Holly didn't remember the frantic rush to get from her living room to the car sitting in the driveway. Nor did she remember throwing the car into gear and speeding out into the early morning Toronto traffic, the sky dark and the stars glittering through the clouds. She didn't remember the crunch of the handbrake as she pulled into a parking bay in front of Gail's apartment building barely remembering to pull the key out of the ignition as she abandoned the vehicle and stumbled up the steps to the apartment.
The dark haired woman remembered the way that Dov's blue eyes widened at the sight of her on the doorstep when he finally opened the door. She remembered the way that his mouth dropped open as she shoved through the gap between him and the door, clattering through the living room to pound her fist against Gail's door.
"What are you doing?" Dov asked sharply, gripping Holly's shoulder tightly, tugging her backwards away from his best friend's door.
"I need to get in there." Holly answered, her tone desperate and frantic, her teeth digging into her bottom lip in an attempt to hold the fear in her chest. "Please, I need to see her."
"I know what happened." Dov said by way of an answer, narrowing his eyes as he nodded towards the door. "You don't have any right to see her any more. I know what your friends said, and what you told her today. You're seeing someone else right, then why do you need to see her now."
Holly swallowed hard, feeling her heart squeeze in her chest as if Dov had reached inside her chest and clenched his fingers around the small organ. "I…" She struggled to speak passed the lump in her throat. "I didn't mean to."
Dov shook his head, stepping around the frozen woman to rattle his knuckles across Gail's door. "Honey," He murmured into the wood. "Are you all right?"
The pair waited for a reply, listening for a sign of movement from Gail's bedroom – Dov's hand cradled around the door handle as Holly fidgeted from side to side nervously. Dov's fingers rapped against the wood, tapping harder in an attempt for force a reaction from the woman. "Are you sure she's here?"
"She called me." Holly answered, shaking her head as she ran her fingers through her hair. "She didn't say where she was but I guessed here."
Dov frowned, tightening his fingers around the door handle, twisting it sharply butting against the lock. "Stand back." He murmured, glancing backwards at Holly as he stepped away from the door, squaring his body before throwing his leg forward to slam his foot into the door beside the lock. The thick wood groaned loudly but didn't splinter. Dov smashed his foot against the door again, thrusting hard in order to cause the wood to give way underneath his assault, the door flying open and smacking against the wall.
Holly stepped through the newly opened doorway into the open space, her eyes peering through the darkness, landing on a head of pale platinum blonde hair. The woman frowned at the slack expression marring Gail's face, her mouth hanging open and eyelids closed without any sign of movement underneath. "Gail?" Holly asked softly, stepping forward into the room, her foot knocking against a glass bottle on the floor.
The dark haired woman approached the bed, kneeling down at Gail's side, her fingers reaching for the woman's shoulders. "Come on Gail, wake up." She murmured hopefully, shaking the woman's shoulders, desperately hoping to cause her eyes to flicker open to reveal burning blue eyes. "Wake up Gail."
Holly bent her head, holding her ear over Gail's lips, praying for the cool rush of air from her mouth but feeling nothing. Her hand moved to press against Gail's chest, desperate to feel the dull throb of the woman's heart in the palm of her head or through the tips of her fingers pressed into the side of the throat – she found nothing.
"Call an ambulance." Holly whispered, breathing in deeply, pulling Gail off the bed and onto the floor, tipping her head backwards before pinching her nose. "Do it now."
"I'm on it." Dov answered quickly, his eyes wide as he watched the Doctor bend over his best friend, cradling her jaw in her hands as she pressed their lips together and blew a long breath down the woman's throat. Holly's hands pushed together on Gail's chest, depressing her ribcage in the desperate hope to force Gail's heart to beat. Sweat beaded at Holly's temples as she pushed against Gail's chest, massaging the woman's heart in-between long puffs of air.
"You don't get to do this Gail." Holly huffed angrily, biting down on her bottom lip as she worked on the woman. "You don't get to die."
"They're on their way, two minutes out." Dov murmured moving to kneel at Holly's side, pushing her hands away from Gail's chest to take over the depressions as Holly shifted to cradle Gail's head, stroking her fingers across the woman's face.
"Please Gail." Holly whispered desperately, tears pushing against her eyelids. "You've got to wake up for me Baby; I'm not ready to let you go. Please, I need you to be all right Gail. I need you to tell me I'm a nerd and make me laugh over something stupid because I'm too stressed to smile. Please. I need you."
Two minutes later the Paramedics sped into the apartment, pushing Dov and Holly away from Gail's body to take over her treatment. The two men loaded Gail onto a stretched quickly, pushed a tube down her throat in order to ventilate her lungs effectively before carrying Gail to the ambulance. Dov pushed Holly into the back of the vehicle, closing the doors before striding to his car.
Holly pushed her back against the side of the ambulance, watching with a trained eye as the paramedic ripped Gail's shirt open, cut through her bra and placed two conductive pads against her skin. The defibrillator buzzing in the background as the second man kept a steady pulse of air streaming down Gail's throat.
"Clear!" The paramedic yelled, Holly's heart lurching in her chest, her eyes and ears straining to detect a change in Gail's body.
Gail's body lurched into the air but the flat line beep of the cardiac monitor refused to change pace. The paramedic frowned, flicking a switch on the defibrillator charging the device a second time, the other man continuing chest compressions.
"Clear!" He called loudly, pressing the pads over Gail's chest, squeezing the controls to release a shock of electricity through her nerve endings in an attempt to force her heart to start beating.
The man continued the same pattern two more times, Holly's heart sinking inside her chest each time, the monitor refusing to change.
"Time of death," The paramedic murmured softly closing his eyes at the desperate sob that left Holly's mouth. "Two twenty three am."
Holly stood silently, tears racing down her cheeks as she stared at the blonde haired woman laid out on the autopsy table.
Her skin glistened in the pale light of the room – blanched white with a blue tinge around the woman's lips. Her hair shone brightly in the dullness of the room, blonde strands glittering in the artificial light, framing the woman's face. Her chest refused to rise and fall and her heart failed to beat.
Holly clenched her jaw, suppressing the urge to whimper aloud in pain as her heart shuddered inside her chest in sympathy for Gail's un-beating heart. Her fingers reached out to smooth across Gail's forehead, tucking fine strands of blonde hair behind the woman's ear and smoothing them out of her face as she bent over the table to press a tender kiss to her cold lips. Holly cupped Gail's cheeks, sliding the pads of her thumbs over the woman's skin, resting her forehead lightly on the woman's forehead, beating in the subtle scent that clung to her skin.
"You weren't cold." She whispered her voice breaking as she spoke. "And you didn't screw up Gail. You didn't. I did."