Owens song

Class the next day started off normal. Mr. Smith took attendance and then started to teach English. Suddenly my cell phone rang. I answered it, trying to hide it from view, "Hello?"

It was Jack, "Zorah it's me,"

I scowled, "This better be important."

"It is, you might have a bit of a shock this morning because…"

He was cut off by Mr. Smith, "Zorah are you on your phone?"

I looked up, "Sorry Mr. Smith," I went down to my phone, "Nice going butt head I'm in trouble now."

I was about to hang up when Mr. Smith spoke up, "Say goodbye first, just because you're already in trouble doesn't give you permission to be rude."

I put the phone back to my ear and the first thing I heard was Jack going on and on, "Did you just call me a butt head? What makes you think you can talk to me like that? You are going to regret that comment young lady…"

"Jack I need to go I'll see you at home, bye." I hung up before he could say anything and handed the phone to Mr. Smith.

He went on teaching until there was a timid knock on the door, "Um, are you Mr. Smith?"

My head shot up, I knew that voice, "Yes," said Mr. Smith, "And you are?"

"Cameron Sanford sir, I'm new here." He glanced over at me, "Zorah?" he didn't sound surprised so he obviously expected me to be here.

"Get out Cam."

He shook his head, "No, this is my new class, I'm supposed to be here."

I got up and smacked him right across the face, "A year, a whole year and you come back. I haven't gotten a letter for a whole F***ing year! You broke your promise to me!"

He looked at me apologetically, "Listen Zorah I didn't mean to…"

"No!" I interrupted, "You listen! Your last letter said you had met someone and then the letters stopped coming, they just stopped! What the hell am I supposed to think!" I turned back and grabbed my bag, "Sorry Mr. Smith, I have to go home." I shoved Cam out of the way and ran down the hall. I got out the manipulator Jack had given me and hit the button. I appeared in the hub and my head exploded with pain. I ignored it and ran into my room. I slammed the door behind me and grabbed the songbook.

Just talk yourself up and tear yourself down
You've hit your one wall, now find a way around
Well, what's the problem? You've got a lot of nerve

So what did you think I would say?
No, you can't run away, no, you can't run away
So what did you think I would say?
No, you can't run away, no, you can't run away
You wouldn't

I never wanted to say this
You never wanted to stay
I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you just threw it away
You threw it away

I'm not so naive, my sorry eyes can see
The way you fight shy of almost everything
Well, if you give up, you'll get what you deserve

So what did you think I would say?
No, you can't run away, no, you can't run away
So what did you think I would say?
No, you can't run away, no, you can't run away
You wouldn't

I never wanted to say this
You never wanted to stay
I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you just threw it away
You threw it away

You were finished long before
We had even seen the start
Why don't you stand up? Be a man about it
Fight with your bare hands about it now

I never wanted to say this
You never wanted to stay, well did you?
I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you just threw it away

I never wanted to say this
You never wanted to stay
I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you just threw it away

I let my anger out on the page. I started to cry again, I just get over him leaving and he comes back and makes it worse. Why does this happen to me? Why did I have to be born? Why won't they just let me kill myself and end my suffering? I looked at the knife I hadn't bothered to pick up last night and grabbed it. I put it to my wrist and cut. I heard the team banging on the locked door trying to get in but I didn't care. I could feel physical pain, I forgot about the emotional pain, it felt good.

After a few minutes they were able to pick the lock and run inside. Gwen grabbed the knife and gave it to Ianto, Owen took my arm and Jack took my other wrist preventing me from doing anything to hurt them or myself.

"Let me go!" I tried to kick them but Jack grabbed my legs and pulled me up so I was lying on the bed. "Jack you idiot let me go!"

He had a firm grip, "Zorah you're hurting yourself, this is for your own good."

"This is ridiculous, Jack let me go right now or I swear to god! Ow!" Owen had put disinfectant on my arm and it stung like hell.

Owen looked right at me, I was still fighting, "Zoe if you don't stop moving I'm going to have to sedated you, and you know god damn well I will."

I sighed and stopped fighting, "I hate my life. As soon as I get over Cam he comes back and ruins my life. He doesn't care about me anymore."

Owen continued to wrap my arm in a thick bandage, "He came back?" I nodded.

Jack spoke up, "I think you should give him a brake, that's what I was trying to tell you on the phone earlier. He came back because his foster father was abusing him; he was forced to write that letter. Zorah, ask to see his right arm, you'll know."

I shook my head, "That might be, but he still left. I knew that he would get taken away I still fought back! He just walked out the damn door!"

Jack sighed, "He wanted to show you that it was okay to let him go. That not fighting was the best thing to do because it would happen anyway. Just give him a chance, please?"

I sighed, "Fine, let me go and I will give him a chance to explain." He let go and I sat up. "Don't you ever restrain me like that again."

He smirked, "Grab her Owen." Owen grabbed my wrists and forced me onto my back.

"No!" Jack straddled my waist and out his hands on my sides.

"This is for calling me a butt head." He started to tickle me and I screamed. "Apologize and be happy and I'll stop."

I laughed, "I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" I screamed.

"Are you going to cheer up?"

"Yes, now stop!" He stopped and got off me. Owen still kept his firm hold on my wrists. "You know you can let go now right?"

He grinned, "That was Jacks deal not mine."

I sighed, "What do you want Owen?"

He grinned wider and motioned toward the book still lying on the ground, "Tell me what that is."

I glared at him, "It's none of your business."

He shrugged, "Alright, suit yourself, Jack…"

Jack was about to straddle my waist again, "No! No, okay I'll tell you just get off!" Owen let go of one wrist and helped me sit up, keeping a firm hold on the other wrist. "It's a songbook. I started singing and writing songs after Cam left. There I told you, are you happy now?"

He thought, "No, there's still one more thing."

"What?"

"Sing us one of the songs."

I shook my head, "Not going to happen."

He grinned and shrugged, "Alright, Jack…"

I stopped Jack and turned to Owen, "I hate you, fine look through the titles and pick one." He flipped through the book until he came to one.

He handed me the book and pointed, "This one."

I rolled my eyes at the song he had chosen. "Really?" he nodded. I sighed and started to sing.

Don't cry to me, if you loved me
You would be here with me
You want me, come find me
Make up your mind

Should have let you fall and lose it all
So maybe you can remember yourself
Can't keep believing, we're only deceiving ourselves
And I'm sick of the lie and you're too late

Don't cry to me, if you loved me
You would be here with me
You want me, come find me
Make up your mind

Couldn't take the blame, sick with shame
Must be exhausting to lose your own game
Selfishly hated, no wonder you're jaded
You can't play the victim this time and you're too late

So don't cry to me, if you loved me
You would be here with me
You want me, come find me
Make up your mind

You never call me when you're sober
You only want it 'cause it's over, it's over
How could I have burned paradise?
How could I? You were never mine

So don't cry to me, if you loved me
You would be here with me
Don't lie to me, just get your things
I've made up your mind

I finished and put the book down, "Happy?" he nodded too shocked to answer. "Then let go." He let go of my wrist.

"Zorah," said Jack, "That was beautiful, why didn't you tell us you could sing?"

I shrugged, "It never came up."

He raised an eyebrow, "Oh yah? What about…so what is it that you do in your room? You always lock yourself in there?"

I sighed, "It was one of those things no one knew about me."

Owen nodded, "And another thing, why did you roll your eyes at the song I chose?"

I laughed suddenly, "I'm not telling you that because you'll get mad and attack me."

He rolled his eyes, "I won't get mad."

"You swear on your life?"

"Yes."

"Okay," I hesitated, "Well, I kind of wrote this in the eyes of every girl that you shag when you go out the bar." Jack burst out in hysterical laugher, leaning on the wall for balance. Owen jumped onto me and attacked my sides. I screamed, "You swore on your life you can't go back on your word."

Jack looked over at me, "Enough Owen." Owen stopped and got off me, I grabbed the songbook and my pencil. I scribbled something on the sheet. "What are you writing?" I smirked and showed them the sheet. I had crossed out the title and written on top 'Owen's Song'. Owen blew his top and full on attacked me while Jack stood back and laughed.

(the songs I used in this chapter are For A Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic by Paramore and Call Me When You're Sober by Evanescence.)