Well, I'm finally back on my regular computer. Lookin' good except that the thing won't play sound. So that means that there will be no YouTube or Cinnamassacre or Screwattack or Smosh or Animeseason or most of the other sites I like. So I got off relatively easy. … … … SCREW THIS, I WANT TO FUGGIN COMPLAIN! YOU KNOW HOW ALL COMPUTERS HAVE THIS FUNCTION WHERE IF YOU PUT IN MORE THAN ONE CD A DAY, THE PLAYER BREAKS? WELL I SURE AS HELL DIDN'T! "Why don't you just take it to Best Buy?" WELL APPARENTLY, THEY, IN ALL THEIR WISDOM AND MIGHT, CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT'S WRONG! 'Inhales.' AAGGREESSSSSSIOOONN! 'Flies up into the air and looks down at Best Buy.' KIAOKEN TIMES 9000 BIYATCH! 'Down at Best Buy…' "Hey Ted." "Yeah Bob?" "Got any idea about that giant ominous red light in the sky?" "No clue Bob." KAMEHAMEHA TIMES ONEMILLION MUTHAFUGGA. "Hey Ted, what do you suppose that bright blue light is?" "Well Bob, I'd say that's our fresh shipment of agonizing and not-so-instantaneous doom." "Oh is that all- wait a minute WHAT THE FU-" BOOOOOOOMM! , HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! Hahaahahhahahaha- ehem uh, please enjoy the fiction.

"Change me back Vexen!" I was practically steaming with unbridled rage, if you could imagine a one ft two caramel brown rabbit that was unable to resist the urge to twitch his nose, steaming.

"Well, you see, the difficulty with this is that it isn't something I want to do. You see the problem?"

I think one of my ginormous ears popped. "I don't think I asked what you wanted. Do it."

Vexen did not budge but his smile widened by about 187 percent. "You seem to forget your place. You are the second lowest ranked in the Organization. For you to think that you can order me around-"

"And YOU seem to forget that number Seven is the second in command. Number means nothing. Now change me back or I swear that I'll… I'll…"

"You won't do anything as I am protected by plot shielding."

"What."

"Yes, you see the author's brilliant mind allowed him to say that you cannot use your thus far unseen powers so you can have a dramatic unveiling at another place and time. Also, the fourth wall means nothing to me."

"What."

"Plot shielding bitch."

"As much as this confuses me, I should inform you that my super ears hear a set of boots approaching your door. You may want to hide you perverted experiment."

But at this point the clone was already hidden behind a curtain that concealed all possible light that would emanate from the tank. As the footsteps halted outside the door, Vexen was making a visible effort to smooth his features as if it were crucial to his survival.

The doorknob turned while the door itself slid open with a creak. In stepped none other than the Grand Poobah himself.

"Alright Vexen, I'm here. Now what were you so insistent on dragging me down to see? I suggest you make this quick. Larxene is stuck in a tree again, and you know how pissy she becomes if no one gets her down within an hour."

"Honestly, this is the third time in two weeks. Anyway, I was bored, so I-"

"Dang it Vexen, what the fruitcake did you do? You see this is why I bought you those Sudoku books. Whenever you get bored, you wind up doing something that makes me want to turn you into a creeper. And not the pathetic Nobody kind."

"…" Vexen waited. "You done interrupting me? Okay, as I was trying to say, lookit!" Xemnas scanned the room and apparently saw nothing of interest. "Down there sir."

Xemnas looked down at me, standing and tapping my left foot like some kind of cartoon. There was a swish of hair as his head turned toward the scientist. "Is that…" Vexen replied with a short, satisfied nod. Before I realized that he was not going to turn that idiot into a fine, spreadable paste, Xemnas had already taken out a digital camera from inside one of his sleeves and snapped several shots.

Looking into the screen, our wise leader said, "That. Is. Hilarious. But you should change him back."

Vexen looked appalled at the idea. "Why would I ever want to do that?"

"Because, if he is still a rabbit by the time the author gets off his lazy ass and reveals his power, then you will be turned into slightly less than a fine, spreadable cream. That enough incentive for you?"

Vexen looked down at himself. "I believe I like my body composition the way it is currently."

"That is what I thought. So, hop to it Vexen." While the awful pun still hung in the air, he let out an uncharacteristic guffaw and waltzed (literally) out of the lab.

Vexen was mumbling something about dancing classes paying off and turned to march toward a table along the far left wall. Looking over his shoulder, he said, "We're done here, for the moment."

Confusion? "What do you mean by 'done?'"

His gloved hands reached into a cabinet positioned above the table and retreated with several vials in their grasp. "Simply that the process of creating an antidote will not take ten minutes. In truth, I am not even certain of what chemicals I used, since I grabbed many at random and I have a bit of a labeling problem. In fact, the only thing I remember clearly using was extract of bunny." Setting them down on the table, he reached back inside fumbling around for something that clinked, a beaker, I presumed. I was correct as always. "The first course of action will be to replicate the formula. Once that is done, I will have to analyze all of the ingredients used and counter test a few more random chemicals to deduce their opposites. When all of that is finished, I will have to combine all of the chemicals, adding in a sample of your own genetic material." He reached into a small box on the table and pulled out… a pair of sterilized gloves that he slipped over the ones he already wore. "When that is done I will need to boil the solution so the recombination phase can begin. After that, the antidote will need to cool for thirty minutes."

I hopped over and onto the table muttering, "Is that all..?"

"Oh, yes." Vexen put a hand to his chin for a moment, then looked down. "That is, barring any unexpected occurrences."

As if on cue, there was a crashing sound and a loud explosion coming from a few floors up. "DAMMIT XIGBAR!"

"BUT YOU SAID TO SHOOT ANYTHING RED!"

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO SHOOT ANYTHING RED! ESPECIALLY MY FIRY EXPLOSIVE HAIR GEL!"

"Oops... I'M HUNGRY!"

"GET A SANDWICH!"

"NO!"

I am so doomed.

"In any case, I assumed that you would not go quietly, so I sent a dusk to fetch someone."

KNOCK, KNOCK!

"Ah. That must be her now," the psychopath said before light spilled into the lab.

Looking to the door, I saw Xion poke her head in. "Hey, I heard that you called for me?"

"Indeed Xion, come closer and look what I have for you." Vexen never peered up from his work, even while talking.

Xion walked over slowly, taking her time until she caught sight of a certain ball of fluff. My ears bled as an extremely high pitched squeal split the very air into fourths. A painful glance at Vexen showed that he was wearing ear muffs. The slimy bastid. Looking back at the black haired banshee nearly made me hop backwards as she suddenly materialized a few inches from my face.

"You see, Jexsam here agreed to be your pet bunny."

My eyes shot to Vexen's face. "I agreed to what now?"

My question was never answered as I was caught in a bear-like grip, my blood, bones, and vital organs slowly turning into a smoothie inside of Xion's grasp. "Oh, boy! Just what I always wanted. My own little bunny rabbit. I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him and pat him and rub him and caress him and-"

"NOOOO! Vexen you can't be serious!"

"Now run along Xion," Insanity said with a wicked grin.

"Thanks Mr. Vexen." With those words, Xion began to bound out of the lab with me in tow.

Okay, I admit, that one kind of got away from me. I had originally planned to end it with this chapter, but I got a little too happy with my work. So instead of two chapters it may have four. I will try my hardest to end the story with the next chapter, but I make no promises. Perhaps I should speak of inspiration. I had read an Orgy thirteen fic a while back about things that happen when Vexen got bored and ever since then, this story took shape in my head. Really, I intended it to be something entirely separate from HW, but the more I thought about it, the less convinced I was that any member could fill this role since none of them are evil enough to be a bunny. Besides that, I had to come up with an excuse as to why the character would not just squash Vexen as if he were a grape until he made the antidote, and plot shielding was the only thing I could come up with. *Facepalm.* Man, I am awful.