Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.

Gasping slightly, she felt a little dizzy as she waited for the word to right itself. He couldn't really be here—fate couldn't be this cruel. She must be dreaming or delirious, his form a mere apparition. But as she felt his arms wrap around her tighter, she knew the battle had just begun. Even saying his name made her lose some of the power she gained by burning all her Arnold mementos. She was supposed to be free, but standing here nested in his arms, she felt more bound than ever before. She pushed away from him quickly, determined to not read into the disappointed look on his face. "What are you doing here?" She chastised herself as soon as the words left her mouth. He was obviously going to school here, Doi.

He chuckled and she tried not the let the sound reverberate in her heart. Tugging on his backpack he looked at her with a wide grin on his face. "I thought it was obvious."

She frowned. It was quite obvious. How could she had missed that he was going to school here? Admittedly she had tried to avoid him senior year, mentally preparing to let him go. But damn, this was a mistake of colossal proportions. Casually glancing behind him in an effort not to get sucked into the eyes what could make her do anything she grabbed her backpack and walked towards the elevators headed for her first class.

"I can't believe we're going to the same school." She said it more to herself than to him.

He turned and smiled at her. "Yeah, it's pretty great."

She smiled tightly. 'Great' wouldn't be the word she would use to describe it. Merciless, nightmarish, hopeless—those were the words coming to mind that would best describe this situation.

"Well, this is me," he said pointing towards the life sciences building. "I'll catch you later. Maybe we can have lunch together?"

She nodded. Not really knowing how to interact with the boy in her post-Arnold obsession world. She was too in her head and right now she needed some distance from him. If that annoying ass voice buzzing around in her head didn't shut up soon she was liable to do something foolish—like mistake his friendly offer of lunch for something more. "Yeah. See you later."

She turned, ready to run to her English Romanticism class. She couldn't stand being so close to him, smelling him, feeling his body heat. It was all too much, and she was slipping.

"Hey Helga?" He looked so cute nervously biting his lip.

She turned back around slowly. "Yes?"

He smirked and held onto the strap that was slung over his left shoulder. "I'm really glad you're here."

She smiled and rushed to her class. At least she could find some solace in her coursework right?

Wrong. All Helga could think about was Arnold and their impending lunch…thing. She scrutinized and analyzed every morsel of their conversation, looking for clues that hinted toward his intentions. By 11:30 she forced herself to focus on the professor and syllabus for her Anthropology class. She could do this. She could be a casual friend with him until he undoubtedly ditched her when he made his own. She could remain unaffected by it all. Panic crept in when she realized it was 12:15 and she seriously considered standing him up. Shaking her head she push that though aside. She wasn't going to live her life avoiding him. After all, he knew where she lived.

She summoned all of her courage grabbed her ID from her desk and made her way to the cafeteria. Surveying the space, she had to admit she was a little awestruck. She watched the hustle and bustle, heard the laughter and clamoring of students and watched people find tables and eat. She had come a long way from the girl whose mother packed saltines and shaving cream for lunch. Shaking her head at the memory she stood in line, grabbed lunch and sat at an empty table near a window overlooking the campus. She was a bundle of nerves, twisting her hair trying to keep her idle hand occupied. In an attempt to calm down she pulled out her trusty journal and began writing furiously. After a few minutes she looked up and couldn't help her automatic smile when she heard his deep, husky voice.

"There you are." He smiled his devastatingly handsome smile and she pinched her thigh in an attempt to forego swooning.

"Hey," she responded. She wanted to sound as unaffected by his presence as she was supposed to be. He sat down in front of her and she couldn't help but feel the scene seemed…intimate. Erasing the thought from her mind she decided to relax and ask him about his classes.

She was engrossed in his descriptions, smiling softly at his wild gesticulations. She saw how excited he was and the light in his eyes warmed her heart. Letting her guard down she blurted out, "I'm glad you're studying to be a microbiologist. It suits you."

He stopped for a moment, momentarily stunned by her kind words. Finding her hand he slid his across the table to squeeze it. "Thanks Helga."

She nodded. Inside she was dying. He still had a hold on her hand and she couldn't tell if pushing it off hers would break or mend her. Deciding against saying anything she listened as he continued talking about his classes, melting a little bit more each second their hands remained clasped.

Helga felt it before she saw it. Pulling his hand away from hers he grinned sheepishly and waved someone over excitedly. Confused, she followed his gesture and found a short brunette walking over to them. She glided over and she watched Arnold jumped up to find a chair to accommodate the unexpected addition. "Helga, this is Casey from my organic Chemistry class. I told her we were having lunch and invited her to tag along." Furrowing his eyebrow between the two he stood next to Casey and asked, "Is that okay with you Helga?"

What else could she say? "That's fine. Have a seat Casey." She smiled and gestured toward the new chair.

She followed their conversation with polite nods to show that she was listening but their words and sounds became distorted. She felt invisible. Casey's giggles began to buzz in Helga's ears and she knew she had to get out of there. Her mouth was dry but she couldn't swallow; not with the lump slowly forming. Pull it together, she told herself over and over again. But she couldn't. She felt like the biggest masochist in the world wearing a fabricated smile while this girl openly flirts with the boy she's showered with unrequited attention for most of her life. Shit. She was pathetic. No wonder he never looked her way.

Refusing to stay another minute she jumped up, flushed that all attention was now on her. "I'm sorry. I have to go. I have work in a few minutes." Ignoring their protestations she began backing away. "It was nice to meet you, Casey. See you later Arnold." She dumped her trash and flew out the dining hall.

Walking impossibly faster she angrily wiped at the traitorous tears that fell. This is what she deserved for daring to dream, for reaching too high.

The most damaging lie he told was to herself. And she repeated it time and time again. He would really see her and love her wholeheartedly. He would want her, choose her. It was a fool's errand and she had the scarred heart to prove it. She was sticking to the original plan. It was time to move on. If she needed a sign he just gave her one in bright, shiny neon. It would never be her, he would always choose someone else.

She found she was once again fighting a losing battle against her age-old adversary—herself.