Chapter 1: Meet Bahamut's Evil Twin

"Oh, sorry guys, I gotta go!" yelled Odin. "Thank Etro I got this new helmet fixed before my mistress called me..."

"Yeah, that's right!" Bahamut muttered as the horse Transformer left. "Just go off, have fun kicking bad guy ass. You know, horses aren't even that cool anymore."

"Well, neither are dragons," pointed out Stiria, eating chocolate.

"Where did you get that?" yelped Hetacon.

"Bugger off!"

Bahamut was incensed. "What d'you mean, neither are dragons?"

"You kidding?" asked Nix, still trying unsuccessfully to get her palm unglued from her face. "Have you seen some of the dragons around lately? I mean, come on; Spyro is, like the cutest thing ever. And let's not forget that movie, How to Train your Dragon. Not exactly the picture of fearsomeness."

"Is that even a word?" sneered Bahamut.

"Well, I think that Cynder is pretty sexy in her evil form," commented Bryn.

"I thought that Fang was the lesbian," said Stiria.

"Really? I could've sworn it was Vanille."

"No, it's totally Lightning. It has to be; people ship her with every single girl ever!"

"They also ship her with every single guy," pointed out Bahamut. "Anyway, that's not the point! The point is that dragons are still awesome!"

"Yes, they are," said Hetacon dreamily.

Nix looked dubiously over at Hetaconcheir. "Has he been taking his mistress's pills again?"

"Nope!" replied Het loudly. "Bahamuuuut, we should totally go to my room. I have this awesome waterbed..."

The awkward silence that followed this was broken by Odin's return. The moment he came back, he collapsed to the floor, panting.

"The hell is wrong with you?" asked Bryn.

"Help..." whispered Odin. "He's too evil..."

A dark vortex appeared before him, and an even darker creature appeared before the group. Odin cowered in fear, Bahamut shielded his face, Stiria ate another chocolate, Nix facepalmed with her other hand, Hetaconcheir got a nosebleed, and Alexander... continued drawing.

"Muahahaha!" crowed the newcomer. "Fear me, bitches! I am the almighty Chaos Bahamut."

"Not another one," moaned Brynhildr.

"Oh yes another one," purred Het through his nosebleed. "Just look at that hotness..."

"Allow me to show off my evilness!" roared Chaos Bahamut. "I will bring down the Authoress!"

"Impossible!" cried Odin.

"Yes! You see, up until now, she's been spelling Hecaton's name WRONG!"

"Aww," whimpered Hec. "I liked it the other way."

Suddenly, Chaos Bahamut caught sight of the other Bahamut. "YOU!"

"'Sup," muttered Bahamut sulkily.

"Wait, you two know each other?" asked Stiria, confused.

"We're twin brothers. He's the evil one," added Bahamut. "I call him CB."

"It's the most non-threatening, demeaning nickname ever!" whined CB. "Please don't call me that."

Odin raised his hand, still looking very, very afraid. "Hey, CB, I have a question."

"Speak, weakling! But first..." He shot a burst of blue flame, melting Odin's helmet. Ignoring Odin's scream of despair, he added, "That was for calling me CB!"

Odin sobbed, so Nix had to read his mind and ask the question for him. Can she do that? Yes. Yes she can. It's the permanent facepalm. It lets her do it.

"He wants to know if, since it's pretty obvious that both of your masters have a lot of sexual tension going on, that means that people are going to start shipping the two of you together."

"Ridiculous!" laughed CB.

Somewhere far away, a random fangirl decides to write a lemon between Odin and CB.

Stiria yawned, waved her hand, and everything around her froze. "The Authoress would like to apologize for any spelling mistakes she has made thus far. She is very bored and lazy, and cannot be bothered to fix them. Oh, and she also can't, since she was just KO'd by CB's evilness."

Alexander finished his rabbit drawing. He was very happy with it. He put it down, grabbed a new piece of paper, and then started drawing another one.