A Note From Lady Bad Luck: This wasn't supposed to happen. It turns out Sis has given up on her gender-bender fic, so I'm allowed to cannibalise it for scenes that I want. Thanks to all you reviewers- and there's quite a few of you, too. Four, I think. (You can tell I come from a small fanbase originally. ^^)

And this is what happened in the other two worlds. I'm not sure If I'll continue past this point or not…

How Not to Deal With Extra Bits

The yowl of an enraged cat echoed through Urahara Shoten, accompanied by several women shrieking (and by the sounds of it, trying to batter down the Shoten door). Urahara Kisuke hid a satisfied smirk with his- ahem, her- fan. Everything was going exactly as planned. (For a given value of 'exactly'; Kisuke hadn't quite counted on himself being changed into a woman as well.)

On the floor near the living room door, Hirako Shinji groaned, gingerly resting her arm over her eyes in an effort to block out the light. All that alcohol from last night was exacting its price from the Vizard, and Kisuke eyed her warily. She'd had enough experience with Shinji's projectile-vomiting talents to know to stay away at all costs.

"So you're awake," Kisuke said innocently. "Feel any different?

Shinji thought for a moment. Moved her hand down to her chest. Ran for the toilet.

Several minutes later, Shinji emerged, haggard and despairing. "What the hell did we do last night?"

Kisuke tried to chuckle, but it came out sounding even more giggly than usual. "I'm fairly sure you switched my reiatsu trackers with reversal charges, and when I sent one out, it appears to have changed everyone with a certain amount of reiatsu into the opposite gender."

Shinji blanched. "Is that true?"

Kisuke nodded. Shinji opened his mouth to say something, and at that exact moment, the loudest shout yet rang through the Shoten.

"KISUKE, IF I CATCH YOU I AM GOING TO RIP YOU LIMB FROM LIMB AND CASTRATE YOU!!"

Kisuke looked at Shinji. That had sounded uncomfortably like Yoruichi's cat-voice.

"I think we'd better get out of here."

* * * * *

Meanwhile, deep in the desert monstrosity known as Las Noches, the Espada were also having a meeting. It wasn't going well.

Grimmjow Jeagerjaques was loudly threatening to murder anyone and everyone who laid eyes upon his luscious female body. (It didn't help his cause that he was still wearing his usual outfit. Ulquiorra wondered idly if those were the only clothes he had.)

Szayel was gleefully shouting something about 'a wonderful opportunity for experimentation!' his voice as shrill as ever. Starrk was sleeping, the shock of being turned into a woman apparently not enough to faze him. Halibel was being stoic in a corner, and Yammy was investigating his new breasts with a look of horrified fascination spread across his face. Zommari and Barragan were conspicuous in their absence, and Aaroniero was hiding underneath what looked like a tablecloth with a pair of holes cut in it at a about eye height. Nnoitra was nowhere to be seen, though Ulquiorra had seen him stalking around a while ago, looking mightily displeased.

"Funny, aren't they?" Ichimaru Gin's voice whispered in his air. Ulquiorra could almost hear the traitor-captain grinning.

"I certainly never thought I'd see the day Yammy became less of an eyesore to look at," Ulquiorra replied, somewhat politely depending on whether your name was Yammy or not, and turned to look at Gin.

Ulquiorra blinked. Gin seemed to have embraced his newfound femininity with open arms. He was wearing a midriff-baring tube top, with a white miniskirt patterned in silver, and thigh-high leather boots over black fishnet tights. The outfit was topped off by a plain white jacket, left open at the front to show off modest curves. By the looks of it, he had also raided Loly and Menoly's makeup boxes, and managed to put on some sort of eyeliner with more finesse than would be expected from someone who had never done it before.

"I thought I'd try and find out why women take so long to get dressed," Gin explained helpfully. "You should see Aizen-taichou and Kana-chan- they're both so pretty!"

Ulquiorra wondered if he should nod. You never knew with Gin.

Suddenly, Gin's smile disappeared. A musing look appeared on his foxy face, and he stepped back to survey Ulquiorra, stroking an imaginary beard. "Actually, you're not too bad looking yourself. A little volume to your hair, maybe some colour to your cheeks- or maybe not, pale mysterious girls are hot…" he reached out and fluffed Ulquiorra's hair, muttering to himself.

Ulquiorra blinked again. What the hell?

Gin paused in his musing, and smiled again, slow and cunning. "I think I know just what to do with you!" he sang, and reached out to grab hold of Ulquiorra's thin wrist. "Come with me! I have some pretty clothes just waiting for you! They'll look good, I promise!"

Ulquiorra's eyes barely had time to widen in horror before Gin dragged him off to whatever chamber of horrors the once-captain had in mind.

He was doomed.

* * * * *