A/N - Here we are, Chapter two just like I promised on Sunday. Again I'll repeat myself here before we get started. I won't always do this at the beginning of each chapter. Maybe just the first three or so.
Story is Kingdom Hearts, I do not consider this a crossover with Final fantasy since all characters present exist in the KH world.
LGBT. I prefer not to use the term yaoi.
Mild language, Dark themes such as some forms of schizophrenia, Depression, Anxiety, Dealing with loss and grief.
Acts of violence. Maybe some anger issues in the future. Rated M for these reasons.
If these subjects are touchy for you, I'd advise to read with caution.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the current characters mentioned in this chapter except my OC Alina. The only OC's that will be in this story are in fact, parents.
Now then, let's get started
CoDependent
o2 - Transfers
There are great disciplines from being a sportsman that you can transfer into being an artist.
The preparation, the sacrifice, the constant desire to improve
- Matt Smith
When both redheads returned home their mother Alina was in the kitchen already cooking dinner; something that took Axel off guard and happily surprised him. Normally she would arrive home later in the evening, closer to when the sun was setting. Shrugging the thoughts off he placed his bag on the island bar, the noise causing his mother to turned around; wiping her hands on a small dish towel as she smiled over to him.
She was a lady of decent height; Axel guessed somewhere around five foot and six to seven inches or so. Her frame was rather average and her skin a pale complexion. Long softly layered red hair fell from a ponytail she wore high on her crown and her eyes were a contrasting violet blue that she shared with her daughter. Alina's features looked much younger than that of a thirty eight year old mother.
"Well you two are home early." she pointed out.
"Actually no.." he sat down in a chair, "You're the one home early. Today was only orientation."
She hummed in acknowledgement as Kairi made her way up to her room, "I got off my shift early for a change. So what are you going to do for the rest of the day?" she asked him, turning around to turn the stove off.
"I was actually thinking about fixing the piano and then maybe taking a nap or something."
"Oh?" she turned back around from the stove to face her son, "Nice to hear that you're taking an interest again. It's been awhile since I heard you play.. about half a year I think? Maybe more. So, how's your schedule this year?"
"It's okay.." he muttered lightly, picking at the hole forming in his jeans, "My classes aren't as spread out as before and since I'm a senior I get out earlier now since we don't have break."
"That's good." she said going to sit down at the bar herself, "Did you see any of your friends?"
"A few of them yeah.." Axel said laying his head down on the bar, "But today sucked.."
"Oh? Why's that?"
He sighed again, noting he'd been doing that a lot lately, "I sorta noticed this morning that uh.. next week, uh yeah."
"Next week?" his mother tilted her head in confusion. It may have been her imagination but it seemed as if her children were moving further and further away the lest she understood them these days, "Listen Axel, honey.." she started off, "I know we've never really talked about a lot of things, but if you have something on your mind you can tell me." she placed a hand over his, "Now.. Is this about school starting next week?"
Axel groaned internally, "I just noticed this morning that next week is that day." he emphasised strongly.
She lifted a brow, almost edging him on, "That day for what?"
Dear Shiva and all that is cold.. a voice rang in Axel's head.
"When.." the redhead finally just sighed and pulled himself together as he firmly stated, "They left. Remember? When they just got up and drove off without a single word or explanation.."
His mother sat there quietly, letting her son's words flow through her mind before gripping tightly to the hand placed beneath hers, "I'm so sorry Axe.." she placed her other hand over her mouth, huffing her breath in light of the information. Her heart beating faster as she visibly started to pick at her lips, "I didn't realise that.. I just.. haven't really thought about them for awhile now.."
Axel returned the grip on his mother's hand and gave it a firm squeeze , "It's alright mum.." he replied with a strained smile, "I think I've been avoiding the subject for a really long time.."
"Me as well." She admitted, "I knew it was around this time of year but.. so soon? Oh sweetheart I miss them all so much." she let out a long deep breath, "A whole year.. I hope they're alright." she let go of her son's hand, turned the barstool so that she stood up then made her way out of the room, down the hallway and out of sight.
The redhead continued to sit there, flipping his hands back and forth between each other on the table as he took the time to look around the kitchen. It really didn't seem like a year had past them by. Time moved by so quickly.
He could still picture his friend standing next to the sink as he sprayed water at the redhead. The two of them cooking for their chefs class, both sitting around, sharing meals with the family. All the holidays spent in this kitchen, his house. His home.
He could picture it as if he were watching it happen again. Quickly shunning the thoughts however, Axel closed his eyes for brief moment; just a blink and let everything slip from his grasp as he sunk back into the chair. Those things hadn't of actually happened. Things like that didn't belong in a world like this. He'd have to learn to let it go.
When Alina came back into the room her eyes were slightly red and her cheeks puffy as she placed a small box on the bar. She glanced to her son, the two of them staying quiet for a moment before he pulled his keys out of his pocket. He handed the lanyard over to his mother and watched as she took the smallest bronze key and slid it inside the lock.
Axel watched intently as his mother lifted the lip to the treasure box. The inside was draped in red felt and the dark oak still smelt strongly of wood. Inside it contained a small book, a few cards and a couple of rings along with some other small trinkets. Alina grabbed the book, an old photo album and wiped the dust off it's cover. The binding creaked as its heavy packed down body was opened up for the first time in years; revealing the amount of photos that had been taken over the course of time.
The young teenager seemingly went through a journey as he watched his mother go from a baby to a small child. She was always with her best friend in most photos and Axel watched them age. From school field trips to a day in the park. Holidays and school events. Their first dance, first prom, first everything always together.
Alina had a gentle smile on her face as she flipped through the pages of years and memories. She lightly placed her hand over her heart, then moved to touch her son's hand gently; pointing out a picture from many years ago, before the redhead and his sister been born.
What Axel saw was his mother and her best friend. Young and happy, both with shorter hair as they sat on the swings in the park downtown. The two of them with wide smiles as they both held onto their stomachs and leaned their heads in together, "That's you and your sister in there." his mother pointed out, "We both found out we were pregnant around the same time. Though I was a whole month ahead of her. It was a dream come true."
Axel lifted his brow and smiled at his mother, "Why's that?"
"Well." she started off, "There was no better feeling than growing up with my best friend. We were like sisters; she and I did everything together. To become mothers together was just an experience. And to think we both had our own set of twins no doubt. I'd never felt such happiness."
Looking back down Axel really peered into the photo. He could tell that the two girls in the picture had the brightest hopes for the future. Which seemingly brought down a wall of darkness in his heart. To think.. that those girls couldn't comprehend the what the future would hold for them. They just look so innocent and so happy. It was a shame really.
Axel turned to ignored the photo album as he reached inside the box pulling out cards that sat in the bottom. Most were 'get well soon' cards from a long time ago when his mother had been in the hospital for a minor surgery. Smiling lightly he remembered their tiny family reunion thanks to his mother's exploding appendix. He hadn't seen the rest of the family in a long time.
Placing those back inside for his mother to look over later he reached in for the rings. There were four of them in total. One was a thick silver band that dented in the middle in black; another the opposite. A thick black ring with a dented silver lining. The other two were small golden rings that he faintly remembered being told once that they were promise rings his father had given his mother years ago when they had first met.
The redhead nudged his mother's shoulder, showing the promise rings to her. She smiled softly and lifted the photo album to show him another picture of her. It was a matching photo to the last. Her and her best friend just a year later sitting on the same swings only this time with matching sets of twins in their arms.
With dinner done and over with, hands dry of dish soap and dishes placed back where they belong; Axel excused himself to his room. Face planting down onto the bed with his arms stretched out he glanced to the ring he had placed on his left thumb. Alina had told him that those rings were his father's. That he had made them during his high school days in a metal's shop. Said he could keep them, so Axel choose the black one with a silver lining, yet it only seem to fit his thumb and index finger.
Alina.. deep down her son felt more at peace knowing he wasn't the only one having a hard time. It wasn't just him dealing with all the confusion. Yet despite what should have been a comforting thought, this suddenly brought an ache to his heart. Even if they could go back and look over their memories; he figured they would just be painful.
Groaning in frustration he rolled to his side and curled himself into a tight ball. Thinking only bought him sorrow. Smiling faces on photo paper only crushed him.
So he sat up and with a quick close of his eyes the thoughts were gone as if they were never there to begin with. He was good with blocking out things when he needed to yet tapping his finger along his leg made the ring more apparent. Something about that brought the memories straight back and he furrowed his brows.
People at the school said something about new students and from what Xalden had said they sounded like retransfer students. Which meant that they were students who had gone to school there before. Meaning the redhead had a high possibility of knowing them.
I'm pretty sure everyone knows them..
Especially you..
Axel tried to shake off the thought but Aerith was quietly stunned by the sound of it. Xalden spoke of a year absence. Even Demyx seemed off as well as Kairi; whom wasn't like herself all throughout the day.
Axel started to question whether people around him were avoiding the subject with him on purpose. That or he was just being really unreasonable. Paranoid in a sense. It wasn't that big of a deal; at least.. it shouldn't have been.
"Kairi.." the redhead mumbled out loud.
Moving his body to get off the bed, Axel tread his feet across the carpet to his door; which he slowly opened and peaked his head out into the hallway. Leaving his door open behind him he walked down the hardwood floor to his sister's door at the end. Her door was slightly ajar so he leaned his head in to see Kairi was laying on her bed, bottom pressed against the wall as her legs laid flat on the vertical surface. Headphones were tangled up in her hair and Axel could hear the vibration of music playing from her phone.
Axel knocked harshly on the wooden frame of her door in an attempt to catch her attention. Kairi's head instantly titled back to see her brother standing awkwardly between her room and the hallway. She then flung her legs away from the wall so that she could roll over to sit up in her bed. Her brother took this as a sign to come on in and made his way over to a circle chair in the middle of her room. He plopped down into the cushion as Kairi pulled her headphones out and wrapped them up to put away.
"Y'know that didn't look so comfortable." Axel said pointing up towards her wall with his hand briefly.
She chuckled a bit as she glanced back towards that wall, "Surprisingly it was. So what's up?"
To which he replied with a shrug of the shoulders, "Iunno."
Their exchange of words seemed like an innocent enough conversation starter but it was actually a way to get an idea on their emotional state. Axel's choice of words and actions letting his sister know that he wasn't well and that something was up. Siblings usually had closer bonds and with the two of them being twins made it even more apparent; their lack for words in order to communicate and being each other greatest source of emotional support to show for that. Sharing a womb with someone was a beautiful yet strange phenomenon.
After a little bit of silent Kairi finally lifted her head to voice her concern, "Y'know Axe.. you've had your head in the clouds all day. Something bothering you?"
Smirking a bit he avoided the question with his own concern, "I could say the same about you honestly. Are you okay?"
"I didn't sleep." she admitted, "I was up all night talking to Riku.. He overheard a while ago about some transfer students and was really excited. And well.. I can't get my mind off of it."
He sucked his lip in between his teeth, "Yeah.. same actually."
"It's hard isn't it?"
Shrugging his shoulders he flipped through the photo album on his phone as a distraction, "I guess so.. I sorta panicked this morning only to realised that this day next week is that day. I mentioned it to mum and she like.. totally spaced on me and then cried ye."
Kairi let out an airy laugh, "Yeah that's mum for you though.."
The male sibling however caught her underlying tone and blurted out, "Y'know, you've actually seem kinda angry all day."
"Like I said, I was up all night talking to Riku." she folded her arms, "He keeps filling my brain up with ideas.. won't shut up about it."
"Cause he thinks it's them?"
"See now I don't want to be an ass but I don't think so.. Or well.. I dunno.. If it is them I'll be surprised and all sorts of emotional."
Axel's stomach flipped when a thought hit him, cause he knew he'd been doing it all along as well, "I feel like.. everyone's avoiding their names on purpose.."
Kairi blinked at him for a moment but arched her brow up, "Only you would notice that.." he shrugged and she continued, "Just because they're re-transferring students doesn't mean that two of them, that the four of them are coming back. I highly doubt it and everyone's excitement has me down in the dumps. I dunno, maybe it's just me."
"No I get it. I think I'm doing the same thing. I don't want to get too excited thinking it's them just to turn around and have my hopes shot down the drain." Axel sucked his lip back in and looked at his sister through the corner of his eye, "But what if it is them.." he murmured silently.
"What would make you think that?"
He glanced up to her before shrugging his shoulders, "Xalden came in while I was in Aerith's office, mentioned two brothers. Aer seemed a little surprised and to me it seemed like Dem avoided the subject around me all together. Maybe I'm just imagining things though. Like I said, no names so it's hard to tell."
Kairi simply sat there looking at her brother as he searched her eyes for an answer, but she looked away; scrolling through her phone as a distraction. She wasn't going to answer any questions and he knew that. So licking his lips he leaned back; eyes wincing up into the lights. Thoughts on how weird this all was and reminding himself that the definition for weird was something strange and unusual, suggesting to the supernatural. Then silently congratulating himself on remembering something like that.
"What do you think?" he asked anyway.
Sounding slightly frustrated that her brother was pushing the subject further, she sharply lifted her gaze onto him, "Look Axe. I would love to tell you 'of course it's them' just like Riku." she tilted her head slightly, glancing to a random location in her room, "But after everything that we went through. After your... y'know.. I don't want you to get your hopes shot down. I don't want to get my hopes down. I already feel you slipping back again. Don't you?" she stated more than asked.
His eyes dulled, sparkles playing behind them as the ceiling light faded everything out into a bright white, "Just a little.."
"Stop staring at the light." She blurted out, causing her brother to close his eyes tightly and reach up to rub them, "Keep that up and you're going to need glasses."
"Whatever." he said before he crossed his arms in the chair.
Kairi watched him for a moment as he sulked in his sudden bad mood and tilted her lips in thought before asking, "Do you want to camp out in your room tonight?"
This pulled Axel out of his soured mood a little, "Sure." by camp out the twins meant sleepover; which included video games, movies and lots of junk food; something they both did when they were upset. Which he didn't blame her for being; he was fairly upset as well.
A minute with silence passed by and Axel stood up reaching over to ruffle his sister's hair before leaving her room in favour of his own.
Leaning back over, Axel wiped his forehead with the back of his arm as sweat seemingly dripped down into his brow. A small strained smile graced his lips as he looked over his piano. He had neglected it for long that cleaning it became a must and took a few hours. Getting the dust out of from all the nits and crannies was a chore in itself. He was just finishing up wiping the residue from the wood polish and was pleased with the outcome. It wasn't perfect but the permanent scratches bought character to the instrument.
After already tuning the strings back all that was left was to drag his music out of the closet and start playing. He wiped his hands off onto a clean wash cloth and walked towards his closet, yanking the doors back he searched the top shelves for a box; finally picking out the right box, he tugged it down from it's place and dropped it down to the floor. He opened the box and pushed back a few things before he found the folder that kept copies of all his pieces but once he flipped the folder open he was brought on by disappointment.
He stood there, blinking a few times before glancing back down to the box that he had dragged out of the closet. He slowly plopped himself down onto the floor, tucking his legs in as he searched throughout the box. A good half an hour passed and he had pulled out everything from the box and torn through a few others that sat in his closet. It was nowhere to be found. He didn't own much to begin with; a dresser, a night stand, a bed and a entertainment centre with TV. It's not like his music had anywhere left to hide from him unless he had thrown it away and forgot about it. Though he doubted he had done that.
So making way out the room and down the stairs, he caught his mother in the living room. He waited quietly and stood next to her as she sat on the couch till she lifted her head at him, directing her attention with a 'mm?'.
"Have you seen my music anywhere?" he asked.
She lifted her brow to him, "Is it not in your room?"
"I looked everywhere and I can't find it."
Alina's brows furrowed in confusion, "That's odd. You didn't throw it out did you?" Axel shook his head in answer, "Hmm well I'll keep an eye out for you." she offered a smiled and went to carry on watching her show.
Sighing in response he simply made his way back into his room and to the folder to stare inside of it. It was odd; he only ever put sheets in, never taken them out. Not for anything. A knock on his door frame caught him off guard and brought him out of his thoughts.
He turned around and saw his mother had her head poked in through the door, a hand resting on the frame, "Listen honey.." she started off, "about Friday.. If you want to stay home I can have Kairi-"
"Don't worry about it mum." Axel cut her off with a shrug, looking back to his empty folder, "We're just going in for our class syllabus. I'll be done by lunch again."
She hummed in response, "Well if you say so, but if your change your mind it's okay with me."
"Alright.." he looked to her as she gave him a worried smile before turning around and going back down stairs.
After a moment of silence and staring back and forth between his piano and the folder a voice finally decided to ask him a question.
Why did you stop playing?
"Iunno.." Axel replied, reaching out to close his bedroom door, lest anyone hear him talking out loud to himself.
Why did you stop?
"I just didn't feel like it any more." he muttered with a roll of his eyes.
The voice dimmed down to a whisper in the back of his head.
Maybe he'll help you with that feeling.
Axel furrowed his brows at this but the voice answered his silent question.
Your friend, of course.
"I don't know anyone, sorry." he said smugly, moving to sit down on the bed.
Of course you do.
"I don't know who you're talking about.." he muttered, laying down in his bed as he slowly bundled himself up in his blankets.
Don't play dumb with me. You only started playing that piano because of him. Open your eyes. Look around you. He's everywhere.
"Shut up." Axel growled in his throat, pulling his knees up and burying his face. He wanted it to stop, to be reassured the voice wasn't real; the idea did not settle right with him.
Maybe if you'd stop acting like a child. Fine. Lay there and mope. Let's see how far it gets you.
"Shut up.." Axel whined into his bed, hands moving closer to hold his face.
Don't stress yourself out asking something when you already know.
Axel's mind started to reel as he couldn't handle any of it. He didn't know anything about anyone; didn't want to know anything about anyone. Especially not any more, so his voice rose in frustration, "Shut up."
The voice however kept on taunting him in the hollows of his mind so lifting his head and glaring at the wall across from himself, Axel shouted out, "Shut up! Shut up. Shut up. Shut. Up." the redhead chanted to himself.
In reality his bedroom was quiet and he knew this. He knew that the only voice that was filling the air was his own. It was impossible for it to be this noisy and yet there he was. He knew it wasn't real, knew that it couldn't be real but his head spun and a fever rose throughout his body. So Axel finally took hold of one of his pillows, violently shoving his face into the soft fabric and released everything that was building into his chest into a ear shattering scream. His lungs exploded as his head throbbed in response; screaming loud enough his voice crack and an itch formed in the back of his throat.
Axel slowly felt the onslaught of a panic attack creeping its way through his muscles. He sat up in bed real quick and placed the palms of his hands over his eyes and slowly pressed them further and closer in. Trying hard to hold in the pressure that was building up inside of him. A small sob managed to past through his lips causing a whole tidal wave the erupt from within. A blood curdling, painful sob broke through his throat. He sat there like that, palms pressed into his eyes as he sobbed the pain out; finally pulling his hands away from his eyes causing his vision to explode into white before colours scattered across his walls.
For a split second he was sure he had caught a glimpse of his friend.
Axel shot up from his bed; breathing heavy with a hand over his mouth and his eyes wide open in horror. He frantically searched the walls of his room before letting out a shaky sigh; running an equally shaky hand down his face and through his hair. The feeling of deja vu twisted his stomach. He threw the blankets off of himself and made his way into the bathroom. He pulled a towel up to the toilet for his knees as he held the sides of his hair back as he leaned over into the bowl. Gagging and coughing he emptied his anxiety ridden stomach. Tears falling over his burning cheeks as he moved to lean against the wall after flushing the evidence down. His breath came in and out in small quiet sobs.
He reached up to wipe his face of the tears and saliva, relief washing over him as the episode seemed to pass over his body. Axel had managed to calm down before the door creaked open, followed by the sounds of feet padding over towards him then a hand on his shoulder.
"Axel?" Kairi's voice hovered over him. He stayed quiet as he heard the sink running and soon a cool towel was placed on his face.
As his head throbbed he murmured out, "It was just a panic attack.. I'm sorry."
She shook her head, "Shh.. it's okay. I thought I heard you crying so I came in to check on you." she said as she placed the towel on each of his cheeks, "Glad I found you before mum did."
"Don't tell her." he begged.
"Of course not." she almost sounded offended, "She wouldn't understand."
Once in the bedroom the taller of the redheads noticed that the two voices began to mix in his head as he was asked questions.
Are you okay? mingled with, "Do you want to go to sleep?"
His head felt light, vision blurring and he was dizzy but he managed to shake his head no.
But you need it was mixed with his sister's, "But you look like you're about to pass out."
Axel scoffed as he moved to lay on his side, sister walking over to the window to pull the curtain back.
What's wrong?
The male teen murmured quietly enough his sister wouldn't hear, "Just go away."
With that said the presence hovering over him was gone, leaving a wave of exhaustion to wash over him; filling the void in his stomach and calming him down. Locked up memories flowed freely now that their captor was too tired to conceal them. School field trips to birthday parties flashed through his mind. Sleepovers to everyday things, pranks and tears mixed with laughter.
Axel buried his face into his pillow as he went over the last memory he had of his friend, sleep taking over his body despite not wanting it to. Kairi slipped down amongst the sheets and pulled the blanket over the two of them. Her face turned into a frown as she watched the silently crying frame of her dear sibling.
He was slipping back just like she thought, or maybe he had already gone back to that dark place again. His mind not able to cope the thoughts she knew he was repressing. She wanted to say something, ask him if he knew. If he finally let himself accept it.
Then Axel spoke up. His voice a broken whisper within his cracking voice. Shoulders shaking as he silently sobbed and all it took was one name and suddenly Kairi didn't know how to feel about the situation any more.
"I don't want to see Roxas."
A/N - Well that was that for chapter two. Sorry for the emotional roller coaster. Again I'm sorry that the story starts off slow. The next chapter is where things start to get interesting I promise. Unless you already find this interesting then thank you. Please do Fav/Follow it means a lot to me. If you see anything wrong with the grammar or my spelling let me know. I'll fix it quickly. Reviews would be nice to let me known how my grammar and word usage is. Are chapters too short? I'm not sure actually. Anyway I already have chapters 3-14 written up. Just need to edit them and I will post a new one every Sunday Central time.