AN: Just to let you all know, I am in school right now, so my updating schedule will be pretty irregular. I will try to post as much as I can though!

How to Understand a Hiccup

Chapter 2: Left-Handed Uselessness

It was a gloomy day on Berk, and to be honest, when wasn't it? Fog blanketed the sky, making visibility low for riders and dragons alike, practically confining them to the ground. Hiccup was in the process of following other Vikings to the Meade Hall for some lunch, when his prosthetic snagged on an unearthed tree root and sent him tumbling. He huffed, frustrated with the stupid hunk of metal, and got back up.

As soon as he stood up however, the sound of laughter met his ears. Snotlout just so happened to be behind Hiccup on his trek to the Hall, and he witnessed the spectacle that had occurred. He roughly pushed past the small teen, nearly sending him sprawling again. "Even after defeating a giant dragon you're still as useless as ever."

Hiccup stared at the ground beneath his feet, foot, as he had to constantly remind himself. Several thoughts ran through his head, and none of them were very pleasant. He once thought that killing a dragon would help get people to treat him better. Since that didn't work at all, he thought maybe after saving them, they'd change. Most of them did. One in particular that still tormented him happened to be his own cousin, Snotlout.

-Line Break-

"Ow!" 10-year-old Hiccup cried out as Snotlout pushed him into the mud. He and the twins laughed as the fishbone of a child tried to get back up, only to slip and fall back down.

"Hiccup is so clumsy, he's practically useless!" Ruffnut said between fits of laughter.

The female twin's comment gave Snotlout an idea. "That should be his title, Ruff. Hiccup the Useless!"

Just as Hiccup managed to get back up, a fist met his face, causing him to once again lose his footing. His nose tingled, and after touching the tender area, Hiccup's fingers were covered in blood. His eyes welled with tears as he watched the three kids walk away.

"See you later, Useless." Tuffnut said as they left.

"I'm not useless," Hiccup whispered to himself. "One day I'm going to kill a Night Fury, then we'll see whose laughing."

-Line Break-

It was Astrid's turn to teach on that gloomy day in the northern Archipelago. So of course, it was combat training. She shoved a large axe in Hiccup's right hand, which he promptly dropped. Snickers from his one and only cousin could be heard as the chief's son tried to pick it back up.

"Do you need some help with that, Useless?" Snotlout sauntered on over to his cousin and hoisted the axe up onto Hiccup's shoulder and gave him a push, causing him to fall backwards and land on the rock hard arena floor. Hiccup tried to bite back a cry of pain, but it was to no avail. Laughter echoed through his ears, and the small teen fought the sudden onslaught of tears. His only comfort at the moment was hearing the growls and snarls coming from his best friend from the other side of the ring.

"Aww. Does little Hiccup want to go cry to his mommy? Oh, that's right! He doesn't even have one. Maybe he'll go cry to his crippled dragon that he injured." Snotlout laughed at the little Viking's misfortune, not realizing that he had struck a nerve.

Hiccup stood up and trudged over to Snotlout, and the only noises that could be heard were the laughter from one Viking, and the clanking of a metal foot from the other. Once Hiccup was directly in front of Snotlout, he did something that no one was expecting. Out of nowhere, his left hand shot out and punched Snotlout in the face. It was a bit weak, but the shock of Hiccup punching Snotlout alone gave the desired effect.

His cousin staggered back, holding his nose, "What in Hel's name was that for?"

"I am sick and tired of you belittling me! I handled you making fun of me, but talking about my deceased mother and my best friend like that is unacceptable! I have had it with you, Snotlout. I tried and tried to be nice to you, hoping you would one day return the behavior. I am fed up with your stupid comments about me being useless."

Everyone was surprised at Hiccup's outburst, yet Snotlout seemed to brush it off. "It's not like I'm wrong about calling you Useless, I mean, what can you do? Yes, you did tame a Night Fury and defeat the Red Death, but in normal Viking standards? You're weak."

"That's where your wrong, Snotlout." Hiccup spat out his cousin's name. "I may not be able to lift an axe or swing a hammer, but give me my sword or bow and I'll do just fine. I've made more weapons than you can count, and my friend Camicazi and I escaped from a Roman prison, taking down a large number of their soldiers on our way out. I may not look like it, but I can fend for myself!" Hiccup took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

Everyone was shocked. While they didn't want to admit it, they all actually believed that Hiccup was pretty weak. They had no idea that he had battled Romans for Thor's sake.

Snotlout panicked, trying to make a comeback on the spot. "Oh yeah? Prove it."

"Fine," Hiccup stood tall and looked Snotlout straight in the eye. "Meet back here in one hour if you're not too much of a coward to duel." With that final remark, Hiccup strode out of the arena, Toothless right behind him.

Once the duo had left, everyone turned to Snotlout, glaring at him for mistreating Hiccup.

"What did I do?"

-Line Break-

One hour had passed, painfully slow for some, but instantaneously for others. News about a fight between Snotlout and Hiccup had spread throughout the village like wildfire, (no thanks to the twins) and many of the villagers stood outside of the ring, excited for the upcoming match. Within the crowd were the two fathers, Stoick and Spitelout, and Hiccup's mentor, Gobber.

"Yer boy better be careful, Stoick, Snotlout is a tough warrior," Spitelout stated a bit smugly.

Gobber was the one to respond, "Oh, ye haven't seen nothin' yet. Hiccup may look week, but he's stronger than most realize. Honestly, I've seen him in action once before."

Inside the ring were all of the teens, minus Hiccup that is, and their respective dragons. On one side of the ring, Snotlout could be seen with his trusty falchion*, and a basic bow made of ash wood. He paced back and forth with anticipation, only looking up when he heard his opponent.

Clanking metal resounded as Hiccup entered the ring. A beautifully carved bow could be seen on his back, and an oddly shaped scabbard had been strapped to his waist. To everyone watching, he appeared calm and collected, but inside it was a completely different story.

To be honest, Hiccup was worried. Sure he knew he could fight, but he had never battled Snotlout before. He had a plan, but wasn't confident in its success.

"May the gods be with me," he muttered under his breath.

-Line Break-

Astrid positioned several targets where she wanted them, before explaining the rules of the archery contest. "You each have three targets. After shooting each of them, whoever has the best score wins!"

Snotlout pushed Hiccup aside as he strode up to his position. "Why don't you just give up? There's no way you can win." To be honest, he hadn't practiced with a bow much, but felt confident in his abilities.

After clumsily stringing his bow, Snotlout took a deep breath. His first shot landed just outside the bullseye, worth 9 points. He shot twice more, each arrow making a solid "thunk" as it landed in its target. His final score ended up being 28, for he managed to get a bullseye on his last shot.

The crowd was impressed, but none cheered louder than Spitelout, "That's ma boy!"

Snotlout puffed his chest out, loving the attention and absolutely sure he would win. He turned to Hiccup, grinning, and said, "Try and beat that, Useless."

Hiccup gave him a tight-lipped smile before taking his position in front of the first target. He grabbed his hand-made, intricately carved longbow and an arrow from his leather quiver. All was silent as the chief's son nocked the arrow and drew the string, his body relaxed and his eye trained on the target.

He exhaled and let the arrow loose. It landed directly in the center with a loud thunk. Everyone watched with disbelief as Hiccup quickly reloaded twice more. His aim was true with each and every arrow. His score was a perfect 30, a score that not only shocked Snotlout or the villagers, but his father as well. Stoick could not believe his eyes, but suddenly cheered louder than anyone could have ever imagined. That was his wife's son, alright. She couldn't use heavy weapons, but was the sharpest shooter he'd ever laid eyes on.

The sound of everyone cheering met Hiccup's ears, and for once in his life he felt useful. Even his father cheered for him. A small grin adorned the Viking's face, but it quickly faded as he turned around to see Snotlout glaring at him.

"It's not like Vikings even use bows. I've trained with a sword for my whole life, and I doubt you can defeat the great Snotlout."

-Line Break-

Vikings of all ages had crammed themselves around the ring. While watching the future warriors shoot was fun, they found duels to be much more entertaining.

The teenagers that weren't participating in the fight backed up to one side so that Hiccup and Snotlout could have all the room they needed. Snotlout drew his heavy falchion, ready to crush Hiccup. What surprised him though, was Hiccup's choice of weapon. He drew a thin, curved sword, and held it in his right hand.

"Since when are swords curved, Useless? Can you even cut anything with that?" He taunted Hiccup, trying to hide the fact that he was a bit nervous after seeing the strange contraption.

Hiccup laughed, "Since when have you known what the word 'curved' means? And it's called a sabre** by the way." He, too, was nervous, but knew that if he had ever trained for anything, it was to prove to Snotlout that he was not useless.

The two Vikings circled each other, waiting for the match to begin. The clang of a hammer hitting metal signified the beginning, and Snotlout charged right at Hiccup, wanting to end it quickly.

Hiccup knew that the falchion, combined with Snotlout's weight, would be much too heavy to block. At the last second, he parried the blow and sidestepped, slipping out of Snotlout's reach. The arrogant Viking growled, angry that he missed.

On and on they went. Snotlout attacked. Hiccup defended. Snotlout finally realized that charging his cousin wouldn't work and he slowed down, timing each of his attacks. He grinned when Hiccup nearly failed to dodge a few blows. To him, it appeared that the runt was losing, and his sword skills were not all that great.

Hiccup finally spoke after what felt like hours of battling, "Do you want to know a secret, Snotlout?

"What?" He asked, pausing for a moment.

A deafening silence was present as everyone viewed the duel in anticipation. Hiccup gave Snotlout his traditional, lopsided smirk.

"I'm not right-handed."

-Line Break-

Instantly, Hiccup's demeanor changed. After tossing the sabre to his other hand, he sprung into action. He charged toward his opponent, completely surprising him by attacking instead of defending. All Snotlout could do was block as he was pounded with precise, calculated attacks by his fishbone of a cousin.

Their blades clashed, sending several sparks flying. Snotlout pushed as hard as he could, knowing he had the upper hand when it came to strength. Hiccup caught him off guard by quickly pulling away, causing the larger teen's momentum to send him stumbling forward. Hiccup grinned and allowed Snotlout to get up before quickly attacking again. The small Viking swung his sword at shoulder level. Snotlout backed up, but was determined to win.

The fight continued, neither side letting up. Battling with a prosthetic was proving to be a new challenge for Hiccup. Every so often maneuvers that were normally easy for him caused the teen to slip.

All of a sudden, a spark lighted in Hiccup's eyes as he discovered an opening. Hiccup thrusted toward Snotlout's chest, knowing it would be blocked. He used the slight curve of the blade to his advantage, however, and slid his sword down towards the hilt of Snotlout's. With the flick of a wrist, Hiccup disarmed his cousin. The only noise that could be heard was the falchion clattering on the ground.

Everyone stared in disbelief. Hiccup "the Useless" had just beaten Snotlout. Astrid was the one to break the silence. She strode over to Hiccup and punched him in the shoulder.

"I knew you could do it," she said, triggering the response of others. A sudden rush of noise met Hiccup's ears as the Berkians wildly cheered for him. Hiccup looked over to Snotlout, who still had not moved his confused gaze from the sword lying on the ground. His sword.

The lesson Snotlout, and a large number of others, learned was to never underestimate a Hiccup, no matter how Useless he appeared to be.

* A falchion is a sword with the weight and power of an axe. Even though it's not a traditional Viking sword, I felt like it was the perfect fit for Snotlout.

** A sabre is a slightly curved, one-edged sword. I figured that since Hiccup is…Hiccup to state it in the least, he probably would have made himself a sword different than one a Viking would normally use.

AN: Yes, I know. I may have borrowed a few lines from the Princess Bride's script, but I couldn't resist. ;) If you have any ideas, let me know. I might not be able to write about all of them, but I will definitely take them all into consideration.