Chapter 2,
The insanity theory had a lot going for it.
First of all looking more closely at the riders in the parade they had pointed ears, I mean I know that I have slightly angular ears, mine however do not come to an actual point. There was also a child with a beard and it was not stuck on and he had an axe. Who gives a child an axe? It looked seriously sharp. Then there was Penny riding a horse, on what planet could Penny ride.
I froze, there was a sudden happiness that spread through me at this wonderful realisation, someone I knew was here and even if I did not know where I was, at least I was not alone. Or if I was losing my mind at least there was a friendly face to go on that little adventure with. Though there was always the possibility that I was dreaming. In whatever reality I was present I decided that it could only be confirmed by Penny. So naturally I began screaming and jumping as though mimicking a headless chicken, if a headless chicken could actually do so.
"Penny. . . Penny! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . PENNY" Man that girl was deaf, "YO PENSTER . . . BIG P!" As long as she was not paying attention I thought I might as well have some fun. This was my last resort; I had to use the `forbidden` nickname she was ever so' fond of', no matter how much pain would be inflicted upon me later.
"PEE PEE PANTS" As soon as I echoed the first syllable she began scanning the crowd with a slightly bewildered death glare, moving her head this way and that but still managing not to see me. How that was achieved, I'm not entirely sure. Not only was I the one single person dressed normally but also every one of the surrounding parade groupies was at least half a foot shorter than me. Suffice to say I stood out, much like snow white amongst the seven dwarves and with the looks I was getting you would have thought I was dressed as a sumo wrestler. Now that really would have turned some heads.
Ignoring the attention, I noticed the herd of groupies had begun to move up behind the procession, if I was quick enough I could catch up with Penny and her new crew. Alas those groupies were too speedy; I was quickly surrounded so densely that it was not only my own elbows that were imbedded into my sides. They were strong people, I was basically carried forward following in the wake of those with a horse fixation. There was me thinking band groupies were obsessive and determined. The frothing enthusiast was a few groupies to my right; he appeared to be unconscious and was similarly being carried by the great horde.
As the initial shock began to wear off I was able to take in the pure white beauty of the stone and the enormity of the city as we passed building after building and gate after gate (it may have only been three gates). Each gateway was huge and extremely detailed they seemed to feature carvings depicting various stories. One even appeared to display something a kin to snow white and seven dwarves (the irony) all a part of the great hoax I'm sure.
By the time we had finally come to a decided halt, I was thoroughly uncomfortable and felt somewhat mistreated. Not only had I sustained dents in my arms and upper body from the tidal wave of elbows, shoulders and hands pushing and shoving, but due to a combination of the excessive flowers and less than welcome personal space invasion I had managed to retain numerous amounts of not just petals but entire flower heads within my bra. It was not as though my dress was low cut, so it only enhanced my confusion at the present situation so much so that I had become side tracked and forgotten why I had allowed the mob to engulf and maul me. There was nothing I could do to alleviate my current discomfort, I had no choice but to grimace and bare it.
This at least gave me some space to breathe as the strain on my face appeared to scare a few of the people surrounding me, each of them backing away from me.
With the sudden brake in the crowd I was able to see Penny's head. It was time to be ruthless; I began manoeuvring myself in a way that taxi drivers of the world would have applauded at. This was up until I reached the front of the herd and tripped. Even as I look back in remembrance I hang my head in shame. Not only did I trip but in a manner only I am master of, I was yet again air born heading straight towards a group of young children and an auspicious looking elderly chap.
Despite my unusually girly scream they had no idea what was coming I landed on the aging mans back completely flooring him. What followed was somewhat reminiscent to that of dominos, though thankfully on a smaller scale and exclusive to six people. I internally cringed as I heard a gasp voiced in surround sound.
Within seconds I was dredged up via the armpits by two pairs of metal in cased arms. The pair on the left belonged to the surly looking Greek god I had met earlier, who gave me a look almost as if to say he was disappointed. The pair on the right were owned by a slightly simple looking fellow, who was more rotund than young Greeky on my left. His mouth was lax and he had a simple yet good natured air about him with peacefully slack eyes. Unlike his disdainful counterpart he gave me a sweet smile, upon realising I was observing him, which I returned with just as much care.
Greeky cleared his throat giving Lax a warning look and at once his smile dropped and his head hung ashamedly as he turned to face forward. Greeky and Lax held me in place while I received quizzical looks from a variety of interesting looking characters. There was silence so I decided to break it.
"Sorry to jump on you, I was just trying to reach a friendly face, my mate Penny; who has managed to mysteriously disappear, so helpful!" I directed my apology to the five I had collided with, all of whom continued to look befuddled by what I was saying. The four children with, now that I looked, seriously hairy feet all turned towards some ruggedly chiselled dude in a spectacularly shined suit of armour. As the gloomy faced man before me retained the ability to silence and scatter not only the remaining groupies but also the five individuals I had played life size dominoes with I guessed he was the man in charge.
There was an ominous fear that I felt slowly grip me with each step he took bringing him closer this was only increased by Lax, who began to quiver slightly under his glower. I tried to step forwards to introduce myself but my muscular counterparts only tightened their grip on either side. So instead I attempted to address him verbally "Sorry to 'crash' the party" I grinned at the literal meaning of the phrase, expecting a reciprocated smirk to break the tense atmosphere but the ice remained solid. "I just needed to talk to my friend, to make sure this isn't a completely unfounded hallucination." I now see how this comment may have been insulting on some level but I can think of no logical explanation that yielded this result.
Mr Gloomsbury of the reflective armour appeared to be accessing my mental stability and at this point I was more than willing to plea insanity. Just as I began to feel that I was the single character of a silent film that seemed capable of vocal communication gloomsbury dictated some directions to Greeky casting me a disapproving glare.