A/N: Got two reviews that helped in no way(but thanks or reviewing anyway.) I also got an alert, so I take it that they wanted me to keep writing, so here goes.

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush

Kendall POV

I walked into 2J with James and Carlos laughing about how Mr. Bitters had fallen into the pool. He had gotten so furious at everybody laughing, he made us all leave.

"Imma go change, okay?" I told my friends.

"Oh-kay," James said breathily, recovering from his fit of laughter.

I walked down the hall to mine and Logan's shared room to find the door closed. Logan had stayed behind, so I knew he was just in there probably reading.

I knocked on the door And waited for a response. When I didn't get one, I called out Logan's name. When I didn't get a response once again, I gently pushed the door open. What I saw before me was horrifying.

There was Logan, on his bed, razor in his hand by his side, laying in a pool of blood. The part that scared me most was the smile that was in his face. He looked so happy, and it made him look crazy.

"Logan!" I screamed running to his side.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod," I said frantically. James and Carlos rushed into the room having heard my scream.

Their eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their heads when they saw Logan.

"Somebody call 911!" I screamed, hoping that the EMTs could do something. James whipped out his phone and dialed the 3-digit number. I grabbed Logan's hand and let tears roll down my face.

I noticed an envelope and grabbed it, ignoring the blood that covered it. I opened it up and found a note that was red-stained from the blood. I gasped in shock as I read the note.

I'm so sorry for doing this, but it had to be done. I couldn't take it anymore. All the hate and ridicule. People can be so cruel. And the worst part is that you-James, Carlos, and Kendall-you guys knew. But you did nothing to stop it. I bet none of this would've ever happened if I wasn't gay. My dad wouldn't hate me, people would actually treat me nicely, you guys would care. But no. So this is the end. You guys don't even know how hard I took everything that was said. It was all awful to me.

I've done so much over the years, probably since I was 14. I've cut myself. If you don't believe me, check my hips, thighs, and stomach. But don't say I didn't warn you. There are a lot of them. And those burns? Those weren't accidents. I've done all this, but this is the last resort. This is the only thing that can completely stop all the pain.

I hope you guys are happy when I'm gone. I won't be there to hold you back anymore. You don't have to go around embarrassed with your gay friend at your side. I bet you didn't even want to be my friend. You will probably be much happier now.

I'll seen you soon enough.

-Logan

I sobbed harder and harder as I read the note over and over. Soon, there was a paramedic pulling me away from Logan's body. I hadn't even realized that they had arrived until right then.

"We will do all we can, but in all honesty, he's been out for too long. The doctor will pronounce him officially dead. I'm sorry," the EMT said. A sob escaped my mouth as I nodded my head in understanding.

I shuffled out of our room after them, tears streaming down my face. They left with Logan on the stretcher, and I sat down on the bright orange couch with the other two.

"Guess I should tell Mom," I told them sadly. They always considered my mom as their own. I pulled out my phone and dialed 'M' for Mommy. I never changed it after mansion sitting for Gustavo.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Hi mom," I said sniffling.

"What's wrong honey?" she asked me noticing the sadness in my voice.

"It's-it's Logan, mom. He-he's d-d-dead!" I cried. She gasped on the other line.

"What happened?" she asked. I could here he tears in her voice.

"He k-killed himself, mom. I can't believe it," I said through my sobs.

"Oh my god," she stated simply.

"We called 911 and they brought him to the hospital. They said they would try their hardest, but it didn't look good. He was out too long," I told her.

"Okay. We're on our way," she told me.

"What's wrong mom?" I heard Katie say in the background. My heart broke right then. Katie would take this so hard. She loved Logan so much, probably more than she loved me.

I hung up the phone and sat up.

"Might as well go to the hospital," I told my friends who had silent tears rolling down their cheeks.

They both nodded in response and got up.

James POV

When we got to the hospital, I had finally stopped crying. I couldn't believe that Logan had killed himself. I never thought anything was wrong. I knew he was bullied, but he seemed to not mind at all. He always said it was fine. I hadn't expected this at all.

We walked into the hospital together, earning funny looks, as expected. It wasn't everyday you saw three teenage boys, emotional wrecks, one covered in blood. Carlos and I went to sit in chairs in the waiting room while Kendall went up to the desk to talk to the lady.

A few moments later, Kendall came back, fresh tears pouring from his eyes. All he could do was shake his head, which I knew meant we was officially dead. Carlos and I started a new round of sobs. We couldn't believe this was happening.

"Come on. They said we can see him one last time," Kendall said, body shaking due to his sobs.

He got up and followed Kendall who knew where he was going. Kendall looked at all the room numbers before stopping at 112. He slowly opened the door and we saw a body laying under a white sheet. I let out a sob as we all stepped into the room. We all pulled chairs over near the bed and sat down in them.

"I can't believe you did that Logie," Kendall whispered. I couldn't form any words and just sat there.

"I'm gonna miss you so much," Carlos let out an started crying all over again.

We sat in silence for a while, then Mrs. Knight and Katie burst through the door.

"Oh Logan," Mrs. Knight said seeing the body that was hidden under the sheet. Katie was sniffling, eyes red and puffy, tears daring to fall.

We all sat in silence, crying over our best friend. Right then was when I wished I could go back in time and fix everything and get my friend back.

Carlos POV

I sat in the hospital chair, letting tears escape my eyes. I've never cried so much, and I didn't see myself stopping anytime soon. I just want Logan back so much.

I looked up when I heard a loud sob come from right next to me. I looked over to see Katie crying. I got out of my chair and gave her a huge hug. She threw her

head into my chest and sobbed and sobbed. I just wanted things to go back to normal.

A/N: So that was that. I actually am planning on a 3rd chapter! So yeah. Sorry if this isn't as sad as it should be, put I was dumb enough to play my playlist entitled "Partay all dayy:)" Notice the two 'y's. It make sit serious. Please review!