I glanced up at his happy, wrinkled face.

"Hey," I murmured, "How are you?"

"I'm well, and yourself?"

"I just got fired from my job and then fell through a magic portal thing…I feel exactly how anyone else in that position would feel,"

"Oh, my. You have had quite a day, my dear!" he chuckled.

"No don't call me that," I heaved a sigh, "It makes me sound old."

I blinked several times before finally glancing around. I was in a big, open stone room with the sun flooding in through the open windows. Oh yeah, and I was surrounded by a large gathering of ridiculously good looking men and one woman.

"I suddenly feel really insignificant," I whispered, "and ugly." Deep breath… "Uh, hello…"

"Hello, child," the nauseatingly beautiful woman smiled kindly, "I see you have found a use for my most prized possession,"

I stared at her for a few minutes.

"Sorry, what? I'm emotionally and physically drained…and your face in overwhelming," I groaned, "I want to be pretty!"

That got a few laughs, so maybe those could count for Brownie point!

"Sit there, Olivia!" Gandalf helped me up and turned to an open seat by a very gorgeous man.

"No!" I resisted, "No no no nonononononooooo!" I dug my heels in the stone (yeah that doesn't work by the way) and pressed myself into the wizard.

"And why not?"

"Because he's prettier than me and he's a boyyyyy!" I whined, "I feel weird!"

Clearly exasperated, I felt his hands jab into my shoulders as he propelled me forward, "Honestly, Olivia, you are truly ridiculous!"

I was unceremoniously shoved into the chair, and immediately shrunk back into it.

The elf glanced down at me and smirked, "Hello, Miss Olivia,"

"Uh my name is Olly,"

He ignored me.

They began speaking in Elvish, but I only caught bits and pieces of the conversation. But seriously? It was incredibly rude!

"Excuse me!" I called, "Can I go home? I mean, I'm clearly not included in this conversation and I really wanna get out of here, sooooo," I kinda let the rest of the sentence hang…

"No, I am afraid that is not possible, my child," a man, who wasn't as pretty, said, "You are not permitted to leave yet."

"Yet?" I questioned.

"Not yet," the elf next to me clarified.

"Shut up!" I snapped at him before turning back to the man, "What do you mean 'not yet'?" then I turned to the lady and shouted, "You brought me here! Send me back!"

The elves gasped.

"I did not bring you here," she stated calmly, "You brought yourself here."

"The hell? No I didn't! Your stupid ass did! What is this; high school? You can't do this! It's KIDNAPPING!" I leaped up, "Gandalf, tell her to send me back!"

He stood up and glowered at me, "I will not command Lady Galadriel,"

I glared at him.

"Think back to when you were a child; do you remember me telling you about Lady Galadriel? Lorien?" he probed.

"Whaaa? That has nothing to do with this bitch! I don't give a flying fuck about her-"

All the color drained from my face.

"Oh my shit…you're like…really important," I stuttered, looking up at the lady, "You're like the main shit shit, the Ill Nasty Nana…like "I wanna get your mom pregnant because I'm cool like that" stoner at the skate park…oh SHIT!"

"Though I did not understand a word you have just said, I accept your apology," she smiled kindly.

Still dumbfounded, "That wasn't an apology, but thank you for forgiving me…I'm just gonna…sit down…bye," I started at her for a few more seconds, "…bye…"

Sprinting to my chair, face burning, I slumped down.

The elf next to me smiled, "Ill Nasty Nana? Getting her mother pregnant?"

"You're an asshole," I hissed.

"The cursing was a lovely touch," he snuck his nose in the air, "A lovely first impression,"

"I'll 'first impression' your asshole, you dick weed!"

"Olivia!" Gandalf scolded, "Quiet! No more talking!"

Trust me, I did not want to.

"Yes, Olivia, no more talking,"

Before I could retort, Gandalf cleared his throat.

I waited for the conversation to begin again before I rammed my elbow into the Dick's side and mouthed "I hate you".

He just smiled.

Swear to JESUS, that meeting lasted all day! Well not all day, but it lasted a long time!

"Miss Olivia, you will be staying here for a while," the man from earlier said, I think he was called lord Elrond, "I will have my son show you to your rooms," he looked behind me so naturally, I looked back too.

What I saw would give me nightmares for the rest of my life!

"There are TWO Dick's?!" I screeched, seeing another Dick standing next to my Dick! (Any other time I would bust up laughing at hearing that, but I was still tripping over my balls)

"I am Elrohir," one bowed, "And this is Elladan,"

"Which one do I hate?" I asked.

"Elladan."

I snorted.

"That's a girl's name."

"It really is not…"

"Yeah my sister's name is Elladan!"

"I seriously doubt it."

"My mom's name is Elladan, too."

"I do not believe you."

"There's this girl at my school named Elladan!"

"You're lying."

"Oh, so NOW you read minds?" I spun around to Gandalf, "I refuse to be escorted to my rooms by her!"

"He will escort you, presently," Gandalf growled, "Go!"

"No!" I snapped, "I'll find it myself!"

Then I stalked out of the room, cussing enough to turn the air blue, and I kept walking for about, eh, fifteen minutes before I realized I was so, totally, and completely lost!

"Your rooms are the other way!" the two dicks appeared behind me.

"Go away!" I hissed, "I don't need your help! I can do it myself!"

"Alright, go ahead. We were ordered to follow you."

I groaned before smirking, "Okay…if you can keep up…"

And then I sprinted away. Behind me, I heard shouts of irritation before the twin penises ran after me.

"Just give up!" I shouted, pivoting through the corridors.

"We do not give up!" they yelled in unison.

"It's easier!"

"No!"

"Eh, to each their own, I guess. Bye, bitches!" I slid down the railing of a rather large stair case and then ran to two large doors that lead outside.

I most likely disrupted the peaceful inhabitants of this place, but I didn't stop running-I guess the coaches somehow knew that I'd be in this position when they were making us run every single practice.

Finally, after sprinting through the gardens, I ran back inside…a different building.

It was small and dark. And empty.

My breathing seemed way too loud, and my footsteps echoed in the eeriest way possible. I walked into a more open area and found a statue, and under the statue, was a table with a silk sheet over it. On the sheet were various shards of a sword.

The air grew heavy, and I felt like a thick blanket was thrown over me and preventing me from breathing.

I gulped awkwardly, something telling me I should leave, but something else telling me to stay.

I just stood there.

And then, after mustering up as much courage as possible, I walked slowly up to the table and reached out to touch the sword.

Right when I touched it, it felt like a lightning bolt shot through me, but also, I heard someone come in and shout.

"No! You cannot be in here!" I gasped and let out a girly squeal (Which will NEVER be mentioned again!) and spun around.

"SORRY!"

"Hush, girl!" he was tall, and had long chocolate colored hair. Milk chocolate, though, not dark chocolate…or white chocolate. Just saying-people may get nitpicky with "chocolate" so…yeah milk chocolate. And soft, almond shaped amber eyes.

"Sorry…" I whispered, "I didn't know I wasn't supposed to be here…"

"It is supposed to remain locked, as of late, but I was… cleaning." So he was a servant?

"I'm just trying to hide from those twin freaks, honest! I wasn't trying to mess up anything, please don't kill me!" I squeaked pathetically, noticing his rather large bow and daggers.

"Twin freaks?" he furrowed his dark eyebrows, "the Masters? Lord Elladan and Elrohir?"

"Sure."

Suddenly, the strange perked up and ushered me into a small alcove with a curtain, rendering me hidden.

"Have you seen a short girl?" the twins burst in, "A mortal? She has curly hair? Big eyes?"

"She's wearing pants!"

The man shook his head, "No, my lords, I have not."

One of the twins growled, "You said she came in here, 'Dan!"

"I thought I saw her come over here! Shut up, 'Ro!" they threw several halfhearted punches before stalking to the door.

Then they turned, and Elrohir eyed the elf, "You should not be in here. Leave, before my father hears word of you in here."

"Yes, my lord, I…" he hesitated, "I will leave."

The twins stayed still.

"Presently." Elladan said firmly, "Now where is that wench?"

They ran off, shouting angrily at each other.

A heavy silence filled the air again.

"You may come out now," he whispered.

"Thank you." I said, smiling, "You saved me from their stupidity."

"My pleasure," he bowed, "Now, I must leave."

"Hold up!" I trotted over to him, and stuck my hand out, "My name is Olly!"

He stared at my hand, and then cleared his throat and gently kissed it.

"Oh!" I jerked my hand away, "No, you were supposed to shake it…"

He looked confused.

"Never mind," I sighed, "This place is so confusing."

"Excuse me, is something amiss?"

"Yes," I grumbled, "My whole life is…"

We left the building, making sure it was locked, before stealthily running through the gardens to the edge of the forest.

"What do you mean?" he asked, after ten minutes of silence.

"Huh?"

"You said your life is amiss…why?"

"Long story."

"I have time…"

I smirked, "First, you have to tell me where we are going."

"A hill."

"That narrows it down," I snorted.

He just laughed, and then ran.

"Hey!" I shouted, "Get back here!"

Man, I hate chasing people…

I heard him laugh again, before he abruptly stopped at the edge of the forest and motioned at a hill ten paces up.

"It's magnificent. Haven't seen a hill before…"

"You can see all of Rivendell from here!"

Plopping down, and dragging him with me, I sighed.

He looked at me expectantly, and I giggled, and then told him my story.

I told him everything that happened since I touched the tree/portal, and until he found me by the shards. Only, I didn't mention that I had already met Gandalf.

After I ended, he erupted into laughter.

"You truly said that to Lady Galadriel?!" he roared with laughter.

"I didn't know who she was!" I laughed, "And that's really all you're capping on? Not that I fell through a portal into another world?"

He was still chuckling, but he managed to say, "Lady Galadriel brought you, Olly, she always has reasons."

"She said I brought myself here!"

He smiled, "Yes that is strange…"

Then he glanced at me, "You're strange."

"I know you are, but what am I?" I retorted, making a face.

He gave me a funny look, "Uh…strange?"

I shrugged, "Good answer."

We stayed in silence for a while, sun bathing. It was nice, but quickly became boring.

"I never got your name," I blurted out.

"It is Aerdirnaithon."

…

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I gave him an incredulous look, "I can't say that!"

He looked at me innocently, "That is my name."

"I'm just gonna call you R, okay?"

"I-uh…alright…"

"So, R, what do you do around here? For fun, I mean…" I absent mindedly played with one of my curls.

He hesitated, for what, I do not know, but then he cleared his throat, "I stay here and practice archery."

"Oh, archery," I mused, "Fancy. Teach me."

R looked shocked, but then he turned to me, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," I shrugged, "I'll probably embarrass myself, but hey. Yolo."

"Yolo?"

"You only live once," I informed, leaping up, "Teach me, bro!"

He gracefully stood, and took out an arrow and handed me the arrow and his bow.

"Feet shoulder width apart," he instructed softly, and adjusted me into position, "You target is that branch."

He helped me pull back the arrow, and then released me.

"Aim," he whispered, and holy balls, I about lost it. He was, not going to lie, gorgeous and touching me!

"Fire," he breathed, and I did.

I let of the arrow, and there should have been like victorious trumpets playing because I totally didn't…hit…the target.

I missed, bad. Like really bad…like I shot the ground a few feet in front of me…THAT kind of bad.

R cleared his throat, and smiled at me, "Maybe archery is not your strong suit…"

"You're probably right," I handed him the bow, and then turned to see a bunch of elves on horseback trotting through the grassy plain far below us.

"So are you training to be like a warrior or something?" I questioned, glancing behind me at the elf.

"I want to be," he said, he smiled (he looked kind of sad), "I am only a guard right now."

"Do you fight?"

He looked at me, uncomfortable, "Yes." He choked a little, but "ahemed" and said, confidently, "Yes."

"So can you use that thing? The bow?"

He took out an arrow and notched it, aimed, and shot the arrow at the tree.

Then he aimed at a skinny branch, and hit it perfectly.

He repeated that same action with about six targets I could have only made in my wildest dreams before looking over at me, smiling.

"Show off." I grumbled.

He just laughed and walked up next to me, "You want to know a secret?"

"Oh, I love secrets!"

"You are the only person I have taken up here," he smiled, "I had only planned on bringing one person up here, ever. To ask her to marry me…" he knit his eyebrows together.

"Did that ship sail?" I asked, nudging him.

"Yes!" he looked up at me, with wide eyes, "He sailed to the Grey Havens! How did you know?"

I stared at him, for a good long minute, and then turned back to watching the riders below us, "Don't even worry about it."

He shook his head and studied me (creepy, but I ignored it)

"You like horses?"

I glanced up at him, "Yep! But, don't know how to ride…"

Ten minutes later, I was standing next to a tall stallion with a grinning R next to me.

"Don't smile like that, you creep," I sneered at him, "you look like the fucking Cheshire Cat."

He held the reins to his own stallion and mounted, easily.

"Put your foot in the stirrup, and swing your leg over."

"I'll put my foot in your ass, you bitch! I said I didn't know how to ride, not that I wanted to!"

R just stared.

"I'm waiting…" he sighed, fiddling with his horses' mane.

"Fuck, shit, dick, shit, jerk off, bitch, fuck fuck fuckedy fuck!" I shakily put my foot in the stirrup and tried to get up, but the horse shifted and I fell on my ass.

R roared with laughter, and some elves at the other side of the corral laughed quietly to themselves.

"Yeah shut up!" I pointed at the random elves, "Look away!"

They quickly looked away.

"I know you're still laughing!"

I stood up and gripped the horses' reins and tried again. The horse snorted and sidestepped so I fell on my face.

More laughter.

I try to get up.

Horse does something.

I fall.

More laughing elves.

It. Went. On. Forever.

And then, out of nowhere, I actually got up!

"HA!" I screamed, "I DID IT!"

R, the random elves, and some stable hands all clapped (yes, they were all watching me-weird, I know).

The celebration ended when an angry Elf lord, a regular elf, a wizard, and a pair of dicks appeared.

Everyone slowly disappeared, except for R and me.

"Aerdirnaithon, 'tis a pleasure to see you." Elrond smiled, but it wasn't genuine.

"My lord," R immediately dismounted, and dropped to his knees, head bowed.

"And Olivia, it seems the search is over, my sons, I have found her."

The twins glared at me.

"Uh, hey guys…" I laughed nervously, "You found me!"

"Aerdirnaithon, what is this I hear about you in the hall with the Shards of Narsil?"

R coughed, clearly scared, and said quietly, "I do not know…"

"And you hid Olivia! You lied to us!" one of the twins yelled.

"Hey, man, you don't know anything! What if he didn't know I was there?" I spoke in defense of my new best friend.

"Beltarion saw you two flee the hall, Olivia." Gandalf spoke up.

The regular elf nodded curtly.

"Servants are not allowed by the Shards, little one." Elrond said to R.

"But he's not a servant!" I chimed in.

"Olly, please." R muttered.

"No, he has your status mixed up,"

"Hush, Olivia, I am begging you." He pleaded.

Ignoring him, I looked back to Elrond, "Can't guards go in there?"

Everyone raised an eyebrow, "Aerdirnaithon is not a guard, Olivia; he is a servant. Beltarion, who I have put in charge of the servants, was looking for him-Aerdirnaithon has duties-especially since we have guests."

I gasped, looking at R.

Anger rushed through me (I hate liars).

Struggling to dismount, I ended up falling onto the ground on my back, but I rolled over and jabbed my finger at R, who was blushing.

"You lied to me!?"

Beltarion stalked forward and gripped R's arm, and when Lord Elrond nodded, he stalked away from the group, R is tow.

I spun to the stallion I was just on, "And what are you? A sheep?"

There was a heavy silence.

"Mulan?" I offered, "No one knows about Mulan? No?"

I gave a harsh sigh.

"This place sucks."

XXX

Sorry it took so long, but the chapter is long, so does that make up for it?

PLEASE REVIEW! 3

Also, I tried to edit, but if there are mistakes, I'm sorry!