Disclaimer: Still not mine! I promise you it's not mine!

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Chapter Two

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Mical was naïve. As the Exile kissed him, he believed everything she was telling herself. He believed that perhaps she cared for him as he did for her. Mical was also blissfully ignorant of Atton's previous feelings for Sienna, as he had not been on Malachor V to hear his dying words.

Perhaps it wasn't a very Jedi thing to do, but Mical did not lie to himself, he enjoyed the closeness of Sienna, the feeling of her so near and open to him. He had once been an innocent child, not very long ago. His journey with the Exile had shed some darkness onto his pure mind, thinking only of the light… he had never known of the darkness as he had seen in the past few months.

He was still rather innocent, in a sense, and still himself. And he was worried. Mical didn't know why he was worried, but something told him that he should be. A feeling like a shiver in the middle of the night plagued him momentarily.

But all was forgotten soon enough.

XxXxX

As Sienna Vaas awoke in the med bay the following morning, she recalled the previous evening, and found herself drawn to either crying or smiling. She honestly wasn't sure what she thought anymore. Kreia's words would always run through her mind, corrupting what she was thinking until it was her own voice that Sienna heard.

Within an hour, Sienna had left Mical where he lay and found herself sipping a mug of caffa in the main hold. Mira came in and spotting Sienna, smirked.

"You lied to me," the bounty hunter stated, sitting down across the room.

Sienna scrunched up her brow. "What did I lie to you about?"

A chuckle escaped the redhead's lips and she leaned back in her chair, a knowing look in her eye. "You and the Disciple? You said there was nothing there."

There is nothing there, explained one of the voices.

Yes there is, a second demanded.

Sienna shook her head. "I don't really wish to talk about it."

Mira quirked an eyebrow. "What was he bad or something?" Sienna almost spit out her caffa, but held a straight face anyways. She had difficulty not reliving the previous evening… and she didn't really want to. Not right now. Everything was too confusing.

"Do you know how much longer until we reach Telos?" the blonde asked.

Mira thought to herself that she would bother asking more later, but for now, she nodded and answered Sienna's question. "Bao-Dur said that we'll be just a couple more hours, probably by late afternoon we'll get there. Speaking of Bao-Dur, he's been meaning to talk to you… I had to caution him to stay away last night."

Sienna cringed, avoiding looking at Mira, not wanting to see what the latter meant (though she already knew). Finishing off her caffa and setting down the empty mug, she stood up and nodded to Mira. "I'll go see him then."

"And you kids behave!" Mira teased, but the words stung Sienna as she walked towards the cockpit.

Unconsciously, she prepared herself to see someone sitting in the pilot's chair that wasn't Atton. She prepared herself, without even realizing what she was doing, thinking she was only nervous about seeing Bao-Dur. But a piece of her knew that it would sting her worse than a kinrath when she didn't see Atton in the cockpit, and someone else in his place.

And there he was. Bao-Dur was leaning back in the co-pilot's chair, not the pilot's chair, snoring very lightly, his head leaning against a wall. T3-M4 stood near the door to the cockpit and beeped irately when Sienna walked into him.

"SorryT3," she said quietly, trying not to wake the sleeping Zabrak up. But the damage had been done, and T3's beeps as he left the cockpit weren't needed; Bao-Dur was already awake.

"Yes General?" the Iridonian greeted Sienna. The latter sighed quietly, knowing she couldn't not talk to Bao-Dur now. He was a good listener and a good friend.

"Mira said that you wanted to talk to me," she said simply, sitting down in the pilot's seat. It felt a bit weird to be sitting there, in Atton's seat. When she had talked to him, or argued with him, she had always sat in the co-pilot's chair. But Bao-Dur was sitting there now.

Bao-Dur gave her a small friendly smile. "Yes, I wanted to know that you are alright." Upon further observation, Sienna noted that the Zabrak wasn't in such perfect condition himself. He had a few cuts on his face, and one of his horns looks like it had been chipped. He surely had other scratches and bruises from the crash on his body. Mical did.

I don't want to think about it!

What would you rather think about then? Holding a dying man in your arms, hearing the fool say he loved you?

I don't know, I just don't want to think anymore!

"General?"

Sienna was shaken out of her inner turmoil by Bao-Dur's voice and she nodded. "I'm fine," she told him reassuringly. "A few scratches, bumps, bruises, those sort of things, but outside of that I'm fine."

She knew he hadn't been asking about her physical health, but if she could avoid this conversation, she would. She had already had one breakdown the previous evening, making her feel weak and inadequate. She never liked herself when she let her weaknesses show. And nowadays, she simply didn't like herself very much.

It was so easy not to notice the tears resurfacing.

"General? Are you sure you're alright?" Sienna shook her head. She couldn't lie to Bao-Dur like she could to Mical or Mira. All three were her friends, but Bao-Dur was so perceptive of what she was thinking, she knew that he didn't need the Force to read her mind.

He leaned back in the co-pilot's chair and closed his eyes again. Sienna began sniffling.

"You know, he came to me once, for advice," the Zarbrak said indifferently. "He wondered how he would have fared with you. He asked me about his chances with you. T3 was there, he laughed at… him." It's difficult for anyone to say his name in front of me, isn't it? Is it so obvious my feelings for him?

I don't have any feelings for him. None whatsoever.

"He insisted he was being serious… and now I guess he was being serious." Sienna quieted and looked over at Bao-Dur. "I think we all have lost something at Malachor V. I lost my Remote, Mira lost her family, but you've lost the most. You lost… him.

"And now you are making time with the Disciple. I have to ask why you are doing this. I know that you know that you don't love him." Sienna's eyes were drying up, for which she was glad, but as soon as Bao-Dur spoke so knowledgeably and so wisely and so truly, the tears reappeared.

"I do," she said quietly, trying to convince both Bao-Dur and herself. "I… I didn't love Atton. And I do love Mical."

Bao-Dur knew she wasn't telling the truth. But she was stubborn, he knew this as well. Nodding his head, he turned back towards the Exile. "Just remember, be honest with yourself and you won't hurt anyone. And general… don't hurt yourself."

Nodding silently, Sienna dried her eyes again and headed towards the exit of the cockpit. Making sure Mira had left the main hold, Sienna passed through and enclosed herself in the engine room. It was peaceful in there, and no one but T3 ever wanted to enter.

Here she would meditate, try and find the truth, until they reached Telos.

But she didn't find any truth, only more confusion. All of Kreia's words replayed themselves in Sienna's mind, Bao-Dur's look of concern, Mira's look of knowingness, Mical's look of love and Atton's look as he died… they all meshed together in the end. Until finally they reached Telos.

Bao-Dur's voice came over the loudspeaker and Sienna barely paid any attention as she unlocked the door and headed into the main hold to buckle up for the landing. She stayed silent, and avoided eye contact with any of the others, Mira, Mical and Visas, all present in the main hold. Clearing her mind worked for the time being… and it would keep her from thinking too hard.

XxXxX

"Thank you again Admiral," Sienna said once again. Admiral Carth Onasi stood before the group consisting of Sienna, Bao-Dur, Mical, Mira, Visas, T3, HK and Mandalore.

"It is nothing Exile," the Admiral replied with a smile. "Your group deserves the finest quarters until you set off to wherever you are going." He looked over the group. "I am sure many of you would be an asset to the Republic, and we hope perhaps you may stay on Citadel Station with us and help rebuild Telos."

"I would be honored to assist, Admiral," Bao-Dur told him kindly. Admiral Onasi smiled at the Zabrak and looked over the group once more. Sienna observed that he flinched every time he spotted HK.

"I think we are all tired and should like some rest," Visas commented, cutting into the silence.

Sienna bowed to the Admiral and her fellow Jedi followed suit. As the Jedi and the droids left the office, Mandalore stayed behind. "You are staying?" Sienna asked the man.

"I've got a discussion with the Admiral," he replied gruffly. "I will be leaving for Dxun in the morning, however, so I suppose this is goodbye Exile. I was honored to be serving with you."

"And I with you," the Exile replied with a smile and a bow. Mandalore had been a worthy comrade, holding himself up in the heat of battle and never swaying. She would miss him as a friend… but she wondered what he was speaking with the Admiral about. However, she could not eavesdrop. She followed the others out of the office, the doors shutting behind her.

A serving droid in the complex led the five Jedi and two droids into a turbolift and down a few corridors until they arrived at two luxurious suites. Inside the suites, comfortable furniture and beautiful artwork decorated the rooms, colorful and original. Sienna smiled at the simple sight of such beauty.

"I guess the Telosians go all out for their guests, eh?" Mira commented.

"You are honored guests," informed the serving droid, J5-89. "And I will be your serving droid during your stay on Citadel Station. If you need anything at all, please, let me know and I will retrieve it for you."

"Thank you, but we are fine," Sienna said, and the serving droid left the group.

"I suppose we're doing this girl/boy?" Mira asked, jerking a thumb at the two different rooms. Sienna shrugged. "It makes sense, I suppose." Sharing a room with Mical was probably the last thing she wanted right now, but being reminded of the previous night by Mira over and over again may be a downgrade.

Sienna did feel tired, though she had woken only hours ago. It was late evening on Telos, however, and so she felt Visas had been right when she mentioned sleep.

"I'll take this bed, I suppose," Sienna said, setting down her pack on a comfy looking deep crimson bed, covered in rich black sheets and pillows.

Mira shrugged fairly and took a second bed, identical to Sienna's, in a small separate room. Visas mimicked the movements, and soon enough both women were asleep. Sienna, however, was having more trouble.

You wish Atton were here… then perhaps it would feel like the victory Admiral Onasi had made it out to be.

I don't need Atton! I don't need anyone! I am perfectly fine!

You lie. You keep lying!

Ripping the sheets off her bed, the Telosian sun having set beneath the horizon hours ago, Sienna grabbed her outer robe and slipped it on over her undergarments. Where are you going Sienna? Going to find consoling with Mical? You will only hurt him and yourself further. Going to speak with Bao-Dur? He will only bring you painful truths!

I don't care what you say! I'm… I'm going to feel better in the end! I love Mical as he loves me!

No you don't! You know you don't! Bao-Dur told you that you don't and he's right! Stop lying to yourself. Get back to sleep.

Sienna could no longer tell which voice was truly hers in her mind. Before it had seemed painfully obvious, but it no longer was. She felt like crying again, but why? Why did she want to cry? And why did she want to spend her nights with Mical.

Because you wish he were Atton.

LIES!

And so Sienna spent a second night with Mical.

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Ha! I was determined to finally finish this chapter, and here it is. Looking outward, I think this fic will probably be around six to ten chapters long, consisting of about a month or so between the beginning and the end. I am forming in my mind the plotline further, and so, I've got the idea grasped better. Anyways, as always, reviews are greatly welcomed, but flames are a no-no. I hope to update again within the month, but I've got no guarantees! I would hope to get this done by spring, but we shall see.

Review responses on my homepage! By the way, review responses for all fics will no longer be on but instead on my livejournal account just for my fics which will include updates on future updates, future fic ideas and plotlines, and of course, review responses.

11-13-05