December 26, 1954

"Sorry, guys," B.J. said as he hung up the phone. "Duty calls—emergency at the hospital. Diverticulitis."

Hawkeye, helping himself to another beer out of the Hunnicutts' fridge, let out an exaggerated sigh. "Ahhh, the hectic life of the in-demand surgeon, called from the warmth of his family's bosom to administer aid to the sick and needy." He raised his bottle of beer in mock salute. "I don't envy you, Beej. Don't miss it at all."

B.J. pulled on his coat, raising his eyebrows. "You surprise me, Hawk. I really thought you'd be back at surgery by now. Although right now, on this particular occasion, I can definitely see the appeal of general practice. I was looking forward to our evening of board games, TV, and popcorn."

"Hey, don't worry about us, Beej," Hawkeye said, draping an arm around Peg's shoulders as the three of them stood there in the kitchen. Peg's eyes went back and forth between the two men as if she were watching a tennis match. "Me and the missus will be just fine. We'll carry on without you, just the two of us."

"And Erin," Peg apparently felt compelled to add. She wasn't quite used to Hawkeye's frequently inappropriate sense of humor yet.

B.J., on the other hand, was never fazed by anything that passed from his friend's lips. He waved goodbye in their general direction and headed out the door, heeding the call of his Hippocratic oath.

Hawkeye wiggled his eyebrows at Peg with a smile, but the fact was, this was their first time alone together. Well, plus Erin, who was currently sitting on the living room floor playing with the new doll she'd gotten yesterday for Christmas. Hawkeye, who almost never felt ill at ease with anyone, felt just the tiniest bit anxious to be left alone with B.J.'s wife and daughter.

This wasn't his first visit to Mill Valley since the war ended, or even his second. It was actually his fourth. But when he did come out here, it was always the B.J. and Hawkeye Show, with Peg and Erin relegated into the background, dwarfed by the energy that the two men exuded when they were together. Hawkeye liked Peg well enough, but it seemed like he'd exchanged maybe a dozen words with her altogether, from their first meeting to now.

Well, perhaps this was a good opportunity, then, to get to know her better. He drank some more of his beer, sensing that she was unsure what to say or do. "We can still play Monopoly, Peg. Or we can just sit and watch the Jack Benny Show."

She nodded, "Television sounds like a good idea. Can I get you anything to eat?"

He put a hand to his stomach to indicate he was still stuffed from the large meal they'd had a couple of hours before. "The beer will do just fine, but thanks."

They moved into the living room and watched TV, sitting on opposite ends of the couch, while Erin kept busy with her doll. The evening passed pleasantly enough, but they weren't exactly setting the world on fire with their conversational skills. Erin seemed to have more to say than either of the adults. Nonplussed by the long stretches of silence, Hawkeye kept going back to the fridge for more beers. And by the time Peg marched Erin off to bed, Hawkeye was nicely buzzed.

Waiting for Peg to get back and resume their awkward evening, Hawkeye stared at the Christmas tree over in the corner of the room. Yesterday had been great fun, participating in the Hunnicutt family's Christmas celebration, watching Erin tearing open her gifts and B.J. laughing at the joy on her face. As much as Hawkeye missed spending the holiday with his dad, he'd had such a warm feeling being an honorary Hunnicutt for the occasion.

It only underscored how painful this evening was going, sans B.J. the buffer. Well hell, he thought suddenly, if Hawkeye Pierce couldn't make someone feel comfortable and relaxed, then nobody could.

When Peg returned, he patted the cushion next to him in invitation. Perhaps to prove that she wasn't afraid of him, she took him up on his offer. Toast of the Town was on TV now… Ed Sullivan and his "really big shew." Unthinking, Hawkeye rested his arm above Peg's shoulders, as if they were teens on their first date. She shifted a little but didn't seem to object. He inhaled her perfume and it reminded him of one of the nurses back at the 4077th… maybe it was Baker who'd worn this scent. He wasn't sure. He leaned in to Peg to get a better whiff.

He would later wonder where the hell his brain went. Probably it was the beer, he reasoned. Maybe it was the very familiar perfume. Whatever the reason, whatever the impulse… he kept on leaning in to his best friend's wife until he was kissing her. On the mouth. Without restraint. With tongue.

Of course she immediately shoved him away. That was no surprise. The only surprise was that he'd done it to begin with.

Peg scrambled off the couch, putting distance between them. "What do you think you're doing?" she demanded. "What are you—drunk?"

He began apologizing, over and over, as shame and remorse flooded his body. "That was so out of line, I can't even begin to defend myself. I'm sorry, Peg. So sorry." And on and on, contrition lacing every word.

Peg's expression transformed gradually, from shock and revulsion to pity. Yes, it was obvious she was pitying him, seeing him in a new light, labeling him in her mind as desperate and crass. In that instant, he had gone from being B.J.'s garrulous, fun-loving friend to lecherous loser.

He couldn't stand the look on her face, so he cast his gaze away, focusing again on the Christmas tree. The blinking lights shimmered because his eyes were filling with tears.

September 13, 1969

Hawkeye paused and lifted his lashes to look at Erin. She hadn't said a word… he'd been talking for God-only-knew how long, getting the story out in a stream-of-consciousness monologue, thankful that she didn't interrupt. But here was the tricky part.

This is where he wanted to end the story for her, but it wasn't where the story actually ended.

So he said, simply, "When your dad got home, your mom told him what had happened, and he was furious. He kicked me out of his house, and who could blame him? I'd made a pass at his wife, for God's sake. It was unforgiveable."

He stopped there, but Erin said nothing. Hawkeye leaned back in his chair and waited, watching her. And he could see it on her face. She was convinced there was more to the story.

Which made perfect sense, because there was.