V lay flat on his back, tracing the blade of a kunai with one hand and tapping the floor uselessly with the other. He'd remained like so for the past day after listening into the meeting of the Akatsuki members. Soon after the meeting had entered he had heard the group call for Tobi, who then let out a very loud 'Yippee!' which V took as meaning Tobi was official now. Frustrated with his lack of answers to the questions that formed about Akatsuki more quickly than they were answered and annoyed further by the zero progress he'd achieved in his training, V felt no reason to leave his room. He'd regained his strength for the most part and only waited for whatever test the Akatsuki leader had mentioned in the mystery room at the back of the Akatsuki hideout.
However V hadn't wasted his time. While there, he'd sent out a chakra cat to retrieve a book he'd lost during his short fight with Kisame. It'd taken a more time to recover from that, but the reward was all the info he'd gathered on Akatsuki previous to his arrival. Study had been his main pastime. Though he had also entertained ideas about the room the members had met in. At first he'd thought it was whatever room which lay behind the sealed boulder he hadn't been able to break through, but dropped the idea when he remembered that they had ran quite a ways, and at a high speed, before reaching this new place.
"Hey, hey! That's too much Itachi! Way too much! Cookies don't need to cook that long. They're supposed to be soft on the inside." A loud voice complained. V paused to try and listen. Feeling oddly curious he let the kunai fall to the ground and left his room to head towards the voices.
The spectrum which greeted V was worth breaking his 24 hour solitude. It was an interesting sight to say the least, and reinforced what he knew to be true; that if Akatsuki has an extremely violent side, they also have another, opposite extreme. Kazuku- whose death had been elaborately faked previous in order to get him out of range from the Konoha ninjas-, Hiden- Kazuku's former partner and another one who had to be rescued-, Itachi the sharingan user, Kisame the shark man, and hyper-active Tobi; all huddled in an extremely messy kitchen/ living room. Tobi was bouncing beside Itachi who, by the smell, was baking cookies. The others were lounging against walls; talking about who knows what; taking advantage from being freed from any missions.
"Aw Kazuku you really do like me!" Hiden yelled in his odd accent.
Kisame, who'd been observing Itachi and Tobi at first, whipped his head around to face Kazuku and Hiden. "What? Hiden found a friend? That's so cute. Hiden and Kazuku. That's just like us isn't it Itachi?"
"…Never." Itachi growled, giving a very Itachi-esk glare towards Kisame.
"Shut up Kisame!" Kazuku grunted
"Don't get too soft on me Kazuku. You're not supposed to be a cookie." Hiden snickered, his voice loud and high pitched as always. It gave V a headache. He couldn't imagine why the Akatsuki had rescued Hiden, or even the creepy stitched-up Kazuku, from a fight instead of letting them die (at least in Kazuku's case) and just grabbing the rings. (Tobi had told him the story the other day. Hiden was dug up out of the ground and Kazuku switched with a fake using a forbidden replacement technique.) Tobi nodded enthusiastically at Hiden's hint that he agreed cookies should be soft on the inside.
Kazuku snarled at his partner. "I'm going to kill you Hiden."
"Like you could." Hiden snorted "You like me too much. You just won't admit it." He reached over to put an arm around Kazuku's shoulders.
Kazuku shoved him away, " Moron."
"Itachi the cookies!" Yelled Tobi again.
"Kisame." Itachi said pointedly.
"Huh?" Kisame cocked his head then his eyes widened. "Oh, right. Don't bother Itachi in the kitchen, Tobi."
"He's burning them." Tobi whined "He always burns them."
Itachi froze. Tobi and Kisame both stiffened. Itachi jerked slowly around and stared at Tobi, murder written all over his face. Tobi hurriedly scooted back. Kazuku, seeing what was happening and grimacing- though V suspected his grimace wasn't because of Itachi as much as it was because he was receiving a headache as well from Hiden's obnoxious voice- left the room down another hall. Hiden, who could care less about anything, smiled in anticipation at Itachi.
"Sorry?" Said Tobi hesitantly
Kisame shook his head. "You'd better do better than that"
Tobi fell to his knees "I'll bake you cookies later?"
Hiden laughed- V flinched. "Tobi's will be better."
Kisame sighed as Itachi's eyes turned red. The Uchiha turned his sharigan onto Hiden. Almost immediately Hiden-who'd stupidly looked at Itachi- collapsed to the floor. Seeing this Tobi begged "I'll be your slave if you let me live."
"Bad idea..." Kisame muttered. V wondered why.
Itachi's mouth twitched, but instead of angry he looked satisfied. "Fine. Turn up the heat on the oven."
Horror spread over Tobi's face but it was too late, he was already Itachi's slave. As if it were physically painful for him Tobi upped the heat then slouched back to Itachi, who seemed appeased.
They remained like that for nearly ten minutes with Tobi looking more dejected every second. Kisame had taken to poking Hiden's motionless body with Samehada during the wait. V, now thoroughly interested in the outcome, waited in his hiding place in the hall. Finally the timer beeped and Itachi pulled out a pan of solid black cookies. Smiling in a way that was not good, he tipped them onto a plate and handed them to Tobi. "Eat."
Tobi looked up at Itachi and V wished he could see Tobi's face. "You're my slave right?" Itachi reminded Tobi.
"Itachi…." Tobi whined
"Eat." This time Itachi's voice was dangerous. Tobi gulped loudly then took a bite. There was silence, and then he passed out.
At the exact same time Hiden woke up a screamed like a banshee "Arriee! That was WONDERFUL!"
Itachi and Kisame spoke at the same time. "What the hell?"
V, deciding Hiden was obviously insane, laughed then escaped back to his room like a scared rabbit. He was strong, but even the strong try to avoided the insane. Insanity like Hiden's looked contagious. Besides, it's not like he wanted to be seen by them, not after Pain's order. No burnt cookie was worth fighting them all at once.