When they got home, Castle took a long, hot shower to try to clear his mind. Afterwards, he went upstairs to check on his mother and daughter before going to bed. He felt like it was pointless to lay down because he knew he wasn't actually going to fall asleep. He really wanted to go back to the hospital, but that wasn't really an option since everyone had made it clear he should get some rest. As he walked down the hall, he noticed Alexis's room was dark, but he could hear sniffling coming from inside.
"Alexis?" he asked as he softly knocked on the door.
"Yeah"
"Are you ok?" he asked and opened the door slightly.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just can't fall asleep," she responded, but Castle could tell by her voice that she had been crying.
"Mind if I come in and turn the light on?"
"No," she said shifting to sit up in bed.
"I'm sorry I wasn't really there for you earlier. Do you want to talk?" He asked as he sat on the edge of her bed.
"I was so scared," Alexis said softly and scooted closer to her father.
"I know, sweetheart. I was too." He pulled her into a tight hug.
"You could have been the one shot. You tried to take that bullet for her. It could have been you."
"I wasn't thinking, and I just acted. I just wanted to protect her. I can't apologize for that."
"I need you to be careful. I can't lose you."
"I'm not going anywhere," Rick said giving her another squeeze.
"Do you think the person that shot her is going to come back and try again?"
"I don't know. I hope not, but we are going to be very careful. Ryan and Esposito are going to set up security. I'll hire private people too. We are all going to be fine."
"What time are you going to see Beckett in the morning?"
"I'm not sure, but it will be early. I think you and Gram should stay home and get some sleep. You can come by the hospital later," Castle replied.
"You'll keep us updated?"
"I will"
"I care about her too, you know. You're not the only one."
"I know you do, and I know she cares about you too."
Alexis yawned and snuggled further into her father's side.
"Try to get some sleep, Pumpkin. We can talk more tomorrow," Castle said and softly kissed the top of her head.
"I love you."
"I love you too, Alexis."
Castle headed back downstairs and got in bed. He checked his phone once again to make sure he didn't have any messages and the ringer was up all the way. Satisfied with it he set it on his dresser and attempted to fall asleep.
At 7am Castle arrived at the hospital and went straight to the ICU. It wasn't hard to spot Ryan and Esposito sitting on both sides of a room's entrance. Castle bypassed the nurse's station and went right to them.
"How is she?"
"No change overnight. The nurses said that's good," Ryan answered.
"Ok, Ok. Is her dad in there?"
"Yeah, but I think he's asleep. He hasn't left all night."
"Did the doctor come by yet?" Castle asked.
"No, but he should be here soon. They've been working their way around," Esposito replied as he pointed to the group of doctors entering a patient's room 2 doors over.
"We talked last night about setting up a security detail. LT and Velasquez are coming at 9 to take over for us, and we are heading over to the precinct to see if we can get the lab report from the gun and look over all the witness statements. We need to get moving on the investigation," Ryan added.
"What can I do?" Castle asked.
"We'll call if we find anything, but for now just stay with her. We are still not 100% sure who can be trusted.. not after... And she should wake up some time relatively soon so you should be here," Esposito answered.
"You guys seem to think she is going to need me. Since when does Kate Beckett need anyone? She's never going to let me take care of her, and I need to do something."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that. Beckett is stronger than any of us, but after all this she is going to need someone, and we all know no matter what she says you aren't going to leave her side," Ryan offered.
"Yeah... Ok," Castle shrugged. He refused to get his hopes up that Kate would accept his help. "Do you think I should hire private security?"
"I don't think we're there yet. We have people set up for the next 24, and Ryan and I will be back too," Esposito answered quickly.
"But you guys need to sleep sometime and someone has to run the investigation," Castle questioned.
"Maybe you should hire someone? It would have to be someone we could trust, so I don't know, but we really need to get to work to catch this guy," Ryan relented.
"It's our job to protect her. I don't even want to leave her with LT and Velazquez. I'm not leaving her safety in someone I don't know's hands," Esposito answered in a no nonsense tone.
"Javi, we can't be everywhere at once," Ryan said struggling not to raise his voice.
"If we couldn't even trust Montgomery, tell me who the hell we can?" Esposito replied with fire.
"I don't know, but we have to do something."
"Gentlemen!" Jim Beckett grabbed everyone's attention.
"Sorry, Sir," the three younger men said together.
"The nurses are going to kick you guys out. They let you stay, don't go and get yourselves booted out of here. Someone tell me what the problem is. Did something happen?"
"No, we are just trying to figure out the best way to keep Kate safe," Castle answered after a pause.
"I appreciate it. I really do. I know you guys want to protect Katie, but we are going to have to find a better way to keep her safe than arguing in the hallway."
"We will," Esposito answered sharply still riled up.
"Good morning. I hope I'm not interrupting," Dr. Kovacs greeted everyone.
"No, of course not. Good morning doctors," Jim said with a smile.
"If you would like to come in with us, we are going to do an exam and talk about what our plans are for today."
"Yes, thank you."
"I'm sorry. Family only. Until she is conscious and gives her consent, I can't give you any more information," Dr. Kovacs said as he stopped Castle from following Jim.
"When do you think she is going to wake up?"
"Soon, but she is going to be on a lot of medication. She will be groggy, and in and out of sleep for most of the day. We want to keep her as comfortable as possible. I don't except her to be fully conscious till this evening or likely tomorrow morning."
"Ok. Thank You"
Castle just stood there and watched as Jim and the doctors went into her room, pulled the curtain, and slid the clear door shut.
"Have you seen her yet?" Ryan asked
"No. I think I'm going to wait till she wakes up," Castle replied.
"You're allowed to go in when they're done."
"I... I just don't think I can see her like that. I was only going to go in to hear what the doctor said."
Ryan and Esposito just nodded, and the three men silently stood guard until Jim and the doctors came out.
"They stopped giving her the sedative so she should wake up in about an hour. They want us to move to the waiting room in a little bit, so they can ... so they can take her off the ventilator," Jim uneasily told them after the doctors left.
"Ok. That's good," Castle said trying to lighten the mood a bit, but failing.
"Dr. Kovacs said everything looks fine. Her blood work and chest x- ray from this morning look good. They want to just let her rest today, but they will have to do a few tests tomorrow to determine fully where she's at."
"Ok. Sounds good."
"Do you want to go in?" Jim asked Castle.
"No, no. I'm just going to wait till she's awake."
"Ok, well we should head to the waiting room so they can take care of everything," Jim said knowingly. It hadn't been easy for him to see Kate like that either.
"I need to call Lanie. Can you wait here until they are ready to start?" Esposito asked Ryan.
"Yeah, not a problem," he responded.
"Rick Castle?" A nurse called as she came flying out to the waiting room.
"That's me," Castle answered as he stood.
"I need you to come with me right now."
"What happened?"
"Detective Beckett is asking for you," the nurse explained gesturing for Castle to follow her. She rambled on as they walked,"She's awake but in a lot of pain. We just need to examine her and check a few things. Then, we can give her pain medication, and she'll be able to go back to sleep."
"What do I do?" Rick asked trying not to panic.
"Just try to keep her calm and help her through till the medicine kicks in."
Castle didn't know what to do as he entered the room. Beckett was sitting up in bed struggling to breathe and clearly in pain.
"Kate," was all Rick could force out of his mouth as he approached her bed.
"Castle," she rasped barely audible.
"It's ok. You're ok. The doctors are going to help," he said softly reaching for her hand.
"Just take some slow breaths, Detective. We are giving you some pain medication," a nurse added.
"Castle," Beckett rasped again squeezing his hand.
"I know it hurts. You're going to feel better soon. Hang in there, Kate."
"I love you too," she whispered.
"Oh, Kate. I love you," Castle replied as his eyes filled with tears.
"I'm tired," Kate said around a small smile.
"Just rest. It's ok. Close your eyes." Castle leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head.
"You'll be here?"
"I'm not going anywhere".
A/N: I have had that ending scene in my head practically since right after Knockout aired. Hope you enjoyed it. I would love to hear your thoughts! Good, bad, or otherwise leave me a comment. Kate will actually be awake in most of the next chapter :) It should be up tomorrow, but don't get used to every day updates lol I'm doing my best.
Thanks,
Meagan