A Golden Lily Upon The Scale
(May involve spoilers).

Being an Alchemist allows me to be educated in many subjects beyond that of human and vampire relationships. Throughout school, I aced English, History, Chemistry and Math. I was a top and diligent student, and such accomplishment was only expected among us Alchemists—particularly by my father.

I never got along well with my Dad. You'd have better chances living among the Strigoi than getting a compliment from him, no matter how hard or well you try. In a way, that has motivated me in the same sense that knowing your seconds are ticking down in a test motivates you to work faster. I pushed my limits, from school to my eating diet, just to get one lousy word of appraisal from that man. One word of acknowledgment is what motivates me to do what I do.

But nothing could ever motivate me learning magic from Mrs. Terwilliger.

"Have this spell annotated and completed by tomorrow evening, please," the fifty-something-year-old history teacher told me. Mrs. Terwilliger wasn't only acute on knowing everything from the civil wars in America to the founding of Australia in the pacific, but she was also a part-time witch. And one way or another, I was stuck with her in my extra credit study sessions to talk about magic while she attempted to get me involved.

"You'll need the help of that brother of yours," she continued, indifferently flipping through some old coffee-stained sheets of paper. It was only at the mention of his name that I noticed the severity of what Mrs. Terwilliger was asking. Mrs. Terwilliger had met Adrian Ivashkov, my so-acclaimed older brother, on numerous occasions; and although she never bluntly said it, she knew he was a vampire.

Or a Moroi, to be more exact.

I picked up the leather-bound book on the table before me and gave Mrs. Terwilliger a horrified look.

"I have no choice but to annotate and 'complete' the spell you've assigned to me, ma'am, but to involve Adrian?" I snapped harshly, "I won't do that!"

My history teacher's long fingers drummed across the coffee cup I always gladly went out of my way to get for her at Spencer's. Those trips have been not-so-bad lately as it gave me a chance to talk to Trey, a former 'Warrior of the Light' classmate who knew about my connections with the Alchemists. Although I never went into great detail of my life with the Alchemist, he understood the trouble I faced, just as I understood his—and we soon came to bond as closer friends thanks to that.

Mrs. Terwilliger shook her head. "I'm perfectly sure Adrian wouldn't mind helping you out for this spell, Melbourne. All it takes is him to answer a few personal questions and a strand of hair on his behalf. He wouldn't dare refuse you."

Don't tell me she knows.

Lacking the desire to spend another second in that classroom with Mrs. Terwilliger, I took my books and shoved them into my backpack, then made it up to my dorm. I didn't bother arguing with my teacher—I knew in the end I'd have to succumb to her 'assignments' anyway.

Thankfully, I no longer shared my dorm bedroom with Jill. Tonight I got the feeling I'd be up doing math equations rather than sleeping.

I collapsed onto my bed and kicked off my converses with more trouble than usual. I was always so flustered at the mention of his name ever since that incident. I know its wrong to have any type of relationship beyond that of mere acquaintances with the Moroi and Dhampir races, but whenever I remember the kiss I shared with him ... the way his lips were forced upon mine, and the way my brain went into complete overload and I foolishly kissed him back ...

I get so irritated with myself.

But then when I remember the words I said to him, and the look on his face ... when I remember the way I walked out of his apartment after shutting him down when he opened up to someone for the first time in his life!

... I hate myself for being such a disappointment.

I hadn't technically spoken to him in weeks. Adrian Ivashkov and myself had managed to stay away from each other ever since I told him ... well, that I detested him really. It wasn't that shocking. It was the belief system us Alchemist held—that vampires were a pest and hindrance to the human race. It was only as of late that I'd begin to see a different side to things, a different side to those beliefs.

I had seen the horrible things humans were capable of, and ever since then, all I kept on thinking was, 'Are the Moroi really the evil ones here?'

But I didn't voice what I thought because there was always rehabilitation present as a threat.

"Sydney!"

I shrill little voice came racing towards me. I looked over my shoulder and saw an overly cheerful Jill, accompanied by the ever-so-stoic Eddie and (I suppose I should say new girlfriend) Angeline. Things between the three seemed awkward almost ... and I could definitely guess why.

"Are we going to Clarence's now?" Eddie asked. I noted the way he stood protectively in front of Angeline, even though I knew she had the wild urge to push him out of the way. It seemed they really hit it off well, and their competitive and over-protective guardian energy radiated in their relationship. That very thought made me glance to Jill.

Jill had felt angry at me for what I did to Adrian. Those two sharing a shadow kissed bond really didn't help with the delicate situation at hand. Jill confronted me, and even sneered me in conversations many of times because she knew how Adrian had felt for me (I get the feeling everyone did, even Dimitri and Sonya), but she came around to ease up with me after she noticed Adrian not giving a damn anymore. And I knew she couldn't tell whether he really didn't give a damn or if he was pretending not to give a damn because he had blocked off all feelings being passed through the bond with an unhealthy indulgence in alcohol and cigarettes. So with her own feelings separated from Adrian's, Jill one night gave me a lengthy apology, and admittedly I was happy.

When I settled the three into the car and pulled out from the Amberwood car park, I told Eddie just what I had planned on the agenda today. When I mentioned needing to stop by Adrian's before the feeding at Clarence's, I instantly felt the tension in the car air freeze. And I heard Jill's shaky voice ask me to say again.

"I need help on something from Adrian," I said coolly. So it seemed more than just Jill who knew about what happened. Truth be told, I didn't want to ever talk to Adrian again in a while, but knowing Mrs. Terwilliger, I honestly had no choice. It was either put up with a drunk, sorrowful vampire or deal with the most pushiest witch in all of history.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Sydney," Jill said worryingly. I looked into the review mirror and saw Jill's uncertain face. Then I felt a little hurt.

"Why not? I just need to talk to him, strictly for homework."

Its not like I was going to get into some deep conversation with him. That's why I'm bringing you guys along.

Eddie shifted in his seat next to Jill, much to her delight. She still had a thing for him, I noticed.

"Adrian isn't the type to..." Eddie drifted off being unable to find the right words. "Well, he..."

I sighed heavily and turned around in my seat to face the two at the red traffic light. At least Angeline had it in her head not to get involved.

"Look guys," I said. "Whatever you've heard about me and Adrian—forget it. This is simply a short visit for my homework and nothing else."

Eddie and Jill looked to each other as if they didn't understand. I took the wheel again and found it within myself to stay quiet during the ride to Adrian's apartment—which once belonged to Keith—while having their eyes solely on me.

I couldn't be happier to get out of that car than when I discovered a week ago that I had lost 5 pounds ever since I ate that calorie filled slushy and gelato ice-cream. But that happiness was short lived as I took my backpack in the backseat and marched my way with Angeline, Eddie and Jill to Adrian's door.

When Eddie knocked the first time, we got no reply. It took about twenty-three hard knocks later to finally have someone, dressed in a bathrobe and I assume nothing underneath, open the door with the breath of a three-day-old rotten egg.

It was horrendous.

"Adrian!" chastised Jill, the first of us all to eventually recover. Adrian, with his hair messy in a non-styled way, and with eyes red bloodshot, skimmed over all our faces—well, all but mine. He gestured us a wave and a little grin.

"Well, if it isn't the Mystery Inc, here to bust me for whatever crime I've yet to have commit."

Great. He was already in his self-pity mode. I pushed pass Eddie gently and came face to face to Adrian. His eyes met mine, and I saw something flicker in them for a second, before he stumbled around and led us into his apartment. What was that?

"Make yourself at home," he mumbled. We all came rushing in.

"Have you been eating well?" asked Jill.

Adrian sagged onto the couch and tucked his hands under his head. I hovered near the front door, wanting to take a few steps back and out of the room. It couldn't be that hard saying 'goodbye' for a second time ...

"I'm on a steady diet of scotch in the morning and wine in the evening, if you're concerned," Adrian told Jill. She winced.

"I like what you've ... done to the place," commented Angeline. She drifted to the kitchen sink and pulled out a lacy red thong. I rushed over and gasped, taking the thin piece of cloth from her fingers and flinging it into the open dishwasher. I didn't care where it went—I just didn't want Angeline seeing something that vulgar. I withheld any comments I would have normally made to no doubt the culprit of the underwear, just as Adrian withheld any of his snarky remarks.

"Um," began Jill after noticing the silence. "So, how has your art classes been Adrian?"

I ducked out of the kitchen, pulling Angeline along while she protested, and tried not to pay attention to Adrian's answer. But I heard it anyway.

"I don't know. I haven't been."

Adrian's eyes flashed to meet mine again, and then he turned away.

Something inside me churned.

Why should I care? It wasn't part of my job qualifications to interact socially with the Moroi at Palm Springs—it was the opposite, really. Whatever he did in his own time was up to him. I wouldn't feel guilty at all. I was simply here only for my homework piece.

I cleared my throat.

"You're probably wondering why we're here," I addressed to Adrian. He seemed shocked at first to find me talking to him, but he soon covered that with a look of boredom.

"Do enlighten me, Sage," he replied.

Sage.

"Um, well, I dragged these guys along because Jill needs to have her feeding at Clarence's today."

Adrian sighed. "I've already gotten my feeding. I have a car now, you know."

Oh god, the car.

"Well, yeah, I know, but—"

"But Sydney needs your help for her homework!" Jill interrupted. My eyes darted to Jill and I shot her deathly glares. Adrian's eyes darted to me in a look of amazement, and then confusion. Then he sat up and let his head fall into his hands.

"For homework, hm? That's so typical of you."

I couldn't tell whether that was a compliment or an insult. I cleared my throat and brushed a lock of hair from my eyes. Why was I growing so nervous?

"I-I just need a little help. Just a few questions I have to ask you for a sp—" I paused. "Well, for something given by Mrs. Terwilliger."

Adrian's head shot up with the name.

"I thought you'd have rejected anything to do with her, considering you hate magic and all so much," he snapped.

I grimaced, and my chest tightened, and I saw the way Jill looked panicked and confused. She didn't know about my involvement with magic. No one did except for Adrian.

Jill glanced to Eddie and Angeline who stood together awkwardly in the room. I had completely forgot they were there. Jill smiled at them—something I thought she'd never do with the way her feelings were for Eddie—and told them that there was a really awesome café not far from here. They both looked at me for permission, and I nodded my head. The reason I dragged them here with me was because I didn't want to have this discussion with Adrian alone, but I realised that was impossible.

When they all left, I found myself leaning against a wall nearest to the kitchen, eyes on the ground. Adrian still sat silent on the couch, and I wondered what he was thinking.

"Why are you here?" Adrian asked. "Really?"

I sighed and withdrew the leather-bound book from my bag. I dusted the front and gave it to Adrian to have a look. He had trouble the catching the thing, and I almost forgot he was utterly wasted.

I sighed while looking to the ceiling. Why?

"I'll come back another time when you can see printed words clearly," I said. Adrian snatched hold of the book.

"No," he said. "It's fine. Take a seat."

Hesitantly, I did exactly that.

"Just another spell?"

I looked down. "Yeah. An assignment this time, otherwise I really wouldn't do it."

Adrian scoffed. He opened the book and a little sheet fell out. He picked it up and eyed it for a solid minute. Then he glanced to the book.

"What is this?"

"It's the translation. The book's written in German, so I wrote the questions in English so I could ask you them."

If Adrian was in any way impressed, he didn't show it.

"Why can't you just ask Eddie? Or Jill?" he questioned, jerking the book back in my direction. I took it without the attitude he held.

"Mrs. Terwilliger said I had to ask you."

Adrian rolled his eyes. "Crazy old witch."

"You can say that again," I chuckled.

Then we looked to each other. And we found ourselves busy with anything else other than our conversation. I hadn't really meant to laugh.

After I managed to pull a single line of string from the stitching of the hard covered book, I got straight into the questions for Adrian.

"There are six questions, all to do with your personality. Please answer them honestly or it won't really work," I said.

I didn't really remember what the questions were when I translated them late last night. I was too tired and stressed to remember. I only hoped they really were to with his personality. Adrian sighed and nodded.

"What makes you think I'll agree?"

I stopped and looked at him.

"Because I need your help."

"But I'm a Moroi," he jabbed. "Alchemists shouldn't get help from a Moroi. It's your belief system."

It was exactly as I feared. Adrian pretending to not give a damn was all a pretence, as if that wasn't obvious enough. But I really didn't want to go there. Not on this topic.

I averted my gaze.

"You had a late night of vices evidently," I replied, remembering the lingerie.

Adrian laughed and showed a wicked grin.

"Well, you're right about that. I am Adrian after all. Having parties, getting drunk—it's what I do best."

"Since when?" I scoffed. "You know, I'm starting to see a real big pattern here Adrian. The moment you get rejected by a girl, be it me or Rose, you always seems to lose your feet. You always run back to the things you hate—you purposely do it as if to say that's all you can be; a big, lousy disappointment. I really thought you were better than this. I thought you wouldn't be such a coward."

Adrian seemed taken aback by my outburst.

I didn't mean to say all those harsh words—I especially wanted to avoid the topic of me or Rose. But Adrian showed no reaction at all, or so any other person would say. I noticed the way his hands curled into fists. He was angry, as angry as I was. The words I said pierced him deeper than I intended, and suddenly I felt even more guilt bottle inside of me.

Adrian didn't dare meet my eyes.

"'You're better than this'," he murmured. "Funny. That's what she said."

I watched him sadly wondering if maybe he was talking about Rose. And then I sighed.

"No," I breathed. "I don't know. I just don't like you like this. You're tearing yourself up, and I ..."

And I what?

Adrian caught my hand, and I jerked when I felt the immense grip he held. But he wouldn't let me pull away.

"And you feel guilty?" he shot. "Sympathetic? Sorry? I don't want your pity, Sydney. I don't want anything from you anymore."

Sydney.

"If you don't want anything from me, then why don't you just let go?"

Of course, I was referring to my hand, but somehow, Adrian seemed to take that question further. His grip released, and his hand numbly sat on top of his lap. My hand was openly sprawled in his, and so effortlessly I could remove our contact. But something made me not.

"If I let go again, I don't think I'll be able to stay sane any longer," Adrian finally whispered.

My chest tightened further. His face, so full of sadness and grief, and his anguished whisper that filled the entire room ... I saw it all clearly.

I withdrew my hand, took the book and stood up.

"I think I'll just tell Mrs. Terwilliger that this spell is impossible to do," I mumbled. Adrian bolted to his feet.

"No," he said. "I'm willing to help. I just ..." he stumbled on the flat surface and I instantly helped him fall back onto the couch.

Then I sighed.

"You're not right in the head. You probably won't remember this come tomorrow morning. You're far too drunk."

"No I'm not!" Adrian defended. "I'm serious."

I groaned. "Then what's the multiples of 9?"

"Easy," Adrian snapped. "9, 19, 29, 72 ..."

I shook my head and laughed. "So wrong."

He took my hand once again.

"We work, Sage. Look? It's like nothing ever happened in the first place. We work really well together. I can feel it. Can't you?"

I froze the moment I felt electricity shoot up from my fingertips. I knew what Adrian was getting at. It was this. This, something I never felt with anyone else, not Brayden, not anybody. But Adrian. Just when it seemed all in the past ...

I tore my hand from his and took a step back.

"Like I said, you're drunk. You won't remember any of this. So just quit it already, Adrian. You're making this worse." I don't want to lose my control again.

"Worse? I won't ever 'quit this'. I found something. Something I really like. More than booze, more than cigarettes, than art—I found what I needed, Sage," he said. "You balance me like I need."

I balanced him?

I shook my head and clung closer to my book. Then I showed a painful smile.

"I can't balance you Adrian," I whispered. "Maybe in an alternative world, I could. I could be with you perhaps. Maybe like I might want. But—" I cleared my throat and battled through the forming tears. I shouldn't be saying this. I shouldn't. "But I'm a human and you're a vampire. In this world, it just can't be."

I watched his glazy eyes falter.

Then leaving Adrian quiet once again, I walked out of that apartment room, though this time feeling slightly more sinful. The words he said, if not on the verge of crazy, sounded true. Did I really balance him?

So I didn't get my assignment done. I didn't solve anything with Adrian. I simply created a bigger mess. I began to worry.

Because at this rate, it really wouldn't be too long until I truly fell for him.

Author's Notes

So, I love this pairing. Sydney and Adrian couldn't be anymore befitting. Thank you Richelle Mead for shipping these characters which I once upon a time would have most definitely considered impossible. I want Jill and Eddie to work out as well! Silly Angeline.

Sydney is a better protagonist than Rose for the record. And Adrian has always been far more interesting than Dimitri.

Thank you for reading and be sure to leave a review! Read the other chapters!