Author's Note: First of all I want to thank everyone for the awesome feedback and their very helpful opinions. After much deliberation I've decided to see where the story takes me in an organic way. I will see how things play out and try to put how I want things to go on the back burner. If that makes sense. I want to explore Veronica dealing with her issues and how it effects the LoVe relationship and how season 3 would be different if we saw Veronica deal with what happened with Cassidy and then Mercer. I just kinda wanna show everything I felt like they should've had V deal with but instead kind of brushed under the rug, similar to Logan's abuse. So we'll just see where the story takes us. Although I do have many scenes in mind that I would like to write and a lot of people asked some really good questions that got the gears going in my head that I want to incorporate. Anywho second I want to thank Bondopoulos for putting up with my neurosis, so thanks for putting up with me and being an awesome friend. Third, if anyone does want me to add in anything specific let me know and I'll see what I can do. So thank you once again and I hope you guys like the next chapter. Please review!

Thank you to: BrownEyedGem, Sunkissu9, Aubreylovesthegame, Iswhite, Ali-Cat, brokenbride, cainc3, AuroraBonaDea, nicolelouquesmith, Guest, Guest, Czomom, suzanne wolfe, MarshmallowRiggs, Guest, jcampbell943, kmd0107, kerali, Josielynn, kayte, Guest, cmackie, Guest, annbslade, Gust, nikatsu, marshmallowMore, Guest, Laetitia, dagchild, Sara, nuttynitnat83, Guest, Guest, Mirandaanw, lalacristina18, gloomygnu, Guest, AngelPete87, & irma66!

Enjoy!

Chapter 2 Nobody's Fault But My Own

And on the day you said it's true
Some love holds, some gets used
Tried to tell you I never knew
It could be so sweet

Who could ever be so cruel?
Blame the Devil for the things you do
It's such a selfish way to lose
The way you lose these wasted blues
These wasted blues

Tell me that it's nobody's fault
Nobody's fault but my own
Tell me that it's nobody's fault
Nobody's fault but my own

Nobody's Fault But My Own By Beck

The ride to the hospital was almost silent besides the EMT asking a bunch of health related questions. Veronica didn't speak unless it was more than a 'yes' or 'no' question.

Logan watched her intently almost nervously as if he were waiting for her to break. But then again wasn't he always waiting for her to break? He'd watched her fall apart on the roof of the Grand, but after the police came and took them away to a private room to ask them questions she was so stoic. She answered their questions in a detached manner, but it was like she shut down. The only way he could tell she was still in there was the fact she never let go of his hand.

Just like she was now.

It was like that night on top of the Grand all over again. He felt the same nervousness that ate away at the pit of his stomach. What would happen to her now? Would she be ok? What about her dad? The questions were almost the exact same too and he wondered if they'd ever escape fucked up things happening to them.

"Veronica?" he whispered kissing her on the forehead and trying to bring them both back to reality.

She glanced up at him and gave him a weak smile before resting her head on his chest.

"I'm here." She murmured back.

Logan's arms tightened around her and he couldn't help, but wonder yet again what was going to happen and what had happened while he was at home. Or as close to a home as he had.

They arrived at the hospital and the EMT helped Veronica out before trying to force her into a wheelchair. She adamantly refused to the point where the EMT's eyes crinkled up and began to glare at her.

Logan smirked at the EMT's expression. "Does she really have to get into a chair? She's not an invalid." He said earning the first real smile from Veronica all night.

"She's in shock." The EMT argued.

"Huh." He muttered before scooping Veronica into his arms and holding her to his chest. She gave a half-hearted glare on her part, but didn't ask him to put her down or demand to allow her to walk. Something that scared him more than it should. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy carrying Veronica, but he knew if she were really ok she'd put up a fight about being carried like some child.

The EMT rolled her eyes and then led them to the front desk before taking them to an empty room by a nurse. She grabbed a paper gown on the way and then went into the directed room. She dropped them into the room with a humph.

Veronica looked around the room for a minute before glancing over at Logan with a blush creeping up her cheeks.

"I have to change." She stated.

"Ok." Logan said. He stood there leaning against the wall wondering why she was telling him this.

She wiggled the gown in her hand and he sighed. "I've seen you naked before."

"I know."

They stared at each other and then Logan pushed off the wall and stepped out of the room so that she could change. He rested his head on the door and wondered how badly the Heart Rapist had messed up Veronica. If he was being honest with himself he'd admit that she was already messed up because of Cassidy and the Hearst Rapist was just the icing on the cake.

When she was done she opened the door and let him back in. Logan pulled a chair up to her bed and sat down in it as Veronica got under the starched covers of the hospital bed. Shortly after a doctor showed up.

The doctor was tall with salt and pepper hair and Logan wished that they had sent in a woman when he saw the look on Veronica's face when he appeared.

"Debra filled me in on what's going on. How are you feeling, Ms. Mars?" The doctor said putting some rubber gloves on.

Veronica shot Logan a look and Logan cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Can I speak with you?" Logan asked suddenly.

"What about? And who are you? A brother? A husband? Only family can—"

"My fiancé and I want a female." Veronica spoke up surprising both of the men.

The doctor's eyes narrowed, "fiancé isn't a husband."

"And I want a female. I'm the patient and I'm asking for a female doctor or at least a nurse." Veronica sharply enunciated.

The doctor glared at her and then at Logan who was smirking because Veronica had called him her fiancé, and she had finally seemed to find her voice again.

"It'll take longer." He declared.

"We'll wait." Logan said putting a comforting hand on Veronica's shoulder.

The doctor sighed angrily and snapped his gloves off before calling for a Dr. Shaw. He left without another word and Veronica seemed to relax.

"I would've been right here." Logan reassured quietly.

Veronica shook her head. "I know, but…after tonight I just…" she trailed off and began to gnaw on her lip.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Logan asked hesitantly.

Veronica looked up at him and searched his face as if she were looking for something to deter her from telling him. She was silent for awhile as her blue eyes gazed into his brown ones and then she let out a tiny sigh.

"I just want it all to go away." She whispered finally.

"We don't have to talk about it." He said hoping that she ignored his suggestion and talked about it anyway.

They needed to. It had been one subject, well actually one of many subjects they hadn't discussed. The list of Things-Not-Talked-About was growing longer and he really wanted to fix that, but he couldn't do it if Veronica didn't want to. Sometimes he was half scared that she would see through him and leave him for good. The first time they dated he'd been so messed up about the truth about Lilly and his dad, and then Weevil and Felix, he had fucked everything up.

This time he was determined to make it work, he'd lived without her, but it wasn't something he wanted to repeat. He was sure he loved her – had loved her for a long time – but he couldn't tell her that. He couldn't scare her away. He tried to be on his best behavior, but there were so many things they had to talk about that he was afraid would drive her away. It was just easier to not discuss them, but even if it was easier that didn't make it better.

She shook her head. "I think we should. I mean…I'm going to eventually, right? With the big bad Lamb coming tomorrow." She tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace.

"I'll wait until your comfortable, Ronnie, no pressure." He said repeating words he'd used half of the summer when Veronica would shy away from him when the make out sessions became too intense.

After the discovery on the roof it had taken Veronica awhile before she was ready to have sex with him and as much as he really wanted to make love to her he wouldn't push her any further than she wanted to go. It took awhile and they slowly had to work up to it, but eventually she initiated sex with him. He was proud of her and the sex ended up being the best of his life, which made him wonder what was going to happen now that she had regressed.

If the changing incident was any indication he had a feeling that things weren't going to go back to the way they were. He was tired to brushing everything under the rug anyway, every time he had tried to bring up the rape Veronica shut him down, which led to them never talking about it. Ever.

"Mac and I were going to see that midnight showing I told you about." She began.

"I remember."

"Mac forgot the tickets in the room and she was too shy to go in because Parker and…they were…anyway I went in since I'm me and didn't really care." She gulped.

She suddenly stuck out a hand and he took it tightly in his own. He wasn't as surprised by the gesture as he would've been when they were dating the first time. When they dated the first summer Veronica wasn't as touchy-feely with him as she became after they started having sex. On more than one occasion she'd be the one to initiate hand holding instead of him. She'd reach out to him and cuddle at night in bed, but he noticed she'd only do it when they were alone or if she was feeling particularly emotional. It was nice that he got to see the marshmallow-y side to Veronica, something not many people got to see.

"I couldn't find the tickets since it was so dark, but I noticed – that well it didn't sound like real sex." She continued frowning.

"What do you mean?"

"When we have sex we're loud and just…really loud. But it was so quiet, my first thought was maybe it was bad."

Logan couldn't help but smile at that, but quickly wiped it away when she looked up at him from starting at the hospital sheets.

"I don't know why I turned the lights on. It was like a feeling, I guess. So I did and I saw Mercer – that's his name, right? I saw him on top of her, but Parker didn't…she didn't seem…there." Veronica finished softly.

Veronica was silent for awhile until Logan prompted her along.

"Then what happened?" Logan inquired caressing her hand gently within his.

"He attacked me. I hit my head. Mac came in and tazed him. He didn't…hurt Parker." She whispered closing her eyes, but then popped them open again as if what she saw in her mind's eye was too awful to remember.

"You called him Cassidy." Logan muttered staring into her eyes and trying to read the emotions there. He saw fear, anger, hurt, and sadness. His heart tightened and he desperately wanted to crawl in bed with her and take her into his arms to protect her from everything.

He felt his own anger at Mercer and he wondered, just like he wondered about Shelly's party if this was his own fault. He knew Mercer, they had gone to Mexico over the summer for a brief weekend while Veronica worked on a case. He'd met Mercer years before at one of his family's parties and he seemed cool, but now all he wanted to do was beat the shit out of him. He had hurt Veronica and the need to go after the man who had hurt her was overwhelming.

"It just reminded…It was like I was watching what happened to me all over again. I couldn't… I saw Cassidy when I looked at him." Veronica admitted in a low tone.

Logan made a move to get closer, but the railing on the bed stopped him. He glared down at the divider and contemplated removing it just so they could be closer. All he wanted to do was protect her from the world and simultaneously all of the hurt he had already caused her. That night on the roof was continuously used as material for his nightmares, but especially Veronica's anguish filled words.

He raped me.

The words still haunted him and made him sick to his stomach. He wondered again and again if he could've stopped it. He wondered if he hadn't left with that freshman at Shelly's, or if he had never started the war in the first place if she could've been saved her. He wondered and wondered and wondered.

And finally he couldn't help, but wonder if she'd still want to be with him after finding out the truth. It was his fault. He was the guilty party. Would she still want him after knowing that it was because of him that she was raped? Did she blame him? And would she still want him now that Mercer – someone he knew – was the rapist?

Now everything was laid bear and he wondered again if this was his fault too. He knew Mercer although he'd never introduced him to her, he still knew him. This was just another way his fucked up life tainted her's.

If he hadn't been with Dick. If he and Veronica had went to the movie instead. If Mac had been home earlier. If he had just been there. Would any of this have happened?

"It's going to be ok, Veronica." He whispered needing the words more than she probably did.

"It's over." He added kissing her on her forehead as if to make sure she still allowed him to touch her.

She didn't reply and instead laid against the pillows and stared up at the ceiling quietly. Both were lost in thoughts of the past. All he wanted to do was protect her and somehow he always ended up hurting her more.

The doctor came in almost an hour later and she tried to mask the annoyance on her face, but both of the teens could tell she was less than happy.

"I'm Dr. Shaw, may I ask what was wrong with Dr. Knob?" she asked putting her gloves on.

"My gir—fiancé was attacked tonight by a rapist. She's a bit touchy around strange men right now." Logan said giving the woman a dark look.

Dr. Shaw had the decency to look ashamed and she began to look over Veronica's chart and then Veronica herself.

"I'm going to take a look at your head and your vagina to make sure everything is ok." The doctor said ignoring Logan's wince at the word 'vagina.' He'd always hated that word. It reminded him of seventh grade health class.

"You've been assaulted before?" Dr. Shaw asked looking between the couple.

Veronica nodded squeezing Logan's hand in her own.

"And you've recently been treated for an STD." Dr. Shaw said glancing at her chart.

"What does any of this have to do with tonight?" Logan snapped knowing how touchy Veronica was with both subjects.

"Have you spoken with anyone about what happened to you, Veronica?" Dr. Shaw asked ignoring Logan.

"I don't need help." Veronica retorted defensively.

"Everyone needs help." Dr. Shaw said softly.

"Now can you tell me what injuries you sustained tonight?" she added beginning to inspect Veronica's nether regions.

"I was attacked and I hit my head. The EMT said I was in shock." Veronica recited.

Logan couldn't feel his fingers anymore as the doctor poked and prodded Veronica.

"Did he penetrate you?" Dr. Shaw asked.

Veronica shook her head, "no."

Dr. Shaw nodded and moved away with her back to the couple so they didn't see what she was doing. She got out a flashlight and began to have Veronica look into the light and follow her finger to determine the damage done to her head. After a few other tests they were finished.

"Alright, you seem to be healthy enough. I'm going to recommend you two things though. First, you're going to stay overnight so we can observe you and make sure you're concussion isn't a major one and then I'm going to recommend you see Dr. Moon. She's a specialists with rape victims."

Veronica flinched at the terminology and looked away. "I don't need to see a specialist."

"From what I can tell you've been through an ordeal tonight. I don't know what happened to you in the past, but after something like tonight happens people need to talk about it. If it's happened to you twice, I highly recommend talking about it. No one can do everything on their own." Dr. Shaw paused and put the card on the table.

"I'm sorry this happened to you." she added quietly and then gave them a strained smile before leaving.

Veronica looked down at her lap wanting to avoid Logan's worried eyes.

"Do you think I should see someone?" she asked breaking the tense silence.

Logan cleared his throat uncomfortably and ran the hand not holding Veronica's through his hair.

"I think you need to talk about it, but I've been saying that for awhile." He said not dissuaded from the glare she shot at him.

"If I see a therapist – specialist, whatever – would you?" she asked.

He frowned, "what for?"

"Your dad."

A taut silence hung in the air as Logan stared at her in annoyance and Veronica glared back. Suddenly his lips curved upwards and he sat back in the chair choking out a laugh.

"We're quite a pair, aren't we?" he asked.

She cracked a small smile and nodded. She didn't reply, but her eyes screamed; do you still want me?

He sighed heavily and leaned on the railing dividing them. "When's your dad get home?"

"A few days."

"I think we should start there."

"Logan—"

"Veronica."

"I don't want to tell him. He'll only…I'll get over this. It'll be fine. We'll be fine." She said vehemently.

He shook his head, "come on, bobcat, aren't you tired of running?"

She glowered at him. "I'm not running, Logan. I just don't wanna talk about any of this. I don't wanna deal with any of this. It's in the past we are moving forward. I saved Parker. The Hearst Rapist is caught. Everything is going to be fine."

He stared at her wondering if she truly believed that or if she was just trying to build up her own courage.

"Veronica, it's not ok. You saved Parker and that's great, but you need to deal with this. You can't make it right just because Parker is saved. Parker isn't you and she'll never be you so before everything can be sunshine and rainbows you need to talk about it. You need to deal with it. If you won't go to a therapist unless I go then fine, I'll find someone to talk to about my dad – hell my mom too just for shits and giggles. But you need to see someone because burying yourself in some random case isn't going to make everything go away. I know you, I know how you are and I know how you cope. Catching one rapist isn't going to make everything that happened with Cassidy go away. Saving Parker isn't going to save you. Solving the case isn't going to make your problems disappear. We will do this together, and we will talk to people we don't want to, so that we can be ok." He said ardently staring into her eyes and needing her to hear him. He loved that she was independent and smart, but right now he really wanted her to ask for his help. He really needed her to be ok because she was his rock and if she wasn't ok he didn't know what would happen next.

She glanced away trying to figure out the warring emotions within her. She knew he was right and she wanted to give in, but she didn't want help. She could handle this on her own. She would be fine. If she just compartmentalized it everything would be fine. In a few days she'd be back to normal.

She felt so torn thought wanting to make Logan happy, but wanting to figure it out alone.

"I'll be fine, Logan. I'll just…compartmentalize it." She said finally giving him a feeble smile.

He scowled at her. "Veronica that's not—"

"Give me a few days and everything will be forgotten. I don't need to talk to a anyone." She said cutting him off.

"But Veronica—"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." She snapped interrupting him again.

He ran a tired hand along his face and nodded reluctantly. "Fine."

He stood up suddenly and stretched finally letting go of her hand. She tensed when he let go and watched him warily.

"Where are you going?" she demanded.

He smiled mischievously at her. "I'm going to go charm a pillow out of a nurse."

She scooted over in the hospital bed and patted the area beside her.

"Are you—?"

"Yeah."

He went to turn off the lights and then kicked off his shoes making sure to carefully got into bed beside her making sure not to get in the way of any wires or tubes.

She cuddled into him and he awkwardly maneuvered his long limbs in the small bed.

"Logan?" she whispered into the darkness.

"Yeah?" he mumbled back breathing in the sweet scent of her hair and trying to calm the anger he felt waging within him.

He was angry with Mercer, Cassidy, Veronica, and himself. He knew Veronica needed help and he was angry that he couldn't will himself to push her more to talk about it. He was afraid of driving her away, but his fear wasn't doing their relationship any good, or her any good for that matter. He was angry with himself for not protecting her from the monsters that were Cassidy and Mercer and lastly he was angry with Veronica for being so stubborn.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being here." She turned around slightly and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips before turning back around to try and go to sleep. Logan felt most of his anger leave him, but he vowed to figure out a way to get her to open up without scaring her away.

He stayed awake and listened for the tell-tale sign of her light snoring and deep breathing, but it never came.

(A/n: So what do you think? Next chapter we'll have Mac and Dick and Lamb.)