A/N: This is an extremely twisted version of the John Doe 317 drabble fic and the no halo and one wing in the fire (Gabriel Bender) fic that I wrote in 2007. Bobby Singer, The Winchesters (Sam, Dean and John), and The Benders (Pa, Missy, Lee and Jerry) belong to Eric Kripke. I created everyone else. Missy is 16 when this starts out; she's 20 four years later. I also created a backstory for Pa Bender and his brothers. Much thanks to WaterNymph1970 for her support and advice.
What's in this chapter? Sam without Dean; Dean's whereabouts for the past four years.
Warning: This chapter contains descriptions of incest, cannibalism and violence. I don't go into overly graphic detail but trust me, you'll get the idea.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. This is for entertainment only, and not for profit.
Chapter 2 - mysterious ways
"Sammy Sammy Sammy," the demon inside Edith Craine rolled its black eyes, made a clicking noise with its stolen tongue. "You Winchesters are so damn predictable, you know that?" She tapped her fingernails against the arm of the wooden chair she was chained to. "Bored now."
Sam Winchester didn't say a word. He upended the bucket of holy water over her head and body and stepped back as sulfur smell and steam rolled off her in waves.
The demon screamed laughter. She rocked back and forth, twisted her wrists and ankles against the chains so hard that her left arm fractured. White jagged bone pierced her skin. Before Dean disappeared Sam would have been horrified by the sight of that. Now? It was something that wouldn't raise a pimple on Sam's ass, as Dean would have said.
"Is that all you got?" Edith snarled at last. She shook her grey head from side to side like a wet dog.
"You're gonna tell me where Dean is," Sam said quietly. "Or --- "
"Or what? You're gonna kill me and Granny here?" The thing rolled its eyes. "You talk a good game, but everyone knows you don't have the sack for this. Now if Big John was here, I'd be worried. You?" It sneered. "Please."
The demon looked up at the devil's trap on the ceiling directly overhead and yawned, her mouth stretching impossibly wide. The smell of sulfur got even stronger. Sam breathed through his mouth for a moment or so.
"If we had Deano, we'd let you know, Sammy boy. We'd torment you with him. He's been gone for four years. Four long years," the demon sang in a singsong voice, "and you've been alone all this time." She smiled a little as Sam's shoulders sagged slightly.
"See," she leaned forward, smiling. "I get it. I do. You're the civilized one, the emo one. Dean's the muscle. And he's not here now, is he? Tell you what, you break this trap of yours, unchain me, and I'll forget the whole thing. Leave me your cell phone number and if I find out anything about Dean, well, I'll give you a call. We can work something out. Otherwise," it cocked the woman's head to one side, "if you don't turn me loose I'll give Grandma here a massive heart attack. She's an innocent, Sam, same as you are. I can hear her screaming. You seem like such a nice young man. Please save her. She wants you to save her, Sam."
Sam reached for his back waistband. He pulled Dean's Colt 1911 in one smooth motion, with a two handed grip, and shot Granny right in the forehead.
"You stupid bastard!" the demon snarled. Blood and brains dripped down between its eyes. "Gonna have to find another meatsuit now…"
"No. You don't." Pitch black eyes widened as Sam slipped the gun back into his waistband. He pulled the journal out of his jacket pocket.
"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus…"
Sam read the words aloud, and the demon screamed.
The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, Ma used to say.
Well, Missy wasn't too thrilled with that notion nowadays. Damn Indian giver.
Before her life fell apart there were three things in life that Missy Bender was absolutely sure of.
First, she knew her Pa loved her. Pa never took back anything he ever gave her. He doted on her, worshipped the ground she walked on. He gave her any and everything she ever wanted, no matter what.
Jewelry, body parts from the people they hunted, whatever caught her fancy. She had glass jars filled with teeth and withered fingers, silver and gold rings and all sorts of necklaces, wind chimes made from human bones, pretty clothes and stuff for her hair.
Sometimes she cleaned the blood off as best she could; sometimes she didn't. She liked the way dried blood looked sometimes.
Second, she knew God loved her too, because God brought Gabriel to her four years ago.
Missy remembered Ma reading to her from the family bible when she was real little. It was nice, snuggling into Ma's side while she read about fire and brimstone.
"The Lord works in mysterious ways, Missy," Ma would say quietly. "You remember that now, girl." Ma was always quiet. She never raised her voice, not even when Pa hit her.
Missy liked Ma; at least, she didn't dislike her. One day when Missy was nine and Lee and Jerry were pretty much grown Ma just up and disappeared. It was the middle of winter, and Pa served up meat stew for a month.
Life went on, same as usual. Missy wasn't bothered much. She always was her Daddy's girl. She still had her brothers, Lee and Jerry, and Pa, of course.
And Gabriel too. She was just too young to realize it then.
His picture was in the family Bible, and a lock of his hair was taped to the back of the picture. His hair was sandy blond and straight, soft to the touch, and sometimes she'd sit there and close her eyes and just run her fingers through the hair over and over again. The picture was dog-eared around the edges, faded, and she used to wonder about the color of his eyes.
In the picture Gabriel sat on the front porch steps in his denim clothes and dusty work boots, and he was the most handsome man Missy had ever seen. His nose looked just like the noses she'd seen on the pretty people on television, fine and unbroken. She stared at his mouth, full and somehow delicate, turned up at the corners, slight smile, no teeth showing, and she knew that if he did smile his teeth would be bright white.
Gabriel was broad-shouldered and perfect. He looked directly into the camera. He was looking at her. Missy knew it for a fact.
She kept the Bible in her room after Ma left. She read to herself sometimes, but she liked it better when Pa read to her. She loved to hear about Sodom and Gomorrah, and she laughed when he read the part about Lot's wife turning into salt. That was funny.
Pa got this sad look in his eyes when Missy asked him about Gabriel one day.
Missy didn't like that look.
There were three brothers way back in the beginning. Pa's Christian name was Abraham. Jedediah was the next oldest, and Gabriel was the youngest. Pa explained his ma named the baby Gabriel because he had the face of an angel, and that much was certainly true.
Missy was sixteen the night Pa and Lee and Jerry came back with the boy. They laid him down on the couch, careful, like he was some precious thing. Missy could tell his left arm and left leg was hurt, probably broken. The left side of his face was dotted with dark bruises and blood, from his temple to his chin. He had a peculiar reddish purple bruise down near the front of his shoulder, on the left.
She took one look at him and forgot how to breathe. Blood, short spiky hair, broad shoulders, freckles sprinkled over the bridge of his nose like spilled salt.
"Gabriel," Missy whispered softly to herself.
Those long dark eyelashes fluttered open. His eyes were green. The prettiest, brightest green she'd ever seen. If they were gonna hunt him she would have asked Pa for those eyes afterwards, she would have searched for the cleanest glass jar with a lid she could find in the kitchen.
Pa reached out and took Gabriel's hand. Gabriel stared up at Pa, glassy-eyed. A dark shadow lingered over his eyes and his face, and then vanished into that freckled skin. His eye color darkened, to a slightly deeper green color.
"A-Abra-ham…" the boy breathed.
Pa froze, eyes wide in disbelief.
"…p-pleas'…dun' hurt me…any…mor'…" Gabriel's voice cracked a little, like that glass in the kitchen window over the sink, but it was still deep and smooth. Manly, Ma would have said.
Missy looked over at Lee. "Tough bastard," Lee whispered. "Pa hit him with the truck."
Lee and Jerry stood around, fidgeting, like they didn't quite know what to do next. Pa didn't even look around. "Go get me some sheets outta that back closet. " Lee and Jerry moved off and Pa raised his voice. He never turned away, never took his eyes off the boy. "And get me some boards from the barn. Two long ones, two short. Make 'em smooth. No splinters."
Lee and Jerry moved faster.
"Missy," Pa grunted, "get me that Bible, ya hear?"
Missy did. When she came back moments later Gabriel's eyes were closed. He was still alive and breathing, though; she could tell by the rise and fall of his chest.
"You know who this is?" Pa's voice sounded rougher than usual.
Missy nodded. She gripped the book with both hands. Hard. "Gabriel, Pa."
"That's right. We're not gonna hunt this one. He's a gift. God has forgiven me for my sins. Years ago I made a terrible mistake. I killed my own kin. He was innocent of what I accused him of." Pa's broad shoulders shook as he looked at the boy. "The Lord forgave me and sent my baby brother back to me."
Missy stood there blinking.
"Here." Pa reached out with his right hand, and Missy stuck her hand out, palm up.
Missy stared at the wide silver ring on her palm. The bracelet was bigger than her wrist. It looked like dark wire knotted up into a circle, and it wasn't all pretty and shiny like the other ones she had. The necklace had a small bronze face on the end of this long black cord; the face had horns. Missy ran her thumb against the tip of one of the horns over and over again.
She didn't know what she was feeling, and she wasn't sure she liked it. She didn't like seeing Pa this way. She had her favorite knife in the pocket of her dress and inside she felt all jumpy and jittery like water drops on a hot cast iron skillet. That made her want to cut something. Anything.
Lee and Jerry came back with the sheets and the boards. Pa stood up, grabbed one of the sheets out of Jerry's hand, and started tearing it into long, wide strips. Lee and Jerry stood there for a moment, and then because it was what Pa wanted, they started ripping up the rest of the sheets too.
Missy inched closer. She could see Gabriel's left leg looked a little twisted, even just laying there on the couch.
"Lee. Jerry? Gimme a hand now," Pa rumbled. Jerry went over to the head of the couch; Pa nodded. He took Gabriel's left hand again, and those wide eyes flickered open. They were bright, grey-green this time. They nearly glowed.
"Got to set your leg, and your arm," Pa said to him, softly. Gabriel just blinked. Missy didn't move. Pa pulled out his knife and started cutting Gabriel's pants and shirts off. Gabriel closed his eyes.
Misty just stood there, staring.
Gabriel's skin was freckled, on his face, chest, and back. His left side was bruised, dark and angry, from his arm all the way down his leg. His broad shoulders tapered down to a V shape, and his waist was narrow. That pleased Missy, although she couldn't say why.
He had scars over his body, and Missy bet there was a story behind each slightly raised stripe of skin. Pa wasn't shy about cutting all the clothing off, and he didn't tell Missy to move away either, not even after he sliced that black underwear off and Gabriel's manhood was exposed.
Lee fetched one of Ma's afghans from somewhere, the big crunchy brown, blue and white one, and covered Gabe up with it after Pa finished. The color of the afghan set off the golden color in Gabriel's skin.
Missy had been out in the barn the day Pa set the broken leg on one of Ma's goats. Ma was fond of goat milk, and she was fond of that particular little critter. They had four goats, ten or so scrawny chickens, six head of sheep, and two milk cows. Missy loved the taste of chicken, and when the family started eating the other meat, from the ones they hunted, Missy didn't mind that either.
Gabriel groaned out loud when Pa held his arm by the elbow and pulled it straight. It was a deep, breathy sound that raised goosebumps along Missy's spine. Lee moved in with the two shorter pieces of board. Pa put them on either side of Gabe's arm, from his wrist to his elbow, and he wrapped the sheet snug around the boards and the arm.
"Got a broken collarbone too," Pa muttered, and he folded a large square of the sheet in two. The sling looked like the one he'd made for Missy when she busted her arm that time climbing in the hayloft in the barn. Gabriel breathed in and out, fast, short breaths, kind of like the way that goat had when Pa attended to it.
At the time Missy wanted to use her knife on the goat, just a little stab here and a poke there, but Ma wouldn't have liked that, so she didn't.
Jerry lifted Gabe up from behind, held him up as Pa angled his arm over his chest, and then wrapped the arm to his body with a long strip of torn sheet so he couldn't move it.
Gabriel's back arched. He hissed, but he didn't scream out.
That came later, when Pa straightened out that left leg of his, right before he put the boards on either side, wrapped the whole thing up nice and neat, and not too tight. Gabriel's back arched again, and Jerry leaned over him, pushed his large palms down on both of Gabe's shoulders to hold him still.
Missy stared at Gabriel, watched the way the cords of his throat stretched long and tight. His eyes blinked open, filled with shifting shadows.
Pa gripped Gabe's hand. "Stay with me, y'hear? Stay with me now." Gabriel's eyes rolled up white. Those long dark eyelashes fluttered shut.
Lee wandered back with the happy box. It was a large tin box that Ma had used to keep spices in. Didn't look like much. It was pretty beat up, with faded out pictures of some castle in a forest somewhere on all four sides. Missy couldn't remember where Ma got it from. The box was special now because of what was inside.
Pa opened the tin, took out the first brown plastic bottle. He squinted at the label. "Vi-co-din," Pa said carefully. " 's for pain. Missy, go get me a glass of water now."
Grayson's Pharmacy, Hibbing, Minnesota. The pharmacist and the cashier cooperated during the robbery, but hell, Lee and Pa killed them anyway. The cops arrested some drifters for the murders a week later. Pa didn't mind that one bit. Let the law think whatever they damn well wanted to. He always said it was a shame that medicines and such cost so damn much. Man had to do what ever he could to care for his family.
Missy went into the kitchen and found the cleanest glass she could, filled it up nearly all the way.
Pa shook one pill out on his palm. Lee helped Gabriel sit up. His eyes blinked open, glazed over with pain.
"Come on now, Gabe," Pa said. "You got to take this."
Gabriel stared at him blankly. Pa pushed the pill between those full lips, then tilted the glass against his mouth. Gabriel sipped at the water until finally his head nodded back as his eyes shuttered closed again.
Pa pulled the glass away. Lee lowered Gabe gently back down on the couch.
"You go on now," Pa muttered sadly to Missy. "We got to make him comfortable."
Back in her room Missy sat on her bed and looked at herself in this big purple plastic compact she kept on her nightstand. Missy hadn't liked the girl who owned it. It was fun watching her run through the woods screaming and yelling the night she died. Missy enjoyed the hell out of that part.
The mirror was cracked on an angle, all the way across, but Missy could still see herself just fine.
She didn't like what she saw.
Her brown, shoulder length hair was tangled and dirty. Those yellow barrettes were something that a kid would wear. Missy dug around in her things, and she pulled out that tortoiseshell comb and brush. Ma used to brush her hair with it. It was one of the things she kept that Ma actually touched.
Missy pulled her hair up and back around her face.
Huh. She looked more grown up that way. She bared her teeth at the mirror. They were yellow. Crusty looking. Needed fixing. Needed work.
Gabriel was all shiny and pretty, and Missy wanted to look just as shiny and pretty for him.
He was hers. She was sure of it. Missy wanted Gabriel, God wanted her to have Gabriel. She wanted to get to know him, in a biblical way, of course. She was feeling something down in her woman parts, as Ma called them. She'd felt this way before, but never quite like this.
About a year ago she started letting Jerry touch her down there. It was all right, some days she needed the feel of a body rubbing up against her, and Jerry was more than happy to oblige her. They wandered off together nearly every day, the further away from the house and Pa, the better. Jerry grunted and groaned when he pushed into her, and sometimes she had to keep a straight face and not laugh. He sounded like a hog snuffling around after slop at feeding time. He bit her when he kissed her, and it hurt like hell sometimes.
Missy always kept her eyes closed until he was done.
Most days she was with Jerry in the morning, and Lee in the afternoon. Whenever she let Lee kiss her his mouth tasted like corn whiskey, chewing tobacco and dirt. He always came quick, quicker than Jerry ever did. Lee didn't make much noise. He didn't talk to her, tell her she was pretty. Well, neither did Jerry.
Missy guessed maybe they thought they didn't have to because she was their sister. Lee's fingers roamed all over and inside her body as though he was in a hurry, like he was hungry for her but he had to hurry up 'cause he had other things to do.
She didn't have anything else to compare it to, but Missy was pretty damn sure that was not how it was supposed to be. Gabriel's mouth would be soft and smooth, taste like bright, sweet sunshine. Her skin would sing underneath his fingertips, and her toes would curl right up. She knew that as sure as she knew her own name.
The third thing that Missy knew for certain? God wanted her to have Gabriel.
There was a reason she kept the bible. There was a reason she'd kept the picture all these years. God loved her, just like Pa did, and Pa wouldn't mind. Giving her Gabriel was a way of keeping it all in the family, and it was proof of God's love for her.
Later on Missy crept up to the doorway of Pa's bedroom. Gabriel was in Pa's bed, sleeping, pale and still. His left arm and leg was out, the rest of him was mostly covered by that thick heavy green and yellow quilt Ma made one winter. Missy stood there for a moment, stared at the way the part of his bare chest that wasn't covered moved up and down as he breathed in and out. She wiggled her fingers as she watched the slow rise and fall of his chest; she wanted to feel the muscles underneath his skin. They'd be hard and tight. Missy was certain of it.
Pa sat by the bed and Jerry and Lee hovered near the door. They still looked like they thought hunting Gabriel would still be a good idea, but they weren't about to lay a hand on him. Not now.
"Pa?" Missy felt shy all of a sudden. "Could I get some stuff from town tomorrow?"
Pa frowned. "Like what stuff?"
"Ummm, a toothbrush…" Missy scuffed the toe of her right boot hard against the hard wood floor. "Toothpaste. And some of that sweet smelling soap. Girl stuff."
"Toothpaste," Lee snickered. Jerry laughed. They always were damned fools.
Pa frowned, but he got what she was saying soon enough. He smiled a little, looked from Missy to Gabriel, and nodded.
She kept the little horned face necklace and the silver ring. The ring was too big for her finger, but it was his and she didn't want to lose it, so she strung it on the cord with the necklace and wore it that way.
She tossed the bracelet. It wasn't shiny enough.
"Damn," Jerry said slowly the next day. "You cleaned up real good." He looked startled when he saw Missy hours later. She'd taken a bath, washed her hair, then actually combed it. She put on the cleanest dress she could find.
Pa smiled. He seemed young again, and Missy really liked seeing that.
That was the start of her life with Gabriel. He was hers, but he didn't know it at first. Pa let her sit with him. She read to Gabriel out of the bible, even when he was sleeping. Missy could see a flicker of something dark in those wide green eyes of his when he was awake.
She liked that.
She fed him breakfast, lunch and dinner. He liked the thick meaty stew that Pa served up after the hunts. He took his pain pills until he didn't need them anymore. He didn't care much for salt in his food.
Missy never knew why.
Gabe had nightmares sometimes. More in the beginning, before he got better and could finally move around on his own two feet. He'd curl up in a ball on his side, hug his knees and shake and shiver. He stared at her all wide-eyed, talked to himself, muttered words like "Sam" and "Dad." His eyes were brighter, lighter then.
Missy didn't know who this Sam or Dad were, but if they were the ones who hurt Gabriel, then she'd have something to say to them about that if she ever met them face to face. That was bound to be interesting, because she usually let her knives do the talking for her. Missy still looked younger than her age, and most folks really didn't pay much attention to her because of that, until it was too late.
She helped Gabriel walk around the house, and then the yard when he felt better. She loved how solid he felt when he leaned against her.
They both had Pa's blessing. Missy wasn't exactly sure that Gabriel understood what that meant, until the night he scooped her up into his arms and took her into his room in the back. His mouth was smooth and soft, and she couldn't get enough of it. The feel of his tongue on her bare skin made her shiver all over. He whispered to her, told her all the things he was going to do to her with his hands, his dick, and his mouth.
He told her she was beautiful. He actually took his time. Missy felt like he was standing on tiptoe on the knife edge of the world, and when Gabriel rocked into her, all slow and deep, she closed her eyes, held him tight and gratefully let go.
When she came Missy dug her fingernails into Gabriel's strong, bare back. She bared her teeth and thrashed underneath him. It hurt and it felt so damn good at the same time.
When they were in bed together she always spent hours exploring Gabriel's body. She asked him about the scars, but he never could remember what happened. She whispered in his ear that she wanted to hurt the ones who hurt him, and Gabriel always smiled when he heard that. He didn't say much, but she listened when he did. That voice of his sent chills down her spine.
He seemed amused when he saw that necklace and ring she wore around her neck. Missy wore it all the time; she never took it off.
"Here. You want this back?" she asked him one time.
Gabriel just smiled and shook his head no.
Later on, when Gabriel could walk without help, they hunted people in the woods, same as always. Gabriel turned out to be damned good at it. Pa and Gabriel were relentless, silent as death. They'd look at each other and roll their eyes when Lee and Jerry started whooping and hollering.
Dumbasses.
Usually Gabe moved like a cat, quick and smooth. He had his bad days too. Missy could always tell. He was angry and confused then, and his left hip ached. His eyes were still green, but they were lighter, brighter in color, and he didn't seem to know his own name. Missy didn't know why, but she was afraid that he would try to leave her then.
When Gabriel's eyes darkened slightly, Misty learned to relax. It was safe. They were safe.
The bad days never lasted long.
Missy always suspected that something was wrong inside her. Lee and Jerry never used protection, and really, she just figured that she was lucky. She knew enough, knew as much as she and Gabriel fucked every day she should have a baby in there by now. She never said anything to him, but after a while Gabriel seemed to sense something was wrong.
One night she got really sad about it. She laid her head on his shoulder as they sat in bed. He put one arm around her waist, rubbed her back with his other hand, in small circles.
"If you want a baby, I'll go get you one," he whispered, smooth and deep.
She slowly ran her hand over his bare shoulder and arm, and the feel of his freckled skin laid tight and smooth over solid muscle made her shudder. God, he felt good.
Now that she thought about it, it was stupid to feel that way. There were plenty of babies out there. It was just a matter of picking out the right one someday. It would be like a shopping trip, better than growing one inside her. If God didn't want her to have one of her own, then there was a reason for that. It was for the best.
And besides, right now Missy didn't want to share Gabriel. Not yet, anyway. She nodded and sniffed nosily. "Maybe later."
Gabriel nodded, and held her even closer to him.
She never wondered where he'd come from, who his family was. That didn't matter. People came, and people went all the time. The only thing that did matter was he was hers, and if his own family couldn't hold onto him, well, to hell with them, too.
Missy never let Lee and Jerry touch her again after Pa gave Gabriel to her. They both tried to fuck her out in the barn the day after she and Gabriel first made love. Jerry slapped Missy's knife out of her hand as he grabbed her. He was bigger, and when she bit him on the arm as he held her down he just laughed.
Lee ran his hands down Missy's breasts and stomach. "This is ours, bitch," he snarled at her. "You were ours way before that fucking pretty boy showed up."
Gabriel walked up behind them just as Lee undid his belt and unzipped his pants.
It was Missy's turn to laugh at how scared Jerry looked.
Later on, when it was time for everyone to sit down and eat supper, Pa noticed that Jerry's nose and mouth was swollen. He had two black eyes, and he couldn't move his right arm.
Lee didn't eat that night. He said he had a toothache, but both his eyes were black and blue and damn near swollen shut. He looked pretty busted up too. He could barely move his arms when he did his chores the next morning. They both limped for days, and Lee always walked with a limp after that.
Pa didn't say anything. Neither did Missy or Gabriel.
They had four years together. Four good years. Then came the night that Lee and Jerry came back without Gabriel. Lee was shot in the arm, and Jerry was hit in the right leg. The person they tried to pull into the truck had a gun and started shooting. Jerry killed him with that hatchet he always carried with him, but more people were coming out of Kugel's Keg, and it was time to go.
Lee and Jerry didn't know if Gabriel had been hit. Didn't know where he was.
They drove off. They left him.
Missy cried and screamed and slashed at them with her knife. Pa just stood there, shoulders slumped. He looked old all of a sudden.
Later on that same night, Missy lay in bed with her tears drying on her face. She felt bad inside, but somehow she knew that Gabriel wasn't dead.
She knew. Besides, God wouldn't be that cruel to her.
She skimmed her fingers across the dark brown leather cover of her bible, and hugged it to her chest. The leather felt worn, old, like she did now.
Missy still believed, though. She believed with all her heart that God would make this tribulation up to her. Gabriel would find his way back to her, and when he did, she was going to kill all the bastards who kept him away from her in the first place.
Next post Monday. We're back to the mental institution. Buckle up, and be sure to take your meds.