Dr. Burns: Part II

"OK, so ya know that hurt." D.J. muttered as he returned to his seat grabbing his foot.

"I said follow along didn't I?" Gracie asked with the most innocent tone. She had perfected it at a young age, and it melted any and every man or boy's heart, be they friend, family, or other. D.J. rolled his eyes and looked back to the front of the class.

Dr. Burns was pulling some papers out of a file and began to distribute them. "OK, looks like it's time for a pop quiz." He seemed to enjoy that just a little too much, and the room began to echo with gasps and groans. "Don't worry…too much. I just want to see where you all are." That gained some elated breaths of relief.

"No talking. You have until the end of class." Dr. Burns took his seat at the front of the class and began to play with a pencil until he grew bored with it and then moved on to pulling all of the tape out of the dispenser and forming a giant tape ball.

D.J., Grace, and Jake all took their quizzes, the twins finishing first, of course. Jake and Grace noticed that they both had time to spare and decided to entertain themselves. Being around each other that much had taken its toll, and without even conversing they began in on the same devious plan. The bell rang and all of the students at the head of the class rushed out, dropping their quizzes on the corner of the teacher's desk before making for the hallway of terror that formed between classes.

The three at the back of the room however, took their time gathering their belongings and cracking a few jokes that Dr. Burns couldn't quite hear. They were so involved in their conversation that they didn't notice when Gracie dropped something out of one of the pockets of her backpack, her school ID. The twins put their papers in the stack, followed by D.J. The three began snickering profusely after looking up at the glare the new teacher was giving them and booked for door. As soon as it opened the room was filled with the sounds of hundreds of voices, squelching shoes and slamming lockers. But Dr. Burns could hear the first part of the conversation that started as soon as the trio made it out.

He was sure it was the boy with glasses who asked the question, "OK, will you please tell me what is going on?"

Then he heard the other boy's voice as it started to blend in with the ruckus as the door began to slowly close on its own. "You realize that Dr. Burns is…."

And then the door snapped before he could hear the rest of the sentence. Dr. Burns is what? These three were going to be the death of him he could tell. Of all the things he had dealt with in his days that surely outnumbered what they looked like from his appearance, nothing had been as difficult as he was sure they were going to be. He got up and walked around the class to get the feeling for it. When he made it to the back he noticed the ID shining up from the tile floor. He picked it up and studied it. The young blonde's face smiled back at him, only this time it was a sweet smile and he actually found himself smiling back, especially when he noticed that the majority of the card had been doodled on and all that was visible was her first name, a partial student number and address. Usually he would have put off grading their quizzes until he had gone home and had a nice beer, but he was curious to see what else he could figure out.

He started with the first quiz on the top of the stack. D.J. Jackson. The quiz was quite good. There were a few mistakes on the math, but for all intensive purposes it was at least a solid B . He looked in the margins and noticed what looked like practice for a foreign language class, where the boy had surely gotten bored with the quiz that didn't really count.

Then he got to the first twin's quiz. Completely correct down to the last decimal point. Now he was getting irritated. This kid should probably be IN college. He looked back to the top again, it was the boy Jake. No wonder he and his sister were having such a good time and causing trouble in school, it wasn't enough of a challenge for them. Then he looked around the quiz to see that this boy, like the first, had also found time to doodle around the margins. He looked closer at the math equations. "How in the, what?" Dr. Burns looked more closely. This wasn't scratch work; these had nothing to do with the quiz. As far as he could tell, these equations looked like the formula for calculating interplanetary drift.

He quickly reached for the second twin's quiz. Grace, right, that was her name. This time he didn't even bother to check the correctness of the answers, but if he had there wouldn't have been anything wrong, it too was another A piece. Then he found it, there at the bottom of the page sat a perfectly descript, albeit short, explanation of wormhole physics.

"Son of a..." He muttered out loud. It had dawned on him, at least partially. Here he was working in Colorado Springs, and these two kids, and possibly the third as well, were obviously the byproduct of someone who worked for the SGC. Their little joke, though rather clever he mused, could get way out of hand. "Someone has been bringing their work home with them…" He said again out loud to no one. Then he looked at his desk again to see the picture of the curly headed brown eyed blonde looking back at him. This time the joke was going to be on them, or so he thought.

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"You guys have a good day at school?" An older man's voice came from the kitchen when Gracie came in the front door.

Soon enough she was bounding into the kitchen to greet her father. "Yes sir!" She got to her tip toes and landed a peck on his awaiting cheek.

"Where's your evil twin?" Her father waggled his eyebrows tauntingly.

"How many times must we go over this Dad? I'm the evil one." And she gave an overacted menacing glance that made him laugh. She was giggling too and made her way over to the refrigerator to get a drink. "Jake had practice; he should be home in a few hours. I swear if track practice doesn't start back soon I'm gonna lose it."

She poured her drink. "So, where's Mom?"

"Huh? Oh, she had something come up at work, she'll be home soon."

"Cool beans."

Just then there was a knock at the front door.

Gracie put her drink down on the counter with a thud. "For crying out loud, I'll get it." And she made her way through the house to the front door. Her chin almost hit the floor when she saw who was standing there.

"Dr. Burns?!"

"MS. Simpson."

"Um, what are you doing here? Sir?"

"You seem to have dropped this on your way out this afternoon." He held up his hand to reveal her ID.

"Crap." Her eyes rolled back and she shut her eyes tightly. This was getting ready to suck. But then she opened them and smiled, maybe it wasn't going to suck for her.

"Are your parents home young lady?"

"My dad is, but he doesn't like company, sorry." That evil grin that she got that irritated him was back. Why was it so irritating?

"Well, I think we need to talk about your quiz today, and certain, shall we say, extra credit that you and your brother added?"

"It's just a theory Dr. Burns."

"Yes, but I don't think it's yours."

"Then whose is it Sir?"

"That's beside the point. And are you a military brat or what?"

"Excuse me?"

"You keep calling me Sir like a professional title, not like a normal kid your age."

"Oh, sorry, we're Air Force." Huge slip.

"Let me guess, one of your parents work at Cheyenne Mountain?"

Her eyes got wide, was he on to them, maybe he had gone to the secretary's office…maybe he was leading her along and plan B was out as well. "Both, actually." She replied hesitantly. Where was Jake when she needed him?

"And do they know you like telling secrets outside of the base?"

"Sir?!"

"Un-huh."

Just then her father's voice came from much closer to the door. "Gracie-baby, who's at the door?"

She turned back cringing at her nickname and hollered, "Girl scouts!" No answer, he had either bought it or not heard her. However she still felt like he was about to chew her out when a very familiar angry face was looking at her in the doorway. She swallowed hard.

But just then her prayers were answered and help arrived. Her brother pulled his pickup in the driveway and hustled to the door, never noticing their visitor. "Practice got canceled so…Whoa!" Jake stopped dead in his tracks, and then he looked at his sister. "Gracie?"

She gave an apologetic stare. "I dropped my ID…address only by the way." She remembered her alterations now.

His big blue eyes grew a little wider with mischief. "Un-huh." There was starting to be a real lack of variety in the wordage of conversation and only two were in on the reason why.

"Alright you two, I need to talk with your parents. And they need to have a talk with you about what is and is not appropriate to talk about away from their place of work and your home."

Jake grew a huge grin and made his way in the door, grabbed his sister by the arm and pulled her reluctant form from the doorway, allowing room for Dr. Burns to come in. "Hope you had an aspirin today…" he chided. Then he winked at his sister. The boy was pretty evil too.

No one noticed the other car that had pulled into the driveway as they were making their way in the house. When they got to the kitchen Dr. Burns quickly addressed the figure that was now hidden by the open refrigerator door. "Mr. Simpson, my name is Dr. Burns; I'm your son and daughter's new physics teacher."

A voiced echoed out of the refrigerator. "I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess, lying about their last name isn't the only reason you're here." At this both twins pulled their mouths in a tight frown.

Dr. Burns gave them both a strict but questioning glance, trying to figure out why they would lie about their names. "No, sir, they seem to have put some possibly high security information on their quizzes today."

"Now why would…" The silver headed man stood up from the refrigerator, beer in hand, only to come face to face with a much younger, and extremely flustered, version of himself flanked by his teenage kids, trying to hide the smirks on their faces.

"Jacob George and Grace Janet O'Neill!!!!!!!!!" Both twins shot back to the doorway.

"Sir?" they both cried in unison, suppressing giggles.

Just then another voice could be heard approaching the kitchen. "Jack? Whose car is that out front…Holy Hannah!"

Dr. Burns was about to get whiplash from continuing to switch his gaze from the man at the kitchen, to the woman who had just approached from the hallway. "Carter?!" He screeched.

Sam looked at him with confusion. "Jack?"

"In here, Honey."

The grey streaked blonde looked around the man standing in the entrance to her kitchen to find her real husband further inside. "Jack, what's going on?"

"'Honey'? 'Jack'? What the hell is going on?" Dr. Burns was fitting the definition of freaking out. He directed his gaze at the twins who were now trying to get the heck out of Dodge. Sam quickly grabbed her escaping daughter and spun her around and Jack did the same with their son.

"This is going to be one of the most interesting teacher parent meetings I've EVER been to." Jack said with a slight growl.

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So there they all were, sitting in the living room. Jack and Sam were sitting on the sofa eyeing Dr. Burns and the twins. Dr. Burns was shaking a bit in his armchair as he downed his second beer. Jake was slumped back in a separate armchair looking rather smug with Gracie perched on the arm looking like she had just eaten the pet shop's entire stock of canaries.

Finally Dr. Burns leaned forward and put his beer down on the coffee table before sitting back. "So…I…you and Carter?"

"Yep." Jack said with a smug smile.

He turned to the twins still addressing the couple. "And they're your…."

"Yep." This time Sam had the smug smile.

"How?"

"Long story."

"Thought so."

Jake finally spoke up. "Um…we have a lot of homework that we should probably be getting to work on…"

"Ah Ack! Sit!" Their father only needed to raise his finger once and they were firmly planted back on the chair. "What, and I know I'm going to regret asking this, were you two thinking?"

Jake looked at his sister who had grown completely silent as she looked anywhere that wouldn't threaten eye contact. "It was her idea."

"No it WAS not!" Eye contact was back and fixed on her brother.

"You're the one who figured out he was Dad's clone!"

"And you're the one who said 'wanna have some fun?' Remember!?" If looks could kill. Apparently there were a few occasions when the devious masterminds really got into it. And apparently this was one of those few occasions. The bickering grew louder and more incomprehensible and when a few choice words that they had picked up from their father started coming out their mother finally interjected with a sharp whistle that she had perfected over the years.

"Hey!" These two were harder to control than the SGC, and she had been handling that for the past five years.

The twins cowered, "Sorry, Mom." They echoed.

"Now then, would you two please answer your father? Jake?"

"Yes, ma'am. OK, so we were in class and Dr. Burns here comes in to be our substitute because our regular teacher is having a baby."

"Wait a minute, your Physics teacher?" Sam looked at Dr. Burns with a bit of shock.

He caught it immediately and responded. "What's that look for Carter?"

Jack wasn't pleased hearing himself talk to Sam with that attitude. "Watch the tone there Buddy, she's not YOUR wife." A remark which earned him a quick glare from Sam.

Jake thought it would be a good idea to continue his side of the story before things got even more confusing. "SO! Anyways, Gracie about chokes to death when she sees him, and then she reminds me about that crazy Asgard Loki and….yeah. And from there we…I?" He looked at his sister for some support.

Already forgetting their scuffle she jumped in. "We." She smiled at her brother. "We decided to have some fun. It was harmless. Besides he started it by coming in there with an alias like 'Dr. Burns'." Then she started to babble off like her mother often did to her father. "And I still can't believe D.J. didn't pick up on it. He's so busy worrying he's going to get expelled or something. I mean, if they didn't kick us out for that incident with the Chem. Lab, then…"

They had reminded Burns of an important question. "Yeah, who is this D.J. kid anyways, he seemed to remind me of someone?"

Sam looked at her husband with a questioning glance. He raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes with his famous 'why not?' expression. She turned to his clone. "D.J. is Daniel's son."

"So 'Don' Jr. is really Daniel Jr." He looked towards the twins. That irritating grin was back on the girl's face. Then it hit him.

"Hey, that's my grin!"

Jack followed his gaze to his daughter who was now supporting a confused face that came as part of a package deal along with her father's eyes. "No, that would be MY grin, seeing as that's MY daughter." The girl beamed at her father who smiled back, he never could stay mad at her for long.

Dr. Burns pulled his hand over his face. "Would it be alright if I got another drink?"

Sam being a polite hostess replied. "Of course, help yourself." She went to get up to guide him but he waved his hand so that she didn't have to get up.

Jack followed Sam's gaze as the much younger version of himself made his way out of the room and towards the kitchen. "Samantha, dearest?" He waited for her to look his way. "We're you just staring at my butt?"

"What?" She began to turn a bright pink. "Sorry, you always did have a great a…"

She was quickly cut off by gagging and dry heaves coming from across the room. Jake had his hands around his throat with the official 'I'm choking' sign and Gracie was mocking sticking her index finger down her throat.

I know that is a random place to stop…but I haven't quite finished yet, and this way there will be an actual Part III to close with.

Please Review!!! Thanks for reading : )