Chapter 2: You don't know my heart

Hello Peeps!

Thanks for the reviews, Favs, Follows.(:
Here comes the second chapter. As always all mistakes are mine, as I don't have a real Beta at the moment. (if you want to Beta me, feel free to leave a comment).Characters are not mine.

I'd love for you to R&R and enjoy.

So without further ado: Let's get started

Song: You don't know my heart - Rachel Platten

You don't know my heart

Five days. It had been five days since their fight. And they haven't talked since. Of course they exchanged a few words at the board meeting, and as they passed each other in the hall they bid their farewells. But it wasn't same like they normally communicated. Nothing had a meaning to it.

No lingering looks, no accidental brush of hands and no banter or harmless flirting.

To Pepper it felt like it had been a lifetime ago since she spoke to Tony and now he seemed to avoid her like the plague.

She couldn't remember when she had dialed his number or when she had asked him to pick her up, but after lunch Pepper found herself sitting next to Happy on the passenger seat and driving through Malibu towards the mansion.

"Shall I wait for you?" Happy asked through the window as she stepped out and closed the door.

"No it's fine, Happy. I fear this may take a while. Thank you though, for the lift. I will call you when I'm done." With that Pepper straightened her skirt and headed for the front door. She was nervous. But to be honest she wasn't excited. It was a feeling like something bad was creeping up on her.

As Pepper entered the house she felt more than heard the mighty bass coming from the workshop.

The place was even more damaged than it had been after the Party. The large glass windows, which had been destroyed by his and Rhodey's blast and that normally overlooked the ocean were replaced with cardboard, so the room was dim. Still, Pepper could see a hole in floor, which she wasn't sure were from Tony's party.

After putting her purse down and getting rid of her jacket, Pepper headed for the still damaged stairs and walked towards the glass doors downstairs. She typed in her code and entered.

The workshop was pure chaos. Pieces of a big black tube were all over the floor, only the lower half of the fire cabin was still standing while the other half was on the floor and its contend scattered around. Apparently something had cut through the walls and steel pillars and she could see smoke coming from a mysterious looking thing on the workbench. Poor Dum-E did his best to sweep the floor with a normal broom, but it clearly didn't do any good.

However, what she didn't see was Tony.

"Jarvis, turn down the music to 5%, please. And tell me where I can find Tony, please."

"Mr. Stark is currently 12 foot to your right, trying to wrangle a vibranium piece out from underneath some crumbled bricks." The British AI responded. To Pepper it was strange, even though JARVIS wasn't human she still considered him as a… for the lack of a better word, friend. He was her connection to Tony when he flew around in his suit and would give her regular updates on is vitals, whether he was in the suit or for 48 hours in the shop. But JARVIS was more than a very modern update device. He kept Pepper company through many late work nights and sometimes took her side in arguments against Mr. "I am Iron Man" himself.

It was odd that Tony didn't respond to Pepper turning down his music, like he normally would and that worried Pepper even more.

Still she walked over to where JARVIS had said Tony was.

"Tony?" She tried to keep her voice soft and calm, but at the same time she was desperate to talk to him and hopefully set things straight between the two of them. Unconsciously she realized that her fists were clenched.

Tony briefly looked at her and turned his attention back to pulling out a giant disc from under a huge pile of bricks, not saying one word or acknowledging her presence any further.

His behavior towards her hurt her more than she'd like to admit. For the first moment in five days, the extent of their fight became clear to her. It hit her like a hurricane, when she realized what she might have lost. For a moment she feared that the emotional pain might overwhelm her, but as always Pepper managed to hide that she was in pain and how hurt she actually was.

"Tony, can we please talk about the other day?"

"Why do ya wanna talk? I think you said everything you needed to, in New York." Tony still wasn't looking at her.

"But I didn't meant it to be like this, like these past five days. I hate not talking to you." Pepper was all but pleading with him now. "I just want to speak about our fight."

"I told you I won't harass you any further. I am the asshole, you are the saint. I'll be out of your hair."

"Tony, I… I was enraged. I didn't mean to attack you personally. If you'd just let me explain…" Pepper was on the verge of desperation now. Everything about his behavior screamed rejection.

"Pepper. I don't care." And he finally looked at her. His voice cold.

"Tony, please. Why are you like this? I never said you are a bad person or an asshole. You did. And I certainly didn't want you to get out of my way.I am sorry I said that about you being Iron Man. I know you feel like you have a duty, but you shouldn't need to feel like you'd have to proof something to the world or to me…" Pepper could now feel tears starting to build and she desperately tried to keep them at bay.

"You know Pepper, it is funny that you always assume, I do everything because of you. Because it's your decision or to please you." His voice was low, but had a mocking and hurt undertone to it. "I don't go on missions to make you happy, but because it's my duty to rid the world of my weapons. I didn't want to show off for you at the Expo…"

"I know! I saw y…", but Tony didn't let her intercept.

"You know, you always assume that it's only ever about you. Has it ever occurred to you that I don't want to be around you anymore? At least not at the moment." There was pure bitterness in his tone now and it hurt Pepper like a flame.

She didn't know what to say. It felt like every time she opened her mouth she made things between them worse. Sometimes Pepper wished Tony could just dissemble her like his suit. Maybe he would be able read her emotions, confusion and worries better then. So for the moment Pepper was at a loss for words and just kept quiet. She simply didn't know what to say any more.

After a while of just standing there and looking at each other - Tony's eyes hard and cold with something underneath Pepper couldn't pin point yet and Peppers eyes glistening with tears and pleading with him to say something - the first tear fell.

It felt like a lifetime later that Pepper heard herself say "Why? Why don't you want to be around me anymore?" Her voice was very weak and barely audible.

"You just don't get it, do you?" Now his eyes were sad and cast downwards. His voice wasn't angry anymore, but sad. Pepper kept her mouth shut, not wanting to dis-encourage him.

"You hurt me. Bad."

"Listen Tony, I never meant half the things I said in New York. I was just so angry that you wrecked everything you had worked for, for so long. And after your party I was afraid you'd go back to your old ways before you came back. I am sorry if I hurt you. I didn't…" She couldn't continue. Pepper honestly didn't know what to say to him and she certainly didn't want to make it any worse.

"I'm not talking about five days ago, Pepper. I am talking about my party, Monaco, the plane flight, Venice…"He didn't want to tell her about him dying. He wasn't anymore, but he knew it would have explained everything. Yet with her already crying, he didn't want to hurt her even more. So he settled for the other truth.

Try as she might she couldn't figure out what he meant with that.

"The moments before the press conference." Tony avoided looking directly at her, now. "The night at the benefit."

And then it hit Pepper like a wall of bricks. "You think you are in love with me."

After Afghanistan Pepper would have dropped everything right then and there and probably would have flown Tony off to Vegas and eloped with him.

When Pepper first came to work for Tony she was afraid she would fall for his boyish charm and admittedly, she found him very attractive. But his old habits and ways with the ladies always prevented her from doing anything about it. So she had denied and concealed her feeling for more than 10 years, to protect herself. And finally Pepper managed to trick herself into thinking her feelings were ones you'd have for a friend.

She had managed to build herself a reputation as his PA, that didn't involve crude remarks about hand jobs and late night booty calls and now she was finally well respected as the CEO of Stark Industries.

But then Tony went missing and for the first time in over a decade Peppers carefully constructed facade began to crumble. She thought she had lost him and regretted, bitterly that she never gave in to temptation. For the first time she allowed herself to even acknowledge that she loved him.

The night she got the call that Tony had been rescued, Pepper promised herself she never ever wanted to regret not doing something again. The night of the firefighters benefit she was ready to go for it, but the little voice - which sounded suspiciously like her mother - had told her to let him make a move, too. And he didn't. Pepper had been devastated, yet relieved that she - a least - didn't make a fool of herself. So she went back to burying her emotions for him and it worked.

When Iron Man came to the table it turned her whole life upside down again, constant worrying about Tony and his missions along with a lot of work.

Still, not even his not-so-serious little speech, about her being the worried superhero girlfriend had sent her back digging out her feelings for him. To her his message at the firefighter's event had been clear as day.

And she seemed to have been proven right. His odd behavior in Monaco, hiring a busty red-head Natalie or Natasha - or whatever name she decides to have today, his disastrous birthday party and the whole ordeal with Hammer and Vanko and the Expo had been enough proof to her that she had been right, he still hadn't changed that much.

Apparently she had been wrong.

Yet, instead of relieve there was mainly one thing Pepper felt: Fear.

The realization that Tony, the Tony Stark, Anthony Edward Stark, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, IRON MAN himself could actually be in love with her, scared her shitless.

She never expected anything like this to happen. It just wasn't supposed to happen. They weren't meant to be. Yet, here she and Tony stood, staring at each other wide eyed.

"Pepper? Pepper!" She had been quiet for a few minutes now, her eyes wide and mouth agape.

She snapped out of her trance. "What? No. You… you…y… you can't love me. Thats not right. Thats not, what's supposed to happen." A nervous laugh escaped her lips. She felt like she was about to have a panic attack.

"Pepper, breath. Calm down." Tony took her by her shoulders and tried to calm her down. "Why would it be so wrong, if I were in love with you?" Luckily he didn't sound mad, but curious and maybe a little sad.

"You are you, and… and… and I am me. And we are friends, Tony. You don't do relationships and you don't fall in love." Yep, there wasn't any air left in her lungs. Or in the room for the matter.

"But I could change that, Pep." He didn't plead with her, he just stated it like a fact.

"No." She stated hastily.

"No?"

"You can't change who you are. And you shouldn't. I… I mean you just left me standing on that roof at the Disney concert hall. You like to flirt and be able to find a random fling for one night. And Tony that's all fine. I think, in a relationship you'll just get bored. I really like you, and I really like us. As friends." It physically hurt her to say this. She could literally feel her heart breaking inside her chest. But she was certain to the core, that she and him romantically involved would never work. Just being friends was for the best.

"You know what hurt the most?" He asked her and his hands fell from her shoulders. "What hurt the most was that you didn't even considered my offer from before the conference." He took a deep breath and smiled sadly at her.

"I told you I wouldn't harass you and I'll be out of your hair. You don't feel anything? It's fine. We'll see each other…"

"Tony," Pepper felt like she needed to stop him right there. Did he really think that she felt nothing, that she didn't even value him as a friend. Like this conversation didn't kill her inside, like it didn't kill Pepper to see him swallowing his tears and sadness because of her.

But to be honest she didn't know what to do. She was so confused and overwhelmed with her own feelings, so she did what she knew best: conceal, don't feel, don't let anything show. And then go back to what you know and get back in control. "Would you really want to spoil our friendship with a hasty try at a relationship, thats just meant to break? I think… No, Tony I know: us, together, that way just wouldn't work. You are chaos and party and I, I am boring…"

"You are anything but boring, Pep."

"I just don't think we'd fit. Our lives wouldn't work together, with being together like that. Our friendship on the other hand… Our friendship is extraordinary. We compliment each other so well, because we know better than to bring feelings - romantic feelings - into the mix. You are compassionate with your projects and I keep you and your company in line. Neither of us would have time to fit a relationship in there.

Being friends, just friends is the one logical way for us to work. A relationship would make our carefully constructed card house crumble. But our friendship makes it invincible. And I'd rather have us as friends invincible, than in a relationship and regretting it later on."

Tony smiled, but couldn't chase away the sadness completely.

"You always need everything to be predictable, Miss Potts. Ok, let's get back to being friends."

Before he could stop himself he quickly, yet carefully pressed a kiss on her forehead. Pepper felt like crying. She didn't want to hurt him, but she didn't want to hurt herself, too. She really wished he could just look inside her and see her inner struggle.

"Let's go get take out. I am hungry." With that he was out of the workshop and up the stairs.

Yay they're friends again.

I know I am cruel, but I warned you, it's slow burn.
I also hope its not too OOC.
I'd love to get some positive reviews and/or constructive criticism.

also many thanks to LalaLena96 who helped me little with the plot(: Love you 3000 *ugly crying*