Once more, greetings many, fanatics of Death Note!
(Brain-San: Vin-dork say, Hi.)
First of business; shout-outs:
Artemisgirl: Plot? What, please, makes noise 'plot'?
anon.: Not PC? I make no fun Japanese person-I merely point out stupid translations...Thank you much for liking.
Lija-Chan: Much thank yous. You want me write more better? Or write more, is better? Too funny is good, yes?
Growing pain: You do know I say 'Righto eat (food)' to father, correct? No 'Righto eat father', yes? Thank you kindly much for good review!
amy-the-rat: Brain is broken? You say my 'Brain' broke, or your brain? Both may be correct. Room with padded walls, you see if next door is 'Vinnie', possible...
(Story must, insert here begin.)
Chapter the Two; Death Note: Kirrer.
How are we to catch Kirrer, Assistant chief Yagami?
We must ask help of greatest detective in world.
You mean...?
Hi.
Hai.
No.
No hai?
No, L. Say hi 'L'.
L?
Hai, Aizawa-Man. Funny looking kid with no name. He comes now here.
Mysterious, androgynous, detective-child who dresses funny, comes here now?
Yes. He that perches like bird, and eats constantly. He appear by computer.
How do we know computer-man is L, Yagami-San?
Matsuda-fool! Look at computer screen—you see big letter 'L'?
Hai...
What means by big letter 'L'?
L! L is 'L'! You lack obviously superior intellect like Yagami-son.
Yagami-San? You refer to Yagami-son, Lighto?
Hai, Lighto-kun.
Lighto-San Yagami-son?
Hai. Yagami-son Lighto-San. He also, is possessing great skills of detective, Mogi.
Mogi is great detective?
Incorrect, detective-whose-name-does-not-matter: Lighto-kun is great detective-son.
So, 'L' is great detective: Lighto-San is great detective whose name begin with 'L'...Yagami-son Lighto is great detective 'L'?
No. But we now know not only that Matsuda-San speak too much, but also why Matsuda-San is known by familiar name of 'Tota'.
(Author's spurious aside: The root word 'tot', pronounced, 'tote,' is found in many languages, and has several common meanings: 'dead,' and 'stupid.')
Thank you, assistant chief of Japanese police, for your valuable assistance. I use you now as bait for Kirrer.
How so?
Kirrer in Japan. Maybe here, within you.
Kirrer smart. How is it that you know that he is in Japan?
How is, that you not know this is true? I 'L', smartest detective in world, see immediately that innocent convicted criminals who die first, die in Japan. Coincidence?
You insult NPA. Possible that Kirrer execute elementary trick of making appear he in Japan. Begin groupings of killing here, to sole purpose of throwing off track great detective 'L'.
He makes announcement on Japanese TV.
Trick.
He is 'Kirrer'. No self-respecting American criminal killer calls himself 'Kirrer'.
Simple trick. He is reader of poorly-translated Manga.
Good point, Yagami-San... I have not considered this conclusion. You are smart man. Your son also, very smart, yes? Smarter, even, than Yagami-San?
Hai! Please not to rub in, in front of colleagues. Righto-Kun will go to best university. He studies most hardly, this very moment. Righto-son kick ass.
Kick ass?
Much ass.
Ass-kicking occurs at school?
Hai.
Righto-son fit profile of Kirrer.
Hahahahahaha! American humor. I laugh, not inappropriately, yes?
Hahaha...yes. I make a good joke at your son, Righto! Please to keep close eye on Righto-San, Yagami-San son.
Ha! Another comment of humorousness.
No. (Bites into candy.)
Hai. (Introspective frown.)
Yuk. You will make assistance in my killing-progress?
You will provide Apple?
Yes—provided you no longer use my room.
Why?
Do you not have nose? Use lavatory, please.
So sorry, not used to very high water content of Apple...
How may I kill? Heart-attack is always boring.
You may make other deaths. Instructions in book...
...are deliberately vague, yes?
I will help you as much as I can. As long as it amuses me.
You find in killing, only amusement?
I also like Apples...
Look here, Yuk. I am genius, without doubt. I will hide book of death in secret-drawer-within-secret-drawer, connect to destruct device. So clever, yes?
Is it still secret, why you tell me?
Why I!...have Apple.
I like secret. Lighto-San is most very clever genius. Humans so interesting, yes?
Also observe police data I hack into so easily. I see great detective of world, 'L', will dedicate his life to catch Yagami-Kirrer. He is so smart, find I am in Japan, call FBI of America to follow NPA. Think you he is clever enough to discover me Kirrer?
I like Apples.
Ha! So smart 'L' appears on my televison. He dares to make me kill him. So easy. Good bye-'L'-San.
So clever, Righto?
So for 'L'.
Righto-San-TV message say 'L' you kill is not 'L'. What say you now?
He find I remote-kill. So what? If only I can find out real name, and face. Then I win.
Yuk can do that.
No kill I. But Yuk eyes see name of face. Man you kill on TV-I see his name is not 'L'.
You help kill Righto?
No. I will make you a good deal on Yuk-eyes. You may purchase eyes of Yuk. Then, you will see name-goes-with-face, and date of death.
How much is Shinigami eyes of Yuk?
Just for today, only half of remaining life of Righto-San.
How long?
Just for today...
No! How long is life of Righto remaining?
I cannot say...
You cannot tell me, for fear of King-of Shinigami?
I cannot tell, for fear of make things less interesting.
Interesting in Apples?
I cannot tell. Rules are to Shinigami important, yes?
You are crafty also, Yuk.
So, yes.
So. I now make homework with myself and annoying sister Sayu. You eat Apples please in lavatory.
Hai.
I always mean to ask you another thing, Yuk. Where do you get cool belt buckle?
I win it a skate palace.
You roller skate?y
Very well, thank you. Chicks dig it.
Chicks dig Roller skate?
No. Chicks dig belt buckle. It have special power to make them...er...ah...how to say?
Never mind, you blush.
How may I obtain belt of chick-magnet?
Special today, you may have my belt. Only give me half your remaining life-span...
Oy...you never stop with that, do you?
Hee hee. So interesting, always, humans.
Thank you, please, for reading. And reviewing
(Brain-San: Thank you, please, for to understand Brain is not responisible for (stupidity) of Vin...)
Review, thank you.