Waking up had been awkward, made more awkward by the fact that everyone else was still asleep except Loki who was half dressed. He stretched and groaned.
"What time is it?"
Loki glared at him over his shoulder as he untangled the lacings on his shirt. Who the hell puts laces on a shirt anyway? "It is far past time for reputable men and women to be out of bed and about, but I suppose since you are an adulterer it is perfectly fine to still be lazing about." Loki's smile was poisonous. "How are you feeling by the way? Rested? Well spent? Or an overall feeling of blissful affair?"
Tony's eyes snapped open. He shot a dirty look at the god. "I hate your face right now, you know that? I think you owe me some kinda break from that wit of yours. I got you so laid that you can't walk right." Finally he grinned. "Three girls in one night. Can I get a hell yeah?"
Loki pointedly ignored him as he pulled on his stupid laced shirt. He was shifting his weight suspiciously.
"Gonna take that as a thank you Tony." He laughed softly.
"My mother will be expecting to hear from us about our Tour by midmeal. In case your slow mortal mind cannot fathom what that means, we must finish our tour by then. So drag my great lumbering brother from his bed and get to breakfast." He turned and opened the door. "Oh, and be a dear and dismiss those maidens while you are at it, wont you?"
Tony threw a pillow at the door and giggles erupted from beside him and Thor began to groan and stretch. Tony watched as the God of Thunder crawled out of bed and strutted a bit in front of the girls and then stretched again. He was tall, muscled, well built, totally cut, and right in front of Tony's face.
"Fuck Thor, seriously? Morning wood and everything." Tony groaned and slapped a hand over his face
Thor just laughed, "Tis the evidence of true manhood." He smirked at the women and they broke into a fit of giggles.
"Sure thing big guy, but I don't need to see it." He mumbled and then it struck him. "Oh shit, Pepper is going to flay me!" He covered his face with his hands.
Thor, who had been standing chest to chest with one of the girls froze through she didn't. Another young lady was carding her hand through Tony's hair which should have been soothing, but under the circumstances not so much. He could feel a hangover creeping up.
"Jane will not approve either." Thor said softly.
Tony disentangled himself from the sheets of Thor's bed and wasn't that a bit mind blowingly awesome and yet seriously disturbing all at the same time. He tumbled about for a moment before grabbing his pants and hopping on one leg trying to get them up. He shot Thor a disbelieving look, "Yeah she is, unless you are in an open relationship. I sure as hell ain't. Dman it!" He nearly fell on his face. The ladies giggled again.
"Who is this Jane and Pepper you speak of? Surely they must be great women if they inspire such worry in the hearts of their men." A curvy blonde smiled with a raised eyebrow
Thor was suddenly moving. He gathered the cloths for the women and pulled on a pair of linen pants as Tony looked for his shirt and belt. Thor was shutting the door when Tony finally pulled his belt out from under Thor's chainmail. The god whirled around with a serious look on his face and Tony had a bad feeling. He was only half dressed in another man's bedroom getting a too serious look and yeah that's weird.
"Thor, I love you like a brother and that's as far as its going." He glanced around suddenly realizing they were missing part of their party. "Speaking of brothers, where's yours?"
Thor waved him off impatiently. "He left much earlier this morning. I want to ask you, what do you mean 'open relationship'?"
Tony blinked. Oh. "Oh, well it's a relationship where you can still sleep with and go out with other people. Like you could do what you just did and Jane would be ok with it. Likewise, she could do what you just did and you would be ok with it. That sum it up for you buddy?"
Thor looked angry, thunderous even. "Are you suggesting that Jane has not been faithful?"
The god looked ready to take his mortal friend to the mat to protect his lady's honor. Tony could feel himself getting more grey hair. "No, Thor listen. I said that, if you were in an open relationship, you and she would have come to an understanding that that behavior was ok. If you and she have not had this conversation, then it is understood that this behavior is not ok. Did you and Jane have a conversation about a relationship?" Tony decided one step at a time was better for Thor.
The god nodded slowly. "We did, but only in that we decided we had one."
"But nothing about open vs. closed?" Tony prodded. The other shook his head and Tony smiled. "Then it is understood, in our culture, that you and her both expect fidelity in your relationship. So no, she probably has done any honor destroying, but you have."
Thor immediately looked guilty. "What am I to tell her?" He asked helplessly
"Get her something nice. Tell her I was there and was on a mission to get everyone laid, including Loki. Get down on one knee and tell her you are amazingly sorry and that you will never do it again. Then wait for her to stop being angry, cause hell is she gonna be angry." Tony suggested as he pulled his shirt on and walked toward the door.
Thor nodded thoughtfully. "Thank you my friend. Where are you going?" He frowned
"Huh? To get clean obviously. And maybe find for alcohol, yeah alcohol would be nice." Tony grumbled rubbing his head. He could already see the look on Pep's face.
"You know not where your room is."
"… Hey Thor can I use your bathroom?"
"Of course, my friend." Thor chuckled.
000
After a quick cleaning up, Thor and Tony had moved to the Dining Hall, as Thor called it. That sounded a bit fancy until he saw the massive room with an ornate table and chairs. The surface was covered in foods and platters already and several chairs were occupied. Thor leaned close to Tony.
"My father and mother normally take their meals in their rooms as does Loki now, but I prefer to eat with my friends out here."
He then waved to a group of men and a woman near the center of the table. Tony mentally assed them as they drew closer. Woman, dark hair, strong jaw, strong stance, wearing armor before noon, a warrior. Man, slim, blond, good looking, confident stance, also wearing armor, warrior. Man, shorter, dark haired, stoic, buff build, calculating stare, again, armor, warrior. Last but not least by any stretch was a man, tall, huge, happy as a clam, still shoveling food, wearing armor, warrior. So he had an over achieving girl, a playboy like himself, a strong silent type, and a big easy going glutton. Sweet.
"Friends!" Thor called happily as he approached. "Tony Stark, these are my shield brother's and sister of Asgard. Lady Sif and The Warriors Three, Fandral, Hogun, and Volstagg. Friends, this is my shield brother from Midgard, Tony Stark, Man of Iron."
Tony smiled charmingly at them and they grinned happily back.
"We have heard so much about you." The blond Fandral said
"All bad things I am sure." He grinned
"Not at all!" The chunky one, Volstagg laughed. "He tells us nothing, but how smart you are and how cunning. Reminded me a bit of Loki." He was not so discretely elbowed in the side by Sif. "What?"
"Not that you would be capable of doing what Loki did." Sif smiled quickly
Tony's smile was a touch wicked as he responded. "No, I would have won." The others blinked. "Anyways, let's eat. Can't go fixing a Bifrost on an empty stomach."
Thor shook his head, but had a seat next to his friends. The five of them ate and talked. They joked and spun tales of battle and recent events, gossip, what not. Tony sat and watched, he was never one for breakfast. When Thor had finally finished he patted his belly and sighed.
"I have business to attend to so I must be off." He turned to Tony. "Shall I tell Loki you await him here?"
Tony blinked for a second then remembered he had agreed to work with the psycho. He smiled.
"Sure thing."
Thor grinned and stood. "Then I am off. Good day friends."
"Good day." They echoed in unison minus Tony, but Thor smiled none the less as he made his way out of the Dining Hall.
Sif turned to him the instant Thor was gone. "I have heard you agreed to work with Loki. That is brave of you knowing what he can do."
Tony looked at her, a bit surprised, before he realized she was analyzing him much like the quite one, what was his name? Hogun. He put on his poker face and smiled.
"Yes, I must confess I was a bit worried about how it would work out. I mean we are just so much alike he and I." he mock sighed
Volstagg laughed heartily. "Is that so? Did I not say the same thing just a moment ago?"
"Indeed you did. How are you alike do you think, Starkson?" Fandral asked interested now
Tony tried not to twitch at 'Starkson'. "You know, we both had a rocky childhood, relationship wise. We both like big flashy things that out do everyone else. We're both smart. We're both verbally well equipped. And," He smirked right at Sif. "we both can read people pretty easily."
Sif raised an eyebrow before looking away quickly, pretending to check her belt. "Yes, surely you two are very much alike. Except you are a mortal hero and he is a god."
There was a challenge in her eyes that really grated on Tony's ego.
"Well, that depends on who you talk to." He replied seemingly unfazed
"Oh?" Fandral asked
"Yeah, some say that Loki and Thor are gods. Others say that they are not. Some say we are heroes and some say there is a point at which you pass that." He explained casually.
"Are you claiming mortals can be gods?" Fandral sounded fascinated
"Well of course. You call Thor a god, don't you? Things aren't so different on Earth, or uh Midgard. Thor'll tell you, we have some powerful beings of our own." He grinned
"Then you are saying you are a god?" Hogun finally spoke up. Clearly he was tired of beating around the bush.
"Yep."
"Oh, you cannot be serious!" Fandral laughed, but Sif looked skeptical and she was the leader. If Tony could throw her off then he could throw them all.
"Who defeated Loki and stopped an army from invading? Who stopped a God and a Titan from decimating and dominating a world? Who tossed a weapon through their own portal and destroyed them? Who defends the Earth now from invaders? That was us, Gods of Midgard." Tony smirked
"Truly?" Volstagg was the only one brave or dumb enough to ask, but Tony could see interest in the others so he rolled with it.
"Oh yes, we are Gods. I, Man of Iron, am the God of Ingenuity and Intellect; the spark in my chest is the spark of creation. Steve Rogers, Captain America, is the God Bravery and Honor; he inspires and directs those around him in clean and honorable battle. Clint Barton, Hawkeye, is the God of Prophecy and Foreknowing; his eyes see into the future and direct his arrows to fly true. Natasha Romanoff, Black Widow, is the Goddess of Secrecy and Seduction; she can be anyone without changing her appearance in the slightest. Bruce Banner, The Hulk, is the God of Balance and Control; his strength of body is matched by the calm of his temperament and the iron of his will. Our blessings are strong and follow whoever we bestow them upon throughout their line thereafter, but they are hard won.
Thor knows this for he earned his when he so selflessly gave of himself to save us and ours. He displayed quite wonderfully all our own qualities in his own right and thus earned our friendship, blessings, and loyalty. That is what is required of those who seek our gifts, few will be so luck as to receive them as our lives are short and the time we may grant them is all too short and sweet. You think you got what it takes?"
Sif and the warriors three stared in utter amazement. Tony's smile was one of challenge, but on the inside he was laughing. He could just here Cap now. 'Tony! You can't just tell people these things; they won't know you're kidding!' And he would say, 'Well, that was kinda the point there spangles.'
Sif looked skeptical, but her yes kept darting down to the 'spark of creation' in his chest. She opened her mouth, no doubt to ask a question that Tony might not be able to answer since he was pulling this out of his ass. He was saved by a silky amused voice from behind him.
"If you are quite done entertaining, Stark, I believe you were chomping at the bit for a chance to investigate our forges." Loki drawled
Tony's face lit up like a kid's on Christmas. "Sorry guys, questions are gonna have to wait. I have a date with my one true love!"
Fandrel looked quickly between Loki and Tony, the latter of which blew a raspberry at the implication.
"Don't flatter him, I'm talking about science."
"Thank the Norns, I was beginning to worry about unwanted affections." Loki smirked, "Waste not my time Stark, are you coming or not?"
Tony waved a peace sign at the warriors and blew Sif a kiss as he turned to follow Loki.
"You are an indescribably absurd mortal." Loki said as they walked through the golden halls of the palace
"I know, I'm a total show horse. What can I say? Gotta represent."
Loki rolled his eyes and sneered, "They will now be trying to garner your favor at every turn. You came here to help complete a task that requires a great understanding and knowledge. You have failed to prove you are capable of anything other than debauchery and impressive delusions of grandeur."
Tony mentally winced at the reminder of his infidelity, careful not to let it show on his face. By the knowing look Loki gave him, the bastard knew he had hit a nerve none the less. Tony wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of rising to that obvious a bait, but still, some diversionary tactics where in order.
"I believe what you meant to say was that I had proved my stunning wit which I might add, goes hand in hand with amazing intellect. They make wonderful music together. Speaking of which, do you guys have music that doesn't suck? Not that that wasn't some mean harp playing last night, but I think I need something with a bit more kick, more passion, more heart thumping drive, more-"
"Loud, obnoxious, chaos?" Loki offered in a bored tone.
"Exactly. How am I supposed to get my crazy, creative, mad scientist juices flowing without some crazy, creatively mad music?" Loki raised an eyebrow. Tony waved his hands for emphasis, "I need it help me focus."
"You need the loud, blithering, nonsense turned up so loud you cannot hear yourself think to concentrate?" Loki sneered
"I think too hard. Gives me something else to focus my mind on. ADHD." Tony replied. Loki looked decidedly unimpressed. Tony shrugged, "Well, lucky I brought my own."
Loki's head spun around. "You what?"
"I never travel anywhere without my toys. Though if Sif and the others ask, they are the tools of my Godhood. Make it sound as sacred as Thor's hammer. Last thing I need is for anyone to pull a Thor and break my equipment." Tony rambled. "You've no idea the amount of chaos he caused in my lab one time. You would have been proud."
Tony went on to loudly and animatedly explain how Thor, by touching a single welding torch that wasn't even on, managed to shoot the tank for the device across the room and into a window that was really a control panel for the rooms music system. Thor was apparently flustered and, in trying to stop the blaring music, didn't realize he had caught the room on fire until water began to rain down on him. The god then went on to attempt to stop the rain, bringing about a massive thunderstorm. By the time Tony had gotten down to his lab to see what was wrong the room had been utterly demolished. Windows were broken, tables where over turned, and half the room looked like the inside of a chimney. Bits and pieces of equipment and projects lay scattered and water logged on every inch of floor and in the midst of it all sat Thor, sopping wet and looking truly pathetic. He was too upset by the horrid turn of events to even make an effort towards explanation. Tony had been caught between indescribable fury and absolute hilarity. It helped that Jarvis had recorded the whole thing.
"But you know I already gave him my Godly Blessing, loyal friendship what not. So I forgave him. I'm straight up benevolent, I know." Tony smirked
Tony could see the muscles of Loki's face twitching and he grinned even wider.
"Yeah, he's lucky if we even let him use a toaster anymore. Not that he calls it a toaster, it's a poptart maker. Why? Cause it makes poptarts of course. Can't fault his logic on that one."
Loki's mouth was half way to a smile, it just needed one more push.
"Clint put a sign on his door that says Resident Poptart God. He was ecstatic."
Finally Loki broke and cracked a toothy smile and a huff of a laugh.
"Absurd mortal."
000
Loki had to stifle a laugh when Stark caught sight of the horses. He had not known the mortal's dislike of animals, but it was a happy surprise to watch the man duck away from the stead's head as if it might strike him down. It was even more entertaining to watch the man fiddle around and finally mount only to curse his stead and tell the beast it made better food than it did a vehicle when it pawed the ground impatiently. Stark was no horseman.
It didn't help that Loki spurred his horse into a full gallop provoking the other to follow. Stark's startled cry was priceless. As was his face as he fell.
Loki laughed hysterically as the other crawled back into his saddle a dark look on his face. He was still trying to catch his breath as the mortal walked past him.
"I find it hard to believe you are able to mount and please a woman when your skills are so very lacking Mr. Tony Stark. I am beginning to think your prowess as a playboy is highly exaggerated."
Stark held his head high and proclaimed, "I hate your smug god ass right now and don't think there won't be pay back. Cause there will."
"Oh, I look forward to it." He grinned. "Now, though I know your stamina is lacking, do try to keep up this time." And he took off again Stark's cursing following behind. By the time they reached the Iron Works Stark looked like a sincerely horrified cat clawing a piece of furniture. Loki smiled innocently. "Did you enjoy our race?"
"So. Much. Hate."
"Good to hear. I am assuming you know how to dismount yes?"
"…"
Loki laughed again as Stark glared down at his horse. Oh, he was going to enjoy this mortal's little stay. He quickly dismounted and crossed his arms to watch the mortal glare daggers at his stead.
"You could reenact that lovely dismount you so beautifully performed but a few minutes before." He offered
"Oh, haha. You're a riot; have you considered becoming a standup comedian?" Stark sneered. "Just shut the hell up and wait a second, princess."
Scathing though his comeback was, Stark still half falling half sliding out of the saddle. He turned back to Loki looking smug. The god rolled his eyes, "I know infants who can dismount with more grace. Wipe that look off your face, you look like a fool after that display."
"Hey, but I didn't fall!" He protested as they began walking toward the great arches that decorated the entrance to the forges.
"No, you slipped and slid and flopped like a fish dropped on deck of a boat over ridden with starving cats."
"What? Where do you come up with these things?" Stark shook his head
"I am verbose. My point is I cannot be seen in public with you again if you look like that every time." Loki replied
"Well damn, cause I so wanted to spend my days out with you. What will I do with my free time from here on out?" the other rolled his eyes
"Thor will make it his business to impart his horse sense on to you." Loki snorted
"Funny, I thought you were the one with an over abundance of horse sense, Spirit." Stark grinned
Loki shot him a dirty look before smiling nastily. "Are you offering to attempt to ride Sleipnir? How brave of you. I am sure Odin will not mind allowing the great midgardian god of ingenuity to ride his stead and grandchild."
Stark stared at him. "Holy shit, you're serious."
"Of course."
"I think I'm gonna pass." Stark looked uncomfortable.
Loki smirked "Perhaps you should think before you open your mouth next time, hum? Now, if you will, the tour."
The forge master, a dwarf as was custom, smiled and hailed as they approached. Introductions were made and they were taken into the hearth of the Iron Works. Stark looked like a child in a sweets shop. His eyes darted from item to item, element to element, technique to technique. He was soaking information up like a sponge and when the forge master asked if he had questions, he had many and they were engaging and showed clear understanding and intelligence. By the time they left Loki himself felt like he may have learned something. The mortal had every intention of creating in Asgard's forges the pieces they would need for their task. Both the mortal and the forge master seemed extremely excited about the whole ordeal and talked about it at length.
"Of course, Prince Loki will need to instruct you in some magic manipulation first. It will be necessary to work our hearth flames, but he is the greatest sorcerer in the kingdom, perhaps the Nine themselves. You will learn well from him." The forge master's smile was sincere. Weather it was from respect for his prince or excitement from the task he would be involved in, Loki did not know.
Stark smiled and winked at Loki. "I'll be expecting only the best." Loki smirked and shook his head.
Soon enough they were back at the horses, but the mortal was in such a good mood and chattering so much he hardly remembered to be angry or embarrassed about his abhorrent lack of ability. They road and spoke in near congeniality on their way back. Loki's overall assessment was that the mortal was first and foremost entertaining and also quite smart. He just might be able to learn what Loki had to teach magically and academically. It could work this whole business of rebuilding the Bifrost, assuming they did not drive one another mad first. Loki grinned. Yes this was going to be fun either way.
000
A/N: Tada! It's a bit short I know, but it seemed like a good stopping point. I'm gonna go a bit deeper into the metals and what not that they will be using later when Loki and Tony start working together like with the blueprints and what not. Well this will get funnier when the prank war begins. I have some awesome ideas, but since this is mostly for fun I would like to hear any funny ideas yall might have. Not saying I will use them all or anything, but ya know for inspiration and jazz of that nature. Yeah. Anyway! Let me know how yall like the story so far!