A/N: Just so you guys know, I see an appreciate the reviews, faves, and alerts I've gotten so far. My lack of response is generally from either not having anything to say or not knowing what to say, but thank you for taking the time to view this fic!
Thanks again for betaing, Tomoyo-chan284!
...
Despite his rather unpleasant habit of wearing eye searing bright colors all the time and his loud personality, all the neighbors of Konoha Flats would tell you with baffled expressions that Uzumaki Naruto was one man who was near impossible to find when he was up to something. Sometimes you wouldn't hear from him for days at a time, only for him to pop up on your doorstep with a cheeky grin and knowing eyes.
And right afterwards, he would open his mouth to ask a particularly embarrassing question about something you were certain no one else could have possibly seen.
Now given this aspect of Naruto, no one was terribly surprised when the blond disappeared for nearly three days. The true surprise came when the man showed up at the rental office with a sheepish grin and a heavily blackened eye. Most knew better than to ask, because Naruto was just Naruto. Uchiha Sasuke, however, was not known for his tact or respect for others' privacy.
"What happened to you, moron?" the Uchiha male asked bluntly, his dark eyes holding a small spark of curiosity as he slid his monthly rent across the counter to the nosy manager.
The blond woman unabashedly listened in on the conversation as she counted the bills, her blue eyes bursting with the intent to question Naruto further.
"Uh...I sort of ran into a fist?" the orange clad idiot mumbled.
"You ran into a fist," Sasuke said flatly, ignoring the surprised gasp from the woman in front of them. "Try again, moron."
Blue eyes narrowed in irritation. "Seriously, Sasuke, just drop it! It's no big deal!"
"Naruto," his best friend warned, his dark eyes completely serious. "What. Happened?"
"Ok, ok," Naruto finally grumbled. He opened his mouth to begin explaining, but unexpectedly caught the eye of the receptionist who was well known for being a huge gossip and not being able to keep a secret if her life depended on it. While most people would be embarrassed to be caught staring, the blond woman simply handed Sasuke and Naruto their receipts and leaned her elbows on the desk, clearly interested in what he had to say.
Ino Yamanaka had no shame whatsoever, after all.
Sasuke, catching on to the reason for his friend's hesitance, gave the her a look of pure displeasure. "Do you mind, Yamanaka?" he asked scathingly.
"Not at all," she replied primly, her baby blue eyes sharp and attentive. "I'm curious, too."
When she made no sign of moving, Sasuke increased the force of his glare while she merely smirked back.
She knew what Sasuke had been implying, but did she care?
You bet your ass she didn't.
"Smartass," the Uchiha muttered under his breath as he grasped his best friend's arm and began to drag him from the confines of the cramped little office.
"Sasuke, where are-"
"Walk with me," his moody friend snapped impatiently.
"...Ok," Naruto conceded, clearly confused. "But I thought you wanted me to explain about what happened?"
"You can walk and talk at the same time, moron," Sasuke growled in exasperation. "Unless you want Yamanaka telling the entire building why you're sporting a shiner the size of a dinner plate on your face."
The sneer on his face clearly stated his opinion on that particular matter.
"Right," the blond said, his blue eyes averting themselves from the severity in Sasuke's own gaze. He cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable before pursing his lips in thought; clearly he was contemplating the best way to tell Sasuke about what had happened.
"I think the new guy, Gaara, is some kind of crazy axe murderer," he finally said after a long moment of silence. "Well, that or a werewolf," the blond said with perfect severity.
Sasuke stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, his face baffled as he stared at his friend. Of all the things he had been expecting the crazy blond to say (a fight, getting caught peeking in the hot springs), that had not been among them.
"What the hell, Uzumaki?"
Naruto gave a sheepish smile and a rather nervous giggle. "Yeah, I was kind of waiting on him to come out so we could talk since he never leaves his apartment. When he finally did come out, it was pretty late-maybe 2 am?
"Anyway, so he comes rushing out of his place at 2 am covered in red, and I was so shocked that I didn't even bother trying to come out to talk to him. I just sort of sat and stared out the window wondering what the hell I'd just seen."
"You were stalking him for that long?" Sasuke asked, both his brows practically disappearing beneath his bangs as he stared at Naruto in disbelief.
"It wasn't stalking, bastard!" Naruto yells back defensively, his face genuinely affronted. "Besides, I'd been hearing weird noises from his apartment all day and it was freaking me out! Can you blame me for being a little bit curious?"
"No, but I'm sure he could," Sasuke said, pointedly glancing at Naruto's black eye.
"Yeah, yeah," the blond muttered. Once more he cleared his throat. "So anyway, the next day, I go to knock on Gaara's door to see if everything is alright and when I knocked, something started frantically scratching at the door. And I'm standing there practically shitting my pants when Gaara kind of shouts, 'Shut up!' and he pulls open the door-"
"Sounds absolutely murderific so far," Sasuke quips sarcastically. "I'm just this side of pissing myself," he says blandly.
Naruto glared. The effect was mostly ruined by the ugly, round bruise gluing one of his eyes shut, though.
"So he opens the door," he continued loudly, trying his best to drown out Sasuke's sarcasm, "and his face is all scratched up, like some chick took her fingernails to his cheek in desperation, y'know? So I pushed open his door to try and see what was going on-"
"In other words, you stuck your nose where it doesn't belong-" Sasuke broke in.
Naruto gave his friend a distinctly unfriendly look. "Do you want me to tell you or not, bastard?"
Sasuke mimed zipping his lips and Naruto grunted in annoyance.
"Anyway, he got really pissed. Before I realized it, he sort of cocked his fist back and slammed it into my eye, so I didn't get to see anything before he knocked me out on my ass. And then he told me to 'mind my own fucking business before he did worse'."
The look on Sasuke's face was disdainful. "Why am I friends with you again?"
"This is serious, Sasuke! What if he's been holding someone hostage and they almost got free but I fucked it up for them? Or maybe he's been eating people and disposing of the corpses at night!"
"Or maybe he could just be minding his own damn business and not want extra company?" Sasuke's voice drawled slowly and precisely, as if speaking to a child.
Naruto gaped in astonishment. The thought had never occurred to him before.
"Oh." he said rather eloquently. "So he might have a..."
Sasuke shook his head, marveling at his friend's idiocy.
His curiosity now sated, Sasuke sighed through his nose before giving his friend a small sideways glance. Naruto was just being Naruto, and he knew the idiot wasn't really trying to purposely make the new guy's life hell, but sometimes he wished his friend was a little more realistic.
"You owe the guy an apology," Sasuke told his friend rather abruptly as he began walking towards his apartment. Naruto, of course, merely changed course to dog his heels.
"What? You have gotta be fucking kidding me! The guy punches me and I have to apologize?"
The dark haired male ignored his friend's indignation in favor of gracing him with a cool stare. "You invaded his privacy. Besides, I've punched you plenty of times," he reminded.
"That's different, bastard! We're friends so it's ok! And I know he's up to something; I can smell it!"
Now both of Sasuke's eyebrows rose. "Are you sure that's not just the stench of your own guilt?"
The blond flushed. Bingo. Sasuke had definitely struck a nerve there.
And of course, Sasuke wouldn't be Sasuke if he didn't decide to press his opportunity to fluster Naruto even further.
He made a great show of inspecting his nails as he quietly let his best friend squirm. "You could always make it up to him by begging his forgiveness. But I'm sure your pride won't let you do that. So much for you being Konoha Flats' Number One Friendly Neighbor, moron."
The heat of the blond's glare only made the Uchiha's lips curl up from small smile to a full blown smirk.
"Oh yeah? Well I'll show you that I can get anyone to be my friend! I'm gonna go over there and get him to like me if it's the last thing I do!" Naruto declared loudly enough for several people to give him curious looks.
Hook, line, and sinker, Sasuke thought. "Hmph, we'll see," he murmured vaguely, inwardly pleased with his ability to play Naruto like a fiddle.