Okay, somebody needs to stop me. I should be working on my Nanowrimo but all this wonderful Joshifer silliness is messing with my best-laid plans. I, for one, think there is a little bit more to that whole woke-up-with-ketchup-packets-on-my-ass business. At least, there is when it happens to Katniss.

Happy Reading! These drabbles and one-shots are in no particular order.

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"Ughhhh…" Katniss groaned as the ever-brightening light from the California sun penetrated through the slats of the venetian blinds. For a moment, she wasn't sure where she was but one loud snore from the face-down bedfellow next to her brought all the memories from last night rushing back to her. Coming to full consciousness, she tasted the bitter flavor of onions and mustard on her tongue, as well as a acrid fumes of garlic rising up the back of her throat. She'd forgotten to brush her teeth last night and was paying for it by tasting the full range of junk food she'd inhaled last night.

Pizza

Diet Coke

Quarter Pounder with Cheese

French Fries

Chocolate Milk Shake

What the hell was I thinking! she screamed at herself. It was as if a brick of plastic had settled at the pit of her stomach and she felt mildly sick from it. Turning her head to the snoring machine next to her, she was tempted to scream at him also, though for what, she wasn't quite sure.

Feeling grossed out by the foul aftertaste of fake food, Katniss made to sit up but was pinned down by a heavy muscular arm across her waist. At her movement, the mass next to her shifted and two bleary, golden-lashed blue eyes stared back at her, still straddling the line between sleep and wakefulness.

"Hey," he moaned, rubbing his face into his pillow to help clear his mind.

"Peeta," she said in exasperation. "Why do I keep you around?"

Lifting himself to rest on his elbow, he brushed at the hair that stuck to Katniss' forehead. "I don't know. My stunning good looks? My engaging and irresistible personality?"

"Your good sense!" she exclaimed in frustration. "You're supposed to keep me from doing things like what I did last night. Not encourage me!"

"I did not encourage you. As I recall correctly, I was trying to eat the pizza I had delivered to my house when you came over and devoured most of it. Not just that, you then proceeded to drive all the way to McDonald's with my chauffeur and bring back loads of stuff that you barely shared with me. How did I know you were on a mission to eat everything in sight?"

"I did do that, didn't I? Ugh!" she said, flinging herself back onto the pillow. "Peeta! I feel like I swallowed an elephant," Katniss groused unhappily. "I might have even gone into a food coma!"

"Okay, voice of reason here! You did not go into a food coma. You did, however, fall into a very deep sleep and nothing was going to wake you up. Trust me. I tried." He gave her a sly grin and Katniss could only imagine how he'd tried to wake her up.

"You really only ever have one thing on your mind," she complained half-heartedly as she sat up, the blanket falling away to reveal that she'd at least had the wherewithal, at some point, to strip off her clothes. It was then that she felt the sharp pain on her bottom.

"Ow!" she said, twisting to the side to expose her backside to Peeta.. "Something bit me! Peeta, do you have bed bugs?"

"What - no!" he said as he lifted the blanket to look at the source of her discomfort. Katniss' concern became confusion as Peeta dissolved into a heap of laughter.

"This is brilliant. Wait a second." he reached over to the end table on the other side of him and pulled out her I-Phone.

"What do you think you're doing!" Katniss said, trying to cover herself again.

"No, wait, Katniss, please, this is priceless." Peeta guffawed as he pulled up the camera and started clicking away."

"My two favorite things." he murmured appreciatively as she became impatient with him. "Your perfect ass and ketchup."

"What the hell are you talking about?" she looked back and saw the source of Peeta's humor. Katniss scowling face split into a brilliant grin and soon she was laughing as hard as he was. "Of course, I'd sleep all night with ketchup packets on my ass!" she said as soon as she could breathe. "Please, don't let me do that again!"

"As if I could stop you!" he said, clicking away at more than her ketchup-packet-covered behind.

"Peeta, no! I look crazy!"

"You are sexy as hell." he said, yanking the blankets off of her. "I could fucking eat you right now," he growled as he tugged at the pillow she'd grabbed to cover herself. "Come on, Katniss, pose for me."

"Give me that!" she laughed, snatching the camera out of his hand. "Not like this," she crawled up to him and put her lips to his ear, her words full of promise. "When I'm cleaned up, I'll let you take a few so you can have them when I'm not around. If you're going to look at porn, you might as well look at me."

"I don't watch porn." Katniss leaned back and crossed her arms, quirking one eyebrow up at him. Flushing slightly, Peeta opted to change the subject. "Well, since you ate my dinner, I'm starving now." He stood up and it was clear he hadn't forgotten to take his clothes off either. "Want me to get you something?"

The memory of her late night binge rose up in her throat again and she wrinkled her nose. "I think I'll pass on breakfast."