A/N – Thanks to everyone who's favourited and followed so far! I know this isn't perfect, it's a big learning process for me as it's my first work, but I'm going to try to make it as good as I can! Please review if you've got any tips or general questions or anything really… I'll PM you a reply if it's about the plot or I'll just answer it in the A/N of the next chapter. It's my half term at the moment which is why the updates are quite often, but I'm going to try to keep them regular when I go back, although it's my GCSE year so I have no promises!

Thanks Hammylammy for the review : )

Thanks 😊 I really appreciate you reading this, enjoy! x

Chapter 2:

Light shone onto Hermione's face as dawn broke and she escaped the potion-induced dreamless sleep and woke to another day. Everything was different today, she knew that she wouldn't be the same, but with true Gryffindor determination she steeled her courage. She could at least attempt to live with this, as awful as it was, and she had people to help her.

"Hermione? Are you awake?" the gentle voice of Madam Pomfrey caught her ears, and the healer's face popped round the curtain.

"Morning." Hermione spoke softly, trying to ignore the way her voice croaked after so much crying the day before.

The healer engaged in a brief conversation about how she felt, before performing a few diagnostic spells to check her vitals. Once satisfied, she sat on the edge of Hermione's bed, looking at the young woman who was staring at her hands.

"Is everything okay? When can I go to classes?" She asked worriedly. She desperately wanted everything to just be normal again, and although she knew that couldn't happen, trying to go back to school and act normally would make her feel better. Plus, with seven classes this year, she knew she couldn't miss too much.

"Everything is physically better, Hermione. The bruises have gone with the spells I used, and there is no other physical damage. Internally, I have fixed everything and performed a cleansing spell, I thought you'd find that comforting." The older witch paused, pursing her lips for a moment. "How do you feel emotionally, Hermione?"

"I could be better, could be worse. You know the truth, don't you? D-Did he tell you?" she said, small voice so unlike the slightly brash one the intelligent witch usually heard coming from her mouth.

"Myself and Professor McGonagall are the only ones aware. She was the one to inform me, after he went to tell her the truth. I know you must feel awful, and I want to tell you that it will be better, but it may not for a long time given the circumstances. However," she pursed her lips again, and looked down at Hermione lying still in the hospital bed. "you are a strong young woman, and I have no doubts that your future will be bright and prosperous, no matter what is happening now. You know why?"

"Why?"

"You're a Gryffindor, and I can already see your courage shining through. After all, even though you had been through a terrible ordeal, you could apparate here safely. You survived and you will survive. Don't forget that dear. I am always here if you need to talk to someone. There. That's the cheesy rant over." she chuckled softly to herself.

"Thank you, it means a lot." She looked up, a soft, small smile forming on her lips. "Do you think I could go back to school soon, and go back to my common room?"

"I think, if you feel ready to do so, then that would be fine. Professor McGonagall also wishes to meet you in her office, to discuss your situation and the matter of you being head girl. You will have a new common room to go back to, and a room to yourself across from Neville's. He's a sweet boy, I'm glad its him who's head boy, he deserves it after everything."

"I'm glad too. I will get changed then, if you don't mind, and go to speak to the headmistress." Madam Pomfrey agreed and left to tend to other matters, giving the girl space to change. Once alone, as she changed into her robes she finally started to process the happenings of the last 24 hours. She was bound to Snape, forever. And, she'd have to 'renew' those vows each week. The thought alone brought a cruel chill to her, memories of losing her virginity in such a painful way had re-appeared and she didn't really know how to deal with them, so she tried to bury them down, focussing instead on the task of dressing herself.

Shirt on, buttons down up. The tie was tied expertly, and muscle memory reminded her to pull on her jumper and skirt, then socks and finally to buckle her shoes. The simple task alone had exhausted her, and she sat on the bed wondering what to do next. She folded the hospital gown neatly and placed it on the pristine sheets, the madam Pomfrey popped in with a piece of toast, some hot sweet tea and a variety of potions.

"Hello dear, it is good to see you in your uniform. I know you probably aren't hungry, but try to eat and drink, and here are some potions for you. There's a strengthening potion, take a small vial full when needed or three times daily with food; a dreamless sleep potion for you to take before bed; a wakening potion to take to get rid of the drowsiness from the sleeping potion; and I've got this one as well." She motioned to the smallest of the bottles, a dark violet liquid. "it's a contraceptive. One drop is needed after each time. Put it on the tongue. I've already given you one after yesterday, don't worry. It works for 24 hours after, so make sure you remember it on time, although I know it's not something you'll forget to take."

"Thank you, that's very thoughtful. If they run out, can I get more from you?" she asked, worried at the thought of possibly having to ask Snape.

"Anytime my dear, now please try to finish that food, I want you to have strength enough to leave here, okay. I believe your case has been taken to your room, and breakfast has just ended, so you can miss the first double to get settled. Oh, and the password for the headmistress's office is apple gumdrops" With a brief nod of assent, madam Pomfrey left Hermione to her breakfast, satisfied.

Once outside the office, Hermione felt a ripple of anxiety in her stomach before she knocked sharply on the door, twice. Once the door opened, she walked in, seeing professor McGonagall sat behind the grand desk.

"Hermione, good to see you looking a little better today. I trust your physical injuries have been seen to?"

"Yes, I've just been discharged."

"Good good. Well, shall we get down to the matter at hand?" after a small nod from Hermione, she continued. "I spoke to Professor Snape last night, after you had been found. He informed me of all that happened." Hermione took a deep breath, steadying her rapid pulse rate.

"I have not told anyone other than madam Pomfrey, and you can be assured of her confidentiality. The staff and remaining order members have been told in a staff meeting this morning that you were tortured by the death eaters, but they won't know the truth, unless you wish them to know."

"No, I don't. They… Wouldn't understand and it would just confuse things."

"I understand. There is also the matter of your required weekly meetings with Professor Snape." She reached over and touched the girl's shoulder comfortingly. "I have said, in the meeting, that he will be teaching you occlumency in an attempt to help you deal with the thoughts after such an encounter. These can take place in the evening when you are supposed to be on patrol on a Tuesday evening, if that's okay?" Hermione nodded once, fingers trembling slightly.

"Now, here is your timetable, and the password for your head pupil's dormitory is courage united. Do you want to continue to study potions?"

"Erm, I think so, yes. It's important to my future really…" She hadn't thought about the fact that she would still be taught by him. The thought made tears well in her eyes, and she quickly blinked them back.

"Very well. If you would like to speak to me, or need anything, please come and find me, my dear. I wish you the best of luck in all of this."

"Thanks, professor. I'd best be going now." She smiled at the older witch, who smiled back, and left the room, heading to her new common room.

"Courage united." She spoke to the portrait of a lion on the second floor, and it swung open, allowing her to climb inside. Taking a look around the room, she was in awe of the sight she saw. It was beautifully cosy, with bookshelves around every wall and two sofas with a table between them in the entre. There was also a lovely fire with two armchairs beside it, the dull crackle and warm flames brightening the room. Near the two staircases at the back, there was a table with two chairs and a set of two goblets, plates and cutlery. She merely had to think of food and it would appear.

In a slight state of shock, she climbed up the girl's staircase on the left, her hand trailing on the marble bannister. She opened the door, and was amazed to see a beautiful double four poster bed, with a wardrobe, chest of drawers, desk and chair, dressing table and a bathroom with a bath, shower toilet and sink. The days of waiting for hours as Lavender fritted with her hair were over, she thought with a chuckle. The colours were all red and gold, and Hermione sat on the smooth sheets of the bed and started to unpack her case, which she had found on the chest of drawers.

Once unpacked, she cast a quick tempus charm, seeing that the time was eleven - break time. After that, she looked at her timetable, seeing on the Wednesday (September 2nd) she had transfiguration before break, then charms before lunch, then after that DADA, ancient runes and arithmancy. The timetable was busy for this year, but she decided it was a good thing, as she didn't really want to much time to think at the moment. She quickly used the toilet, glad to see the bruises had faded, before washing her hands and going downstairs, delighted to see Neville and Ginny sat on the sofa in the common room.

"Hermione!" Ginny called out and the girl ran up to hug her, making Hermione freeze at the physical contact before hugging her back.

"Hi Ginny, hi Neville. It's good to see you both."

"We've been so worried! Where were you yesterday, are you okay?"

"I-Erm, yeah, shall we sit down and I'll explain."

They all took a seat on the comfy red leather sofas and Hermione told them the truth that had been told to the staff and order members. After explaining, they both looked horrified, but glad she was okay, and they discussed more trivial matters, like Seamus's tattoo that he had gotten over the summer and Lavender's recent haircut. Then, after what felt like no time at all, it was time for Hermione to go to charms.

Professor Flitwick was delighted to see his favourite pupil, and after asking her if she was better, he started teaching the class abiut the syllabus for this year. Because it was NEWTs this year, the class would be challenging, but Hermione was relieved to recognise a lot of things they would study. The hour passed quickly, and soon it was time for lunch.

Walking into the great hall, she sat down quietly next to Ginny, with Neville opposite her. They noticed her quietness, and shared a look of concern, but decided not to comment as they tucked into the delicious food Hogwarts always had on offer. Hermione had a full plate, but couldn't concentrate on the food as she was all too aware of Snape's probable presence at the staff table. She looked towards it, and smiled at Tonks and Lupin, who returned it kindly, before glancing to the opposite end to where Snape sat.

Their eyes met, and she quickly looked away, realising he had been watching her. Her skin crawled and she struggled to remain calm, barely on top of her breathing as she put her head into her hands, trying pointlessly to calm herself down.

She could still sense his cold, empty eyes staring down at her as she had lay on the metal table, still feel his skin against hers, still feel him inside her.

"Hermione? Are you okay?" Neville asked as the girl started to shake, hands on her head. The voice barely heard, she walked quickly from the room, desperate to escape as Ginny followed quickly behind her.

Once she was out of the hall, she broke into a run, climbing up the stairs to astronomy, desperate to escape. Ginny followed her to the top, trying to keep up with her friend before Hermione collapsed at the top of the stairs, chest heaving and sobs escaping her lips.

"Oh Hermione. I'm so sorry." Hermione could hear Ginny's voice saying comforting things as she calmed herself down slowly, and got control of her breathing, she held Ginny's outstretched hand, wiping the tears from her sore eyes.

"I'm sorry, I just felt like it was all happening again. I-I can't handle this, it's too much."

"It's not your fault, and this is normal. They tortured you, and it's horrible so you cry as much as you need to 'Mione, I'm here. Do you want a hug?" Hermione nodded and Ginny carefully wrapped her arms around her, holding Hermione close. After a few minutes, she was calmer, and Ginny offered her a tissue. The girl cleaned herself up and made herself look more presentable, smoothing her hair and ignoring her red eyes, before Ginny helped her up and the two made their way to DADA, their next class.

They had gotten there just as Remus arrived, and they were a little early, class not starting for another ten minutes. He invited them in, worried to see Hermione's puffy eyes after she had departed the hall so abruptly not long ago.

"Is everything okay girls?" he asked gently, setting up for the next lesson.

"Yes, thanks sir, Hermione was just a bit upset, but she's a bit better now." Ginny spoke for them, as Hermione smiled slightly, trying her best to look okay.

"if there's anything Tonks and I can do, Hermione, you need only ask." He said, and she mumbled her thanks quietly.

Remus was planning to start off the lesson with unforgiveable curses, but he figured that after Hermione's cruciatus that might not be the most tactful thing to do. He had a boggart for the practical part of the lesson, but that might not be wise either after so many of his seventh year were still dealing with the aftermath of the war. Instead, he settled on teaching patronuses, which he figured would cause the least upset.

The other ten or so pupils entered, a couple asking Hermione if she was okay, to which she nodded quietly, and they all took their seats at their desks.

"Hello class, my name – as most of you already know – is professor Lupin, and I will be one of your defence against the dark arts teachers for this year. Now, your other teacher will be my wife, Professor Tonks. We decided that having two professor Lupins teaching the same subject may prove a little confusing, so she is keeping her maiden name." a few pupils laughed, before quieting down.

"Now, I am aware that there is a lot we need to cover this year after your slightly shaky history of DADA teachers, but we will get through it all as quickly as possible. Also, I know that some of these subjects may be upsetting for some of you, and if you do not want to do the practical aspect you absolutely don't have to. Today, we will be starting with casting our patronus charms, can anyone tell me what a patronus is used for?" He looked around, a few pupils had their hands raised, but not Hermione, who was staring down at her hands glumly. He chose Ginny to answer, and then carried on with the theory part of the lesson before splitting the class into pairs, with Neville, Hermione and Ginny as a three.

"Now, to conjure a patronus, you must say the incantation: 'Expecto Patronum' and think of a very happy memory, and hopefully, it will work. Have a go amongst your groups, I will make my way round and help you." He set them off, assisting where needed and finally getting to the point where almost all the group had conjured their patronus. Hermione didn't seem to be able to, and he was worried about the young witch, who was normally so talented. As the class came to an end and everyone packed up, he asked her to remain behind so he could speak to her. Obliging, she said bye to Ginny and Neville before approaching Remus, who was sat at his desk.

"Would you like a cup of tea, Hermione?" he asked, and she nodded once. He made the tea, and she sat in the chair opposite his desk, meeting his eyes nervously. His smile calmed her racing thoughts, and she took a deep breath, feeling a little better.

"How are you coping?" he asked gently, and gave her an encouraging smile.

"I'm okay, I just can't shut up my head. I didn't ever used to have a problem producing a patronus, and I can't now I just can't focus on happy things."

"Ah, okay. I'm not worried about your academic performance, but it will get better in time, and you are safe here." Those words should have helped, but when the person Hermione feared was in the castle and she would not only have to be taught by him for four lessons a week but also sleep with him, they had little effect. Seeing this, he smelt the fear from her, and he felt a little suspicion growing inside him.

Torture would make someone scared, he was all too aware of that, especially after a war was meant to be over. But, he was still suspicious, and he wondered, why would they do that to Hermione? There had been many others more involved in the war, but she had been the only one hurt. And Snape, why had he been so fast to suspect Malfoy? He couldn't help but feel something a little deeper was happening here…

"I should probably go now, breaks almost over." Hermione spoke softly, breaking the awkward silence and luring Remus out of his thoughts. "thank you for the tea and chat, I feel a lot better now."

"Anytime Hermione. And, do you want to come to mine and Tonks' for dinner tonight? Might take your mind off of things and Sirius is coming."

"Yes thanks, that sounds lovely. Bye now, professor."

"Remus, whilst were not in lessons please, and have a nice evening, I'll see you later."

That afternoon, after arithmancy and ancient runes with a little free time Hermione had spent reading, Hermione's mood had boosted a great deal compared to how it was before. She was on her way to Remus' room, and looking forwards to the dinner as it meant there was no chance of her running into Snape at the meal. In her calmer state of mind, she knew they would have to talk eventually, and she felt it was important to try to make things as okay as possible but she couldn't bring herself to yet. She also knew she had double potions tomorrow, and was in the process of trying to psych herself up to speak to him then.

She arrived at the door, and knocked once before tonks opened it with a smile on her face. "Wotcher Hermione, good to see you looking a lot better." She said, and led her into the living room. Remus was sat by the fire with teddy on his knee, and Hermione plonked herself on the sofa next to tonks, asking them both about their days and cooing at teddy's adorableness.

There was a loud crack, they all got up quickly, and suddenly Sirius flooed into the room, greeting them all happily. He hugged Tonks, gave Remus a friendly shoulder pat, ruffled little Teddys hair and approached Hermione, arms wide for their usual greeting of a hug. Something inside her clicked and she found herself backing away, hands out in front of her to protect her. She couldn't see what was happening around her, she was back in that horrible room, on that horrible table, with the man she feared most at that moment. Sirius' kind face morphed into Snape's and his eyes hardened in her mind, becoming distant and cold. Every week she would have to repeat it, and every time she closed her eyes she was back there and it was happening but there was nothing she could do. She felt his hands on her body, felt his breath tickle her neck, felt the pain of him pushing inside her.

"Please stay away, don't touch me please! Oh merlin no." she sank to the floor, hands covering her face. as Sirius slowly backed away, Remus took teddy and led the men into the kitchen as Tonks stayed with her, not touching the girl but trying to console her with murmurs of its okay, you're safe, it's all safe now. But it wasn't safe for Hermione. After ten minutes, she was still inconsolable, and Tonks went to the kitchen to see if Remus stood a better chance of understanding what was going on in the young woman's mind. He had suffered mental illnesses before, and was probably the most equipped to deal with whatever was happening.

"Tonks, I'm sorry. I didn't realise she'd react like that." Sirius started once Remus had left the room, and she shook her head, dismissing his apology.

"Not your fault Sirius, you wouldn't have known. Look, I know you were told she was tortured, but it feels like there's more. I don't know, it's probably nothing but Remus has a hunch there's a bigger picture here. We just have to give it time I think, and see how things go." He nodded, and the two embraced to comfort each other, them Tonks went and put a sleepy Teddy to bed. After a while of silent hoping, the sad sounds subsided and they assumed she had calmed down.

"Shall I get some pizzas? I don't think anyone feels like cooking." Tonks suggested, and Sirius nodded as she went to speak to a house elf about them bringing some pizzas up for them. She returned a moment later with two large pizza boxes and the two went back into the living room to see Hermione on the sofa staring at her feet and Remus sat next to her.

Remus looked up, pained expression relieving momentarily as he saw the food and his wife and best friend. They sat opposite them on the sofa, and opened the pizzas boxes, putting them onto the table.

"I'm sorry Sirius, I don't know what came over me. I know you'd never hurt me or any of us I just…" Hermione's voice cracked a little, trailing off.

"Hermione love its fine, it's me who should be apologising. We just hope you're okay."

"Thanks."

"Shall we have some pizza? I don't think being hungry will help us." Tonks said, trying to lighten the mood and they all grabbed a slice, tucking in. They made pleasant conversation, and Hermione cheered up over the course of the evening, joining in eventually.

She was distracted, and her mind had calmed so she felt much better, feeling bad for her earlier outburst even though it wasn't her fault. She made up for it by laughing along with Sirius' corny jokes and adding her own snippets of Hogwarts drama from the great hall.

Soon, it was time for her to leave, lest she be caught outside of curfew, and she said her warm and loving farewells to her second family, no hugs this time, before stepping out and heading back to the sanctity of her common room and to bed.

Sirius also left, and Remus and tonks checked on teddy, tidying away the pizza boxes and changing for bed.

However, while sleep came easily for Sirius with the aid of fire whisky and Hermione had potions to help her, it didn't come so quickly for Tonks and Remus.

"Sweetheart? Are you asleep?" Tonks spoke out first, turning so they faced each other in the four-poster bed.

"I can't sleep either Dora." She could make out his face in the dark room.

"I just don't know what happened, what we can do. What was she like when you went in?"

"She was having a flashback, I believe. I've had them before, from when I was bitten." He cleared his throat, it was a difficult subject for him. "you feel like you're back there when the trauma happened. They feel very real and it's difficult to get out of them. She must have been triggered when Sirius reached out to hug her."

"But they said she had the cruciatus curse. Why would she be triggered by physical contact?"

"I don't know Dora. I don't know if we'll know what really happened for a long time. We just have to be there for her and help her all we can." He pulled her close, and the two fell into a fitful sleep in each others arms.