Commercials Done by Lord of the Rings Characters 2/3

Merry and Pippin

*Merry and Pippin walk in*

Merry: *obviously saying scripted lines* Hey, Pippin, don't you hate being short?

Pippin: *who hasn't read his script* No.

Merry: …

Director: Cut!

-Take Two-

*Merry and Pippin walk in*

Merry: Hey, Pippin, don't you hate being short?

Pippin: Um…yeah, totally…*drops character* Unless I get children discounts at restaurants because I look like I'm eight. Then that's pretty awesome.

Director: Cut!

-Take Three-

*Merry and Pippin walk in*

Merry: Hey, Pippin, don't you hate being short?

Pippin: Yeah…

Merry: Don't you wish that you could just drink some sort of potion, and then suddenly be taller?

Pippin: That seems sketchy.

Director: CUT!

-Take Twenty-Eight-

*Merry and Pippin walk in*

Merry: Hey, Pippin, don't you hate being short?

Pippin: Yeah…?

Merry: Don't you wish that you could just drink some sort of potion, and then suddenly be taller?

Pippin: That would be so cool.

Merry: Then try this! *Merry tosses Pippin a bottle* This is Entwash!

Pippin: Wow!

Merry: It has a unique formula that is totally foolproof in making you tall –

Pippin: *reads from back of the bottle* Warning: Side effects include drowsiness, headaches, making you shorter, and death.

Director: addsiuiugfuiwguirgfu CUT!

-Take Fifty-Six-

Merry: Hey, Pippin, don't you hate being short?

Pippin: I LOVE BEING SHORT AND I'M SICK OF THIS COMMERCIAL.

Merry: …Pippin, you're an ass.

Pippin: I SUPPORT BEING SHORT! *walks out*

Merry: *awkwardly standing in an empty room* Is that a wrap?

Director: …I hate hobbits.

Aragorn

*Aragorn barrel-rolls in*

Aragorn: Being a badass is stressful on your body.

*Aragorn is demonstrated killing a dozen orcs using a butter knife, and then is displayed looking like his joints are in pain*

Aragorn: But now, with 3-in-1 BADASS BITES, you'll be prepared for anything!

*Aragorn is shown falling off of a mountain and landing on his feet like a boss*

Aragorn: Enriched with vitamins to keep you strong; injected with painkillers for those badass joints; and made minty fresh for all those ladies.

Arwen: *breaks down a door to get into the filming room* DID YOU JUST SAY 'LADIES'?!

Aragorn: Shit.

Arwen: *holds up a random frying pan and starts to attack Aragorn*

-ten minutes later and Aragorn is on the ground with multiple bruises-

Aragorn: How m-much painkiller-ing-stuff is in this? *holds up BADASS BITES bottle*

Director: A lot…

Aragorn: G-good *downs entire bottle* mmm, m-minty fresh.

*Aragorn passes out*

Boromir and Frodo

*Boromir and Frodo walk in*

Frodo: Sometimes carrying a powerful ring can be stressful.

Boromir: *looks offended*

Director: Boromir, say your line!

Boromir: *through his teeth* Sometimes seeing a powerful ring can be…tempting.

Frodo: That's why I use Protecto-Spray, a harmful spray that can keep me and the ring safe! Let's demonstrate.

*Boromir and Frodo back away from each other*

Boromir: *sarcastically* Oh woe is me, I feel like I need that shiny ring of yours, Frodo.

Frodo: Oh nooooooooo! *holds up Protecto-Spray and points it at Boromir's face. Accidently shoots it.*

Boromir: WHAT THE HELL. *falls to the ground in pain*

Frodo: I thought it was empty! I thought it was empty! *throws bottle to ground and starts to run around*

Director: That was PERFECT!

Boromir: I FEEL LIKE MY FACE IS MELTING OFF.

Frodo: *is crying* I'VE MELTED BOROMIR!

Director: I've gotten some good footage!

Thanks to Micky S. J. Reilly for reviewing!