Chapter 2
"I don't know I think its kinda cute," Veronica admitted with a slight giggle. Jackie made a noise of disgust and turned away from her friend in mock horror. "I kinda like the fact that Fez ogles me like he does. It makes me feel pretty," Veronica added with one final coat of taupe paint to Jackie's living room walls. "We are officially finished with the living room," Veronica said bursting out into an impromptu dance that made Jackie giggle.
"You are such a freak," Jackie said laughing so hard that tears started streaming down her face. "Maybe Fez is a perfect match for you after all," she added trying to steady her breathing.
"I hope so. We've already slept together. I hope you don't mind," Veronica admitted sheepishly. "I hope that I didn't cross the friend barrier by doing that. I know he's your ex," she added biting on her bottom lip nervously as her pale blue eyes scanned Jackie's face for signs of either hurt or anger. "You're not mad I take it," Veronica noted in an amused tone as Jackie began bouncing up and down for joy. (If her excited noises were any indication)
"Of course not! When I was dating Fez it was weird. Like I was kissing my ears or something," Jackie said dismissively. "I'm glad you're with Fez, he needs someone to be with. A) because he is the horniest man I have ever met and B) he's my best guy friend. It didn't take us long to realize that we were definitely in the friend zone. Damn Donna anyway. She's the one who kept telling me that Fez matched my list perfectly," Jackie said in a rush. "I should have made sure that I was finished with the list first before taking her advice but...whatever. So give me details," Jackie purred grabbing her friends arm conspiratorially.
"It was amazing,!" Fez declared throwing up his hands in triumph. "Where is my applause?" he demanded frowning at Kelso and Hyde.
"Was it that good for her?" Hyde asked with a snicker as he went over his profit ledger. "Did you start humming again?" he added much to Kelso's delight.
"As a matter a fact no," Fez said in contempt. "The only noises were the happy moans," he said defiantly. "Well, except when I accidentally pulled her hair, but she said not to worry about it," he admitted.
"You pulled her hair? What a bone head move," Kelso said shaking his head while Hyde let out a low snicker.
"At least I did it right the first time," Fez snapped. "Jackie told me about your first time you sonofabitch and you know what my lovely Ronnie didn't have to help me find her h-" Fez sputtered only to be silenced as the front door to Grooves opened; revealing Mr. and Mrs Foreman.
"Which one of you dumb-asses were supposed to help the Loud one unload her furniture?" Mr. Foreman demanded with a scowl. Fez and Kelso exchanged alarmed looks making it obvious that they had forgotten all about it. "Get over there, before her and her friend hurt themselves," Red said jerking his thumb towards the door.
"What furniture?" Hyde said as Mrs. started rummaging around in her purse.
"For her new house,"Red said in exasperation. "Go help them after you're done here, will you? Tonto and that nitwit couldn't find their asses with both hands," he finished as Kitty hurried over with a sheet of paper with Jackie's address written on it. "Eric's already over there probably getting in the way," Red muttered looking surprised when his wife frown at him and gave his arm a solid smack.
"Sure thing, Red," Hyde said in his most zen voice, giving a silent sigh of relief. Now he had a valid excuse to head over there, he was covered.
"Oh, my god! That's her kicking?" Eric said incredulously looking at Jackie's swollen stomach in mystified horror. "Doesn't that hurt?" he asked feeling both morbid and curious.
"Nope, its more like having really bad gas or the sensation you get right before Laurie comes over," Jackie said with a grin. "Wanna feel? Its okay," she assured him. Eric gave a quick look around before hesitantly putting his hand on her stomach. "She's starting to move again, so you should feel something soon," she promised as Veronica shook her head and headed upstairs with another box.
"This is so cool," Eric whispered with a grin. He moved his hand when Jackie headed over to a folding chair indicating she needed to sit down. "Can I ask you something? You know without getting my nipples twisted or kicked in my shins?" he said kneeling down beside her. Jackie smiled and nodded, she already had a good idea what Eric wanted to know and it didn't bother her. Eric hardly ever judged her, he might call her Satan but unless he was prodded by Donna he didn't really look down on her. She valued that about him. "Why'd you do it?" he asked in confusion.
"I want a family, Eric. A lot. You don't know how good you've got it. You're parents are there for you and you always have someone to turn to. I don't have anybody. I've been wanting to be a mom for a while now and just haven't found the right guy. Since following tradition didn't work I went another route. She'll grow up knowing how much she's loved and that I'll always be there for her. That's way more than I had," Jackie said with a shrug. "I could have asked you for your help," she teased trying to lighten the mood.
"Oh no. My boys are on reserve," Eric said waving his hands and laughing. "They are Donna's special property," he said with a blush. "I wish she was ready to have kids," Eric admitted stealing a peek at Jackie's stomach.
"You wanna be the first to know what name I've decided to give the baby?" Jackie said with a grin. "Erica Katherine Burkhart," she said in a low tone. "Has a nice ring to it doesn't it? What do you think?" she asked patting her belly.
"I'm touched," Eric admitted with a small smile. "I know my mom will be too," he assured her.
"Well, as long as you're feeling touched. Would you mind touching some of these boxes? I'm getting worn out," Veronica groused sitting on the bare wood floor.
"Yes. Ma'am!" Eric said giving her a salute.
"I doubt that Jackie is going to need all of these pies, Mrs. Foreman," Hyde said loading up the back of the Foreman's car with groceries.
"Oh those are for me. The church is having a bake sale," Kitty said waving her hand dismissively. "The rest of it is for Jackie. The poor girl hardly ever eats and she needs all the food she can get now that she's eating for two," Kitty added with her trademark laugh. "So Steven, when are you going to make me a grandma? Eric's sure taking his sweet time," she asked when Hyde had finished loading up the car.
"I don't know Mr. Foreman," Hyde said climbing into the car. "I guess I hadn't really thought about it," he said as Kitty ran around to the other side to get in.
" Well, you should," Kitty insisted. "I'll help. You'd hardly have to lift a finger if you didn't want to. I need grand babies," she pleaded.
"How's Red feel about all of this?" Hyde asked chuckling as they drove towards Jackie's.
"I don't care. I need grand babies, Steven. If Eric and Donna aren't gonna give me any, that leaves you," Kitty warned. "Come on, Steven. There's not a little part of you that might want a bundle of joy?" she asked nudging him hopefully.
"If I ever met Ms. Right; I might be inclined to produce a couple bundle of smells for you," Hyde reluctantly admitted. He jumped a little bit when Kitty began jumping up and down in her seat clapping for joy. For a moment he was reminded of Jackie.
"A couple? " Kitty repeated Happily. "That's wonderful, Steven. You won't regret this I promise you. Oh, turn left on this street. Jackie's is the first house on the right. Isn't it beautiful ?" Kitty gushed. What have I just agreed to? Hyde wondered as Kitty went on and on. "Plenty of room for babies," Kitty was saying to herself as she got out of the car.
"Mrs. Foreman!" Hyde called after her desperately hoping that he was not following her train of thought correctly. "Mrs. Foreman!" he shouted getting out of the car. "Crap."
"Presents!" Jackie squealed as Kitty came inside. "I love presents!" she said rushing up and giving the older woman a hug.
"Now, Jackie. Lets put all this stuff away in the kitchen and have a little girl talk," Kitty said giving her trademark laugh. Jackie just shrugged and let the way towards her kitchen as Kitty was happily humming behind her. "How's the pregnancy?" Mrs. Foreman asked when they entered the kitchen.
"Pretty good, actually. I'm getting kinda excited now that I'm in the last trimester," Jackie said putting things away. "Have I shown you the ultrasound photos? She's just adorable," Jackie gushed quickly taking the photo's off of her fridge. Mrs. Foreman spent the next several minutes cooing over the photo and soon both her and Jackie were ecstatic.
"Sweety, can I ask you a question?" Kitty asked with a sigh. Jackie smiled at her and nodded encouragingly. "Why did you go and do this? Why not get married like most people? Is that too old fashioned now a days?" Kitty asked in a confused rush.
"I did try to get married, if you remember it didn't turn out too well. One day I woke up and realized that I was torturing myself looking for 'the one'. I decided to cut out the middle man. Besides men are typically clueless when it comes to raising kids anyhow aren't they?" Jackie said with a dismissive shrug.
"But its...well its weird honey. Although men do tend to get in the way. They can also create more work than they help with...but honey a kid needs two parents to help raise it," Kitty babbled momentarily confusing herself. "You're taking on a big responsibility all by yourself," she pointed out.
"Mrs. Foreman, I know and I am preparing. I've wanted a family for a long time and maybe next time I have a child I'll be married but if not..." Jackie began.
"You want more children?" Kitty said spinning around and giving her an excited look that Jackie didn't quite understand. "And you have no objection to being married?" Kitty asked trying to clarify and keep things straight in her own head.
"Yeah. I mean I don't think I'll ever find Mr. Right but if I do I want to be with him forever I mean that is the only thing missing from my dream now," Jackie said confused.
"Oh, that is so good to hear honey!" Kitty said nearly squeezing the life out of Jackie. "I'll get to work right away! You won't be sorry, I promise you! Grand babies here I come!" Kitty said scurrying out of the kitchen and leaving a very confused Jackie Burkhart behind.
"Forman, I'm saying this to you with the most sincere affection and respect. Knock up Donna please," Hyde said two weeks later in the Foreman's basement. "Your mom is driving me nuts. I mean sure Red seems to think its funny but she's starting to scare the hell outta me man," Hyde confessed as he crossed his arms and turned his attention to the TV.
"Dude, I would but Donna says she's not ready to have kids yet. I kinda gotta respect her choice in this," Eric complained. "What is my mom doing anyhow? She's been parading women through the house like its some kind of pageant. I even heard her on the phone trying to convince Laurie to clean up her act and hang around more. Who likes that idea?" Eric added with a shudder.
"You're mom wants grand children and is determined to have them. She's trying to breed me with one of the females she's brought over. I don't care what you have to do, get Donna preggo pronto. Maybe she'll lay off of me," Hyde grumbled. "Replace her birth control with tic tacs if you have too, just get it done."
"Its not that simple,Hyde" Eric began as they heard two pairs of footsteps begin to decend the stairs. "We'll talk about this later," Eric whispered before they turned to greet the basement newcomers.
"We are hiding from your mother," Fez explained as he led Jackie down the steps carefully. "She is truly possessed. Is it this Men of Pause she's got?" he asked.
"She's been parading men around me for a couple weeks. Even old uggos, its scary," Jackie said waddling over to the couch. "I mean who would want to date a woman who's eight and a half months pregnant. Nobody I'd want, that's for sure. The perverts," she grumbled lowering herself onto the couch with Eric's help. "So what's up with you guys?" Jackie asked trying to change the subject.
"You're not her only victim. Hyde's in the cross-hairs too," Eric pointed out with twitching lips. "She's found a hobby like dad asked her too. Matchmaking. Thank God I'm already married," he added laughing at the murderous look Hyde sent his way.
"Don't laugh, Eric" Jackie admonished him. "Its not funny. Its like she's found multiple people to simultaneously stalk you. This shit ain't funny,"she finished ignoring the shocked gasp that Fez gave her or the approving look Hyde threw her way. "She's gotta be stopped. You and Donna better get down and dirty and fast because I can't take much more of this," Jackie added flipping her raven hair over her shoulder. "Its so hot in here." she complained fanning herself.
"Well, you've got a bun in the oven, Jackie and it summer what did you really expect?" Hyde said with a sneer.
"Don't get all scrappy with me, Steven. Especially when I just stuck up for your ungrateful cheating ass," Jackie said standing up with some effort. "I'll have you know..." she began angrily.
"That you have totally ruined the couch! My God, what is that?" Eric demanded in a shrill tone. "Jackie did you just pee on my couch?" Eric shrieked as Fez made a face of disgust. "And on my floor?" he added pointing at the growing puddle by her feet accusingly.
"I didn't pee, Eric ! Stop shouting at me and let me think. This is so gross and disgusting," Jackie snapped.
"Dude, I think someone should get Jackie to the hospital," Hyde said swallowing nervously. "I hope that thing doesn't come out right here," he said nearly backing into the freezer.
"You take her I'm not messing up the vista crusier," Eric said shoving his hands into his pockets and shaking his head violently. "Besides, my grandma died in that car its bad luck for the baby," he added before bolting upstairs.
"In my country we don't …..hold on Eric I am coming with you!" Fez said bolting after him. Hyde cursed his friends and silently vowed serious payback for this.
"Jackie, where are you going?" Hyde demanded as Jackie waddled towards the back door.
"To the hospital, Steven I don't want to have my baby where the gang has its circle," she said opening the back door. "Don't worry, I'll drive myself," she assured him walking up the steps of the basement.
"Jackie, here I'll take you. You can't drive yourself," Hyde grumbled following after her.
"I'm fine. I can do it by myself I don't need any help or pity," she insisted.
"Jackie."
"Yeah?"
"Shut your piehole."