Yo!
(Some time after griff's sisters backstory)
"The cool thing is that I was lucky enough to be sent here! They said your commander died and I need to replace the missing troop." explained Griff's little sister.
"But our commanders not dead! I am our commander!" panicked Sarge.
"And an excellent one at that sir!" said the suck up known as Simons.
"Thank you Simons." Sarge thanked the suck up of a soldier.
"Wait. If you're here to replace our dead commander and he's here to assume control of our team, but Sarge is still alive... I don't know about the the rest of you guys but I'm confused as hell right now." said griff who diceded to stop trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together, mostly out of pure laziness and no one ever brought it up again.
"Yeah! Your commander died and one of your troopers is going to be promoted, and I was sent to replace the missing troop!" said Griff's little sister confusing matters further.
"W-What's this about a promotion?" asked Simons who started to act strangely.
'Is this girl colour blind, or is she makeing this up to be with her brother...? Then again, from what I've seen of her so far, she isn't smart enough to come up with something like that... Or is she?' Lelouch stayed quite and listened to the rest of the conversation.
"Sounds like command made a mistake." Sarge was clearly in denial about being thought dead by command and or him being replaced as the Red teams commanding officer.
"I don't know Sarge. Didn't you say command never makes mistakes. That must mean your dead!" said Griff to his former C.O. hopeing that either his sister or this Lelouch guy where right, mainly so he wouldn't have to put up with Sarge's nonsense ever again.
"Seriously what was the promotion thing? I'm sure I head something about someone getting promoted!" frantically asked Simons steering the conversation towards the promotion in hopes it was him getting it.
"They said one of your troops would be promoted to replace your dead C.O." Griff's sibling in yellow armour explained.
"One in particular? One like me? A maroon one?" Simons continued to pester the girl like a vulture circling its next meal in hopes that she responds with a yes.
"Hay, you really scary… That's hot!" said the some how turned on teenaged girl.
"Not tuchen it!" said Lelouch backing away from the girl by good few feet.
"Sarge, l'm really sorry you died!" said Griff in mock apologetically.
"Don't be stupid griff! How can I be dead if I'm standing right here?" rhetorically asked Sarge.
"Well if command is wrong about you dieing Sarge, then couldn't they be wrong about other stuff too, like… Like what is the Blues don't suck? Huuuuh…! What if the Blues are awsome!? This changes everything!" Griff, insulting over exaggerated.
(one shallow grave later)
"Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to pay our respects to sarge." Simons as acting clergyman opened the rememberacne service.
"But I was so young… And violent!" whaled the supposedly dead Sargent.
"And that's what makes this so sad." commented Griff.
"It's official! Command hates me! Why else would they put me in charge of a bunch of idiots." Sighed Lelouch in disappointment. C2 tryed to hold back snicker at how idiotic there teams former C.O is.
"No laughing at a funeral, ma'am! It's considered bad manors." Sarge scolded the A.I. attending his own funeral.
(a few minutes later)
"And now, Griff has asked to say a few things about our beloved Sargent." said Pvt. Dick Simons giving Pvt. Griff the spot light.
"Hay there everybody it's great to be here. Well, what can I say about Sarge? I mean besides good riddance! Hoooooooe! But seriously, Srage lived a grate life and now that he's dead our lives are pretty great too, Zing! Ha ha! You know what I'm taking about!" jeered Grif as if he was at an open mic night in a comedy club.
"Come on! Is this a rememberacne or a roast?" heckled the supposedly dead Sarge off to the far right of the group.
"Boo! Go home!" shouted Lelouch not finding any humour in his comedy routine.
"Go back to your circus' side show attraction of a mother, fatty!" yelled C2 insultingly.
"You tell him!" Simons agreed and joined in the heckling with the A.I.
"Quite in the front row... And leave my mother out of this!" demanded the orange slacker of a soldier.
"Then get a different mother you orange turd!" insulted the A.I only agitating Griff further.
"I will come over there and delete you myself you pixilated bitch!" yelled Griff who's anger was throw the roof with the holographic person.
"Bring it, you orange fuck boy!" challenged the A.I. not backing down.
"Griff vs an A.I? Now this aught to be good. Fight, fight, fight!" chanted Sarge backed by Girffs sister.
"Psssst! Griff, your speech!" Simons remind his fellow red.
"Hu…? Oh yeah, right. Where was I… Oh yeah! I'm not asking and he's not telling, but when Donut first came to the base, Sarge spent a lot of time talking about "glazed donut holes" if you now what I mean. Hay hoooooooooe!" The orange soldier picked up from where he left off. Lelouch turned off his helmets audio respters at glazed.
(one campaign speech from Simons, a speech from Griff's sister and a fart joke later)
"Ugh… I'll just get in my grave…" sighed the Red Sargent disappointedly.
"I think that would be for the best sir." said Simons none sympathetically.
"My God! Who dug this grave? It's exactly to regulation… Better even!" asked/praised Sarge.
"I'm glad you like it sir." answered Lelouch.
"Like it? It's perfect! Son, if you were a lower rank the me I'd put you in for a double rank promotion in a heart beat." praised Sarge
"Thank you Sargent." Said Lelouch thanking him for the compliment.
"If you ever retire from armed services you would make a killing as a one of those guys who dig gave for funerals. Just look at the symmetry! It's a perfect rectangle... And it's just my size too. You son, have a gift." Sarge then added with pride that another red in his box canyon managed to do something so perfectly first time.
"Kiss ass!" complained the resident kiss ass of blood gulch.
"Look who's talking, Simons! It's because of him volenteering to dig that grave that you where able to put so much extra detail into the funeral service." pointed out Griff.
"…Shut up Griff and help me bury Sarge!" growned Simons picking up a shovel in defeat.