One Piece: March on Oda Chapter 2, an one piece fanfic

I do not own One Piece

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Beta read by the wonderful rose7anne101 and MasterQwertster (who is also an awesome translator), be sure to check out their own stories! Also thanks to Thisisarealtagwhy for their help in writing this.

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March on Oda

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Chapter 2: Oda's Response

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Warning, contains spoilers for One Piece chapter 900

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Out of respect of privacy, all pennames are gender neutral. The only exception is voluntary.

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Well that's just unfair, thought Eiichiro Oda, the creator of One Piece, as he stared at the mob clearly heading towards his office building, and only minutes away. The last chapter was a colour-spread even!

"I think they're coming for you," one of his assistants dumbly observed.

"What tipped you off!?" another vented to try and deal with their fear.

As far as they eye could see down the long, loooong street, the pavement was hidden beneath a sea of men and women, who even from two blocks away were clearly wearing One Piece costumes. They were also carrying signs with them, and a massive banner that even from this far away said in Japanese: "二週間に待たせない!" Which translated as:

"DON'T MAKE US WAIT TWO WEEKS!"

The other banners presumably said the same thing in other languages.

I need that week off to handle the stress of this job, Oda wailed to himself. Yes other writers don't need it, but I do if I'm to write Luffy and the others good enough!

This got him thinking.

"We can't phone for help, the police aren't doing anything," assistant #3 said, pointing at how the police were indeed retreating. "And the building is on lockdown. We can't get out or try and communicate with anyone!"

"Whoever planned this out was some sort of mastermind in the caliber of Crocodile!" whimpered assistant #4.

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Safe in their hotel away from the ongoing events (while the police might not be able to arrest thousands upon thousands of fans, they might be more willing to go for the leaders and organizers of this), 'Black' Victor Cachat scratched his head in thought. I feel like I should be doing some maniacal laughter, except I don't know why.

Besides, the mysterious 'general' of this international 'fan gathering' glanced over at their friend Rose7anne101, whom they had only met in person over the last few days, I'd probably get smacked on the head. Again. Oh well. I wonder if this how Luffy feels every time he angers Nami? *shudder*

"It feels kinda hypocritical that as fans of Luffy and the others, we aren't down there with our people," Rose7anne101 observed. "Leading from the front and all."

"I agree," 'Black' Victor Cachat answered sincerely. "However our objective here is to make an example and push for changes, which especially have to be done in the aftermath—none of which we can do if we are arrested." He shrugged. "A mob can't be arrested, while we can. So long as we follow through on our job, the job they're expecting us to do, then we've done our duty to those people in turn."

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Back at Oda's office

"We, we should do what they want," one man whimpered.

"Fool!" snapped Oda in irritation. "And then next week they'll be throwing riots demanding I bring Ace back to life! No! No, we have toooooo…"

The creator of One Piece trailed off in thought as a memory struck him. Well, I was told to do it only in my most desperate hour…

Hastily Oda whirled around, knocking aside his assistants as he raced to gather together all of the materials. Fortunately, he had seen this demonstrated once before, so he was confident he could pull it off, even as he gave thanks that most of the necessary ingredients could be scrounged up within his office.

In the olden days, he would have been forced to demand a donation of blood from all his assistants. Fortunately, their bowls of Instant Ramen noodles and broth were an adequate substitute. Who knew?

(Although it did give Oda queasy thoughts about eating the stuff himself, and he honestly wondered how much Masashi Kishimoto, the creator of the ramen addicted Naruto, knew about this ritual).

Fortunately one of the staff insisted on using an archaic paper dictionary, which would provide modern comprehension and language. Using the internet for that was just asking for trouble.

Everyone else was staring at their boss in confusion and more than a little horror as he frantically shoved tables aside and tossed chairs in the air to make room.

Then Oda continued to gather [Classified] and [Classified], plopping them all in a pile on a flat surface, and then put the final element on top.

A marker was used to trace a [Classified] on the floor around the items, tracing symbols around them that Oda frankly did not understand. Now it was time for the last step.

Slowly yet clearly, he began to chant in a language whose origins, just as nearly everything else related to what he was presently doing, had been lost during the Second World War. All that remained being passed by word of mouth, such as the incantation he had memorized. Which frankly Oda believed was a fortune beyond measure. He shuddered to think what someone could accomplish with a comprehensive understanding of all of this. There were some things man was simply not ready for.

Although, whispered a voice inside his head, you're still risking letting the genie out of the bottle with this!

He argued back with the most convincing argument he could think of. It's for One Piece!

As the last word(?) left his mouth, it began. The wind picked up, lights flickered, and from atop a pile the most critical piece began to stir. A piece of paper shining with a light blue light, while red lightning crackled from it.

The picture that hung above his own work desk: Oda's personal drawing of the Straw Hat Pirates.

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MasterQwertster frowned in confusion as the lights flickered on and off.

After a minute however, it settled down, as did those creepy moaning sounds.

Shrugging, they turned back to watching through the locked, reinforced glass doors with the rest of the panicking junior employees working for Oda. According to 'Black' Victor Cachat's timetable, the head of the mob would reach it soon. There would be no overdramatic crowd hammering a battering ram at the doors, simply an individual with experience with electronic locks who would calmly open the door and let MasterQwertster and everyone else out, before the whole assembled fanbase marched inwards in an orderly manner.

(Originally 'Black' Victor Cachat had lobbied that they have fifty French nationals use a battering ram, except that the rest of the 'generals' had promptly vetoed this. Apparently their leader was still suffering some residual trauma from being forced to watch Disney movies far, far too many times, particularly the original Beauty and the Beast, with its 'Kill the Beast' song. Sometimes MasterQwertster worried about their online friend).

Despite MasterQwertster's attempts to reassure themselves, they still felt a chill go up their spine.

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Until the day he died, Oda knew he would never forget this sight.

As figures from pencil on paper stretched and grew until they left the world of two dimensional to reach the three dimensional one. As colour flowed over black and white.

Muscles flexed, clothes and hair rustled, and finally life and understanding flickered into their eyes.

Monkey D. Luffy

Roronoa Zoro.

Nami.

Usopp.

'Don't-you-dare-insinuate-I-have-a-family-name' Sanji.

Tony-Tony Chopper.

Nico Robin.

Franky.

Brook.

Jinbe.

They sucked in deep breaths and knew.

And then ten figures focused upon Oda.

It was at this point the man in question was starting to wonder if he had been a little too hasty.

Even if any manga artist knew about the ritual, it would not guarantee success. It would only work on the protagonists, and even then only if enough people knew about them. Read about their adventures. Believed in them. Only then the characters would come to life…with all their greatness and flaws.

They would also be fully aware that a) they were fictional characters, and b) they were facing the author responsible for every good and bad thing to happen to them. Or outright traumatic thing.

(There was a reason why Kentaro Miura, the author of Berserk, would never be taught how to do this).

Anyways, to reiterate, Oda, the essential god of One Piece, had just called forth a collection of individuals who not only possessed all of the power they wielded in fiction, but were also hilariously (unless you were the ones dealing with them) dismissive and outright offensive to any and all forms of authority that were not named 'Monkey D. Luffy.'

Oda gulped.

Maybe I should've made a rope out of window cords for the blinds, and scaled down the side of the building to make a run for it?

Luffy yawned.

Then stretched one arm, while his other hand rested on his hat.
Then picked his nostril with his pinky.

"So you're the guy who made us, huh?"

"Y-yes."

"And now you brought us away from our adventures here?"

"Only briefly!" Oda hastily said, all of his staff desperately nodding in affirmation.

Cocking his head, Zoro walked over to a window and looked down and sneered. "You're afraid of all those people coming to complain, huh?"

It was one thing to draw and describe a man who seemed to radiate violence and blood lust, and quite another to be in the same room with someone like that.

Before Oda could muster an answer, Nami stepped forward. "Well then, how're you going to make it worth our while?"

It was disturbing for Oda to hear his wife's voice coming out of the mouth of this beautiful woman. Almost as beautiful as his beloved Inaba. Almost.

"Wait a second!" screeched Usopp in dismay. "You can't be considering helping this guy! Not after everything he's done to us!" Pointing an accusing finger at Oda, he declared, "You give me a heart attack a hundred times an arc! At least!"

Sweat broke out in buckets down Oda's back, for he had done far, far worse to them. What was that counter-ritual to send them back again?

"Settle down," Sanji calmly cut in, lighting a cigarette. "He's also responsible for everything good that's happened to us." He clasped a hand on his friend's shoulder. "So man up, and let it go."

*Phew* Oda sighed as he let out a deep breath—just as something hard dug into the crown of his head, and discovered that faster than he could blink he was staring into the burning eyes of Blackfoot.

"But why'd you have to rub it in our faces!?" Sanji snarled, digging the heel of his shoe deeper into Oda's head. "Like making me love Pudding and then seeing how she wanted to kill me like that, even after I attacked Luffy!"

Frozen in fear, Oda stood spine straight as a board while sweat beaded his brow. Above all people he knew how strong those legs he had created were, and what they could do to a person if the chef was sufficiently enraged.

Was it not Oda who had decided that Luffy and company would not kill their enemies? That they were content with destroying their dreams? Speaking as one under their cold, angry, outright dangerous, or detached eyes stares right now, Oda was not sure he was willing to consider that a mercy.

"He gave us our nakama."

Sanji hesitated, and looked back at Luffy, who was displaying his rare bouts of profound wisdom. "The good. The bad. And our nakama. A world where we have our adventures. A world, which at the end of the day is real to us." Then his gaze sharpened. "And we can't go back until he sends us back."

How did he know!? Oda internally wailed. Can he read minds!? Did I give him that!? I can't remember!

Then it clicked.

But I did make him be able to instinctively be able to always make the correct decision!

"And," with Luffy's face becoming increasingly shrewd, sending shivers down Oda's spine, "you're the only one we can trust with creating that world. So we have to be sure you're able to continue doing so."

"We can't count on anyone else making one so diverse, or unbound by the logic of this planet," admitted Robin.

"So we shouldn't cut him is what you're saying?" Zoro asked matter-of-factly.

One of the assistants whimpered.

"Nope."

"'Kay."

"Of course," Nami sharply noted, her cold eyes like icy knives into Oda's soul. "If you want our help again in the future, you'd better be sure to pay up for this time!"

"Yes ma'am!"

"For instance, I except in our next adventure to find a huge, and I mean huge, treasure. Filled with gold, more gold, and even more gold."

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The mob had stopped a block away now, awaiting the final signal from their cell phones.

Back in the hotel room, 'Black' Victor Cachat and the others were checking the surveillance cameras placed outside of the building the night before, checking for anything unexpected.

"Seems like everything's going according to plan," observed Rose7anne101.

"Yeah," 'Black' Victor Cachat agreed. "I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"Don't be so pessimistic."

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"So, what do you want?" Oda asked.

"Ugh, we can't ask for too much," Usopp groaned. "Otherwise it'll mess things up."

Undaunted, Nami began her 'negotiations.'

"First of all," and then Nami hefted up her breasts. "Enough already! No bigger! I like being so beautiful, but every time you increase my size, I have to go and buy new outfits. My money for your fantasies! Why do you think Robin and I don't wear bras anymore? Because we can't find any large enough! And do you have any idea what kind of back pains these cause!? Seriously!?"

"But, it's not your money," put in one hapless assistant, hypnotized by the bouncing boobs. "Oda's giving it to you to buy those clothes—"

Shaking her hand as she stood upon the unconscious and bleeding figure, Nami continued. "That doesn't mean you're doing a bad job with the outfits," she cooed in a way to put any warm-blooded male (sans Luffy and Zoro) off guard. "Keep it up with the sexy stuff."

"Could you add in more blood and gore?" Robin asked. "Or maybe enemies who want to flay us alive and turn us into clothes? And more horrific monsters for us to fight. Ones who look like giant serpents with shark heads sticking out, and spits acid, and its skin is inside out, and—"

"Rooooobin!" moaned Nami, Usopp, and Chopper in sync. "Don't give him ideas!"

"Fu, fu, fu," she chuckled.

"Yo, ho, ho, ho!" Brook joined in with his signature laugh. "Could I have more opportunities to sing please? And perhaps some new songs?"

"Hmm," hummed Robin. Truthfully, she did not really want to terrorize her friends, except she was still having trouble really expressing herself. Although now that Brook mentioned that… "Could I have chance to show my own drawing skills more? I'm really proud of them."

"Hey!" Usopp blurted out. "Where'd Franky go?"

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Franky was only a few meters away, except he was being so uncharacteristically quiet, that he had gone unnoticed. The dictionary that had provided them all with comprehension, had also teased the massive man with details about something called the 'internet.'

Without preamble, Franky found the nearest computer, and logged himself in. For a man who had rebuilt and programmed his body (and suits of armour) from scrap, figuring out how to operate the software was as easy as drinking Cola.

After trawling around for the fun of it, Franky got serious and started searching for stuff related to the One Piece universe, and found a 'wiki' about them. However, it quickly became evident that the people writing it were hacks, too worried about being politically correct.

With growing concern Franky read through Luffy's bio intro.

Monkey D. Luffy, also known as "Straw Hat Luffy" and commonly as "Straw Hat", is the main protagonist of the manga and anime, One Piece. He is the son of the Revolutionary leader Monkey D. Dragon, the grandson of the Marine hero Monkey D. Garp, the sworn brother of late "Fire Fist" Portgas D. Ace and Revolutionary chief of staff Sabo, and the foster son of Curly Dadan. Luffy is a pirate and his lifelong dream is to become the Pirate King by finding the legendary treasure left behind by the late Pirate King, Gol D. Roger. He believes that being Pirate King means having the most freedom in the world. He has eaten the Gomu Gomu no Mi, which gives the consumer's body the properties of rubber. As the founder and captain of the Straw Hat Pirates, he is the first member of the crew, as well as one of its top three fighters.

Luffy has a worldwide reputation for causing trouble, challenging the Shichibukai, the Marines, and two of the Yonko (Big Mom and Kaido), additionally committing felonies and actions which were deemed threatening by the World Government. Furthermore, in the majority of these confrontations, he emerges as the victor. He has gained a reputation for being "reckless" and, in some cases, "insane", after causing an incident in Enies Lobby, assaulting a World Noble at Sabaody Archipelago, entering and escaping from Impel Down, and joining the Battle of Marineford.

He is, therefore, infamous for being the only known pirate to not only deliberately attack the three most important government facilities, but also escape from all of them alive. The additional fact that he punched a World Noble with full knowledge of the consequences, as well as his heritage, has caused Luffy to be labeled as a "Dangerous Future Element", earning the wrath of Fleet Admiral Sakazuki and Marine Headquarters.

These acts, among other things, have given him his current bounty of Beli500,000,000, one of the highest past or present bounties in the series. Having had a bounty of Beli300,000,000 prior to his arrival at the Sabaody Archipelago, Luffy is one of eleven rookie pirates who have reached the Red Line, pirates with bounties over Beli100,000,000 who would go on to be referred as the "Worst Generation."

With a sigh of disappointment, Franky started correcting it.

Monkey D. Luffy, also known as "Straw Hat Luffy" and commonly as "Straw Hat", is the SUPER main protagonist of the manga and anime, One Piece, and the future Pirate King, which will be recognition that he is the freest dude alive.

The details about Luffy's heritage were removed as irrelevant. Although Franky would have to check with Luffy about Curly Dadan.

Luffy is the sworn brother of late "Fire Fist" Portgas D. Ace and Revolutionary chief of staff Sabo. His lifelong dream that he SUPER will accomplish is to find the legendary treasure, the One Piece, left behind by the last and only Pirate King, Gol D. Roger. He ate the Gum-Gum Fruit, which gives him an awesome body of rubber. As the founder and Captain of the Straw Hat Pirates he is (obviously) the first member of the crew, and one of its top fighters.

Luffy has a worldwide reputation for making all the bigshots look stupid, challenging the Shichibukai, the Marines, and two of the Yonko (Big Mom and Kaido). He has also committed various hilarious 'felonies,' and actions which were deemed threatening by the World Government, like freeing slaves that their own laws state are illegal to hold, but that's hypocrites for ya. Furthermore, in the vast majority of these confrontations, he emerges as the victor because he is just that SUPER. He has gained a very well-earned reputation for being "reckless" and, in some cases, "insane", after causing an incident in Enies Lobby, assaulting a World Noble at Sabaody Archipelago, entering and escaping from Impel Down, and joining the Battle of Marineford to save his brother who we SUPER miss!

These acts, among other things, have given him his current bounty of Beli500,000,000, one of the highest past or present bounties in the series, and since he SUPER is the future Pirate King, it will obviously get bigger. Having had a bounty of Beli300,000,000 prior to his arrival at the Sabaody Archipelago, Luffy is one of eleven rookie pirates who have reached the Red Line, pirates with bounties over Beli100,000,000 who would go on to be referred as the "Worst Generation."

Satisfied, Franky saved his work, and then used his brilliance to create software that would prevent anyone from editing out his improvements. They could only add details that supported his Truth.

Then with trepidation, the shipwright opened up his own bio. Franky got halfway through the boring, dull, description that was an insult to a loud and proud man as himself. Stopping to stretch the fingers of his metal hands, he got down to work. This was going to take a while to make it SUPER enough for him.

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"Ahem," grunted the every pragmatic Jinbe. "If we're going to do anything," jutting a thumb towards the crowd that was beginning to stir once more, "then we'd better get going."

"Right!" Luffy grinned, slamming a fist into the palm of the other hand. "Nami, make sure I get lots of meat. Sanji, stay here. Oh, and Robin and Brook," the duo turned to their Captain, who waved his hand vaguely. "Go do something smart." The pair nodded, and quickly trotted off.

"The rest of you, with me!"

"Why can't I go?" muttered a dejected Sanji.

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"Now," ordered 'Black' Victor Cachat.

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Phones rang, beeped, and sang as every cell phone in the crowd of thousands—

—and went overlooked as five figures came crashing down before them.

It was a fall of several stories, suicidal, and they came anyways. As the first one stood tall, wearing jean shorts, a red shirt, and a straw hat, everyone knew.

Luffy.

Then was a muscular man with green hair and three swords, whose single eye seemed to cut the air itself.

Zoro.

Someone who could only be Chopper –completely adorable, and beyond any of the attempts the various fan artists had made to draw 'lifelike' pictures of him—puffed up into a massive ball of fur while yelling "Guard Point!"

Right behind him, was a long-nose man who gave a delighted yell as he landed into the warm, fuzzy, improvised trampoline.

(Seriously, imagine how soft that would be?)

Usopp.

Jinbe, a shark-human in all his glory who made the cement crack under the weight of his tiny feet, even as he towered above all the others.

It was impossible, yet here they were.

Silently the pirates faced their fans, until Luffy broke the tension.

To the listener's surprise, all of the Straw Hats were understandable, regardless of whatever language the listeners knew. For every single person, those voices sounded just like they imagined them.

"Sooo," Luffy said. "We're supposed to stop you from bugging Oda. Can you do that, please?"

"…"

"…H-how—!?" whimpered one of the fans, ironically dressed as the Straw Hat Captain himself. "A-are you…really…?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. We're them. See?" Pulling at the sides of face, Luffy stretched and contorted his head while giggling. "Whadya thank ah dhis? Ima Rabbar Maan!"

Gushing with disbelief, everyone in the crowd turned to each other, whispering and squealing with glee. Cell phones were out snapping pictures like crazy, videos were being taken, and people were calling friends and family to try and convince them that yes this was happening, and no they were not on drugs.

(Well, some of them were, but not enough for hallucinations this detailed, and most of the rest were perfectly sober).

This. This was more than they could ever have hoped for! Have imagined!

Then some of the more assertive fangirls made an important realization. The opportunity of a lifetime!

"I want Sanji's babies!" shrieked a busty woman in low-slung jeans and a bikini top. He'll never refuse me!

"Me too!" screamed another.

"Me!"

"I'll give him my virginity!"

Zoro just sneered again. "Captain? Thank you so much for making Sanji stay behind."

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Spinning around to face the crowd, Sanji struck a firm decisive manner. While he could not hear what was being said, his instincts were screaming for him to go. "Those ladies need me," he firmly declared, every inch the heroic white knight, ready to race to the aid of all the princesses in distress.

"Sanji," Nami flatly ordered. "Sit down."

"Yes Nami~swan!" he crooned, twirling about and taking his seat once more. With that out of the way, she continued to give Oda a lesson in extortion that he hoped his wife would not pick up on.

"Hey."

Cocking his head in interest, Sanji looked to Franky who looked…what was that expression on his face. "Yes?" the chef asked.

Coughing into a metal fist in uncharacteristic hesitation, the cyborg figured out where to start. "You know I'm a pervert, right?"

"And proud of it," Sanji nodded.

"Well," now Franky looked awkward again. "I found all the hentai and porn sites on the internet," again the thick and comprehensive dictionary that had been part of the process in creating them helped translate, "they've made on the whole crew. Aaaaand us with pretty much everyone else we know."

Sanji's nose was about to gush with blood at the thought of… naughty pictures of Nami and Robin, when something occurred to him. "And by this porn, you mean anyone can see this, right?"

"Yep."

The cigarette in Sanji's mouth lit on its own, while the room temperature sparked up a few degrees.

"And by the whole crew, you don't necessarily mean us with the ladies. But the guys with the guys."

"Yep."

"And, I don't mean to be nasty, but I'm guessing you checked to see if there was any…Franky and Iceberg stuff?"

"Yep," and now Franky looked ready to bite and chew steel.

…Actually, with all his improvements to his already superhuman body, he probably could do that easily.

"And, because you are being so vague and evasive, I'm guessing there is some stuff on there that you know would convince me this 'porn' is wrong, except it would also throw me into an enraged frenzy?"

Franky glanced at a picture of Sanji… eating with Zoro, and simply nodded, jaw clenched shut.

Idly tapping his chin as if he did not have a care in the world, Sanji considered this situation. "If we kill the internet, then that would interfere with people reading our story, right?"

The eavesdropping staff –sans Oda, whose balls were in basically in Nami's hands, and in a manner more likely to traumatize him than anything— were now staring with abject horror.

"Unfortunately," Franky conceded.

Shrugging, Sanji just waved a dismissive hand. "So just kill the porn sites. All of them."

Scowling, Franky shook his head. "You mean construct a super-computer virus to find and delete every piece of porn online, and any porn that has yet to be made? And something to keep them from just making hard copies? In the time we have left?"

"What?" Sanji cocked an eyebrow. "Are you not SUPER enough for that?"

Franky stared at his nakama impassively for a few seconds, then smashed one massive metal fist into the palm of the other, and deployed his miniature hands. "Get me some cola," he instructed, not looking away from the screen.

It was on.

"NOOOOO!" wailed assistant #4, charging at the pirates with a chair and brought it slamming down on Franky's back. "Not the porn!"

Neither pirate paid any attention to him.

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The situation was quickly getting out of hand.

Emboldened by pleas to make love with Sanji, more and more romance requests were flying about. Then there were the questions about the pairings, or pet theories.

"Zoro, you have an eye like Hawkeye's under your eyelid, right!?"

"Luffy, you know who your mom is, right!?"

"Jinbe, what do you know about the All Blue!?"

"Usopp, you would be the best married to Sanji!"

"Where is Sanji? Is his eyebrow real!?"

"Luffy, you secretly love Boa Hancock, right!?"

"No, he doesn't!"

"He loves princess—"

"NOOOOO!"

"SHUT UP!"

Everyone gasped as Luffy glared at them.

"What're you guys asking us all that for! Wait and read and see it from the manga! It'll be like you're on our adventures with us! You can see all we discover alongside us, and get ideas for your own dreams too! Just let Oda be to continue his story, so we can all live our lives together."

Hearing his words, seeing his face, feeling the force of his personality, and the simple yet moving honesty of his conviction, people nodded in understanding and agreement. In their impatience, had forgotten the importance of the journey. How reaching their dreams could never mean anything if it was easy to achieve, and how they would need to endure whatever came to get through.

Even if that meant waiting two weeks.

"SCREW THAT!"

The moment was shattered as one fan shoved his way to the front. Despite how the entirety of his costume was a red clown nose and a striped shirt, he belligerently struck out his chest to seem important. As if he were the voice of everyone behind him, as opposed to simply being loud.

"Why should we have to wait years to find out how it all ends!?" he went on. "Go up there and get Oda to tell us all about the One Piece, Roger, all of it! AND THEN TELL US!"

The fans who had a better appreciation of One Piece, and who could remember precisely the details of chapter 507, or episode 400 depending upon your preferences, were starting to panic. Unfortunately, they were all so packed together that no one could reach the idiot in time. His neighbors were being too courteous, and he was ignoring their attempts to tell him to stop, or slapping away their hands.

"IN FACT," he went on yelling, "YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO DO THAT! YOU CAN MAKE ODA HAVE THE ONE PIECE AS WHATEVER YOU WANT—"

Thousands upon thousands of people collapsed, frothing at the mouth as their eyes rolled back.

Throwing back one last glare, a furious Luffy stomped off back to Oda. Silently if knowingly, the rest of the Straw Hats loyally followed behind.

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Still fuming, Luffy leapt up the several stories to effortlessly come back into the window of Oda's office. Right behind him was the rest of the Straw Hats, with Jinbe carrying Chopper and Usopp.

Then in a blink Luffy's anger was gone. The utter stupidity that man had been spewing was not even worth remembering. He and his nakama had more important things to do. With that in mind, and their mission accomplished, they walked over to join the others.

The Straw Hats ignored the man slumped on the ground beside Franky, dejectedly and futilely repeatedly slamming their fist against his side, sobbing something about how the shipwright had ruined everything.

The cyborg in question was fixated on his computer screen, with Sanji and Nami reading over his shoulders.

"Huh," murmured Nami. "Some of this fan fiction is not so bad."

"There's some lazy stuff," Franky warned. "But yeah, other bits are pretty cool."

"Must…read…them…all," droned Sanji.

"Good, then we can leave you here," Zoro deadpanned.

"What was that, marimo!?"

"Any way we can take some of these back?" wondered Nami. "Might be interesting to read what others say about us."

"I dunno," Usopp said with apprehension. "After what we just went through outside, we might find some of it…disagreeable."

"Then we chuck it into the ocean," Nami decided. "Oh, wait, no. Robin wouldn't like that. …Give it to the marines to read?"

"Hah!" barked Franky. "We should do that anyways! Especially these ones where Luffy marries all these different women and has babies with them!"

The rest of the Straw Hats looked conflicted about that. Except Luffy, who appeared oblivious.

Glancing around in an effort to change the conversation, Zoro asked, "Aren't Robin and Brook back yet?"

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Ten minutes earlier

MasterQwertster was all but frothing at the mouth as they pounded at the sealed door. The Straw Hats, living, breathing, Straw Hats, were outside, and she could not get to them because she had put the building under lockdown! How unfair was that!?

Other fans in the building were at it too, with some even grabbing tables as battering rams.

"OPEN! OPEN!" raged MasterQwertster when suddenly she felt a sharp tug, disorientation, and she was on the next floor upstairs beside the staircase.

Bewildered, she turned around, and there he was.

Towering over her in his slim frame, afro, sunglasses, and white skull. With a long, boney hand, 'Soul King' Brook took off his sunglasses so she could stare into his dark, empty eye sockets. "Hello, may I see your panties?"

Legs shaking, MasterQwertster restrained herself long enough to tug down the side of her pants so he could get a glimpse of the colour of her undergarment. "Yes," she squeaked. Like she had been waiting for this moment her whole life.

"Why thank you! Yo ho ho ho!"

"Uhm…"

"Oh," Brook casually waved his hand. "We've got some questions for you."

"Huh?"

Then a rich, cultured voice spoke up, the tone pleasant even as a shiver of fear went through MasterQwertster. "We were most curious as to how the whole building was shut down so conveniently, especially given how whoever was ultimately responsible also managed to gather together so many of our admirers. So we decided to find out who was responsible by searching for this organization's mole," Nico Robin said as she stepped into view, almost from thin air.

"Which she probably did," MasterQwertster thought, and then realized she had spoken aloud given how Robin had given a little giggle, and Brook smiled. Yes! I can see him smile even though he's all smiles! I made a skull joke in real life!

Then she realized that Brook was poking her, and that she had zoned out. "Oh, sorry!" she gasped. "How may I serve you again?"

-0-0-0-

"Well," Rose7anne101 murmured as they observed the surveillance feeds from the hotel room. It was all over now, except for emergency services trying to wake up all of the fans. "That happened."

...

Silence.

Spinning around, they saw all their fellow leaders of the…gathering outside, were frantically typing away at their computers. Peering over 'Black' Victor Cachat's shoulder, it was evident to Rose7anne101 that their leader was putting down new ideas for fics as fast as they could think of them. "Is this really the time!?"

"Of course it is!" snapped 'Black' Victor Cachat. "When inspiration hits, you use it!"

"Uhm, in case you haven't noticed, our plan kind of failed, and there are a lot of unconscious people outside, and y'know, again, in case you didn't notice, THE STRAW HATS ARE REAL AND WE MISSED IT, BECAUSE WE WERE HERE AND NOT OUT THERE!"

Now 'Black' Victor Cachat turned to look at their friend, the light of zealotry burning in their eyes. "EXACTLY! Don't you see!? If they are real, then where did Oda get them from!? A new era is upon us now! The Age of Manga! Ga ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA!"

Then a ringtone went off, and 'Black' Victor Cachat stopped their maniacal laughter –just before a concerned Rose7anne101 smacked them over the head— to answer it. Recognizing the call display, they answered, "Yes, MasterQwertster?"

-0-0-0-

Shortly afterwards

'Black' Victor Cachat was prostrate upon the ground, bowing towards her greatness, Nico Robin.

It also hid how they were unable to stand, and with their face lowered no one could see the tears of joy pouring down.

The leader of the greatest act of fan solidarity –and even in failure the results had been spectacular beyond words— would not pull a Bartolomeo at this stage! No matter what it takes!
Or at least would not be caught doing so.

"Speak, and your will shall be done!" swore 'Black' Victor Cachat.

See? Perfectly cool. Glacial even.

She giggled –She had giggled! Life was Complete!— at these words. With a gait that sent tingles of fear and desire up the spines of all the men and women in the room –who were all also bowing down— Nico Robin stepped forward to look at those who had set these events in motion. "My Captain, Straw Hat Monkey D. Luffy sent me here," one man fainted, "to thank you for your work," 'Black' Victor Cachat struggled to stay awake as bliss consumed him, while two others blacked out, "and ask for your help."

The people on the ground froze.

Never in their wildest dreams—!

THEY WERE NOT WORTHY!

Promptly those unconscious were slapped awake so that they could contribute. Failure to do so would been an offense justifying an honour duel in response.

Robin continued. "Once Oda recalls us back into the manga, we are helpless. This is balanced by the fact that if he needs our help again, he will need our willing cooperation. However," now she and Brook laid down a few pieces of paper on a table, "we are hoping that ladies and gentlemen such as yourselves, with your initiative and intelligence, will be willing to take steps to make sure that he continues to behave. As well as quietly influence him to make a few other changes."

As one, 'Black' Victor Cachat, Rose7anne101, and all the others sat up and crossed their legs. MasterQwertster rushed over from where she had been skipping in place beside Brook, and did the same.

Without taking their gaze from Nico Robin's eyes, 'Black' Victor Cachat reached up to grab the celebratory bottle of sake they had been planning to drink once Oda had agreed to publish every week. Rose7anne101 grabbed the ceremonial cups that had been meant for the same celebration. Quickly pouring, with a little spillage from shaking hands, the cups were passed around.

"We hereby swear to," they all said as one, the vow pulled from their memories, and now engraved into their very souls with every word, "at any time and circumstance…Become thy shield! Or thy sword! As payment for all thou hast done for us! We twenty, with every fiber of our being, do hereby very selfishly take, with these cups of sake, our vows to be your underlings!"

And they drank the sake in one gulp.

Both Brook and Robin were visibly startled, and gently Brook said, "But we haven't done anything for you before today."

"With all due respect, sir," 'Black' Victor Cachat firmly corrected. "You, all of you, have done more for us than you'll ever know. We will do our bit here, and eagerly wait for the next chapter of your lives. The lessons and examples you give us.

"We will wait for you to find the One Piece, and see Luffy crowned as King of the Pirates!"

The smiles both pirates blessed them with were beautiful to behold.

"Just…don't rush or anything. Take your time about it. A long, loooong time," Rose7anne101 weakly added, to which the rest of her co-conspirators quickly and enthusiastically nodded.

"Yo ho ho ho!"

"Fu fu fu fu!"

"Erm …m… before you go on your way… if you don't mind us taking a picture …? …Please?" 'Black' Victor Cachat fumbled. This was their one and only chance and they were losing it.

"Yes, of course... we need a commemorative photo… to remember and... value this moment of time... and our promise to you… a photo is a must!" Rose7anne101 frantically continued, understanding their leader's intention and jumping on it.

Everyone around nodded dumbly with pleading puppy eyes at their idols.

"Well, if we must," Robin said gracefully, with a knowing smile.

"A photo with a song, Yo ho ho…" announced Brook, bringing out his violin.

"KYAAAA!" most of the group fainted. Through sheer force of will, MasterQwertster's stayed away to sing 'Bink's Brew' with every fiber of her being. She would earn his approval for this!

Rose7anne101 and 'Black' Victor Cachat were somehow able to press record on their phone, sharing a dumb smile plastered on their faces.

(Holding the phone straight to record was another issue).

-0-0-0-

A few minutes later, the two pirates were back with their nakama.

"All good?" asked Luffy.

"Of course, Captain," is Brook's jovial answer, while Robin smiles mysteriously.

I really should've just climbed out the window and ran instead, Oda concludes.

~~Finis~~

Author Notes:

Oh, like you would do any better if you found yourselves in such a position :-P

-0-0-0-

Please Review, and I will get back to you!