"So Nick a lot has changed since I last saw you," Jess laughed gesturing towards his tie. She still couldn't get over the fact that Nick Miller was wearing a tie without being forced to.

"I guess you could say I have changed a little," Nick replied almost shyly, never liking to be the centre of attention. "What about you? What's happened to you these past few years?"

"Well I moved back to L.A. last month because I was offered a job here as a headmistress of a school in Pasadena. Before then I was back in Portland looking after my mom, she was diagnosed with breast cancer last year." Jess explained.

"I'm sorry to here that."

"It's fine you know she's been given the all clear now so hopefully she's gonna be fine now."

"That's great then," Nick smiled.

"Yeah it's a huge relief for everyone, anyway what have you done these past few years?"

"Well a new manger came in at the bar who I didn't really get on with so I decided to quit and set up one of my own. So far it's going great and I'm thinking about purchasing another. However I'm still living with Winston and Schmidt, couldn't really shake them off." Nick laughed.

"How are the guys?" Jess asked.

"Well Schmidt got back together with Elizabeth about six months ago, she's moved into the loft and they both are in the big room now. That means they had to swap rooms with Winston which he was not happy about believe me. I've had to listen to him bitching about it for the past month. He's still permanently single if you don't count his cat."

"And you?" She questioned tentatively. "Are you seeing anyone?"

"Not really," Nick admitted. "I've been a bit busy with the bar and everything so I guess I haven't really had the chance. What about you?"

"I'm single too," Jess smiled flirtatiously. "I've missed you Nick."

"I've missed you too Jess." Nick smiled back. God how he had missed her, even though he got himself out of the hole he fell into when she first left, he missed her every god damn day. Everyday he woke up alone without her sleeping next to him was like waking up with a thousand knives plunged into his chest. That was how much life hurt without her. Finally it was all going to be okay again. Despite how he felt there was still the niggle at the back of his mind, why did she dump him in the first place? Why did she wrench his heart out of his chest and stamp on it? He had spent many nights shouting that to Schmidt and Winston yet he still never found the answer. That was perhaps what made him the most depressed out of everything, the fact that he didn't know what he had done wrong.

::::

To hear that Nick had missed her despite what she had done to him made Jess realise just a how nice guy he was. He showed no anger or hate towards her like she might have been if she was in his position. She knew though that there was an elephant in the room, she knew he must want to know why she did what she did. She knew him more than she knew herself so she knew that he had probably spent week after week combing over everything that had happened before she had dumped him. She knew that she had hurt him and it killed her that she had caused him a lot of pain. He deserved to know though, she just had to figure out how to tell him this time rather than take the cowards way out.

::::::

...and now everything's just messed up," Jess finished, her voice trembling.

"Does Nick know?" Cece asked.

"No, I have to tell him though. But if I do we're gonna have to break up anyway so maybe I should just break up with him and not tell him."

"But Jess, Nick loves you he would be there for you, he might be upset but he would understand. Surely that's better than not telling him."

"I want to protect him though, if this has to end I'd rather do it in a way that would hurt him the least. He's all I care about Cece."

Jess tried to bite her lips to stop herself from crying yet this time it did not work and before she knew it she had turned into a weeping wreck.

"No Jess don't start crying," Cece said softly putting her arm around her best friend and handing her a tissue. "Maybe you can.."

"No," Jess cut her off. "I have to end it, it's the only way.

::::::

As Jess thought back to that conversation with Cece and overwhelming sense of guilt washed over her and she realised that all along Cece was right. It would have been better in the end to tell him, because then maybe it all could have worked out. She just hoped it wasn't a case of too little too late with Nick now.

"I still love you Nick," she whispered, so quietly Nick almost thought he had imagined it.

He felt his breath catch in his throat and his heart thump in his chest. He had waited two years for her to say that to him.

"I love you too Jess," he said hoarsely. "So much."

He saw Jess bite her lip and look at the floor like she always did when she was about to start crying and took her hand in his, interlocking his fingers with hers. Before that would always work however this time it didn't and he saw her eyes start to moisten and her nose wrinkle like it did when she was on the very brink of tears. So with his other hand he reached out and gently stroked her cheek and tilted her head to look up at him.

"Hey hey, don't cry. We always know that if you start crying then I start crying and that is never a good thing to see a grown man cry," Nick joked desperately trying to make her feel better. That instinct he had always had to do anything to make her happy was coming through.

However that still didn't work so Nick went to his last resort, bravely he took a deep breath stroked her cheek once more and leaned in towards her to kiss her better.