Disclaimer: I don't own the movie "To Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar" nor any of the wonderful charactors or actors. I don't own Harry Potter for that right is belonged, exclusively, by JK Rowling. All I own are my own ideas (hehe, get it?)
Warning: This includes Cross-dressing, Drag, some Chan and OOCness of some of our fonder characters. Remember kiddies, its called a "fanfiction" for a reason.
'Thoughts'
Noxeema Jackson: That might be all fine and dandy but still have a lot more to learn before you become a full fledged Queen, my dear.
Vida Boheme: Patience mon cheri. You will know when you've done them. Noxeema our Dutchess of Protocol will inform you.
Noxeema Jackson: [laughs sarcastically] That's right just sit back. Auntie Vida's gonna make you a big ol'queen don't you worry.
Viridian Boheme was a lot of things.
She was fashion forward and fashion conscience; which she would have to be with her two Aunties raising her.
"If ever was there was a lesson that needed to be taught to people of the world is that fashion rules all."
"What's fashion Auntie Vida?" little Viridian had only ever heard that word come from her previous aunt, the one Auntie Noxee called a bad name that made her be placed in the corner of bad wigs.
"Fashion is the air we live and die by, fashion is everything from the clothes on our backs to spring in a poor man's step, fashion is a giant sea of possibilities, fashion is every gay man's essential tool whether he accepts it or not, fashion is us. And we are fashion." Was the spiritual rant given by her coco colored Aunt. Auntie Boheme politely applauded shortly joined by the young girl making the woman give a gracious curtsy.
"Anyway m'dear, as your Auntie Noxee just explained, fashion is a very important thing. But let's get one thing very clear: fashion doesn't make the person, the person creates the fashion. You could be the most beautiful queen in all of New York but have personality of a toenail clipping, that my dear is not a fashionable person. Now say you were a bit…"
"Fugly?" Noxeema provided.
"Aesthetically unpleasant," Vida countered, "but had a rainbow of personality, loved and cherished by all, then you would have fashion."
Little Vera looked down at her scared hands and the throw-back clothes her aunties had found at such short notice and couldn't find one thing fashionable about herself and told them that. Both older women merely looked at each other before grabbing her bony hands ("I swear I don't think I'll look at tea and James Bond the same way again!" Noxee muttered furiously) and took her to their favorite drag headquarters, Madame Wong where they fished out a certain…entrepreneur.
"Ladies! What ever can this lowly man do for you this fine as wine night?"
"Johnny, we have a bit of a stiff order for you. Think you could handle it?" Vida asked quietly serious.
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidtwas a man of many things, with his word being the main one.
"Darling no matter what you ask the only thing stiff would be my tall love for you and your chocolate strawberry colored friend here." Noxeema bared her teeth in an almost feral smile.
"Honky please, you wouldn't know what to do with it once you had it." This, unfortunately, just made the shady dealer laugh fully unperturbed by her viciousness.
"Meow, kitty has claws." Before a fight of epic proportions was to break out Vida butted in.
"We need you to get papers." John looked curiously at her. "Vida love, you coulda gone to the China Mart down the street if you just wanted papers, what's the real deal you gals are looking for?" Both glanced down at the silent young child that had hidden himself away behind his guardian angel making the man's eyes soften and crouch low to his eye level.
"Well hello ducky, don't think I've seen you around here." He offered his hand. "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, at your service." Bright green eyes peered curiously up at him hidden behind thick curly eyelashes and an even curly black mane of hair.
"Y-you mean like the rhyme?" he asked softly making the man's smile widen. Such a cutie.
"Why of course! Don't tell me, it's your name too right? I get that a lot, can't go down the streets some days without someone calling it." Finally a tiny giggle bubbled over from him bringing smiles upon all the faces. It would seem that the crooked flirt was good for something after all.
"You see Mr. Schmidt, we want this little darling to be ours, and no one else's. And we assumed that you would be the one to see about such details, am I correct?" Vida's voice was the closest it's even been to actual desperation and he could see it to. One did not survive long as a con artist without picking up certain attributes; his was assembling a big picture out of small facts. Facts like, the child with them wasn't even an American run away more likely the British Isle or possibly Australian. Another would be that wherever he came from did not treat him as best as they should from his nearly skeletal frame, limp long hair, but calloused hands. He could also sooner guess that they were physically abused from the shifty gaze of the child, by the way he always steered clear of anyone else's touch besides the two women, and how frightened he was when he had lowered himself down to his level. Oh yes, John had noticed all and the only big picture he could find was that they were in much better hands.
"I'm guessing you ladies already have a name planned out otherwise you wouldn't have contacted me so quickly." Their relief was palpable as they nodded in unison but surprisingly it was Noxeema that answered him.
"Viridian Loretta Devine Jackson Boheme."
Carol Ann: I love you Ms. Vida Boheme!
Vida Boheme: [hugs Carol Ann] I've waited my whole life to hear those words said to that name. And I'm very, very, very happy that you're the one to say them.
According the acquired birth certificates, social security cards, insurance, and medical records Viridian Loretta Devine Jackson Boheme came into this world on the twenty first of June and was born a healthy vibrant little girl…with a few added appendages. Her mother was a Miss Vida Boheme, of the Manhattan Boheme's, while her godmother was a Miss Noxeema Jackson, of the Bite Me Jesse Jackson's.
The space for the Father's name was Eugene Swartz.
"Who's he Mummy?" little Viridian asked when she first laid eyes upon the certificate. Both Vida and Noxeema gave a short look to each other before coming up with a quick lie.
"You know the stork right sweetness?" the little girl nodded making her new bangs flop into her eyes. "Well that's his official name. And when he delivers special little children like you then we use his special official name. You understand sweets?" she nodded again with a soft smile on her lips.
"Yes, I love you Mummy. And you too Mama Noxee." Both women let out a sigh of contentment before ruining it with a squeal and surrounding the girl with hugs, kisses, and exclamations of bigger love.
Vida Boheme: I think tomorrow is a "Say Something" hat day.
"I don't wanna go! Why are you sending me away?! Did I do something bad? I'm sorry! I'm sorry Mummy please please please don't make me go!"
Viridian Boheme was in tears nearly staining her pretty new dress that her Mothers had just gotten her for school, and she was excited that she could actually go this time except for one tiny fact.
She forgot her Mothers couldn't come with her.
"Sweetness we discussed this, it was hard enough getting you into this school don't you want to meet children your own age? Have fun on the playround, learn new things, play doctor with a cute little African boy named Kibwe and learn about his name sake…"
"Noxeema!"
"What? I'm just trying to be helpful!" It obviously hadn't helped seeing as the small girl was clinging to both women for dear life. Finally Vida took the her by the hand and led over a bench placed in front of the school and sat the tearful little girl on her lap. "Vera dear, you know that no matter what you do that your Mama Noxee and I will always love you and would never trade you for anything." This declaration finally got most of the tears to stop she looked up at her mother's face with her large green eyes still watery. "Really?" she asked quietly.
"Really."
"Nothing?"
"Absolutely nothing."
"Not even a next season Prada bag?"
"Prada? Please, everyone knows that Dolce and Gabbana is the new thing, now stop with the water works. We're not abandoning you and we'll be right out here when the bell rings at three." Vera looked into both the women's eyes to see any hint of a lie in them and when she found none she delicately wiped away any signs of tears using her small handkerchief with an African wildflower embroidery (courtesy of lessons from her Mama Noxee) and tucked it back into her small clasp while shouldering her bright pink and blue stripped backpack.
"Three o'clock right?" she asked them before heading inside.
"And not a second later." Her cocoa-skinned guardian replied with a slight snap of her extended bright orange nails. Vera gave her mothers one last look before walking into the seemingly giant brick school house leaving the two mothers to drink away the morning's troubles in a bottle of their favorite White Zinfandel.
Vida Boheme: Carol Ann, if we're going to be friends, there really is something I should tell you...
Carol Ann: Adam's Apple?
Vida Boheme: What?
Carol Ann: Adam's Apple. Women don't have Adam's Apples, only men have Adam's Apples. The first night that you came to town I noticed that you had yourself an Adam's Apple.
Vida Boheme: Then, then you know?
Carol Ann: I know, that I am very fortunate to have a lady friend who just happens to have an Adam's Apple.
The years passed with little Viridian growing into a happy and somewhat well-adjusted young lady. After the first day fiasco and the afternoon reunion, she learned that school could be fun even without her Mothers there. She even made friends, friends just for her! No bullies pulling her hair or chasing her. No one calling her a freak and shoving her into things, but honest to goodness friends. The little girl babbled on a mile a minute about them constantly making her mothers think that sending her to that private institution a good thing. Even if it did weigh a bit heavily on the bank. But what was family for if not to spoil a bit? And boy, was she ever spoiled!
"Mummy! I-I can't have this i-it's too much! Too fancy, where would I ever need to where this?" the now nine year old girl was standing on a stool in a small boutique outside of Queens with short dress being hemmed for her petite frame. It was the stereotypical party dress: white taffeta dress with a ruffled underskirt and swirling white designs on the torso while an silk green sash made a bow on her left side. Of course the outfit wouldn't be complete without long white stockings the came right to the knee with a small bow on their fronts and dark green shoes, so dark they were nearly black, on her feet with a rounded point and a square heel. The only thing missing was another silk green sash only this one for her long ebony hair which her Mothers refused to cut ("Anyone can buy hair like this, you however own it simply by letting nature take its course. One day you'll see this as a strength. Trust me." her Mummy had said) and was now hanging to the lobes of her ears with her angelic curls making it seem wilder than it truly was. The years had really changed the young girl in more than just her looks, she stood taller now more confident in herself. She didn't shrink away from challenges but rather avoided them until it came that they couldn't be avoided and then crushed its very soul. Her Mama Noxee had taught her well. She was also still exceedingly polite with proper manners of a girl twice her age and modesty to match. Which was why they were even having this small discussion.
"Because dear heart, one may never know what a good dress could entail for the future. One day you could just sitting at home minding your own business when BAM opportunity knocks and you must answer it…in a fine taffeta gown." Her Mummy answered. Her Mama Noxee merely nodded her head in agreement.
"Plus you look darling and we are never above making you even more adorable than you already are." concluded her godmother making the young girl blush but smile making her eyes shine. Her eyes were something she personally took pride in. Back with the D-….the other family, staying in her dark cupboard for so long had made her eyes itch a bit, made things farther away than they really were, or just plain blurry. Now that she was out and about with her Mothers, all of that had somehow melted away. Like magic she mused. At that singular thought the bell above the door rang signaling more customers walking in. From their similar looks and appraisable wardrobe they had to be rather well-off.
The father was tall, at least six foot if not an inch shorter, with long white blonde hair that was tied to the nape of his neck with a leather cord. He was wearing the essential three piece business suit in a nice slate color with a silver tie and dark grey leather shoes. He also had a long mahogany cane with a silver snakehead nestled in his palm. His expression was neutral while his grey eyes looked around the store almost warily. His wife, for she had to be the wife for the band on her finger and the way she smiled at the man, was nearly his opposite. While not in looks since she had nearly the same long blonde hair only her's was a more white golden shade and was twisted into a long French knot to the back of her head. Her sleeveless dress had a lace rounded neckline while the rest was chiffon in a midnight blue coloring which hit to the middle of her knee showing off her long white pale legs and majestic feet enclosed in blue sandal stiletto. Instead the cold expressionless face of her husband her silver eyes were lit up in wonder going around the store babbling about how cute and positively adorable everything was and if only she had a little girl to dress up like those two up there and oh well she guessed she could always buy a hair band for that Parkinson girl and –coughs interrupt this next word– knows that nothing in this store could help that poor Bulstrode girl, and on and on and on. Lastly, but certainly not the least considering who his parents were, was a young boy seemingly Viridian's age. He too had white blonde hair matching his father in coloring while his eyes matched his mothers. He was dressed slate dress pants, a black buttoned shirt and slate suit jacked but no tie and on his feet were dark grey leather shoes also matching his father's. That said he too was trying to maintain a neutral façade but was looking around the store without faked interest until his eyes strayed to the magnificent creature standing on a stool near the back of the store.
He knew he shouldn't look, Merlin knows what his Father might say if he tried to court a muggle of all things but he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He decided that the only way to stop his wandering eyes was to actually talk to the girl so with a nod towards his parents he made his way over stopping short in front of her.
"Hello there." He gave her an award-winning smile making his white teeth nearly dazzle in the light of the noon sun. And of course made Viridian's blush seem that much brighter.
"H-hi." she responded quietly. He took in her appearance, now that he was closer, with a closer eye of detail. Lovely pale skin, large almond shaped eyes-and such a lovely shade of green-, curly thick eyelashes, longer and curlier ebony hair. Truly she had to have some magic, an inkling maybe to be this beautiful? He smiled up at her and took one of her hands (long thin fingers, no splatters of color like others her age, just a hint of roughness in her palms) and brought it to his lips. "Draco Malfoy, pleasure to make your acquaintance."
Her blush intensified with the soft kiss to her hand and, it couldn't be possible!, made her even lovelier than before. "V-Viridian Boheme, p-pleasure as well." Draco's eyes lit up at her name and tone. A beautiful appropriate name for her, and manners as well; this was turning into a delight.
"Please, the pleasure is all mine Miss. Boheme." With a final kiss to her knuckles he released her hand and inwardly crowed with pleasure when she brought it towards her cradling it.
"I know this seems a bit r-rude but, are you and your family European? British maybe?" Viridian asked. Draco's eyebrow raised slightly and he gave a slight smirk. "You are exactly right. You truly know your accents. Perhaps another person of culture has approached you before?" he teased knowing her reaction. Of course more color spread across her cheeks as her lips upturned into a smile. "No, I'm from Britain as well even if I don't sound it. I stay in the city with my Mummy, Vida Bohem, and my godmother Mama Noxee."
Suddenly the two women appeared from their hiding spots where they were not eavesdropping and came to greet the young aristocrat. After more blushing and giggling ("Get a grip on yourself Vida!"), the two were then introduced to the other members of the Malfoy family. Unsurprisingly Narcissa and Vida immediately hit it off talking of fashion seasons, little girls, and that just awful fashion show with 60's nostalgia. What really shocked the young preteens was when Noxeema and Lucius began discussing the stock market ("I guarantee you that a stop-loss order for your portfolio with help against any drops in the market, all this borrowing the government is doing is getting a bigger debt than mine at JC Penny.") While the adults greeted and spoke with each other, the children carried on their own conversation.
"You're from England as well? Are you and your Mothers here on a vacation visa?" Draco asked politely still staring up at the beauty on her stool.
"No, t-they adopted me and brought me here. I've got dual citizenship though, in case I ever need to go back." She gave a small sheepish smile making the blonde's stomach do a somersault. What was with this girl? Soon a boutique clerk came over with the much sought after green hair ribbon and began to speak in rapid Italian. Draco was fluent in French and Latin but was still in the process of learning Italian, so he only understood every third or fifth word. However little Viridian was nodding along with her cute smile of hers and answering just as fluently making his heart flutter with ever roll of her talented tongue. The older woman laughed at something the young girl said and soon had her curly tresses pulled back with the ribbon intertwined in the braid and a few strands to frame her face.
"Do you like it? Or do you like the color? There must be some reason you must be staring like you are." Viridian gave a slight smirk with a teasing tilt of her eyes, giving thanks to any deity that she didn't stutter. The young Malfoy's eyes widened nearly unperceptively but his smile grew.
"I do apologize for my staring, you see I was mildly stunned by your beauty." And like he thought, he was rewarded with an adorable blush. He extended a hand towards her and when she opened her mouth in question he beat to it by replying, "You don't honestly think I'd let you get off this thing by yourself?" Another blush answered his question as she placed her smaller hand in his and tried to step off the stool only to have her foot catch on something (air with her sort of luck) and she tumbled straight into the other's arms. Immediately Draco's tumbling methods came into action where he rolled with the impact so that the pair of them landed comfortably if not a bit shaken. Viridian began blathering apologies while growing redder by the second as she laid there on top of her new male acquaintance while he at something he hadn't noticed before.
Viridian had an adam's apple.
Granted, it was a tiny bud of thing, clearly not noticeable until one got close like he was here but the fact remains. This she was…
"Draco?"
He looked up to an almost angelic sight. Her long braid was over her shoulder, her large emerald eyes had small tears gathering in the corners while her lips were curled down in a slight pout. And he found staring up at this beautiful person, this creature of fairy tales, that he truly didn't care.
"You know, it should be nigh impossible, but I think you look even more beautiful from this angle."
The days that followed were filled with day outings and fancy dinners between the families until a tearful departure a week later with a promise of calls and mails. Curiously enough every time Viridian got mail from Draco there was an owl nesting right over their community mailbox. This wouldn't have seemed strange to her except it was the exact same owl each and every time. Odd.
Two years passed in this fashion with the two never lacking on communications until their eleventh year. During one of their monthly phone calls he told her about going to boarding school for gifted children and she told him about a new arts school that was over in Manhattan. Both were sad that their already strained relationship was going to be tested even more now, but knew that there was nothing else to do but hope for the best.
Noxeema Jackson: [to Chi-Chi] Step four: Larger than life is just the right size.
Viridian Loretta Devine Jackson Boheme was your average eleven year old girl. She put her push up bra and gel sacks on one arm at a time. She put on nude panty hose and non-visible underwear one leg at a time. She appreciated art in all its forms but was painter and musician herself. When her Aunty Cissa learned she wanted to learn an instrument she grew terribly excited and made sure to pay tuition for a private tutor for piano and cello lessons. For a while her Mothers were a bit strained on the cello ("No lady shoulder ever have her legs open for long periods of time for whatever reason." her Mummy had said) but once the screeching of a dying bald eagle had stopped ("Really Noxeema!") all three women were very happy they persevered. Viridian was also an avid reader; she read everything from the classics of Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights, and Frankenstein to the modern novels of Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, (best 10th birthday ever was when she not only received the book but saw the play with both her Mothers and the Malfoys!), Ella Enchanted, The Notebook, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and was currently working her way through the Series of Unfortunate Events. When she wasn't reading, painting, or practicing she was engaged in social activities with her friends from school: Adrian Yeingavich, Timara Robinson, Henry Rodriguez, and Elliot Damnk. She liked to think of them as the Fabulous Five of the school which made the boys chuckle every time. All of them knew of her –ahem– extra appendages and didn't care one way or the other. In fact Elliot was intrigued by it, she referred to him fondly as her mini-Freud.
"In a way you being in drag is like a rebirth from your former life. Back with your aunt and uncle you were Boy, now with your Mothers you their beautiful Viridian i.e. a girl." He had told her matter-of-factly.
"Or, she just likes the feel of silk and taffeta on her skin." Tamara had replied evenly making the rest of the group giggle except for Eli who only responded with a "What?"
However, no matter how normal she believed she was or acted, Viridian Boheme learned on her eleventh birthday on the twenty first of June that she was not in fact normal.
She was a witch.
An honest to goodness wand waving, broomstick wielding, potion making witch. And just to make things even more interesting, she had apparently been accepted into a prestigious magical school in Scotland. It was all explained by the short squeaky man that called himself Professor Flitwick who proved that magic was indeed real when he turned her Mama Noxee's orange purse into a dove, and after nearly half an hour of chasing him around brandishing a stiletto heel he finally changed it back. He handed her the acceptance letter as well as another piece of parchment (real parchment!) with a list of school supplies to be bought at a place in England called Diagon Alley. Her Mothers were, understandably, concerned.
"So you just up and decide to accept a child half way across the world because her previous family must have placed her on a list when she was an embryo and then cart her off to this boarding school without a tour or a meeting with a Dean or anything?!" Mummy Vida was the loudest.
Thankfully the Professor had come prepared and told them all about the school and even gave them a free copy of an automatically updating biography of the school promptly titled Hogwarts, A History. The next few hours were filled with answering questions about the school, the uniform, the curriculum, the grading system ("An 'A' is just barely passing?!"), the dormitories, the sorting ("But what if they change their minds? I just changed mine about my shoes twenty times in the last hour and actually changed them twice!"), the food, the teachers, and finally visitation.
"Generally, visits with parents on school grounds isn't needed."
"And why not?" her Mama Noxee had asked making the dwarfed man gulp.
"The Headmaster feels that allowing the children scheduled visits with their parents during the term could cause distress with not only grades but an increase in homesickness, and discord with one parent visiting one child but not visiting another."
"Yes well those parents can just pop in willy nilly to visit their children not only because they live on the same fucking continent but have the same fucking magical ability that we apparently lack from what I've been understanding so your just telling us that we should send our little baby to fucking Scotland and not even see if she's well-adjusted or happy because that's what your fucking boss 'feels'?! That has to be the longest and biggest line of bullshit since the portable toilets at the Million Man March!" knowing she was being sent to the corner for her deplorable language Noxeema just got off the couch and walked towards the bad wigs with her arms crossed and a slight huff. The small professor looked towards the remaining two women with widened eyes while they only looked on to see how he would answer her accusations.
"Well I'm sure that visits could be arranged between not only the Headmaster but also her Head of House." This was apparently the right thing to say seeing as little Viridian brightened considerably with the possibility of her Mothers coming for visits.
Soon tickets were given for flights to the UK, hotel rooms were paid for and reserved, and suitcases were packed to the brim with underclothes, make-up, day clothes, night clothes, evening clothes, noon clothes, hats, gloves, shoes, scarves, and accessories. The flight itself was rather calm until they got to the security gate where Mama Noxee scarred the security guards by asking that they at least give their numbers if they want a slice of her pecan pie. The spent the first two days in England looking at the sights and checking out the museums, especially the one where you could tour the Queen's jewelries, Viridian couldn't count on her hands how many times she had to forcibly remove her Mothers from the glass cases of crowns. Finally on the third day they followed the instructions given by Professor Flitwick to find the Leaky Cauldron and after much persuading getting them inside the rather dingy atmosphere. She then asked the barmen to please direct them towards the Alley where the first thing they did was go to the robe shoppe and scare the poor saleswoman to near tears with the way they rejected the required school robe.
"There's no room to breathe, no neckline, no hem, it looks like a giant black garbage bag made of cotton fleece. Fleece!" Mummy Vida had to fan herself erratically to calm down. That said she and Madam Malkin had long talk while Noxeema and Viridian took a more in depth look around the store stopping at dress robes. While her godmother nearly screeched herself hoarse at the lack of fashion sense the preteen continued her tour before she was barreled into knocking her into a rack.
"I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was-Draco?"
"Viridian!"
My part two of Life is a Drag series! Told you nay-sayers I'd finish!
Now all that's left is to finish up DOS, hehe^^"
Review with love please!