It has been weeks since I found out about Dylan. I started to wonder about her real name. It is a sort of past time for me. Perhaps it is Delilah, no that seems too feminine, Delina, or maybe not even close to Dylan at all. Maybe it is Rose or Tara, they seem masculine enough. It might be Caroline, or maybe something extremely girly like Mackenzie. The little game in my head lasted until the sad thought of her name being Sophie came to mind.
Dylan still has not told me. She does notice that I get strange when we are alone together though. If I keep doing so she will guess that I know. I would have to tell her I walked in on her changing, won't that be a lovely conversation.
We do not talk much while on egg watch anymore. Talk is usually just to ask about temperature, we are working after all. I cannot understand how I seem to bear the heat of the room. I never quite felt it as so hot before. It was until I thought back I found that in previous weeks I had taken my shirt off. Oh Dear. It is so hot that Dylan, especially under all those clothes of hers, must be ready to pass out at any minute. It also must be hard for her because of all the bindings she has to wear to protect her chest. She gets up and sticks her head out the door every now and then. She has to for fear of passing out. It is a long and awkward watch most of the time. We speak on regular occasions thought the rest of the day, but its just when we sit alone in this sweltering room I have trouble starting conversation.
"Whatever I did Alek I can truly say you've made your point," she said to me making my head snap up to meet her eyes. I blink stupidly at her.
"If this is honestly about stealing your potato last week you're making a big deal out of it and I'm sorry already." The girl sighed and looked at me. She did indeed steal my potato last week but I had forgotten about it. Did I make it look like I was mad at her? When I did not answer she took it as a 'yes.'
"You and your food! I never thought you were the type to obsess over your plate," she rolled her eyes, "I never knew you were so greedy."
This made me a bit mad. I am most certainly not greedy!
"I am no such thing!" I barked at her without intending to be so harsh.
"Oh really then? So you're just so used to getting your way that when big bad Dylan stales something it's a big deal? Grow up!" She barks full on back.
"I don't always get my way!" I say angrily back, "And I am more 'grown up' than you could ever be!"
"What is that supposed to mean? I have done and seen things that you would never dream of doing in your nice room in your fancy castle." She yelled. Her face was getting red either from anger or the heat.
"You never have taken a risk in your life!" I yelled back, "You have any idea how easy it is to be you? I have a war against me!"
This shut her up momentarily. Then she looked me straight in the eye.
"I have taken risks just be here Alek. You have it easier than me just by being…" she cut herself off and changed the subject. "All this over a barking potato."
With that she left the room.
No, it was not about a 'barking potato'. When I thought about it hours later I realized that I never was mad at her, and it was me who was giving her the cold shoulder. I felt bad for barking at her. The sentence she would have finished, I realize that she was going to say 'just by being a boy'. I suppose she is right. Me being born male has not helped things, but if I were I girl I certainly would have it worse. At least I have rights to do what I wish. If I wanted to be an airman I could if I wanted to. She has to give up what she is to achieve her dreams. Still, it was low for her to say those things about me.
Just then Dr. Barlow thought it a good idea to show herself from behind the doorframe. I jumped, not knowing she was there.
"Well you seemed to have made her angry," the woman said.
I looked at her astonished.
"Yes I know about Dylan being a girl, and I know you are also fully aware of it."
The woman smiles at my amazed face. She comes to sit by me.
"How do you…?" I began, though I knew somewhere that it would be easy for her to figure it out.
"A few days after I first met Miss Sharp I caught her 'shaving' and she supposedly was interrupted by it. Later that day I saw that she had a clean chin without the help of the razor. Of course, my first suspicion was not that she was a girl, rather she was young to be in the air service, but there were more clues along the way." Said Dr Barlow.
I wanted to ask what clues could possibly turn the hard soldier Dylan into…well whatever she may be now, but I decided against it. There were other questions I needed to ask.
"How do you know I know?" I asked.
"It is quite simple, the way you look when some one suggests you two have do a job alone, the way your eyes widen when she talks to you off guard… may I go on?" she says. I shake my head.
"But I have forgotten to ask an important question, what do you think of the matter?" Dr Barlow asks.
"I think that the idea was crazy," I say, "But it is Dylan's choice and she will tell me about her secret when she wants to. I will not tell anyone, she is keeping my secret after all."
Dr Barlow looks at me in a strange way.
"We both know that is not what I meant." She said.
"What? Then what do you mean?" I ask.
Dr Barlow catches me in the eye and stares at me.
"Dylan is a pretty girl Alek, you cannot deny that."
It takes a while for the thought to sink in. Is Dr Barlow implying that I have romantic feeling for Dylan? Dylan? The same Dylan who stole my potato last week? The same Dylan who dresses up in men's clothing? No. There is no way that I could possibly harbor and sort of THOSE feelings for her. I shake my head at the thought.
"I see," says Dr Barlow, she does not seem to believe me as much as I try to make her.
After egg duty I meet Dylan at the spine. We seem to come here a lot. I do not care particularly about us being alone at the moment. What Dr Barlow implied was crazy. It is just common knowledge that a man and woman should not be alone together. I am not going to do anything after all! I see she looks a bit embarrassed to see me. I remember our idiotic fight.
"Sorry about all that," she said sadly, "I just was a bit frustrated."
"Yeah," I answer.
"But really, was it about me stealing a potato?" she asks wearily.
"Of course not!" I almost shout, I lower my voice, "I have just been a bit tired lately."
"Oh," she says, not really believing that was all but taking it upon herself to feel like an idiot anyway.
We stay quiet for a while. Both of us are watching the sky and trying not to look at each other. I let my eyes wander to her and think about what Dr Barlow had said. I suppose Dylan is as pretty as anyone can be in men's clothing. She is moderately slender and a decent height. Though she has no extraordinary eyes nor does she have particularly full lips, I suppose I have seen uglier. Her bulky jacket takes away most beauty. Her hair is also cut like a boy's. I imagine it longer, in wavy curls around her face. That leads me to imagining her in skirts and dresses, which she would look good in I suppose. Yes, the lady pilot is very attractive, so I shake the image out of my mind before I go mad.