Dark Side
By: TracyCook
Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to the creator of Glee.
Couple: Quinn/Rachel
Rating: M
Chapter 2
Grand Gestures
Rachel pushed her boyfriend against the wall of the janitor's closet pressing herself flush against him as her lips pressed against his. He kissed her back letting out grunts of both shock and arousal, the last thing that Finn Hudson had expected that day was for the diva to want to have sex with him again. The experience had seemed to be unenjoyable for her the first time, yet here she was seducing him in the closet, so maybe he was wrong.
Pulling away a little he smirked confidently. "You must have really loved the other night."
The short girl looked up at him, her eyebrows knit together as she tried her hardest not to compare every little part of the interaction between Finn and herself, with the interaction with Quinn earlier.
"Yes, of course I did. You are my boyfriend Finn so why would I not enjoy being intimate with you? While I admit that you still have some learning to do as far as what to touch and what not to touch." She gave a disgusted look. "And while a janitorial closet is far from romantic, I could no longer resist these urges for you, because you are my boyfriend and I love you."
Honestly the brunette was trying to convince herself more than anything. Because he was her boyfriend and she did love him, so she should enjoy kissing him more than her worst enemy. 'Were her lips this slobbery? Were her kisses this sloppy? He is just too tall it hurts my neck to kiss him, Quinn is the perfect height and her body was just so soft…' As she recalled the scene from earlier in the hallway her body immediately started to heat up and she could feel wetness forming between her thighs.
Now she was really getting into the make out session.
She was actually longing for Finn. 'Quinn.'
As the blonde's name crossed her mind she pulled away from her boyfriend. Lips firmly pressed together as her eyebrows furrowed in confusion and her large brown eyes filled with worry and emotion. "No." Rachel whispered lifting her hand to her lips staring up at him, watching his smile fall. It nearly broke her heart.
"What is wrong Rach?" Finn questioned, a little frustrated with the distance put between them.
Quickly the diva covered up her mistake, forcing a full-watt grin onto her features as she backed toward the door. "Nothing is wrong Finn. I do wish to continue this very soon, I simply forgot that I have a test next hour that I cannot miss!" With that she turned and opened the door before bolting down the hallway.
"God no, god no." 'I was just thinking about Quinn while kissing my boyfriend! The boyfriend I cheated on! The boyfriend who I wanted more than anything… I am a horrible, horrible person.'
O
Quinn had nowhere else to turn, she could not talk to her friends about her feelings for a certain diva, while Brittany would be more than supportive and tell her to be herself Santana would never let her live it down. Not after how many times she tortured and made fun of the other girl's appearance and attitude. Her mother was definitely not an option seeing as she would condemn the blonde to hell. Finn would of course not help her, Puck would insist upon hundreds of lesbian jokes, and any of the others in glee would tell the entire school by the morning.
So, she went to the one person she felt safe talking to in the school. Emma Pillsbury. Although she knew that the councilor would undoubtedly have no useful advice for her, at least she would not tell anyone about the situation and she would listen. Uncomfortably, but honestly Quinn didn't care at this point, she needed to vent.
Walking into the office she watched as the redhead jumped and glanced up at her quickly, taking on the appearance of a dear in the headlights. "Oh, hello Quinn. Um come on in, take a seat. Do you um have something that you uh need to talk about?" She asked raising her hands fidgeting.
Quinn didn't sit down, instead choosing to pace in front of the councilor's desk. "Yes I do. It's about Rachel." Normally she would have censored herself but she was past her breaking point and quite honestly she was pissed off, she could still feel the sting of the shorter girl's hand on her cheek.
"Is this about Finn because um I honestly do not feel that it is your place to—"
"This is not about Finn!" She growled out, her stomach twisting in jealousy and anger at the mere mention of the star quarterback.
"Oh." Emma paused looking down at her hands as she twiddled her fingers together uncomfortably. Obviously uncertain of what to say next. "Well, then um, what is it about?"
"I think—" She paused chewing on her bottom lip as she paused mid-pace, she had never said the words out loud and now that she was being faced with it she found her voice stuck in her throat. Could she really admit the feelings she had been hiding for so many years verbally? Could she really admit that she was in love with Rachel freaking Berry? Would Emma even believe her if she did? 'God knows I would not blame her if she did not believe me after how horrible I have been for so many years.'
Emma waited patiently, knowing that sometimes people simply needed to think about how to say something before going about it. Large brown eyes watched the teenager tense up before relaxing.
"I think, that maybe—" She paused once more looking down at her feet not knowing if she should flee the scene and pretend it never happened, or simply blurt out her feelings and fall to pieces like she swore up and down she would never do. Finally, letting out a breathe she allowed her body to relax and stated in a monotone voice. "I'm in love with Rachel Berry."
Now the redhead was at a loss for words as her mouth fell open and her bush-baby eyes widened considerably, she had not been expecting those words. After a glare from Quinn, she quickly pulled herself together to the best of her ability as she stuttered out. "Uh b-b-but how? I mean um you uh do not even like her. I mean last that I um checked you didn't like her but—wow. I-I well, I don't think that I um have any pamphlets on this at the moment but um let me check really quick—" She started rummaging through her desk still rambling awkwardly which was growing to agitate the blonde.
"I don't need a freaking pamphlet!" She practically screamed at the older woman causing her to squeak out and reach for her gloves in order to start cleaning due to her nerves.
"Well, then I um I don't know if I can be of assistance Quinn. Perhaps you should talk with someone else about it." Now she had her gloves on and was cleaning off her desk meticulously. Quinn forced herself to take a few breaths before taking a seat across from the desk.
"I am sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you. It's just so frustrating." She spoke softly.
Emma smiled showing that she accepted the apology, before frowning a little as the blonde dropped her face into her hands groaning out in frustration at her feelings. She would never point it out to the younger girl, but she could swear she even heard sobs. "Quinn… It is going to be okay. You just um, need to keep your chin up?"
"I am so tired of staying positive; I am so tired of praying that things get better Miss Pillsbury. They never get better. I love Rachel Berry, the girl who I torture and make fun of, the girl who's boyfriend I stole on numerous accounts, the girl who I just made out with in the hallway, and she wants nothing to do with me." Emma cringed a little at the mention of Quinn making out with the girl in the hallway, despite kissing Will in the hallway she really did not approve of said behavior. Especially said behavior between the two members of her Celibacy Club.
"You two um kissed?" The redhead tried.
"Yes. We kissed." She said, head still in her hands.
"And she um well, she kissed you back?" Emma mumbled uncomfortably as she ran her gloved fingers over a dusty spot on the desk.
"Yes." Quinn said before glancing up hardened hazel eyes connecting with large browns. "She was completely into it, right before she slapped me across the face and practically proclaimed her love for Finnocence." She chuckled under her breath shaking her head, still keeping eye contact with the older woman.
"Names." She tried to correct the blonde, only to receive a scowl.
"Whatever." The cheerleader stated in an angry tone, her voice low and testing before she asked. "You know what the worst part is though?"
"What?"
"I honestly do not blame her." Quinn stated slowly with an almost demented look on her face before she quickly stood to her feet throwing her hands up and pacing the room again. "I mean even if she did feel something toward me physically, even if I did turn her on and I guarantee that I did." She pointed a finger at the councilor.
"Um." Was all that Emma could say as she squirmed uncomfortably in her seat.
"Even if I did set her body on fire and make her ache for more, it doesn't matter. Because I cannot blame her for not loving me after everything that I put her through, after all of the times that I tortured her, after all of the names that I made up just to hurt her." She started to cry again wiping away the tears furiously as they fell. Not wanting to ever appear so vulnerable.
"Why, um why did you make fun of her so much? I mean Quinn you practically sought her out every chance that you got over the last four years… Why?"
"Because I love her!" She groaned out throwing up her hands again in complete annoyance.
After Emma once again jumped from the sudden waving of the blonde's arms she looked down at her hands and tried to understand what she could possibly mean. She would never hurt Will, not in a million years. Certainly not because she loved him. "I fail to understand the correlation between the two."
"Because-because—" She fell back onto the couch and leant her head back. "Because I am a mess and I wanted to hide my attraction toward her but I found myself drawn to her all of the time. My father would have killed me if he found out, I would have been kicked off of the cheerleading squad, my popularity would have suffered, so I did the only thing I could do to be near her but hide my feelings."
"You teased her." Emma mumbled, smiling a little at the awkward cuteness of the situation.
"Yes. I teased her." Quinn finally relaxed a little as the truth was now all on the table. She felt better after crying and venting, even if it had not lasted very long. Straightening her shoulders she returned her good posture and crossed her legs staring at the councilor with expectant hazel eyes.
"This is actually very common." Pausing the redhead glanced away mumbling. "Usually with grade-schoolers, but still, common. People often um make fun of the person that they like for varying reasons. Yours happened to be your fear of um your homosexuality?"
"I'm not gay." She denied.
"See, there you go again."
The blonde rolled her eyes and practically growled out as she shook her head. "Obviously I am not gay, I had a child. I have been attracted to men."
"Have you? I mean um I hate to bring it up again, but when you kissed Finn or Puck did you um feel the same way you felt when you kissed Rachel?"
Quinn chewed on her pink bottom lip; she could still taste the brunette on them. Even though it had been some time since their kiss. Perhaps it was her imagination playing tricks on her, but she could still feel those plump perfect lips pressed against her own. 'God I am going crazy…' "No, but I did find them attractive. I have never been interested in any other girl, it's just Berry. But she has Finnessa and he's apparently the only girl she is interested in." She sneered.
"Again with the names. You are very um jealous I wager?"
The blonde raised a perfect eyebrow causing the redhead to quickly start fidgeting and move on to give her advice. "Honestly Quinn I do not know what advice to give you. After so many years of torturing her are you now ready to admit your feelings? To show everyone? Because truthfully I see that being the only way to win Rachel's trust, and you will need that before um developing a relationship. Rachel is in love with grand gestures. She needs to know you care about her more than um kissing her inappropriately in the hallway."
Thinking it over for a moment the blonde contemplated if she was ready to risk her reputation for the woman she loved. She had already lost so much that at this point it would not be much more she decided. "I would give it all away just to kiss her again." She breathed out softly, a blush tainting her high cheekbones. 'I cannot believe I just said something so pathetic and cheesy… what is wrong with me lately…? I'm not even me anymore.'
Emma actually could see the love for the first time and a smile tugged at her lips "Well then um I would suggest a grand gesture." Pausing she thought about the many ways that Quinn had hurt Rachel and added "Maybe numerous grand gestures. Just for good measure."
"Do you have any suggestions?"
Authors Note:
Please leave reviews and tell me if you like it so that I know if I should continue this fic or not! Thank you all for reading! You guys rock! :)
-Tracy Cook