Disclaimer: me is not meyer. me no own twilight. capiche?

Here's chapter one hope u like it. whether ya do or ya don't, review.

Lionheartlamb has logged on

Lambheartlion has logged on

Lionheartlamb: Hey Bells

Lambheartlion: Hi Edward!

Lionheartlamb: these are cute usernames, eh?

Lambhertlion: er...sure? u came up w/ them.

Lionheartlamb: wuts tht supposed 2 mean?

Itsnotfluffitsmuscle has logged on

Lionheartlamb: great(sarcasm)

Itsnotfluffitsmuscle: HOWDY, YA'LL!!

Lambheartlion: er.. lemme guess...Emmett.

Itsnotfluffitsmuscle: ROOTIN TOOTIN!!

Lambheartlion:...

Lionheartlamb: no, don't put the hat...on...-sigh-

Itsnotfluffitsmuscle: YEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW!!

Lambheartlion: eep...!

Lionheartlamb: now look...see? You scared Bella. Put the cowboy hat away...no away. Good boy...put the rope down...GAH! Forget it! It's like talkin to a monkey!!

Lambheartlion:...

Itsnotfluffitsmuscle: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME??

Lionheartlamb: THAT'S RIGHT! YOU HEARD ME! A BIG STUPID MONKEY NAMED EMMETT!! (HEY! what d'you know!)

Itsnotfluffitsmuscle: WHY I OUTTA...!

Lionheartlamb: WHY I OUTTA...!

Itsnotfluffitsmuscle: DID YOU JUST MOCK ME?! DID YOU JUST MOCK ME?!

Lionheartlamb: I THINK I JUST DID!

Itsnotfluffitsmuscle: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Itsnotfluffitsmuscle has logged off

Lionheartlamb: Uh-oh...

Lionheartlamb has logged of

Lambheartlion: -shock-

Lambheartlion:uh...guys?

Lambheartlion:HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO??

Lambheartlion: crap. -sigh- I don't feel hearted. -pouts-

Lambheartlion has logged off

Jazzper has logged on

Jazzper: Hello? is anyone there?

no answer.

Jazzper: Haha! Now to create a story of my own! One of such magnificence, no one can withstand its beauty!!

Jazzper:(medieval music comes on)

Jazzper: La Laaa Lala Lala Lalala dumdumdum. cute lyrics are added to the cute tune.

Jazzper: camera focuses on a small girl with short, spiky black hair...maybe ya know her...? In a forest with a cute little sundress on, carrying a basket full of apples.

Jazzper: A knight with shining white armor rides up to her on a stallion so beautiful, Gamdalf's could not compare. (Jasper, you poor, poor freakish dork...no offence.) He stops beside the helpless, cute little girl and holds his hand out to her.

Jazzper: "Come with me, fair maiden, and all shall be well for the rest of eternity! Literally!!" he says. With his free hand, he throws his helmet open with a dramatic gesture to reveal an amazingly handsome young chap with yellow hair. He smiles at her to reveal two rows of dazzlingly white, straight, and shiny teeth.

Jazzper: the fair maid is breathless. she clasps her hands together at her chest with a delighted gasp.

Jazzper: "My hero!" she says with glee.

Fortuneshopper has logged on.

Jazzper: (unaware his wife was right there.) He takes her tiny little hand and, with ease, the handsome blond lad helps her onto the horse behind his armored back. "Do not fear these dark woods, fair maiden! They shall never harm thee!!

Fortuneshopper:...

Jazzper:...

Fortuneshopper: I'm speechless...

Jazzper: when did u get here, fa--

Fortuneshopper: just before you help me on the horse. or...was tht another girl? HMM?

Jazzper:-sigh- it was you, babe.

Fortuneshopper: How long?

Jazzper: How long wht?

Fortuneshopper: how long hav u bin cheating on me?

Jazzper: Alice, I'm not.

Fortuneshopper: LIAR!! YOU ASSHOLE!! NO ONE CHEATS ON ME!! NO ONE!!

Fortuneshopper has logged off

Jazzper: Alice--no...wait...dammit.

Jazzper has logged off

shya like? whether ya do or ya don't, REVIEW!!

Else face the wrath of...dun dun DUUUUUNNN...COWBOY FLUFF-MAN!!