkward for everyone involved.
Ty Lee has requested the day off. She feels bad about it, because she knows her absence will stretch the Kyoshi Warriors even thinner and that Suki will not feel like she can say no to anything in which the Fire Lord is involved. They walk around the island, which they have always done when Zuko and Mai visited Ty Lee, because Zuko rarely has time to relax, and Ty Lee suspects he might find the gentle rushing of the waves therapeutic. Azula manages to look bored the entire time, but they trail far enough behind Zuko and Mai on the deserted beach that Ty Lee feels comfortable taking Azula's hand, and Azula, who is twice as skittish about showing affection of any kind, allows it.
Ty Lee and Azula have not talked about it, but it is clear that neither of them is ready to spread the word about their fledgling relationship. They sit on opposite ends of the couch (admittedly still not very far apart) when they all return to the house, and Ty Lee resists the urge to make a grab for Azula's hand when the conversation turns, as it always does, to Mai and Zuko's prolonged engagement, or to rest her head on Azula's shoulder as the clock strikes eleven and she stifles a yawn.
Zuko hugs Ty Lee again when they leave, promises they'll see each other tomorrow. Mai allows Ty Lee to hug her, and fixes her with a searching look that makes her uncomfortable and leaves her feeling exposed. And then the door closes and they are alone.
Ty Lee seizes Azula's arm and presses a kiss to her cheek, ignoring the way her friend tenses at the small amount of physical contact. "I think that went well."
"Mai knows," Azula comments.
Ty Lee leans back to study her. "What?"
"Didn't you see the way she was looking at us?"
"Well… yes." Ty Lee sighs. She is honestly not surprised. Mai has always had the uncanny ability to size a person up without so much as talking to them. She suspects it might the be reason Azula chose her to begin with.
"We don't have to keep doing this," Azula informs her. "We can end it."
Ty Lee's eyes widen. "Why would we do that?" Azula shrugs.
Ty Lee plants her hand on the back of Azula's neck, slides it up through her hair, and angles her head so that their lips meet. The kiss lasts longer than the first, is deeper, and when they part, they are both panting. Azula still looks terrified by this new thing between them. Ty Lee is too, though she is much better at concealing it. "We're not doing that," she adds, voice forceful, resolved, and the corners of Azula's lips twitch into a smile.
May, 105 AG
Aang and Katara are married when they are seventeen and nineteen, respectively. They are a little young, even in Ty Lee's opinion. But, she realizes, they are older than Zuko was when he became Fire Lord, and they have been a steady couple—much more stable than either Suki and Sokka or Mai and Zuko—for almost five years now.
Ty Lee does not attend the wedding. She has never been very close to either Aang or Katara, having tried to kill them both on multiple occasions, though she thinks she might have at least received an invitation, had that not been practically synonymous with inviting Azula. Mai and Zuko are there, of course, and Suki is gone from Kyoshi Island for two weeks. Luckily, the wedding takes place in the South Pole. If they had decided on Republic City, like, according to Suki, Aang wanted, it would have been much longer.
Ty Lee is left in charge, even though many of the girls have been around longer than she has, but no one disputes the decision. Ty Lee has been Suki's de facto lieutenant for years now. Unfortunately, this means longer hours. Ty Lee quickly finds that she has been underestimating the amount of extra work Suki does for the same pay. It must be a calling.
She decides not to leave Azula alone. If not for what happened on Azula's birthday, she would have considered it, but the nightmares have been more frequent in the month since, and Ty Lee is not taking any chances.
"I'm not going," Azula protests as Ty Lee attempts to forcibly drag her out of bed. Ty Lee is taller than Azula now, and she has spent nearly five years training as a warrior, and a year as an acrobat even before that, but Azula has a sturdier build, and even though she is no longer at her peak, her grip is locked on the headboard of her bed. "I do not need to be babysat."
"We've been over this, Azula," Ty Lee grunts as she adjusts her own grip on Azula's other wrist. Really, the whole scene would be rather comical if not for the fact that Ty Lee has to leave early to pick up the day's assignments on her way to the training room, and she is already running late. "I am not leaving you and that's that."
"If you say so," Azula replies, and Ty Lee can't help but feel annoyed at how bored she sounds. "But I can stay like this all day. You have to go to work, eventually."
Ty Lee hates her for being right.
"Don't make me block your chi," Ty Lee threatens between clenched teeth, unsure if she really means it.
"Don't make me use my bending," Azula retorts.
Ty Lee laughs. "Your bending could barely give me a sunburn." Even to her own ears, it sounds crueler than she intended.
Suddenly, Ty Lee is on her back, on the ground, Azula on top of her, pinning her shoulders and snarling. Her eyes are narrow and cold and full of hate, and Ty Lee hasn't seen them quite like that since Azula nearly killed Mai on the roof of the Boiling Rock. And then they're not anymore. They're wide and scared, and Azula is scampering off of her, scampering backwards like a frightened animal until her shoulders hit the bedframe with a hard thunk.
Ty Lee picks herself up and leans back against the frame of her own bed. Azula is staring at her expectantly, and Ty Lee realizes that she is waiting for Ty Lee to tell her their relationship is over, waiting to be evicted from the house, waiting to be sent back the Fire Nation.
Ty Lee straights her headpiece and looks up at her companion. "You are going to come to work with me," she commands in as determinedly even a voice as she thinks she has ever spoken. "I shouldn't have said what I did about your bending. That was a low blow." She pushes herself to a stand and readjusts her armor. "Be ready in three minutes." And she is gone.
"Ty Lee, how many people have you kissed?"
The question takes Ty Lee by surprise. They are leaning against opposite arms of the couch facing each other, Ty Lee divvying up the next day's assignments, and Azula… writing something. They are nearing the end of Ty Lee's short tenure as head of the Kyoshi Warriors. So far, Azula has accompanied her every day without further incident, but Ty Lee can tell that it makes her uncomfortable. She never liked people very much anyway. The other girls have gotten used to her presence on the island, even her presence in and around any social function that Ty Lee attends, but they still eye her with suspicion. They still don't speak to her when they can help it.
Honestly, Ty Lee doesn't blame them.
Honestly, she doesn't think Azula does either.
"Hmm," Ty Lee thinks for a moment, tapping her chin with her index finger. "I don't know. Why do you ask?"
"You don't know?" Azula raises her eyebrows in surprise. "Really?"
"Mmhm," Ty Lee replies with a nod of her head. "You do?"
"Of course, I do," Azula answers. "It's really not that uncommon. I don't think."
"Well, there were a couple of guys when we were at school," Ty Lee recalls. "And then there were some guys I met when I was with the circus—"
"Circus performers?"
"No, guys who came to watch the show. And then there were these two guys in Ba Sing Se," she continues. "And that party on Ember Island."
"No one since?" Azula asks.
"No… well, not until…" she gestures toward Azula.
"Oh." Azula shrugs. "I thought maybe Suki—"
Ty Lee laughs. "No, Suki's been madly in love with Sokka since long before I met her. You know that. It must have come up at the Boiling Rock."
Azula stiffens for a moment, and then she relaxes and a smile that is almost predatory blooms across her face. "Much to your dismay."
"Azula!" Ty Lee leans forward to slap her on the knee. "Well, what about you? How many people have you kissed?" Though she is pretty sure she already knows the answer. Azula drops her eyes and shrugs. "Come on, Azula!" Ty Lee protests. "I told you!"
She sighs. "Three."
"Three?" Ty Lee's eyes widen. "Well, me, of course." She counts it off on her fingers. "And, let me guess, Lok?" Azula looks taken aback, but she nods. "And… who else? Mai?"
"Mai?" It is the most genuine laugh Ty Lee has heard from Azula since her betrayal nearly five years ago.
"So… not Mai," she replies. "Well, I don't know! Who else would have kissed you?"
Azula narrows her eyes. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Just that you didn't really get out much, Princess," Ty Lee answers. "And when you did, you were usually busy conquering people." Her eyes widen. "Tell me it's not Zuko."
"Zuko?" Azula nearly falls off the couch, and Ty Lee struggles to suppress a laugh as she reaches forward to steady her friend—girlfriend.
"I always thought you guys had kind of a weird relationship." She leans forward. "So, who was it?"
Azula folds her arms in front of her chest. "I don't think I want to tell you now."
"Oh, come on, Azula!" Ty Lee cries. "The suspense is killing me."
"Good." She raises an eyebrow and grins wickedly. "That's the point."
"Come on, Azula," she repeats, pushing herself into a kneel and leaning over Azula's knees.
"What are you doing?" Azula asks, her voice increasing in volume, as she tries to follow Ty Lee with her eyes.
"You'll see," Ty Lee sings. Her mouth latches on to the base of Azula's jaw, and she can feel the other girl jump in surprise.
"Are you trying to seduce the answer out of me?"
Ty Lee withdrawals her mouth with a pop, long enough to answer, "You seduced Ba Sing Se away from Long Feng. Imagine what I can do." She slides lower, "with all of my superior experience," down to the Princess' neck.
"It was a boy from that party on Ember Island," Azula says too quickly.
Ty Lee pulls away to look at her. "That was fast." She furrows her brow. "Are you okay?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Because," Ty Lee answers. "I've never seen you surrender so easily. I've never seen you surrender at all, actually. Azula," she reaches to lay a hand on the side of her girlfriend's neck. She swats it away. "What's wrong."
Azula's eyebrows her pressed down like she is angry, but Ty Lee does not think it is directed at her. "Nothing," she snaps. "I'm fine."
"Lying doesn't suit you," Ty Lee comments. "You used to be much better at it."
Azula sighs. She fixes her eyes on the back of the couch, and then she tilts her head to the side and pulls the collar of her shirt down to her shoulder. Ty Lee gasps. She had assumed that the wrinkled scar that crept up the side of Azula's neck was from a bad cut, maybe accidental when wondering through the woods, or a result of the scuffle during the escape from Omashu. It is a burn scar, and it stretches down her neck, across her shoulder and disappears down her chest and arm under the shirt.
"There." Azula covers herself back up again. "Are you happy?" Her voice cracks on the last word and she will not look at Ty Lee.
"Where did it come from?" she murmurs.
"The Sun Warriors," Azula mutters. "I told you, I lost."
"So, you just didn't want me to see it?" Ty Lee asks, sitting back on her heels. "Azula, I don't care."
"I care." She brings her knees closer to her chest. She still will not look at Ty Lee.
Suki returns two days later. For, Ty Lee, it is not soon enough.
She greets her friend as she steps off the ship. "How was the South Pole?"
"Cold," Suki answers with a smile. Her eyes scan the crowd. "What, no Azula?"
"I'll explain when we get back to your house," Ty Lee replies. "So tell me about you and Sokka. How are you guys?"
By the time they reach Suki's front door, Ty Lee has learned all about the turmoil in Republic City between Earth Nation refugees and Fire Nation citizens evicted from the colonies. She has also learned that Katara purportedly threw the bouquet directly at Suki, making her attempt to dive out of the way very apparent. "Sokka took it pretty well," she explains. "He knows we're not getting married anytime soon. His sister was another story."
"But you do still want to marry him," Ty Lee clarifies.
"Of course," Suki answers. "I just wish that didn't require one of us to give up our lives. Neither of us is ready to do that yet. So what about you?" she asks as they enter the living room. "How have the girls been?"
"We had a close call with a bad batch of bananas delivered about a week ago," Ty Lee answers. "But Yani and Kiko handled it well. You would have been proud."
"Really?" Suki laughs. "It was that slow the entire time? Usually we start seeing close calls with the Unagi around this time of year."
"It was really that slow," Ty Lee sighs.
"Well," Suki replies, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure you did a great job."
"Azula and I are together."
Ty Lee doesn't know what makes her say it. She had been planning on telling Suki that she and Azula had had a fight, because she needed advice and she certainly wasn't telling Mai. Not about this. But she'd been planning on leaving out the extent of the relationship.
Suki retracts her hand and narrows her eyes. "Together… how exactly?"
Well, Ty Lee realizes, there is no going back now. "You know, like… together."
"Yes, I got that much." She sighs as she sinks down onto the couch. "Together like Sokka and I are together?"
"Well," Ty Lee thinks for a moment. "Not quite. I mean we haven't—"
Suki holds up a hand. "I don't need to know." She pinches the bridge of her nose. "Wow, Ty, that's…"
"Unexpected?" Ty Lee volunteers.
"Among other things." Her friend's voice is weak and maybe even a little sad.
"You're not happy about this."
Suki hesitates. "Of course I'm not, Ty. What did you expect?"
"This," Ty Lee sighs as she drops into the chair opposite Suki. She feels completely defeated. "That's why I waited a month and a half to tell you."
"A month and a half?" Suki repeats faintly. She looks like she might pass out. Ty Lee is glad she is already sitting. "So, this isn't new?"
"It kind of still is."
Suki is silent for a while, and then she looks up and Ty Lee is shocked to find her eyes glistening. "Ty Lee, I need you to go."
"What?" she breaths. Her eyes widen.
"I need you to go. I'm sorry," Suki repeats. "I can't be around you right now. I need to think."
"But, Suki—"
"I need to think," she interrupts. "We'll… we'll talk tomorrow, okay?"
Ty Lee hangs her head. "Sure." And she is gone.
Ty Lee has always found the sound of waves soothing. It was why she loved Ember Island so much. It was the first thing that endeared Kyoshi Island to her, made her feel at home. There were no waves in the Earth Kingdom. Ty Lee wonders if she loved Azula back then. She cannot remember. Surely, if she did, she would be able to remember. Surely she wouldn't have flirted with Sokka, tried to teach Azula how to flirt. She must not have, she decides.
She remembers the exact moment she first realized she was falling for Suki. It had been terrifying. There had only ever been boys before. Well, there had been a schoolgirl crush on Mai of all people, but she had long since told herself that she was simply confused and pushed it from her mind. She was only about ten. It hadn't been hard. Suki was the first girl she'd ever really fallen for, maybe even the first person she'd ever really fallen for, though there was a boy she met when the circus was near Gaoling whom she thinks might count. She had only been thirteen at the time, so it really was hard to say.
They were about a year into their stint as the Fire Lord's personal guard. Azula's disappearance was still recent. Suki and Ty Lee did not normally have the same days off, because they were the best, and even then, everyone knew it, but someone had been sick that week, and Suki had been forced to change the schedule at the last minute. They rose early and walked through Capital City as the sun was rising (Ty Lee doesn't think there is anything more beautiful than a sunrise over the Fire Nation). They trekked down to the beach and listened to the waves and watched the Gates of Azulon light up.
"It's been hard being away from home," Suki admitted, hugging her knees to her chest and shivering. Ty Lee had never understood how she could possibly be cold in the Fire Nation after growing up so close to the South Pole. "Thank you for sharing some of yours with me."
And she hugged Ty Lee.
And Ty Lee knew.
It was all incredibly confusing. She was sad and happy and angry and ashamed all at the same time. And warm. She was warm because Suki was warm. And then Suki let go, and she was disappointed. And then she remembered Sokka and she was heartbroken. That hadn't stopped her from spending two and a half years loving Suki, but she'd always known it was a lost cause.
And now her entire relationship with Suki is up in the air, and her relationship with Azula might be too, and she just wants to curl up right here on the beach and fall asleep and not wake up for a while. She wants to talk to Mai. She wants to talk to Suki. She wants Azula to talk to her.
A tear rolls down her cheek and she makes no move to stop it. She wonders if, in her cottage less than a mile away, Suki is crying too.
"I wondered where you were."
Ty Lee jumps and jerks her head around. "How did you find me?"
"You said this was where you came after you kissed me." Azula's lips twitch, but she does not smile. "I thought it would be a good place to start." She smoothes the sand beside Ty Lee with her foot before sinking into it. "You haven't been home in a while."
"I was there this morning," Ty Lee points out.
Azula frowns. "You left before I woke up."
"Why does it matter?" Ty Lee sniffles. "You're barely talking to me anyway." She brushes away a tear with the heel of her hand, because there is something about crying in front of Azula that still makes her feel inferior. Even though they have both seen the other cry.
"What's wrong?" Azula's voice is suddenly urgent, angry, and Ty Lee realizes she must not have been fast enough.
"Everything's messed up."
"What's messed up, Ty Lee."
She feels a tentative hand on her back. Azula does not rub or pat. She merely plants her hand there, trembling. "I told Suki we were together," she admits.
She can hear Azula's clench her teeth. "Why?"
"I… needed someone to talk to," she answers. "About you. About how you were angry at me, and I don't know what I even did."
"You asked for relationship advice from someone I once tortured?" Azula speaks slowly, like she is sure she is wrong.
"Yes." And Ty Lee can't believe it hadn't occurred to her. Ty Lee never thinks.
"And, let me guess, she took it poorly."
Ty Lee nods. She buries her head in her knees, and she can still feel Azula's hand on her back. Still trembling. She can feel it twitch, like maybe Azula is considering hugging her, but if she is, she decides against it.
"She'll come around."
"How do you know?"
"Because," Azula answers, and Ty Lee thinks she can hear a smile in her voice. "It's impossible to stay angry at you."
Ty Lee looks up at her companion. "Are you still?"
Azula shakes her head. "I never was."
"But you wouldn't even look at me," Ty Lee argues.
"I was…" Azula hesitates, takes a breath. When she speaks again, her voice is strained, like she is forcing herself to speak. "I was ashamed. I lost a battle. Badly. That scar is a mark of my failure."
"Azula," Ty Lee replies. "If you'd gotten your bending back, you'd have gone straight back to who you were. A manipulator, a conqueror, but someone who was never sure if she really had any friends." Her lips turn up in a smile that catches her tears. "That scar is a mark of your humanity."
Azula nods and looks out toward the water, and Ty Lee does not think she really believes her.
"So, are we… okay?"
"Yes," Azula replies.
"Good," Ty Lee answers, throwing her arms around her and pulling her close enough that their heads bump together and reveling in the fact that Azula does not immediately push her away. "Because I really need someone to like me right now."
Ty Lee is late for work the next morning. If she is being honest with herself, it is not entirely unintentional. Of course, Azula had flipped a half-baked pancake onto the floor and had been at a loss for how to clean it up when Ty Lee walked into the kitchen that morning, but she hadn't exactly been rushed in the first place. Truth be told, she is happy to have the excuse.
Her hope is that, by the time she arrives, Suki will be gone with the rest of the Kyoshi Warriors, already on her assignment, but, as she discovers when she enters the training room, that is not the case.
"About time you showed up." Despite her words, her eyebrows are curved up and her voice shakes.
"Oh, yeah." Ty Lee rubs the back of her neck. "A-Azula spilled some pancake batter all over the kitchen floor, and it was kind of a mess." And there are still a lot of basic household tasks that Azula has no idea how to do.
"I see." Suki sighs.
They are silent for a while, and then Ty Lee speaks. "I understand why you're so angry at me."
"And why's that?"
"Because I'm supposed to be your friend." Her eyes are fixed on the ground. "And I'm… well, I'm with someone who did something horrible to you." She doesn't look back up, but she can hear Suki shift. "When I told you, well, I guess I just forgot."
"Lucky you," Suki answers coolly.
"I'm not going to apologize for finally finding someone who actually likes me back" Ty Lee continues. "But I'm sorry about what she did to you."
"Are you sure she's not playing you?" Suki asks the question quickly, like she is afraid that if she doesn't do it now, she never will. "It's not exactly like she hasn't done that kind of thing before."
"Never to me," Ty Lee replies. "She might have intimidated me into doing what she wanted, but she never lied. Not about anything that really mattered." Azula had intentionally done something to hurt her feelings one time, and she'd gone back on it immediately.
"And she treats you okay?" Suki raises her eyebrows.
"Better than she treats anyone else."
"That's not the same thing."
"Yes, Suki," Ty Lee answers. "She treats me fine."
"And you're happy."
"Yeah." Ty Lee nods her head, slowly at first, but then she gains momentum. "Yeah, I am."
"I'm never going to trust her." Suki sighs. "We're never going to be friends."
"I'm not asking you to," Ty Lee replies. "I just want you to be my friend."
Suki looks at war with herself for a moment. Ty Lee can see her suck on her cheek. Then finally, "Of course I'll still be your friend."
July, 105 AG
Ty Lee did not celebrate her nineteenth birthday. She'd been in the Fire Nation at the time, picking up Azula. Everyone had been stressed and worried and exhausted. The mood hadn't been right. It was the first year she hadn't celebrated since she turned fifteen in the Boiling Rock. Even then, Mai had drawn her a cake in the dirt that covered the concrete of the prison yard, and she'd pretended to blow out the candles. Last year it hadn't even been acknowledged, not even by Mai, who always remembered, who had always reminded Azula when they were at school, so that she could pretend she remembered too. Ty Lee had almost been offended, but when she'd arrived at dinner, she'd taken one look at the dark bags under Mai's eyes, the scrapes on her knuckles that Ty Lee was sure were from preventing Azula from putting her own fists through the wall, and she had understood.
This year, as if she is trying to make up for it, Mai arrives on Kyoshi Island two days before dressed in her Fire Nation finest. Ty Lee almost wonders if she has become the Fire Lady without telling anyone. She sweeps off the ship with all the elegance Ty Lee expects from someone so close to becoming royalty, and Ty Lee wraps her in a hug with as much elegance as anyone expects from someone who spent a year in the circus.
Zuko steps off the ship behind her. Ty Lee notices that Azula avoids his eye. She definitely hadn't done that last time.
"Do you remember the year you were with the circus?" Mai asks. The living room is crowded. Ty Lee only owns a couch and one chair, so she and Suki have hauled in her rickety kitchen chairs.
"I know I pay you enough for decent furniture," Suki comments.
"You keep forgetting," Ty Lee reminds her. "I'm supporting someone else now."
"Yes." Ty Lee is laughing. "I sent you that letter in Omashu."
"You said, we're ten miles away, come see us," Mai remembers. "No mention of how I was actually supposed to get there."
"What did you do?" Zuko asks, leaning forward in interest, and Ty Lee is surprised he has not heard this story before.
"I stole one of my father's camel elephants and I snuck out." She shrugs. "They were busy cooing over Tom-Tom. No one ever cared where I was. It wasn't hard." She turns to Ty Lee. "And I wouldn't have missed your birthday."
"It's true." Ty Lee nods, turning to Suki. "She's been there every years since we met, when we were…"
"Eight." It is the first time Azula has spoken since Suki arrived. "At the Royal Fire Nation Academy for girls. I was seven. You were both eight." She takes a sip of her tea.
"Wow," Suki comments. "I'm not still friends with anyone I knew when I was that young."
"Perhaps some of us simply have more to offer."
Ty Lee is not entirely sure how Azula means that, so she settles for laughing nervously. Then Suki frowns, and Ty Lee remembers that she lost most of her social status, and, by extension, the respect of all of her peers, when her parents died, and she snaps her mouth shut.
Of course, Azula doesn't know that.
Ty Lee is not quite sure if it would have made a difference.
"Well." Zuko stands up. "On that note, I'm going back to the ship for the night. Mai?"
She waves her hand. "You go. We have a lot of catching up to do, here."
Zuko nods at each of them in turn, which is just a little unnecessary, in Ty Lee's opinion, and probably something he's picked up in his time as Fire Lord, before exiting.
"So," Mai says, shifting her weight to lean on the arm of the couch and raising an eyebrow in a way that tells Ty Lee that Mai knows more than she is supposed to, and she knows it. "The two of you, huh?"
"What?" Azula snaps. "How dare you insinuate—"
"Relax." Mai rolls her eyes. "I've known for months."
Ty Lee lowers her eyes. "Oh." Azula is quickly growing as red as the clothing she used to wear back in the Fire Nation.
"Does my brother know?" Her voice is barely a whisper, and it sounds so desperate that Ty Lee turns to her in shock.
"No," Mai answers. "I kept your secret. But it wasn't easy, believe me." She looks vaguely annoyed. Azula looks relieved. Suki just looks uncomfortable. "Oh, I'm sorry," Mai says, a subtle smile playing at her lips, and Ty Lee thinks that she is probably not sorry at all. "Did you two want to take the couch? We don't mind if you cuddle."
"I am perfectly fine right here," Azula huffs, pushing herself farther into her chair pointedly.
Mai shrugs. "Thought I'd offer." But her eyes flit to Ty Lee, gauging her reaction to the rejection. Ty Lee is not disappointed. She'd known Azula would say no. Shows of affection when they are alone still make Azula slightly uncomfortable.
Ty Lee excuses herself to make more tea, and Mai follows her into the kitchen. "What is it really like, dating her?"
"I wouldn't say dating," Ty Lee replies. "We never go out. Not as a couple." She sighs. "It's… tricky."
"Well, I can't say I envy you," Mai says, glancing back over her shoulder into the living room, as Ty Lee fills the kettle with water. "For more reasons than one."
"I wouldn't either."
"At least you're finally over Suki though," she adds. "That was getting a little hard to watch."
"The relationship would have been easier," Ty Lee admits, even though she feels terrible say it.
"Well, nothing is easy when Azula's involved."
"Except for conquering the world," she replies.
"Yeah." Mai's smile is faint. It might just be a trick of the light. "Except for that."
"I mean, Azula's just… just infuriating sometimes," Ty Lee continues. "One time she just wouldn't talk to me. For days. And I had no idea why. And when I… when I try to touch her, she just goes all stiff. I mean, we've been together three months. How far had you and Zuko gotten in three months?"
"Well, three months after Zuko and I started dating, he was palling around with the Avatar and I was in prison," Mai answers. "But we kind of jumped into things pretty quickly." She shrugs. "Everything moves faster during a war. And Zuko was a lot more… in touch with his feelings." She rolls her eyes. "He can be such a drama queen sometimes."
"Well, he has to make up for the fact that you never talk about your feelings ever," Ty Lee points out. It is nice to have Mai here. Ty Lee cannot talk about these things with Suki. This is the first thing Ty Lee has not been able to talk about with Suki. Plus, she and Mai have been through much more. They know each other as well as they've ever known anyone.
"Remember my birthday the year we were in prison?" she asks. "You made me that cake in the dirt?"
Mai groans. "Once I'd finished crying about Zuko long enough."
Ty Lee remembers well, because, in seven years of knowing each other, it had only been the fourth time in her life she'd seen her friend cry, and it had been very unnerving. But she pushes the memories from her head and pastes a smile back on her face. "I think we both did our fair share of crying in prison."
Mai sighs and glances back through the doorway into the living room, where Azula is examining her nails while Suki is trying to look anywhere except at Azula without making it obvious that she is doing exactly that. "I wish you had ended up with Suki," she comments. "I wouldn't have to worry so much."
"I'm fine." Ty Lee pulls the kettle and places it on the tray. "Azula's the one you should be worried about." Mai just shrugs and looks skeptical. "We'd better get back in there," Ty Lee adds. "I think if we wait any longer, the tension in that room will be so thick Suki will be able to cut it with one of her fans."
"Did you really cry?"
They are the first words out of Azula's mouth after Mai and Suki leave for the night.
"What?"
"In prison," Azula demands. "Did you cry?"
"How much of that conversation did you hear?" Ty Lee gasps, her eyes growing wide.
Azula shrugs. "All of it. You really must learn to lower your voice when you're talking about someone."
"Oh, Azula," she replies. "I'm so sorry."
Azula shrugs again. Her gaze drifts to the window. "There are worse things you could have said about me."
"Did Suki hear me?" Ty Lee whispers.
"What, that you cried?" Azula lets out a short laugh. "I doubt it matters. There is absolutely no chance that you cried more than she did." She looks back at Ty Lee and her smile falls. "No, I think she was too busy trying not to catch my eye," she amends quickly.
It is too late. Ty Lee crosses her arms and fixes Azula with a look that she imagines probably reminds her friend of Ursa. "You know, you might not be killing people anymore, but you're still not a very nice person."
She waits, but Azula does not reply. Finally, she sighs loudly and turns to leave the kitchen.
"Wait!" But Ty Lee continues walking, through the doorway into the living room, past the couch, hand outstretched for the front door. "I cried."
Ty Lee stops in her tracks. It's more the surprise than anything. Surprise and interest. She turns her head, hand still on the doorknob. "What?"
Azula is standing in the doorway of the kitchen, staring over Ty Lee's shoulder at the wall. "I've cried."
"I know you've cried, Azula. I've seen it." The morning after her mother left. One inexplicable evening when Azula was twelve. That night on Ember Island. The morning Ty Lee first kissed her. She shakes her head and turns back toward the door. She knows it is probably as good an apology as she will ever get from Azula. She can only remember one time in her life when the Princess said anything even marginally similar to I'm sorry. Ironically, she had been crying. She could probably feign tears and extort an apology now, but it's just not worth it.
"I cried while you were in prison," Azula admits. "Regularly."
Ty Lee shrugs. "Well, considering you were the one who put us there—"
"And when my father informed me I wouldn't be accompanying him to the Earth Nation—"
"Because you were missing out on a genocide—"
"And when I was chained to that grate in the courtyard—"
"Because Zuko beat you—"
"Because I was humiliated," Azula exclaims, her voice cracking on the last word.
"Yes." Ty Lee removes her hand from the doorknob and crosses her arms, eyebrows raised. "I imagine that's how Suki felt."
"She was strong," Azula comments, eyes roaming the living room, anywhere except for Ty Lee. "She might have cried, she might have begged for death, but she never gave up the Avatar."
"Because Suki is a good person." Ty Lee's voice is sharp, and Azula's expression drops as she comprehends the implication.
Ty Lee has decided she is not going to leave tonight. She isn't sure where she'd been planning on going anyway. Hands still folded over her chest, she stalks to the bedroom and climbs into her bed facing the wall. After a while, she hears Azula enter the room and crawl into her own bed, but they do not speak.
When Ty Lee wakes up the following morning, she is unsurprised to see Azula's bed already empty, but stunned to hear voices floating in from the kitchen. She quickly determines that there are, in fact, two voices, and Azula is not having a relapse and talking to her father. She knows it cannot be Mai. She has always mocked Ty Lee for rising with the sun, and nearly being the Fire Lady has not changed that.
Suki is sitting at her kitchen table when Ty Lee emerges from the bedroom, a bowl of unevenly cut vegetables in front of her, looking extremely nervous.
"…and he was as angry at me as I'd ever seen him when I returned unable to deliver news of my brother's death," Azula is saying, though Ty Lee cannot see her, perched on a chair at the other end of the table, without a plate of vegetables but looking equally uncomfortable, until she crosses the threshold. "And that was saying something, considering how upset he was after Zuko managed to evade me at the Boiling Rock."
"Suki," Ty Lee says. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, um, Azula stopped by this morning and mentioned that she thought we needed to talk, and then she, umm," Suki picks up a slightly shredded piece of something green, "offered to make me breakfast."
"Okay, can I talk to you?" Her eyes flit to Azula. "Alone."
"Of course." Suki excuses herself from the table, where Azula still sits, eyebrows deeply furrowed, and follows Ty Lee through the living room and out the front door.
"What did she do?"
"What?"
"What did she do?" Ty Lee repeats.
"Well, like I said, she stopped by my house this morning and said we needed to talk," Suki recalls. "And I, of course, said no, and then she told me it was about you. She said you were upset. And she offered to make me breakfast if I went with her, and you know how much I hate cooking, so I went. Little did I know, she isn't any better. I guess I probably should have seen that coming." Suki sighs. "Anyway, she told me the two of you had some sort of fight."
"It wasn't really a fight," Ty Lee answers. "I'm just angry at her."
"Right, well, I was expecting her to just ask me to talk to you or something. You know, fix it."
Ty Lee nods. "That's not what happened?"
"No, it's not. She, umm," Suki rubs the back of her neck. "She apologized to me."
"She did what?" Ty Lee knows Azula has to have heard her from in the kitchen. In fact, the entire village probably heard her, but she doesn't much care at the moment.
"Yeah, she said she knew I was important to you, and that I cared about you—"
Ty Lee cannot believe what she is hearing, but she makes a mental note to ask Azula some question only she knows the answer to when they go back inside, just to make sure it's really her. "Don't tell me she told you she wanted to be friends."
"I believe what she said is that we should try to be civil to each other," Suki replies.
Azula is still seated at the kitchen table when they reenter the house. She is clearly trying to look casual, lounged against the wall, arms cross comfortably over her chest, but her rapidly tapping foot and the fact that she sits up a little too quickly when she sees them give her away.
Suki sits back down at the table to pick at her bowl of vegetables, and Ty Lee comes to a stop beside Azula's chair. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Azula look up at her, but she doesn't return the gaze. Then, she feels hesitant fingers brush her own, where it rests at her side. When she does pull away, the fingers wrap themselves around hers, and Azula pulls at her hand until Ty Lee feels Azula's cheek against the back of her palm. Azula holds her there, and Ty Lee looks down at her. Her eyes are wide and nervous, and she looks like she is awaiting judgment, which, Ty Lee realizes, she is. And then Ty Lee smiles at her, and she smiles back.
It is the most intimate gesture Azula has ever initiated.
September, 105 AG
Ty Lee knows she is in trouble when Mai arrives.
She'd woken up eight days ago feeling weak. She'd had a cough, and Azula had wrinkled her nose and told her to keep away from her breakfast. She'd rolled her eyes and left for the training house without eating anything. She'd lost nearly all her sparring matches that day, and at lunch, Suki had pulled her aside and asked her if she was okay. Ty Lee had told her the truth. She was tired. She had a cough. She would be fine tomorrow.
She'd thought she was telling the truth.
The next morning there had been chills. They came on suddenly and left her shivering and drenched in a cold sweat. Azula had looked at her with concern in her eyes, but she had not said a word when Ty Lee, once again, left for work.
She'd made it half way through the morning.
She had been sparring with Kiko, who was relatively new and not yet a skilled fighter, but Ty Lee had been struggling. Only minutes into the fight, she'd found herself gasping for breath between hacking coughs. And then she was dizzy. And then she was on the ground.
She'd opened her eyes and Suki had slowly come into focus. "Can you stand?" she'd asked once Ty Lee had caught her breath, which hadn't been easy, because she felt like she a platypus bear was sitting on her chest.
Ty Lee had nodded, and pushed herself up. Her legs shook, but for a moment, she'd thought she would be okay. Then she'd collapsed. Suki caught her, swept an arm under her knees and picked her up. Ty Lee allowed her head to loll against her friend's chest, gasping for breath once more.
"I'm taking you home."
Now Ty Lee is completely soaked in sweat, hair sticking to her forehead. Her breaths rattle so loudly she is sure they can be heard from the living room.
"I didn't think I'd see you again so soon," Mai comments. She is perched on the edge of the bed, and though she is successful in keeping her voice steady, Ty Lee can see moisture in her eyes.
"When did…" she struggles, and even then, her voice is a hoarse whisper. "When did you… get here?"
"We flew in this morning," Mai answers. "Zuko resurrected one of the old war balloons as soon as we received Azula's letter."
"Azula… wrote to you?"
"Yes," Mai confirms with a nod. "Suki says she's been out of her mind all week. Frustrated, scared, feeling completely useless. Not that she'd ever admit to any of that."
Ty Lee tries to laugh, but it causes a stabbing sensation in her chest. She knows she has been in and out for days now. She has vague memories of both Azula and Suki's faces hovering over her as she lay in the bed trembling and forcing herself to breathe. They both looked so afraid.
"Do you…" Ty Lee gasps. "Think I'm… going to die?"
Mai lays a hand on her neck, and it feels as cold as ice. "Of course not," she replies. "You'll be back in that ridiculous makeup in no time."
Ty Lee has always been able to see through Mai's lies.
Zuko does not come to see her until late that night, and he stands in the doorway for a long time, as if he is still not sure about his decision.
"Don't worry," Ty Lee tries to call. The effort sends to into a coughing fit. "Suki and… Azula aren't… aren't sick… so I don't… don't think… I'm contagious."
Zuko crosses the room slowly and stands awkwardly beside the bed. She pats a spot on the mattress next to her and he sits down. "Listen," he begins, and Ty Lee knows this is going to be a serious conversation. Unlike Mai and most unlike Azula, Zuko has never had trouble expressing his emotions. "Thank you. For everything you've done for Azula this past year."
"Where are you… going to take her?" Ty Lee can feel tears pricking at her eyes, but she knows she cannot start to cry, because once she does, she will not be able to breathe.
"I don't know," Zuko answers, his brow creased in thought.
"You can't… can't take her… back… to the Fire… Nation," Ty Lee replies. "She can't… go back there."
"I know," Zuko admits. "But I just don't see any other options right now. I don't know of anyone else who can stand her. I was thinking of maybe sending her to our mother—at least she'd be away from the palace—but I don't know how that would work out."
"She's gotten… so much better… Zuko," she pleads.
"I know." He smiles at her. It is a sad smile, but it is genuine. It has been days since Ty Lee has seen a genuine smile, and it is so refreshing. "You're a miracle worker."
"Look… Zuko, there's… something I need… to tell you." Ty Lee wishes that she could sit up, that she could be eyelevel with him, but she learned days ago that sitting was a thing of the past.
He looks concerned. Even more so than usual. "Of course."
"Azula wouldn't… wouldn't want me to… tell you… but… when I'm… well… you'll need to know… so you can… help her." She hesitates. "Zuko… Azula and I… we're, umm… we're together… like… like a couple."
Even in the dark, Ty Lee can see the color drain from his face, and she thinks the Fire Lord might be about to pass out. He opens and closes his mouth several times before he is able to make any sound come out. "How long?" he croaks.
"Five months."
Zuko stands up, one palm to his forehead. "Wow, uhh, okay," he is muttering to himself. "Okay." He looks up at her. "How did this happen?"
"I don't know… it just… kind of did." Ty Lee tries to shrug her shoulders, but even the small movement has her gasping for breath.
"How does she treat you?" he demands.
She rolls her eyes. "You're acting… just like Suki… she treats me… fine, Zuko… otherwise… it would have… been over… a long time… ago."
Zuko shakes his head. "I don't know how she's going to take this."
"Azula… will take my death… the way she… takes everything," Ty Lee answers. "She'll… be completely fine… until she's… not."
Ty Lee waits up for Azula tonight. She's hasn't seen her yet today. Azula rose before she did this morning and has not dropped in since. Finally, when the house has been silent for what feels like hours, the bedroom door creaks open, and a figure enters the room. Ty Lee waits while she changes her cloths and climbs into her bed, tripping and fumbling in the dark.
"Azula."
Azula is silent for a moment, and then, "I didn't know you were still awake."
"Were you… waiting… until I wasn't?"
"No."
Ty Lee wants to laugh, but she can't. "Azula, it's… it's okay to… be afraid."
"I'm not afraid," Azula protests, but her voice shakes and Ty Lee thinks she might be crying.
"Azula, come here."
"Why?" Ty Lee can see her lift her head off the pillow.
"Just… do it."
She watches her friend climb out of bed and pick her way across the room. "Get in here… with me."
"What?"
"Azula." Ty Lee cannot believe how terrified the Princess sounds. "Come on, I… don't bite… often."
Azula laughs weakly as she peels back the blanket and crawls into the narrow bed beside Ty Lee.
"Come on," Ty Lee repeats, slipping her arm around her girlfriend's shoulders and trying to pull her even closer, though she knows she is no longer strong enough. "I've never… never held you… I just… want to hold you… this one time."
Azula nods, though her eyes are still wide, and presses herself into Ty Lee's side, her head resting on her friend's shoulder, forehead pressed against the side of her chin.
"I never thought… you'd outlive me," Ty Lee admits. "I expected… you to get… yourself… killed first."
It is supposed to be a joke, but suddenly she can feel Azula's body shaking under her arm. Suddenly, the shoulder of her shirt is growing wet. It is a surreal experience, she decides, watching your friends mourn your own death.
A/N: So, yeah, if you wanted angst-less fluff, you won't find it here. Sorry.
I got more reviews than I was expecting for last chapter, which is awesome, so keep it up. Positive and negative reviews are both appreciated, as long as they're constructive. The more detailed, the better.
We're really getting into the meat of the story now. Part One was mostly setup. Like I said in my last author's note, Part Three is almost the length of Parts One and Two combined, and it should be up in not to long. I'm going to wait for some reviews to come in, like I did before I posted this one. Thanks for read, and I'll see you all next update!