I realized I could make this a series of one-shots. This is almost two years after the first chapter. Tell me what you think..this turned out much longer than I planned. So this time, Beca's inner most thoughts. What goes in there *kroo *kroo what does the fox say...sorry couldn't resist.
The two of you are lying in bed together, under cool, clean sheets... naked of course. Chloe and you have since discovered other equally fun things to do while together. And This type of activity involved a lot of work-your sweat and all your effort went into it as it was a very hands-on activity...and it took a lot out of you...and you suppose now was break time...the time for recuperating, sleeping but you can't seem to. You head's abuzz with your thoughts and they won't let you rest.
So you're content laying awake while watching Chloe sleep...it came easily for her as she was so spent...but that was kudos to you as well. So...where were you, AH yes... watching Chloe while she slept was one of your many hobbies, it was borderline stalker territory that, but you couldn't quite help it...Chloe asleep, how she looked so peaceful, so at home in your arms; vulnerable almost childlike-... this was maybe your favorite Chloe look.
You weren't sure because you seemed to like how Chloe looked...all the time
Well she was beautiful, gorgeous there was no contesting that, and Chloe looked it doing almost anything, but she had particular looks doing particular things and some of them you loved more than most. So her peace-filled, uninhibited face was probably top 5.
The rest you think...Let's see...you loved her laughing face; her nose always crinkled and she sounded like a kid sometime when she laughed. She made the cutest sounds, even her snorting-usually disgusting on other people sounded adorable. It never failed to make you laugh as well when she got going...
Her smiling face- which wasn't that different from her laughing face when you think about it- but whatever... Chloe had a beautiful smile-and she had this special smile just for you, she'd always throw in a sly, sexy wink along with it...
You loved how it always showed in her eyes- how and what exactly she was feeling. Whenever she was overly happy, her eyes became really bright, almost blinding.
You noticed her eyes brightened considerably whenever you were around.
She also had the best 'I love you' face, it always so open- like she never ever thought of holding anything back... whenever she said it to you, you only had to look at her to know that she absolutely meant what she said, that she meant those three words with her whole heart.
And the other two favorites, well...those hot looks were entirely for your eyes only...You were one lucky girl having Chloe Beale all to yourself.
So it was understood... You were in love with everything about Chloe and for some reason or another she was in love with you too.
And yet, she scared you...you get scared sometimes around Chloe...no, because of Chloe.
Not that she is a scary person per se, because she isn't. She doesn't look or act at all freaky or anything close to scary...disregarding all the things said about gingers and their lack of souls...Chloe couldn't hurt a fly and she would never willingly hurt you...
but no, the reason you were sometimes scared of Chloe... was because of how she made you feel, how much she made you feel.
She made you feel... absolutely terrified.
Because you're so used to running, used to pushing everything and everyone away, you weren't one to deal. You never allowed yourself to feel this much before...to succumb to something as weakening, as scary as feelings...
You knew that you weren't the best at dealing with all these feelings, that you never were good at expressing them aloud...you found it harder than most... particularly hard when Chloe was awake when she was there almost forcing you, begging for you to confront how you felt.
She scared you shitless, but at the same time being in Chloe's presence also made your heart feel so full, so calm. Because her being beside you..laying with you always gave you a sense of rightness.
So in a way her sleeping like this was less scary...less overwhelming, with her eyes closed, no longer piercing-expertly reading you so well through your own.
You took advantage of these moments sometimes...no, not like that take advantage, but you doubt Chloe would mind waking up to that sort of thing...but no sometimes you liked to talk to her whenever she slept, you let everything out-you told her things you weren't brave enough to say when she was awake,
You'd whisper how much she meant to you,
How you'd never felt so strongly about anyone...
How scary it was, how scared you were putting yourself out there... but you also told Chloe that it was because of her that you wanted to be stronger, that you wanted to be better.
Sometimes she even replied, it always made you feel warm all over whenever she'd say your name, whenever she'd mumble responses, sweet nothings.
Several minutes pass like this in almost silence the only sounds...her steady breaths, you lean your head closer to hear her heart beating...
Her fingers are twitching, eyelids moving...You wonder what she's dreaming about.
You never used to dream...you thought those kinds of things-happy fairytale endings and all that bull, was a waste of time and all the effort that went into it should instead be reserved for reality, but that was until Chloe, until she came into your life and made you believe. Made you happier than you ever thought possible.
You're stroking Chloe's face, moving a stray strand of hair that has covered it...you're thinking of how there was this one dream...something you saw clearer and clearer everyday...a life time, a future, forever with her...and it would all start only if and when you give Chloe this something small, round, bright and shinny...it would fit perfectly on her finger.
and you are gripped right in that moment to say the words...two words that weighed so much, that could change everything... words that have constantly been floating around in your mind.
Marry me.
You already had the ring, purchased it almost two weeks ago...you've been carrying it around your pocket...making plans, a lot of plans but never actually doing anything,
You weren't the best at planning, yeah-your plans sucked, they weren't good, well thought out, or anywhere near perfect enough for Chloe. She deserved so much more than a ring in a champagne glass...romantic gestures didn't come easily to you...with your luck or your lack of it, she'd end up swallowing it and instead of you getting down on one knee, you'd be behind Chloe performing the Heimlich maneuver.
So you'd gone around asking for help. The girls have all given their opinions and while they have less than helpful suggestions-Fat Amy in particular had sent you many a link on 'dumbest marriage, or Hilariously Bad or Epic Fail proposals'...Like you weren't already nervous about messing the most important question in all of your life up.
If you were being honest...You guess the links did prep you on what not to do.
No proposing in landmarks or out in public like at all..there was the greatest chance you could drop the ring and loose it forever...you weren't being paranoid...one dude had proposed on the Brooklyn bridge and needless to say it had fallen through one of the cracks and onto the busy ongoing traffic below...
Another person tried it on the beach and it was the ring-not the girl that got swept away... by the waves.
You already covered not putting it in anything edible or drinkable...just anything digestible you don't want to have to wait around and have to go digging for it after. That was the least romantic thing ever. For better or worse my as-You refuse to even think of that...Euch!
So far what had come as the best advice, from nearly everyone was to be true to yourself ...
"C'mon Beca whatever you'll come up with- Chloe will love, even if it totally sucks, Chloe will just think it's perfect because you're you and for the first time you'll actually be puting in some effort into something besides looking like some wanna be goth, alt girl who think she's got all the problems in the world." Aubrey had said,
"thanks for the help, the boost of confidence, Bree" you'd said, "No prob." she'd replied,
"You don't give yourself enough credit...just...make it mean something to the two of you... something special..." said Stacie who was surprisingly a romantic at heart,
"You're over thinking it, sometimes the more simple it is... the better." ex-Jesse now turned best bud Jesse assured you the first time you'd attempted to propose and failed, thank God Chloe hadn't been there to see it, she would have outright, pointblank said no.
You're testing the words, letting it settle on your tongue...just two words...why was it so difficult to get out. Marry me. Ma-rry me.
Why was it so easy in your head...just say it...
Marry ME! MARRY ME! in your mind you're shouting it aloud to the heavens... but when you actually open your mouth it comes out as a whisper
"M-rry m-..." you mumble it out, and then gaining confidence you say it one more time still whispering but clearer..."Marry me." and you are such a little weirdo, you're suddenly so jubilant at finally being able to say it...you're giving yourself fist-pumps...when...Chloe's hand grabs yours...and you quickly turn your head and see Chloe's surprised wide-awake eyes boring into your own.
You jolt up shrieking,"What the f-" you move backwards until you nearly fall off the bed but Chloe's arms are quick to steady you, She still hasn't loosened her grip when she asks,
"Did you just say what I think you just said?"
"Uh-It depends...we can pretend you were dreaming...you sure you aren't dreaming right now..." you say feebly, wondering if there ever was a good way to get out of it...to take it back,
"Quit it Beca, serious question...serious answer." She looks so serious her expression set ...how were you supposed to admit something like that when she looked like she wanted to chew you out...
"Wait, why do you look so angry-I knew proposing to you would be hard, well I had all these scenarios of things going wildly out-of-hand but for you to actually not be happy about it...I thought I couldn't come up with a worse scenario that didn't involve me embarrassing myself well...I was wrong this... is way worse..."
"You think I'm mad that you proposed to me? I'm not..I'm just-Wait scenarios...have you been planning this, this wasn't just a spur of the moment thing?" She leaves the bed and you get a glimpse of the goodies before Chloe moves to get into her bathrobe, Aw Boo! She didn't need to do that, but yes they were a distraction from whatever was happening...wait where were you...yes...Chloe waking up when you were asking her to Marry You...you can't just say Nah I was just joking Advanced April Fools or something equally lame...
You might as well come out-No you've already done that...you mean come clean...
You silently slip out of the bed as well and move to get your bag-the one you always carried around and pull the small red box from one of it's many hidden compartments...
You bring it to the bed where Chloe had once again settled into, she's sitting up with her hands in her pockets, so instead of taking her hand...you put the box down in between the two of you..you're aren't on the bed you're on the floor you suppose you were meant to be kneeling but you're leaning back on your heels, waiting for her to open to it-to see if she at least likes the ring you chose, you had picked it out all by yourself...1.19 CT. Fancy Blue Princess Cut Diamond Engagement Ring 18k Gold Vintage Style, it wasn't anything overly fancy or expensive...but it was classically beautiful and when you saw it you immediately thought of Chloe- the blue was the same beautiful shade of her eyes. Well, it came pretty close.
You're kneeling now..."I know it's not much...it's not the Blue Diamond Ring by Bvlgar that cost millions of dollars...I know you deserve better, not just with the ring but with this whole proposal, with everything really...I can't say I'm not surprised that you looked so disappointed almost angry...because I should've at least...done this somewhere in public instead of being such a wimp..whispering it out like that with no one but the two of us to hear...The truth is I've wanted to tell you-to ask you that...I've been feeling like that ever since I first heard you whisper that you think you could love me...I mean it was still early on...I wasn't, I couldn't even be sure yet, but I felt it...I wanted you to be mine, to be with me forever."
You can't quite maintain eye-contact for too long- you don't want to lose your nerve...but you feel Chloe's hand find yours and squeeze it,
"This isn't my first fail at proposing, remember when you came home late and you said it smelt like fireworks and burnt grass and candles and such?"
Chloe nods, she doesn't say anything, you're wondering if she's been hanging around Lily too much...but her silence is letting you get everything of off your chest, "Well there was..a whole fireworks display...and candles...it was all elaborately set up...here in the apartment the CHLOE was on the first floor the WILL was on the stairs leading up to our bedroom and the YOU was on the floor or our bed then you were supposed to look out our window," you're gesturing with your hand...and her eyes follow it, her face scrunched up in concentration...trying to envision everything you're saying"- and right outside I was supposed to be standing underneath a beautiful display of fireworks...with MARRY ME? spelled in this firework set piece. I even had this song that I composed for you,"
"Okay so what happened?" She asks her curiosity getting the best of her, breaking her momentary silence. This is the part you didn't want to have to say, but while you're at it, you might as well say everything.
"It was all ready and perfectly set up and we expect you home any minute...and uh-I was going to head outside already but then you called the land line to say you were running late I ran and I was waving at everyone to call it off but they misheard me I guess and they were amped up and excited so Uh Fat Amy kind of let the fireworks go off but she uh aimed it the wrong way and in my haste to put everything out I tripped over one part of the set piece and it all fell like dominoes- causing it to exploded all over the lawn...So so much for my bright Idea-I only succeeded in making a huge mess...and spending on loads of candles...and cleaning up afterwards...we all pitched it for that...we also had to talk to some neighbors, some cops...Well Aubrey fixed it up in the end... right before you arrived."
You take a peek at her and you see her biting her lip, then covering her face, then her mouth, her shoulder's are shaking...wait is she really depressed because she just realized she's not only dating an inept, emotionally stunted person but also a major klutz?
But then you hear a snort, you can't believe she's laughing at you the nerve!
"You...tripped and burned down the lawn...Fat Amy set the fireworks too early...hahahah oh my stomach...how did I not notice all the mess I'm pretty sure you left some things here and there...that sounds priceless...I wish I'd seen that"
But she's lying on her back on the bed, she's holding the box to herself, and there goes the four year old laughing with abandon and you can't help but join in-on the laughter and join her lying on the bed.
"You were pretty tired. I cleaned all the wax marks when I woke up earlier, the next day." you say once you recover, and aside from occasional snorts, giggles between the two of you, it has become silent once again...you turn to face Chloe you lean on your hand...as you watch her staring-maybe inspecting the ring...
"So uh...are you gonna wear it or...?" She looks up at you, she's smiling, her eyes glinting mischievously when she gives you a quick peck on the lips and then says,
"I want to hear my song first...and then maybe I'll consider wearing it."
You roll your eyes, you feel so nervous but she was always meant to hear it sometime...sooner rather than later it seems.
"Go easy on me...Ahem" You'd rehearsed this with a whole band behind you, with the Bellas for back-up vocals. But you guess this way it sounded more raw, stripped down. It was a pretty cutsey song thinking about it, but it had felt- sounded right. Chloe's patiently waiting, giving you an encouraging smile, What the hell here it goes.
I wake up every morning and God knows I'm doing alright
I'm getting good at this pretending you haven't been keeping me up all night
And I've been racking my brains, and it's been driving me insane when I think of ways to tell you how I feel
That I've never been more sure, never felt anything so real
You'd think with all the love songs written through the ages, I've got no words, only blank pages
and there ain't no better way for me to say say this...
Chloe, You're the girl of my dreams
Cos' you're all I've ever wanted and you're not what it seems
Want to be with you every night, don't know why it feels so right cant seem to let you go
But I want you to know, I Love you so...
Chloe's eyes are shinning brighter than ever...her hands are gripping yours tightly,
"So uh...I'll sing the whole thing for you one day...but you get the gist... I Love you, and I'm not taking back what I said...this isn't what I'd envisioned when I was planning the best proposal ever, but I don't think it'll get any better than this...this is us, you and me...lying in bed sharing laughs, loving, fighting...this is how I see us now, and tomorrow and everyday after that... I want it...more than anything. So Chloe...so don't be pissed or angry or anything I just want you...to say Yes...to me asking you the most important question that I'll ever ask...at least for now..."
She rests her forehead on yours, and you grin practically, feeling the oncoming Yes...".And if you want I'll even perform your song in front of our family and friends at our wedding...or something..." Chloe abruptly leaves the bed just when you had been leaning forward to connect your lips together...you fall forward your face, and your lips make contact with the sheets.
"Chloe, I sang the song what more do you want," you can't keep the frustration- the exasperation from leaking into your voice, "the whole time you've been acting a little weird...I thought it was me but..."
She suddenly gets down on her knee..." I wasn't pissed...and maybe I was acting weird... because you were right, I was a little- no, not even a little... I was very, very...disappointed ..."
You heart shrinks a little at that, "I didn't know ...I don't know what you wanted I'm sor-" she cuts you off with one look...it doesn't look angry more like nervous now, "I was disappointed that...once, again you got to do-accomplish something, one of our important milestones first...You see," Chloe says taking out a little navy box from her bathrobe pocket, "- I was planning to propose to you too..."
"When...How, I mean what..." Chloe breaks into laughter, "I guess that's why Bree wasn't being helpful, see she was rooting for your plans..she didn't even bother to help with mine...She was so sure yours would work...I was planning a simple night together, like this...but when I came home from work you said you were tired...and the house smelt weird like burnt grass and fireworks...it kinda killed the mood." Chloe says winking at you, you grin widely at hearing that, you even planned to propose on the same night...that was another level of being in-sync...ooh nsync, That's right 2x It's going to be me...
Okay random...but you should be allowed... this... was weird, all kinds of weird. Your mind is completely blown...this is the last thing you expected...you thought you'd slowly start t drift off after watching Chloe sleep away for a few more seconds...
One second you were whispering Marry Me and now...you're engaged...well you will be when you get your ring onto her finger...
"...So I put it off until I found another day...the seventh I said..." Chloe continues,
"Wait seven? That's today...Oh!"
"I wasn't supposed to fall asleep..."
"I can only apologize...but no I won't...and I know you weren't complaining so..." you mutter trying no to sound too cocky,
"So let me do this the way I'd envisioned it..." She opens the box...and she takes out this gorgeous 1.81CT Blue Princess Cut Diamond Ring 18K White Gold
"Beca Mitchell..." She says slipping the ring onto the ring finger of your left hand, "You are...perfect for me, you are my counterpart, my other-half...my soul mate in every way...I know you feel like you were always lost, broken, and you think that it was me who put you back together again...but in reality it was you who found me, made me whole..don't you see, we were always missing halves, we were always meant to complete the other and now that I have you, I'll never let you go...I never want to be parted from you...ever."
"Woah...and I thought I sounded good, that was amazing...Oh yeah here's your ring..." You slip it onto Chloe's finger, Ha! you were right perfect fit! "Hey you got to put on the ring first...does that mean you win or something?" You say narrowing your eyes at Chloe who's putting an innocent look on, you don't buy it one bit.
"Let's just call it a tie, Babe." She says finally standing up, brushing imaginary specks of dirt off her knees, "Okay, fiancee...oooh that rhymed" you say before you pull her back into the bed, you roll 'till you get ontop of her...and you're happy she lets you.
"You are such a weirdo...queerdo..." she says, grinning happily from below you, her eyes at maximum brightness,
"Uh in case you missed it-two girls getting married...means we're both queerdo's..." you say before leaning down to kiss her, you're getting lost in Chloe's moans and the feeling of her tongue in yours when she abruptly pulls away.
"Break time's over" She says before she flips you over and starts making her way down, downtown...and really you think, resting your head back on the pillows, you don't mind Chloe taking the lead on this one.
Seriously, Best. Proposal. Ever.