2: One Lie

"So how're things with you and Kousei?" Kashiwagi asks. They sit on a bench a few blocks from Tsubaki's apartment, Kashiwagi guards some small bags filled with clothes and assorted treats. Tsubaki idly bites at a popsicle, the flavour sweetening her mouth. Unable to stop herself, she blushes. Normally, when Kashiwagi would bring up Kousei, Tsubaki would say something to dismiss her and pretend not to have feelings for him. But since that day when they hid from the rain, the thought of Kousei makes Tsubaki feel clumsy and foolish.

"What do you mean?" she replies, her shoulders tensing slightly and brushing a lock of hair aside to try and hide her brightening face. In front of them is a baseball field the two of them have been debating whether to play on.

"You know what I mean," Kashiwagi tells her, rolling her eyes. Tsubaki sighs, giving up.

"He didn't practise for his performance the other day," she says finally. "Imagine the things that could have gone wrong!"

"Did anything go wrong?" Kashiwagi asks, Tsubaki hesitates for a second.

"Well, no"

"Then does it matter?" she raises her eyebrows.

"Of course it does! What if he doesn't know the notes right? What if he gets the tempo wrong?" Kashiwagi sighs as Tsubaki lists off all of the things that could have gone wrong. Since she moved to the same city as Kousei, Tsubaki and Kashiwagi found it hard to stay connected, but they manage to talk to each other in person whenever possible.

"You can't force him to practice, Tsubaki," she tells her. "All you can do is be there for him. Like you always have." This strikes Tsubaki. Like I always have. She thinks. I can't be there for him the way I want to.

"You think I don't want to be there?" Tsubaki asks. "He doesn't want me there! He's so lonely, and he keeps shutting me out. So—"

"So don't let him," Kashiwagi tells her simply. "You said you'd stay with him forever, so do it. Be with him whether he likes it or not." Like your guardian angel. "Don't let him shut you out, or you can't help him."

The once green and vibrant leaves have begun to glow a faint yellow, the first sign of the approaching Autumn. Soon, the road and pavement will be covered in the dead plant and the temperature will drastically fall. Kousei walks with his hands in his pockets, looking down at his shoes as they fall in front of one another.

Stop looking down! A voice calls from inside him. Willingly, Kousei lifts his head up, half expecting to see her like he always used to when walking home. Peering at some tree or stroking a stray cat. The memory makes Kousei smile, but lingering on it brings a pit in his stomach and his smile fades.

The sun has begun to set, the beautiful oranges and reds seem pale and yellow to Kousei. Before he can think, he realises that he is about to walk into somebody. Only when he dodges out of the way, does the person look up and he sees Emi's surprised eyes.

"Emi?" Kousei almost doesn't recognise her. Instead of her long red dress he always sees her wearing, she wears a blue hoodie and some dark trousers. "Don't you live on the other side of town now?"

"Yeah, I was...visiting a friend," Emi says. Kousei is about to say something else before she interrupts him. "Why didn't you accept your trophy the other day?" There is a moment of silence.

"It wasn't about winning for me," Kousei tells her. "I shouldn't be playing to win. I should be playing because...because I'm a musician." Emi's usual scowl softens, then hardens again.

"Other people were playing to win! They put as much effort into learning it as you did!" I hope not. Kousei thinks. "You could have had the decency to accept the trophy!"—Emi looks down for a moment—"See you at school Kousei." She's walking away when he calls for her.

"Emi!" she looks back. "Sorry?" He tries. After a moment, she smiles slightly. Then she continues walking away.

"She's nice," a voice says as Kousei turns around. She stands in front of him, holding her violin case in front of her, her skin as bright as the day he met her. Those eyes pierce him through the heart. "You haven't forgotten me already, have you?" She smiles the kindest smile Kousei has seen. Unable to meet her eyes, he lowers his head and walks forward, almost able to hear her skipping alongside him.

Movie night has become a weekly tradition for Kousei, Tsubaki, Kashiwagi and Watari. This week, it was Kousei's turn to provide a movie to watch. Watari always provides food, stuffing everyone with sweets and popcorn. Throughout, Kousei's mind is a million miles away, he barely even notices Tsubaki's head pushing against his arms, her breathing heavy.

You've not forgotten me already? Have you?

If I did, you'd come back to haunt me. Kousei thinks. The movie blurs past Kousei, his senses never really seem to concentrate on it and he doesn't know what is happening.

"You're so unfocused," she says, leaning against the wall, next to the television. "When was the last time you concentrated?" She asks.

"Not for a long time," Kousei hears himself say calmly.

"Then you should try harder!" She yells, eyebrows frowning. "You can't use me as an excuse anymore Kousei Arima!" There is a few moments before Kousei thinks of something to reply with.

"Please," he pleads. "Just let me move on." His voice trembles, she shakes her head.

"I live inside of you," she tells him. "Remember?" When the movie ends, Watari finished off the rest of the sweets, shoving them into his mouth before anyone else can grab any.

I enjoyed that more than I thought I would!" He declares, Kashiwagi shrugs.

"It was okay," she says. When Watari asks what she means, she explains. "Well, there was no real resolution. We don't get to know what the characters do after everything happened. There was so many loose ends that could have been tied up."

"Maybe that was the point," Kousei suggests, standing up. "Maybe it doesn't matter what happens after. Maybe all that matters is the story itself." Kashiwagi shrugs complacently. They talk for a while about school, Watari decided to go to a normal college in the nearby town so there would be easier access to his friends. Kashiwagi managed to get into an all girls school a few miles away. After hearing this, Watari somehow found an excuse to visit her, something Kashiwagi deemed as an attempt to prey upon the girls there.

"Hey Kousei, are there any girls at your school?" Watari asks.

"Yes, but a lot of them are like Emi," Watari had managed to meet Emi after one of her performances. He didn't leave a good first impression and he was left lying on the ground with more than a few bruises after he hit on her.

Kashiwagi and Watari leave first, hoping to catch the closest train. As they leave, Kousei hears Watari begin one of his "professional flirtation techniques" the thought of this working manages to make him laugh a little. Tsubaki helps Kousei pick up the rubbish left behind.

"Did you enjoy the movie," Kousei asks eventually. She thinks for a moment.

"Yeah, it was...good," she tells him.

"Really? Because I could swear that you were asleep for half of it," he jokes. This makes Tsubaki laugh.

"Sorry," she says.

"Well, I guess I'll get a better movie next time," Kousei says. Tsubaki picks up a wrapper off the floor, when she stands up, something catches her eye. A small notice-board littered with photographs of Kousei's friends and family, but what attracts Tsubaki's attention the most is the unfolded piece of paper in the middle. It can't be. She thinks.

"Kousei, wh-what's that?" she asks, afraid to know the answer. He notices what she looks at and reaches to grab it, but Tsubaki is closer and carefully takes it from the board. Reading the letter, Tsubaki knows exactly the person who wrote it, every word is exactly what she would say. Every word seems to float off the paper and into her eyes, stinging them with emotion. As she goes further down the paper, Kousei notices Tsubaki mouthing something. Just two words.

One lie.

Everything after that is a blur of tears Tsubaki can't control, but she powers on until the very end, noticing the tear marks already on the paper.

"Tsubaki," Kousei says, knowing she has finished. "I—"

"You didn't tell anyone?" She interrupts him, her voice breaking in her throat.

"No," he says finally.

"You didn't think to tell Watari that his whole relationship with K...Kaori was a lie?" Tsubaki can barely hold herself together. "You couldn't tell m...me?"

"No," Kousei says again. Hearing Kaori's name again strikes a nerve that hurts him to the core and makes him want to cry with her. "I couldn't tell anyone, I couldn't bring myself to." Tsubaki can't think, the tears falling down her cheeks are draining all of the power out of her.

"Why...why do I even try with you?" she asks herself. "What's the point? I can't get through to you!" She looks back at the letter once more. "What did she leave you? It says she left you something, what was it?" Kousei can't look her in the eyes.

"Picture next to my bed," he tells her. After a moment, she moves to the bedroom and finds the photograph. She's there, smiling, alive, happy. And Kousei almost hides in the background, leaving as fast as he can.

"Tsubaki—"

"Don't. Okay? Just don't," without a second thought, Tsubaki rushes out of the room and out of the apartment. When the door closes, Kousei breaks down into a fit of sobs. He leans against the wall, the tears dripping onto the carpet.

One lie.

That's all it took

Hope you enjoyed! I got a tonne of feedback on Fanfiction. Thank you very much!
Onto more serious business. With this story, I'm trying to tie up the loose ends left at the end of the show. Things that I wish we'd (canonically) have seen in some form. I guess that's kind of the point of Fanfiction.