I wanted to curl into a ball and die, and I got my wish. Somewhat.

I went back to the area where I found the kid; In an alleyway between the Artery Clogger and a bookstore. I'll never forget it. Sunday night, 1:48 AM. Blood everywhere, and I could still hear the kid's cry.

His mother...A bloody stain on the wall. She was stuck there by her own blood, her entrails hanging out from her body. I walked up to her...Her face...Scratched and mauled by the Hunters. Her black flowing hair was caked with blood, what seemed to be fair skin was now mutilated, red, bloodied, ugly. One of her eyeballs hung from the socket. Seemed she had blue eyes.

I turned away, not bearing to look at the sight of her. The concrete, stained with blood from both the parents and the Hunters...Sickening. Then I saw the father. Or what was left of him. There, in the corner, his head. I hesitated, not wanting to look, but the smell of blood...I wanted to stay. The raging animal inside of me hungered for the taste, the sweet, coppery taste of the red elixir. I walked over to the corner and knelt down. The head was turned over. I picked it up. Heavy, as all of the body parts were when their owners left them, to go into a world unknown by mankind.

His face wasn't mauled like the mother's, but blood stained every part of him. Cheeks, hair, face...I had to control myself, resisting the urge to lose control and greedily lick the blood from the corpse.

I should be ashamed, but I am not. Why is that?

I turned the head over for a closer look. Brown hair. Brown eyes. They were still open. Oh God...

I still remember the screams I heard from the boy, crying over his mother and father, begging for them to wake up. Why now? Why now did I feel this...panging guilt of not saving them?

Was it because I was too late to save them? Or was it the fact that they might have been still alive, trying to cling on to those last few threads of life, just to be with their son?

I took two fingers. Closed the eyes. I stood up and went back to the mother.

I took one last look at her. A bubbling, seething pit of rage washed over me for some reason.

How come I couldn't remember my own parents? Mom? Dad?

Why aren't you here with me and Dana?

I want to go home...

Something black and slimy came out of my mouth. Grazed the torn cheek of the mother's face. So sweet...I wanted more.

It was mere fuel for the fire. Blood with hate, a perfect match. I lapped up the dried blood from the left temple. So good...

NO! This was shameful. I turned away, grabbing ahold of myself. My hands shook, lower lip quivered. Never in my life have I felt so...dirty. Cleansing wasn't an option. I was made this way, but even monsters can change.

Can they?

My stomach lurched, puked right in the alleyway. How could I...? All the blood I just greedily took from the dead, all came out in the bile. Maybe this was a sign. Maybe I am changing.

No...The hate still ran free through me. I wiped my mouth and walked out of the alleyway. It was going to take a lot of willpower not to tear the boy apart now...I just have to be in control...

Dana was sitting on the couch with the boy. He was still awake. They were watching TV. As soon as I stepped in, he looked to the door and saw me.

I couldn't put on a fake smile. I couldn't even smile if I wanted to.

He immediately ran to me, hugging me. His small arms couldn't wrap around me. I was too big for him. It was sweet. I patted his head and looked at him. He as already looking at me.

"Alex...Where were you?" Dana said from the couch, looking at me. I didn't pay attention. My eyes were on the kid. Hazel brown hair...Just like his papa's. Those big blue eyes...His mama had them. A big silent grin spread across his face, I could tell he was still sad on the inside, but wanted me to feel happy.

I wasn't. The kid could smile. I couldn't. The sight of him and his family there...Side by side...Laughing, playing, having a good time. With all my might, I kept the urge to smack the boy across the face inside of me.

How come Dana and I never did those things? We were still brother and sister...Weren't we?

But I'm not Alex Mercer. I'm just a clone of him. On the inside...I'm the Blacklight Virus. Programmed to infect and kill. I'm...Nothing.

So if I'm nothing, then why is this kid trying to make me feel happy?

I bit my lower lip. It was starting to tremble.

"Alex...? Are you okay?" Dana asked. "You look as though you're about to cry."

Cry? What's...cry? I pushed the boy away and walked into the bathroom. Locked it. I shook all over, my stomach felt so sour, so sick. A lump grew in my throat. The boy lost his parents, and I just assaulted his mother's corpse. What kind of person am I?

But that's just it. I'm not a person. I'm a thing. I'm a monster. I looked at myself in the mirror. Alex Mercer was a monster too. He threw the vial down in Penn Station, as a last "Fuck you" to the world.

I'm nothing like him, but I'm something much more than him.

Was I about to cry? My eyes were watery, but nothing dripped down from them. Monsters can't cry...Monsters can only hate. Alex Mercer was Frankenstein, and I was the product of his dreams. Rage seethed threw me. I smashed the mirror with my fist. Dana knocked on the door. I couldn't hear anything, the pounding hate rang through my ears.

Like I wanted to hear anything from Dana anyways.

I could hear small pounding. It was the kid. I didn't care. Blood dripped from my hand. Glass was embedded on my knuckles. The knuckles were split when I released my fist. Pain was my friend...I embraced it. Sadness wasn't the cure for anything. I couldn't cry, so why did it matter? Again, and again, I pounded the mirror; The blood dripped into the sink.

It wasn't my blood anyways. It was the blood of the people I've consumed. The delicious red liquid left my hand, free from the prison it was in.

Dana and the kid were pounding on the door, shouting for me to open the door.

Like hell I was.

Their cries...To see if I was okay. They didn't mean it, did they? I growled and grabbed my head. They wouldn't shut up. I can't hear myself speak.

Wetness trickled down my cheeks.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" The shout came out more like a whine, a childish whine. I groaned, started to sob. I felt something wet on my cheeks. What was it? Blood?

I grabbed what was left of the mirror and threw it on the opposite side of the wall. It shattered so beautifully, but I still whined like a child, crying.

Crying? Did I just say that? Was I really...? I slid inside the tub and curled up into a ball. Please...Why was I crying? I didn't deserve such a gift.

The door opened. It was locked. How could it be open?

The boy came in and looked at me, trembling all over. I could hear him sobbing too. Did he share my pain as well? I could hear him crawl into the tub.

"Go away," I said, my voice muffled by my clothing.

He didn't leave. Instead, he hugged me. I twitched, the feeling still so foreign to me. Why did he hug me? I didn't even deserve it...

He grabbed my hand, the one that I beat the mirror with. The boy sobbed softly as he removed the glass from my hand. I could feel Dana's presence, looking through the doorway. I opened my eyes. The kid was still picking the glass out. He looked up at me and put on a smile, reaching out to wipe away the tears from my face.

So I was crying...

Dana gave him a first aid kit, and the boy went right to work on my hand. I felt so much better after crying. I don't know why that happened. I still don't know as I think of it now. He still had that tender smile as he wiped the blood away, as he wrapped my hand up. It wasn't much use. The wounds would heal in a couple of minutes, anyway. It was still sweet though.

...The kid was like a parent somehow, I don't know. The way he cared for me, the worried look on his face when he saw me curled into a ball in the bathtub. It was tender and loving, and I was an ungrateful bastard. Why was I given this gift sent from heaven? Did I deserve it? No...

Yes...?

Maybe...Time will tell...Time will tell...