Three's A Crowd
Chapter Two
Tori
I was floating on cloud nine, not even realizing that I had been staring at the doorway since Jade left. As often as I'd dreamt of it, imagined it, I'd never truly believed that Jade could return my feelings. From what I could see, she'd just always been so in love with Beck that it seemed impossible that she could ever love anyone else.
And, just like that, I came crashing back down to Earth.
Beck.
Jade was still dating Beck, regardless of her feelings for me, and I wouldn't delude myself with thoughts that maybe she didn't actually love him. Despite her skills as an actress, not even Jade could pull that off, fake such an intense love with a wonderful guy. I reminded myself of that fact once more - Beck was really a good person. Even with this new knowledge, could I really hurt him that way?
"Tori?" Andre's voice filtered through my thoughts, and my head snapped around to face him. He was watching me with a concerned look that matched the aura of worry that seemed to surround him in that moment. "Are you okay?" he asked lowly, obviously referring to my situation with Jade.
I shook my head to clear it and nodded at him. "I'm fine."
The words seemed to leave my mouth on autopilot, and I sighed as soon as they were said. I wanted to do just what I'd started to do - nod and blow off my strange behavior - but he was my best friend, my brother in everything but blood. Even if I wasn't ready to talk about it yet, he deserved some facet of the truth.
I shook my head ruefully at his wry glance. "No, I'm not fine, but I really can't talk about it right now. Things are just - " I cut myself off, wondering how to finish that sentence. "It's been a really long, really strange day, and I need a little time to get my head around it," I said truthfully as we walked slowly to class together. Apparently, Andre had waved Robbie and Cat ahead while I'd been stuck in my lovestruck daze, which I wish I'd been able to hold onto for a while longer.
"It's cool. I know that you'll come to me when you're ready. Is there anything I can help with, without you telling me what's up?" he offered sincerely, and I broke into a smile at the flicker of brotherly love that seemed to fill me up with warmth, like a cup of hot chocolate on a cold day.
Then, I gave it some thought. Maybe he could help me out without me being forced to spill my guts about the crazy situation that I found myself in. He already knew that I was in love with Jade, after all. I'd confessed to him when he though that he was crushing on her, and he even tried to help me get over her. No luck on that count, clearly.
I hummed quietly as I thought. "Andre...I don't even know where to start," I confessed. "You know how much I love her, but I can't just sit back and watch her be with Beck forever. He's a great friend and I don't want to hurt him, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do," I vented, letting out a few of my frustrations.
"Hey, muchacha, it's alright." He wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulders. "I know it's hard for you to not tell her how you feel, but you have to ask yourself how much your friendship with Beck means to you," he said seriously, and I nodded in agreement.
I'd thought about the cost of pursuing Jade more times than I could count, but it had never been so difficult to weigh my options before. Of course, pursuing Jade had seemed like walking on water: impossible. Now, when I knew that she returned my feelings, it was beyond tempting to give into my desires. The only thing stopping me was Beck.
If I managed to steal her away from him, I couldn't bear the guilt that I would carry, and I would lose one of my best friends. If I didn't even attempt to make her mine, then I'd be stuck right where I was now, alone and unhappy without her.
Not to mention, how would Jade feel about all of this? If she truly loved us both, as I suspected she did, then how could I make this harder for her by pushing her into a corner and making her choose once and for all? No matter who she picked, she'd feel like she was losing one of us, and I didn't want to put her through that.
Of course, there was also the fact that she might feel violated by the fact that if I told her that I knew about her feelings for me because I had invaded her privacy by...I suppose you could call it "reading" her emotions, though it had been entirely unintentional and unexpected. Then again, if I didn't tell her and she eventually discovered the truth, she may feel betrayed by the fact that I kept it from her.
I was beginning to get a headache from all of the possibilities, and I just wanted the pounding in my head to stop. It wasn't doing me any good, and I knew in my heart what I should do, no matter how little I liked it.
"You're right," I finally said, when I realized that Andre was still waiting for an answer. "I don't want to lose Beck's friendship, and it wouldn't be right to dump all of this on Jade when I know that she loves him." It nearly made me sick to my stomach, but I got the words out.
But she loves you, too, a small voice in the back of my head whispered.
I shook my head. This is for the best. She's happy with him.
Andre smiled sympathetically, and I relished in the comfort seeping from his body and into my stressed form. "I think you're doing the right thing, Tori," he murmured as he hugged me tightly, and I suddenly realized that he'd pulled us into the janitor's closet when I was lost in my thoughts.
Clearly, we wouldn't be making it to our last class, not that it would have done me any good. I would have almost certainly ended up staring at Jade for the entire period, and I don't think I could have handled being in such close proximity with the rest of the class. If the trend of the day held true, then I would likely have been overwhelmed by the flood of emotions hitting me from all sides, since my assigned seat was directly in the middle of the small sea of desks.
"So, Mr. Wizard," I teased lightly, trying to perk up a bit, "got any more sage advice to stop me from exploding and doing something I'll regret later?" I asked, half-playful and half-serious. It was a real possibility, and I'd come close to doing just that a few times before I developed this crazy sixth sense.
He chuckled quietly, and his eyes seemed to be watching me intently. "Alright, Tor, don't take this the wrong way, but..." he trailed off for the moment and appeared to be struggling with something. I could feel his frustration levels rising.
"What's up, Andre?" I asked curiously. "You know you can tell me anything," I pointed out. "If you think it could help, I'm willing to give it a shot. At this point, I think I'd try just about anything." It was the truth. In spite of this new and thrilling discovery, my situation hadn't changed at all. I was still, essentially, stuck.
Finally, he seemed to come to a conclusion. "Okay. Tori, I think that you need to go on a date," he said firmly, and my eyes widened. As soon as I opened my mouth to protest, he raised his hands defensively. "Before you say no, just think about it. If you can't have Jade, then you deserve to be happy with someone else. It may not be the same, and you may not be as happy as you would be with her, but at least you won't have to try so hard anymore," he said quietly.
I grimaced at his words. This was one of the downsides of his knowing me almost better than I knew myself: he knew how to circumvent my arguments. It was true that maybe going out with someone who I could admire openly might make me happier, but...
"Wouldn't that be wrong?" I frowned. "I'd be going out with someone else despite the fact that I know I'm in love with Jade. So, wouldn't that make me just as bad as Ryder?" I wondered, with renewed disgust toward the guy who'd tried to use me to get a good grade in class. Not that I ever went out with him, contrary to popular belief. I agreed to hang out with the guy and blew him off when he tried to kiss me.
Andre smiled. "I didn't say that you should lead anyone on, Tori. I just said that you should go on a date. Not everyone is looking for a relationship when they go out. As long as you're honest about your intentions, and the person you go out with is also not looking for a committed relationship, there's really nothing stopping you," he explained with a shrug, and I had to admit that he was right.
There were actually a lot of people at Hollywood Arts that were like that, not looking for love or even a real relationship. Instead, they really just wanted someone to go out and have a good time with.
"Who would I go out with?" I asked reluctantly, and his dark eyes gleamed with excitement. Thanks to my new...powers? abilities?...I really had to smile along with him. Besides, he was just trying to help me, and I was desperate enough to try anything.
"Well, first off, you should go out with a girl," he started before responding to my questioning look. "You've never really dated another girl, and I don't feel like you'd have a good time with a guy right now, considering how hung up you are on Jade," he mentioned, and I had to agree with that.
I'm bisexual, but if I'm going to go out with anyone besides Jade then I want a woman right now. It would just be too far of a stretch to date a guy when I'm still in love with a girl.
"I take it you have a girl in mind that fits the no-serious-relationships qualification," I wondered aloud. He must if he brought it up. Andre usually thought these things through, and I didn't see any reason for this time to be any different.
He nodded. "Do you know Vanessa Cleveland? She's in our grade, and she sang in the Big Showcase a couple weeks ago," he mentioned, and I admitted to myself that he had good taste. Even I hadn't been able to resist a second look at the sexy singer, regardless of my feelings for Jade.
Vanessa was beautiful, no doubt about that, and she was a talented punk-rock singer. She had the typical California beach girl look going for her, but hers was all natural, from her beach-blonde hair to her bronze tanned skin and bright ocean-blue eyes. Plus, as an added bonus, she wasn't a stuck-up bitch like most gorgeous girls were. She was a genuinely nice person, and she went out of her way to connect with all of the different groups in our school.
Of course, the most important factor was that she was an out of the closet lesbian. In fact, the day after I came out at Hollywood Arts, she came up to me and congratulated me. Although, her congratulations was a bit more flirty than congratulatory, which would work in my favor now.
"I know her," I responded with a short hum. "So, you think that I should ask her out?" I clarified.
"Yeah," Andre grinned. "I heard from a friend of mine a couple days ago that she liked you, which is why she came to mind just now. And I know for a fact that she's not looking for a serious relationship because she wants to focus on her career and her studies in college. She just wants a little fun, but she also dates exclusively, which I know is something you like," he said knowingly, and it was true.
I may have agreed to go out with someone to help me control myself around Jade, but that didn't mean that I wanted to date someone who was casually dating several other people at once. Of course, on the flip side, I'd gone out with a couple for a few months when I was still going to school at Sherwood, and I didn't have a problem with it. Both of them had wanted it, and I knew going into it that it wasn't going to be anything serious.
"Okay," I agreed, a small grin tugging at my lips. Once I put Jade out of my mind for the moment, I found that I was actually kind of excited about dating someone. It wouldn't be the same as getting what I really wanted, but I needed this. "I'll go and talk to Vanessa when - "
The sound of the final bell cut me off, and I startled at the sudden noise. I hadn't realized that so much time had passed.
"I guess I'll go and find her now," I laughed lightly, and Andre grinned at me.
"Alright, I'll see you later, chica," he told me. "She has Rock Vocals in the Black Box last period, so you should be able to find her there if you hurry. You go and get your girl." He waved as he led the way out of the janitor's closet before disappearing into the crowd.
I moved swiftly through the crowd. Now that I'd made my decision, I didn't want to leave this for tomorrow. So, I was a bit disappointed when I arrived to find that the Black Box was empty, before I suddenly remembered that Vanessa either walked or took the bus to school.
With renewed energy, I rushed through the halls, and my smile widened when I caught a glimpse of her through the glass doors of one of the side entrances to the school. Once I slipped through the exit, I slowed my pace a bit.
"Vanessa!" I called her name, and she turned to face me. I was just a few steps behind her at that point, and she smiled when she saw me.
"Hey," she greeted me happily, and the surge of pleasure that she felt boosted my own happiness.
"Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something," I told her, and she tilted her head curiously. "Can I give you a ride home?" I offered, and I was pleased when she said yes. We walked to my car together, calling greetings to friends that we passed along the way, until we reached my pride and joy, so to speak.
It was an electric-blue Hennessey Venom GT. The interior was all black leather, and I loved it. The fact that it was one of the fastest cars in the world was an added bonus, and I could tell that Vanessa was impressed.
Of course, I could feel that she was more impressed - and pleased, for that matter - when I opened her door for her. "Hop in," I invited her with a smile. "You'll have to give me directions," I said once I'd gotten in on the driver's side and started the car.
As soon as she told me her address, I had a pretty good idea of where I was going. She lived a few blocks from my house, as it turned out. I was wondering when her curiosity would get the better of her, and she spoke up as soon as we got going.
"So, what did you want to talk to me about that was so important?" she asked teasingly, and I could hear the smile in her voice. "You could have talked to me tomorrow, but you came to find me instead," she pointed out perceptively.
I hummed in acknowledgement. "I could have waited, but I didn't want to," I admitted freely with a shrug. "I actually wanted to ask you if you'd go out with me," I informed her, glancing over to see her expression.
She was watching me with a pleased smile and her blue eyes were sparkling, so I took that as a sign to continue.
"So, will you go out with me tomorrow night?" I asked her formally, choosing the following night since it would be Friday night. "I'd love to take you out on a date," I said sincerely, ignoring the small protest in the back of my mind.
It was the truth. I did want to take Vanessa out - I just wanted to take Jade out more. But just because I loved Jade didn't mean that I wasn't going to date anyone else, though I hadn't since I realized my feelings for her.
"I think that sounds great," she agreed, before adding, "as long as you're not expecting too much. It's not exactly a secret, so you might already know, but I don't get involved in serious relationships," she warned me, and I turned to her with a grin after parking in her driveway.
I nodded. "I know. I'm not looking for anything serious right now, either. I just want to take you out and make sure both of us have a good time," I said, and she grinned back at me once I told her that. "So, can I pick you up at seven tomorrow night?"
Vanessa agreed, before asking, "What should I wear? Did you have anything in particular in mind for us to do?"
Inspiration struck, and I decided on the spot that I wanted to take her to a concert that I'd heard was going on this weekend. It was a new band that I had a feeling she'd like, so I figured we'd have dinner at a small restaurant I knew of nearby before heading to the concert.
"Don't wear anything too fancy. Just a pair of jeans and a T-shirt should be good for what I have in mind, but I have a feeling that you'll like it," I assured her, pulling out my most charming smile. I knew it worked when the faint skepticism that I'd been picking up from her faded into gratification from the attention I was paying her.
"Alright, sounds good," she approved. "I'll see you tomorrow." She leaned over and pressed a light kiss to my cheek before getting out, but she leaned her head back in before closing the door. "You'll pick me up for school, right?" she asked teasingly, but I took her seriously and agreed.
"I'll be here bright and early tomorrow morning," I winked at her, and she laughed.
"Bye, Tori," she called, and I watched as she made her way into the house.
Once she was out of sight, I backed out of her driveway and headed home. It was official. I had a date with Vanessa Cleveland, and - much to my initial surprise - I was actually pretty excited about it.
Don't get me wrong, I was absolutely still in love with Jade. This wasn't some cheesy sitcom where the characters fell in and out of love a dozen times in a single episode, but I really felt good about getting a date with such a gorgeous girl. No matter how I felt about the fiery Goth, it would be good for me to go out and have a good time.
I held onto that mindset, and - with the help of several cups of abnormally strong coffee - I finished all of my assignments before midnight, before heading down into my basement suite. The entire lower level was devoted to being my bedroom, bathroom, and library.
Of course, I owned the entire house, but the basement was my sanctuary, aside from the new recording studio that I'd had built on the top floor. The renovations had just been finished a week ago and I loved it, but it wasn't as comforting as my suite, which had been mine even before I legally owned the house.
I quickly stripped myself of my outer clothes and slipped on a pair of dark blue silk men's boxers over my black lace underwear. I didn't bother wearing a shirt to sleep in unless I had friends over, though that was a rare occurrence. The majority of the time, we didn't really bother staying at each other's houses. We already spent so much time together that it didn't seem necessary, though Cat had spent more than a few nights with me before.
Fortunately for me, she didn't pick up on the fact that I was the only one ever here. If they asked, I wouldn't lie to them, but I wasn't really eager to make my family situation public, even to my friends.
I quickly finished up by brushing my hair and stretching a bit to release some of the tension that had built up in my body over the course of the day. The weird phenomenon that had plagued me earlier in the day wasn't forgotten, but I was feeling better about it after everything else that had happened.
It might take some getting used to, but I wasn't going to complain about it anymore. It wouldn't do me any good, and I was starting to think that maybe, just maybe this new ability of mine wouldn't be so bad.
A yawn escape my lips and I quickly finished up my stretches. As soon as I was ready, I slipped into bed and nearly melted when I felt how comfortable my bed was to my overly tired body. It was mere minutes before I fell asleep, and I congratulated myself one last time over getting a date with Vanessa. Still, I couldn't help myself when my last thought was, I wonder what Jade will think?
To Be Continued.
A/N: So, what did you all think about the new chapter? I feel really good about the new direction for this story, which is why I was able to knock this chapter out in less than twelve hours.
Of course, I'm sure that some of you are wondering why I've got Tori going out with someone other than Jade, but things will work out in the end. ;)
Also, Vanessa Cleveland is the property of Lynne Ewing. I borrowed her from the Daughters of the Moon book series, but none of the events in that series are relevant, which is why this story isn't listed as a crossover. None of the other characters will make appearances either, so...
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed! Let me know what you thought with a review, and thanks for reading!
~A Thousand Undiscovered Stars